spreadsheet hoe
@spreadsheet_hoe
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unloading my stream of consciousness into the void 260 characters at a time
Australia
Joined April 2018
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I mentioned
@LoganPaul
in my most recent video and YouTube auto-captioned his name to 'Women Pole'.
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Americans be like “Australians have the weirdest names for shit” then go ahead and call a biscuit a ‘snickerdoodle’
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I have been in an absolute
@JosiahBrooks
VORTEX the past week someone help me i can't stop watching his videos
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So stoked I finally got one of
@CallMeKevin1811
's shirts! I'm so proud to be wearing the likeness of our great leader Jim 🙌🏻🙌🏻🙌🏻
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Finished knitting my psych ward sweater. Pretty damn happy with it! All the nurses are literally overjoyed hahha
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I just love
@emmablackery
it's really refreshing to see someone fall from grace but make a full 180 so graciously and transparently. 10/10 emma love your work
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My boyfriend just asked me if I was watching 'Dr. CGI'.
... no babe. It's Captain Disillusion.
@CDisillusion
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Once my creepy boss sent me a weird message from a fake fb account and I knew it was him so I pretended to track his IP address from metadata in an image he sent and he got so scared he blocked me. The image didn’t have any metadata. There was no IP. He’s in jail now, unrelatedly
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Omg I'm on a plane to my hometown and the 'show me your muscular tits' ex is on this fucking flight
HOW
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MY BIRD IS ALIVE. I can't even believe it. I literally can't. They found him 4km away in some school gardens and he was found by a groundskeeper. I am so shocked I can't believe it's real! Man I need a go to church now and pray or some shi
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So the psych ward was always fully stocked with these little tubs of vanilla yoghurt and it was SO GOOD and it turns out the supermarket sells the same one in 1kg tubs. So I’m having a great time.
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ok what the fuck you're not allowed piss content or violence on onlyfans?? well. there goes that idea.
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The past few days have been the first time I’ve been able to take in my surroundings properly and actually interact with other people in a meaningful way and turns out there’s another knitting girl on the ward and we have been knitting together and it is SO wholesome
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I’m officially off all nicotine products! No more vape no more gum. We did it boys
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I finally finished knitting and finishing this top! How cute is it. Blocking now 👏🏻
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Omg I was talking to two guys out in smoko and they said they were going out and do I want anything and I said I was fine but they asked if I like cake and I said yes so they brought me back AN ENTIRE CHOCOLATE CAKE??? omg 🥹
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As a kid my mother was a crazy MSG conspiracy theorist and let me tell you when I found out that MSG is completely harmless and all the side effects I’d had for years were all placebos? Boy. That was a ride.
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The DNA from my ancestry test is being processed! Should I do a video on the results?
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Guys. GUYS. I finally put the album I wrote in 2013 (!!!) up for online distribution.
Project Aries, coming soon to Spotify. (and a video on it coming tomorrow)
19yo me would have been so proud ♥️
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when u scream at abortion protesters in the mall lol I’m just as bad as them I guess but whatever I give no fucks go and die
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Just spent the first night/day in my new house and I already feel so much more at peace with myself. What a fucking journey. Now can I please sign the lease for at least 5 years plz
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ok not gonna lie... kiiiiiiiinda wanna go back to youtube?
i know i literally just said i never would and that makes me a huge hypocrite but i'm allowed to change my mind, right?
maybe i just have no idea what i want because my entire life is in a state of flux?
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Bro. Look at my fucking marks. LOOK AT THIS SHIT. I’m so proud of myself 😭😭😭
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When I was a kid I had this neighbour girl who would keep inviting herself over to hang out with me but she was super annoying, so one time I decided to show her all the pot plants in our garden in great detail knowing it would bore her shitless. She never came over again
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People keep asking me are you ok are you ok are you ok NO I’m not FUCKIJG OK I’m the least ok I’ve ever been in my entire stupid life I’m so fucking unhappy and stressed and I am so fucking sick of it all
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Aw look at this cute pic of me from when I used to do the children's shows for the orchestra in Tasmania! I kinda miss working with kids hey
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MY TATTOO LOOKS SO FUCKING AWESOME it's just lines atm BUT IT'S SO COOL I'M SO BEYOND HAPPY WITH HOW IT CAME OUT
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So I'm not a Star Wars fan. By any means. I've only seen a few of the movies and I don't really care. But my bf just asked me which ones I'd seen and i had to try and describe them
"Yoda in a forest"
"Luke I am your father"
and
"baby darth Vader drives a car"
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The crazy homeless lady asked me what my name was once and I told her everyone calls me Miki All-Brite and she goes “all bright? They should call you Sunny” and now every time she sees me she calls me Sunny. I kinda love it
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Why do people ALWAYS ask 'what do your parents think of _____?'
I'm 25 dude what my parents think is irrelevant. I'm an adult living independently of my own accord in the world. Why are people so fixated on parents? Besides I don't get along with my family and haven't for years
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People get so excited when they get tan whereas I get excited when I’m still pale because my vicious sunscreen use worked. I love sunscreen so much man. You wanna look like a leather bag when you’re old?? Because THE SUN WILL DO THAT.
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i told my bf's dad tonight 'you have such a great family, everyone is so successful and driven'
and he said back 'successful? I don't care that they're successful i just want them to be happy'
like damn
my family always taught me that success was happiness but it's so not
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Tic of the day:
"Is light a particle or a wave?"
"IT'S A BITCH"
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Is this not the most satisfying report card you have ever seen?? HDs in EVERYTHING baby!!! Perfect GPA life ✌🏻
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You ever have a convo with someone and they just rant and rant and rant about themselves and literally ignore you when you chime in with anything personal to add and it infuriates you so much that someone can be so selfish so you just resign yourself to sitting there nodding
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Proud owner of a burgundy silver wing. It’s so fucking huge I can’t knock it off the centre stand without someone else pushing the back of it. 600cc of pure scooter badassery get on my level hoes
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Well. I guess I’ve officially learned
#blender
now. Not bad for a first try fixing a 3D phone scan!
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it always freaks me out when americans type 'an herb'
like why do y'all not pronounce the H? It sounds weird like that!
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When I was a teenager I had to run away from home and there were a bunch of kind parents of my friends that took me in and helped me. When I have my own kids and own house I hope that one day I can do that for someone else and be a safe space for whoever needs it
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Gotta say all the fucking posts on social media about people being fake sad for attention are really pissing me off. People are real sad and killing themselves fuck you all
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Oh my actual god some dickhead cyclist made fun of me on the road for rightfully stopping at a roundabout??? So I caught up to him flipped him off and called him and asshole and MAN it felt good love me some good old fashioned road rage against dickhead cyclists
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Now the cat's out of the bag I am SO doing a video on this
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Fuck yeah boi got 100% in my first physics quiz even though I had no idea what I was doing reckon I can get another HD??
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That clip of the miss world pageant miss France has got me absolutely cackling and it’s the first time I’ve laughed in months thanks miss France
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my bird is so cute
whenever i'm eating he'll go to his seeds and start eating too because they're super social eaters
CUTE LITTLE MAN he's the best
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no shade to the furry community I think those guys are dope, I’m not even trying to be funny I reckon I would make awesome furry porn tbh
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God tell ya what’s making me depressed. Them not letting me be a natural night owl in here. I just woke up at 1am and now I’m outside vaping with a cup of tea and no one is bothering me and it’s the closest to happy I’ve felt in weeks
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The French word for goldfish is ‘poisson d’or’ which literally means ‘fish of gold’ which imho has a totally different energy to ‘goldfish’
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Just dropping in to say it is week 1 of my science degree and I am really enjoying it so far. I feel interested and useful and like I’m actually getting smarter none of which I felt EVER doing a music degree
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I posted a picture of my sweater to a knitting subreddit and everyone is going nuts telling me how great I am and how cute and creative my sweater is and omg this is the colossal dose of serotonin i needed
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I have such great friends and honestly my life is pretty damn great and im just having a good time rn just let me ok
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oh wow i just posted my 1000th tweet. and it was about crying over a fern
ok
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So my video from yesterday has 1000 views??? That's the best any video of mine has done in just one day after upload! It's so encouraging thanks guys ✨
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When I was a kid I had this game called The Lost Mind of Dr Brain and there was a card matching game of hand symbols and letters and I only realised years later that the hand symbols were american sign language and I had learnt the whole alphabet without even meaning to
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Not gonna lie having my dad here was actually really nice. We fixed my leaking shower tap together and it was a total daddy/daughter bonding experience. I don’t normally have a lot of contact with my dad and it was cool to talk to a parent as an adult myself
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I studied really hard and got 90% in my solutions stoichiometry quiz!
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I made a decision a few months ago that I will never mention race or racism online in any form again. I am not a racist. I am a person with curly hair that does curly hair styles. That's it. Race doesn't come into it and it's not my place to say anything on it anyway.
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While I was in the country I met this lovely dude who’s wife had killed herself and we hell bonded over being the people left behind when a loved one does that and it was honestly really nice. No one gets it unless they’ve been through it with someone very close.
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Had the most severe supermarket tics I've ever had today. But Jack made it better by making weird noises along with me and distracting people from noticing me too much and I'm actually so blessed
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when i was 21 i got my first decent paying money job and took these photos jesus h christ on a stick how did i think this was acceptable behaviour lol
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Aah, stealing tram transportation. It's good to be back in M-town.
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98% in my programming assignment!!!!!!! Bitch! I thought I was getting under 80 I’m so happy!
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Okay have I just been having terrible sex my entire fucking life??? What the fuck is going on I’ve literally been having the best sex ever this past week with actual randoms what the fuck gives
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A lot of people have been telling me lately that I'm very down to earth and just don't give a fuck. which makes me happy because I really do pride myself on being real and chill
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Two of my new room mates in the ward are extroverted BPD girls and we all just went on a mission to buy chocolate and candy from the shop and honestly it was so wholesome and fun
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I asked an AI to tell me why I should keep living if everyone I care about has killed themselves and jesus christ man. jesus christ
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I can't believe I pay $175 a WEEK to live in a house. Like... what the fuck?? What does the house do for me?? It doesn't massage me or encourage me or feed my bird for me. It literally does nothing. And it costs me $175 a fucking week just to exist in it. Fuck rentals man.
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Tonight I’m going to a classical music concert where a professional choir is premiering a piece I wrote about wildflowers then I’m leaving directly after to go to an adult sex party to hang out with a bunch of naked drug takers. What even is my life.
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Going to sign over my new house today. I'm so stoked y'all
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holy shit i looked it up and i was right hahaha. the force is pretty fucking tiny but apparently i would weigh 0.5 kilos less at the equator than i would at the poles lol. istg i hated studying rotational physics but i'm glad i did because this shits so fucking cool
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I still haven't moved into my new house yet because my bf went to Adelaide and everything's been so fucking busy this whole week and I am getting really tetchy and annoyed about it
I FINALLY FOUND A PLACE TO LIVE AND I CAN'T EVEN LIVE IN IT YET
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My life has not changed in the slightest since going into lockdown for Corona. Now I just don’t feel bad about sitting at home all day watching Death Note
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No I will NOT stop live tweeting my time in the psych ward while I’m lucid enough to use my phone, thank you. This account is a journal for me and my thoughts/observations if you know me irl and read some weird shit, no you didn’t.
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Maybe I should start drawing furry porn to make money in this lockdown
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I don’t know this girl at all but from what I heard she moved away and cut contact with everyone and avoided everything, which like. Fair enough honestly. But I hope it doesn’t eat her up inside and I hope she’s ok. No one has ever or will ever blame her
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remember when my mother bitched and whinged about how i never had her over for dinner, after she THREW ME OUT OF THE HOUSE when i was a teenager hahaha funny that
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@TheGabbieShow
I take my bird out with me sometimes! He has a special bird leash. It's good for him to experience the big wide world instead of just a few rooms in our house 😊
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27 is a weird age where it's like "hey so we're having a party" and you have to ask "what kind of party, boardgames? wine and cheese? shots of tequila? drugs?"
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now i live in my house alone it's actually dawning on me that this entire place is mine. it's all mine. this almost-half-a-million dollar house belongs to me and nobody else and I fucking bought it all by myself. i fucking did that. i control it all
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just found out my school had a 10 year reunion and I WASNT INVITED HAHAHAHAHA oh my actual god this is funnier than the actual reunion would have been
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I went for a drive for the first time in months today and I was super out of practise and accidentally cut someone off and I felt hella bad but then later someone else did the exact same thing to me and I was like fuck I can’t even be mad at this dude
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My algorithm has started showing me “how to tell if you’re depressed” content catch up homie come on
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So my tics have gone down ok at uni! I told the guy I got paired with that I have tourettes and he was like "it's chill man i have a mate with a similar tic to yours". Fucking best thing that could have happened.
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Omg I just got an interview for a maths tutoring position for year 11s and 12s. Holy Jesus i am so scared… can I do this??? I literally failed maths specialised in yr 11 and now I might have an opportunity to teach it???? I’m great at maths now, but yikes that imposter syndrome
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i uber eats'd an entire ginormous chocolate torte cake because what the hell and honestly. best decision ever
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My canary is better, i think he was just malnourished. fed him some leafs and garlic and he perked right up
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