j̵͍̎i̸̗͛z̵͔̎z̴̗͌w̴̥̽i̵̛̮t̷̛̟c̶̣͝h̸͉̍
@spermatomancer
Followers
19,647
Following
657
Media
2,441
Statuses
33,572
🔞 $100 unblocking fee
the forest, oregon
Joined August 2018
Don't wanna be here?
Send us removal request.
Explore trending content on Musk Viewer
重陽の節句
• 82507 Tweets
#1STMEETJACKANDJOKER
• 81496 Tweets
U STEAL MY HEART 1STMEET
• 72784 Tweets
昭和99年
• 59403 Tweets
WHERE DO WE GO
• 55441 Tweets
BTS is 7
• 49953 Tweets
シーザリオ
• 48953 Tweets
高市さん
• 47850 Tweets
Official MV
• 46153 Tweets
バースデー
• 41305 Tweets
Happy New Week
• 25469 Tweets
#NiceGuy_NEXTDOOR
• 24952 Tweets
#CDTVライブライブ
• 24224 Tweets
PRABOWOJKW TetapSELARAS
• 21287 Tweets
ADUdomba UdahGAKJAMAN
• 20483 Tweets
ジャミル
• 17265 Tweets
くつろぎマイルーム
• 16981 Tweets
フルサイズ
• 14680 Tweets
神ちゃん
• 14113 Tweets
Gelinlik
• 13085 Tweets
Pinned Tweet
magic is real 😌
thanks anon 😍. the next thing I'm going to manifest is first class airfare to Sao Paulo
0
0
45
34
9
399
finally we can get back to the way things were 🥰
482
39K
355K
In 16 years Elon Musk's baby will beat him to death with a sock full of apartheid emeralds and change his name to Ryan
544
27K
264K
Fellas is it gay to be male? You're literally inside a man
553
29K
183K
girls don't want a chad girls want a weird goblin man who makes them laugh and brings them treasures and potions
618
15K
140K
I'm 5'11", as all of you know, but when guys claim to be 6' and I'm taller than them I just say oh man that's weird! Are you sure? I'm only 5'8"?
the panic lmao
412
4K
110K
wild that the most unhinged republican president in history sent us $2000 checks back when we had like 12k cases a day and now we have 300k cases a day and a dem president who's like "lol not my problem go to work jack"
649
13K
108K
Try Not To Fuck, a new reality show where we send 25 hotties to a sexy island and the last one to fuck wins 1 million dollars. watch out! jacking off counts as fucking and all the food is laced with MDMA
222
4K
88K
there should be a second olympics for people who are just going balls out with performance enhancing drugs and experimental therapies and whatever other shit they want. they can call it the cool olympics
287
6K
70K
It's gonna be cool to watch a 2 trillion dollar hedge fund bailout get pushed through on Monday while everyone else waits for a meager stimulus check until mid-May
107
7K
53K
I just tried to watch jaws and couldn't last 20 minutes. it's straight up glorifying sharks eating people
300
2K
51K
you better watch out 🎅 you better watch out 🎅 you better watch out 🎅 you better watch out 🎅 you better watch out 🎅 you better watch out 🎅 you bETTER WATCH OUT 🎅 YOU BETTER WATCH OUT 🎅 YOU BETTER WATCH OUT 🎅 YOU BETTER WATCH OUT 🎅 YOU BETTER WATCH OUT 🎅 YOU BETTER WA
122
17K
50K
the 70s are back babyy! the fashions, the houseplants, the gas crisis. all we need now is a disco revival and mountains of cheap, pure cocaine
160
6K
50K
Credit where it's due, he knows what he likes
204
4K
45K
tfw you're about to do hobbies with the girls
117
5K
45K
if we really want to protect kids from sexuality let's start with straight men who've felt entitled to share their opinions about my body and what they'd like to do with it starting when I was 11
127
7K
43K
girl how are u farting 97 times in 2 days
944
2K
40K
I keep seeing tweets on the tl that all sexts are cringe but some are pure poetry. exhibit a:
117
2K
34K
guys if we defund the cops who will let all the rape kits go untested for decades
64
4K
31K
It sounds batshit but hear me out,
enemies with benefits
309
3K
30K
what if we kissed at pride
🥺
👉👈
(in the designated kissing closet where none of The Families can see our gay kiss)
96
3K
29K
I just read the phrase "platonic polycule"
that's called friends. you're talking about having friends
148
2K
28K
I'm really sorry I caught the ocean on fire by forgetting my reusable grocery bags that one time
29
3K
28K
if you get sucked off in the matrix u bust in real life
84
2K
25K
I bet Rasputin ate pussy like a dog drinks water after it just took a 2 mile run
113
1K
25K
what if the pope was a leggy redhead with big tits
211
1K
22K
Apparently I hit a sore spot 😔
245
3K
20K
why don't the "No Kink At Pride" people freak out about tits at mardi gras? what, oh what, could be the difference?
well I guess we'll never know
188
2K
20K
hi, someone with heavy food sensory issues here! beluga caviar and champagne are two of the only things I can actually consume regularly and not get sick from.
36
768
19K
everyone should talk about their work fuckups the way cops do
"an email was misfired resulting in a client-involved misunderstanding"
37
2K
19K
say what you will about the u.s. (it sucks, is bad, etc) but our national anthem sucks and is bad also
65
1K
18K
someone just dmed me this image and I demand more information
I M M E D I A T E L Y
90
1K
17K
guy who does a land acknowledgement before eating pussy
36
723
16K
"ohh nooooo a female singer consensually pissed in a dudes mouth on stage"
yeah it's called being an entertainer, calm down
142
658
16K
getting top surgery (lobotomy)
17
2K
13K
Jizz is a type of pee and the "male orgasm" is a myth perpetuated to try to trick women into letting guys piss on them.
147
974
12K
sex scenes in movies are often gratuitous, unlike when I fucked your wife, which advanced the plot quite a bit
16
859
12K
for some of you, touching grass simply won't be enough. instead, take 3.5-5 grams of psilocybin and walk alone into the forest
79
1K
12K
What happened to the Pete dance? Why has Pete never done the dance? Do the dance Pete
92
540
12K
if you look hot in public for your date's benefit you're doing a sex crime against children and you WILL be cancelled. your partner loves your ass and you wear tight pants on a date? go to prison.
186
1K
11K
I cannot believe that this dumb thought I had WAS ALREADY A REAL SHOW
29
81
11K
I'm begging you people to learn what gaslighting means. it doesn't mean "a stranger shares an opinion I don't like"
93
818
11K
We need to talk about height gaps in relationships. If one of you is under 5'5" and the other is over 6' that's EXTREMELY problematic and quite possibly grooming as well
563
362
10K
if u think about it, having a group conversation is a little bit like a bukkake
53
649
10K
Interesting how many of you say "ACAB" and "fuck 12" but are members of the horny police. Just something I've noticed
79
689
10K
If Bernie wins 10 states today I'll post ass
67
636
10K
Last time a fascist hid in an underground bunker things worked out pretty good. Fingers crossed!
33
1K
10K
casual sex is very dangerous! you do NOT want to become addicted to oxytocin!!
also avoid: petting a cat or dog, hugging, yoga, music, massage, having friends, expressing love verbally, meditation, eating, doing nice things for people, pleasure in general
53
647
10K
"the progressive alternative to mypillow" is actually my thick juicy pixar mom dumptruck ass
48
631
9K
These lil guys come scurrying around the corner wyd
236
962
8K
remember how Chrissy Teigen said she lets her dogs shit on the floor and pretends she doesn't see it so the maid will clean it up for her
this is the rich person version of "not noticing" the trash is full until your roommate gets fed up and takes it out, but grosser and worse
41
420
8K
who could have predicted that privatizing utilities would encourage them to prioritize short term profits over long term sustainability
25
1K
8K
The most potent phytoestrogen is in beer but y'all wanna pound racks of Miller lite every weekend and call people "soyboy" 💅
31
643
8K
stop asking if squirt is pee. if you care you don't deserve it
43
759
7K
every time a cop murders someone their precinct should immediately lose 10% of their budget
118
476
7K
As a true leftist I only eat real proletariat food: stewed salted beets, a single cabbage leaf boiled in well water, and black bread. Anything besides these three foods is bourgeois decadence
60
494
7K
The incels are onto us, ladies
432
695
7K
No offense but fuck animal crossing. It's just doing chores while being cute I can do that irl
64
396
7K
the female gaze is when I look at women, not as sexual objects, but as fully realized three dimensional human beings, with their own unique stories, fears and dreams that I would also like to fuck
16
595
7K
norm macdonald faked his own death to murder tom cruise and assume his life
61
553
6K
in the star wars universe cum is called jazz
56
345
6K
that 'dick expert' lady is totally right, men are always like "ew I hate it when my sexy wife wants to suck and fuck all the time. it's scary and gross!" men hate it when their dicks get wet
128
128
6K
If buttcheeks were measured in cup sizes lmao
44
152
6K
everyone saying sinema is hot sounds like the pussy hat wine moms who were horny for beto. stop it. get some help. they're both fives
94
206
6K
Hi I'm an antifa anarchist gun girl, anyway I'm gonna call the cops over a shitpost
48
140
5K
when I was a kid it seemed like the Bermuda triangle was going to be a much more prominent issue for me than it turned out to be. same with quicksand
99
360
5K
The most compelling argument I've seen for voting Biden is that if he wins, libs on here will shut the fuck up for 4 whole years
111
351
5K
If Bernie wins SC I'll post an ass gif
99
129
5K
OUT: my brother in christ
IN: my sister in satan
37
709
5K
I've been to a lot of pride parades and never seen anal penetration or full frontal penis in a crowded daylit street. turns out the real perverted degenerates were actually sports fans all along
29
423
5K
It's maternity photo shoots like this that keep me from deleting facebook
113
433
5K
Heads up: when libertarians say "fuck 12" they're talking about something totally different
47
288
4K
I got called daddy last time I used my strap on someone so y'all better wish me a happy father's day
45
132
5K
this is the worst day of my life
70
39
4K
remember this? lol. lmao.
I’m proposing $2,000 monthly payments throughout the pandemic and for 3 months after, because rent and bills are still due during this crisis and people are going hungry. It’s that basic.
5K
18K
80K
19
387
5K
@punished_cait
the beautiful and intelligent women will be lining up to work at the cheap/free wing restaurant/titty bar for broke men who want to complain for an hour, or if you're lucky, debate
9
45
4K
"Do Orcs Practice Circumcision" - the greatest thread in the history of forums, locked by a moderator after 12,239 pages of heated debate,
25
310
4K
"No offense but you're not the type I'd rape tbth"
-the president
41
725
4K
you go over to a girl's house and see 97 seemingly empty glass jars on a shelf.
"oh those are just my fart jars, I'm just stocking up before I launch them. excuse me for a minute"
she pulls a jar and lid out of a crate of empties and leaves the room
18
87
4K
"we're polyamorous"
- sounds nerdy
- probably do klingon cosplay
- there's spreadsheets involved
"we have an...unconventional... relationship"
- mysterious
- could be anything
- are they cannibals?
27
525
4K
hot take: acting is easy and literally anyone could do it
150
124
4K
everyone saying "get an IUD" is spelling it wrong. it's spelled I𝗘D
22
286
4K
when I was a kid sometimes a car full of adult men would slow down so one could yell things like "I want to fuck your holes" at me, but at least I never went to pride and saw someone wearing a jockstrap
17
225
4K
other, non goblin types girls may want: cryptid, elf, half-giant. the jokes, potions and treasures are non-negotiable
24
180
4K
Ironic they call it a "man cave" when the cave is so obviously a yonic symbol. We get it, you want to return to the womb. Childish
56
265
3K
someone tell Adam Levine that women don't want the word fuck with 19 k's, we want vows of self mutilation in worship of our beauty
6
156
3K
@herong
wow I can't believe that cultivating an adversarial relationship with your foster child in which you conceptualize them as a "shitty roommate" has resulted in them not being open to your advice
3
40
3K
why tf haven't drive in movies come back yet. I don't wanna breathe y'all's air in the theatre no offense
74
174
3K
really cockblocked myself by getting finger tattoos the day before going to a baby shower that will be swarming with milfs
33
75
3K