Kerubo
@slyrie
Followers
32K
Following
35K
Media
12K
Statuses
359K
Food Enthusiast ❤️ | Mind The Business That Pays You | Lower your expectations of me | Talk nice, or don’t talk to me at all
Joined January 2012
Men suffering in a system they created. Wild.
296
7K
21K
The real question is why does it start to work when it's slapped?
Why do people slap the remote when its not working???.
122
22K
13K
Hapo kwa pan we see your promises and hapo kwa plate we see what you’ll deliver.
101
1K
5K
Are we still doing a shame billboard for all the MPs who vote yes?.
120
2K
4K
Nakhumicha Wafula… NHIF lost 368 million shillings in typing error… has your attention not been drawn to that?.
My attention has been drawn to efforts by some individuals to raise funds from the public to pay hospital bills for persons injured during the demonstrations. Out of the total 294 casualties attended to in our Refferal Hospitals, 235 have been treated for various degrees of.
15
2K
3K
If the future is digital, why do you need to go to Dubai? . Anyway, go shake that ass.
On my way to Dubai to chair Africa-Asia meeting on the applications of Digital Economy Platform in the world of work. The future is digital. As a country, it's a time we exploit the digital economy.
155
892
3K
Mnasema Gen Z will be the real… wiper?.
Kalonzo: Gen Z will wipe all of us out if we are not careful
37
2K
3K
One day Nairobi restaurants will have to explain to us why a cocktail full of ice cubes and sugar is KES 1,200.
65
516
3K
I hate the small talk before requests. I promise you, I won’t feel bad if you get straight to the point. Put everything in one paragraph.
41
808
3K
Unpopular opinion: If things worked, you would not need to go to Canada or Finland for higher education. It would be just as good here at home.
17
2K
3K
Watu walikuwa wanaitisha an extra foolscap grew up to write threads on Twitter.
42
593
3K
I like property shows. Looking at houses I can’t afford makes me happy.
57
506
3K
I asked my Dad why he always forgot our birthdays akaniambia heri yeye husahau birthdays. Kuna wazazi husahau closing day watoto wanabaki shule 😂😂.
64
672
3K
Ndio tumeingia 5th year. Kama presidential term.
I don’t think any normal person can be single for 3 years straight.
81
773
3K
Imagine preparing for tomorrow then someone shoots you today. Wild.
25
832
2K
Not the driver telling me “hata mimi Covid ilikuwa imenishika jana…” 😩😩.
73
260
2K
African Parents: Na naona uko na iPhone mpya. Ulinunua pesa ngapi? . African child: Hata ni rafiki yangu alinipea na 15k.
PRESIDENT RUTO says his chartered jet for US trip cost taxpayer less than Sh10m; friends of Kenya offered the plane after he offered to travel on Kenya Airways.
23
893
2K
It's rude to leave your plus one alone in a crowd of people when you're the only person they know in that crowd. You ask someone to accompany you somewhere, you be by their side most part of the event. Okuuuurrr?.
45
1K
2K
Plan ya ODM ni kushukisha pombe mpaka 250 bob when I just want 3L of cooking oil to go back to KES 400.
26
427
2K
If you’re unable to pay a debt, kindly communicate. Silence is mistaken for rudeness. No. Silence is rudeness.
27
624
1K
Sioni shida ya kuitwa 2/10. We’re all 2/10 to someone, and they’ll still slide in our DMs.
32
206
1K
Can we sign a petition to remove that man from that seat? And for him to never ever vie for any political seat? . IS THERE A WAY?!.
32
403
1K
Being an adult means understanding that life is moving fast for everyone and sometimes your friends can’t show up for everything.
7
480
1K
I want y’all to understand that this man would never let his kids go to schools where students sat under trees. Normalize insulting these people. And their families.
There's nothing wrong with having classes under trees, there's more oxygen outside ~ Education CS George Magoha
30
484
1K
Btw people should normalize suing for child support. The system is so many things, but they don’t play when it comes to children.
58
333
1K
Someone should explain why 1 packet is too little, and 2 packets is too much.
31
348
1K
Guys hahaha did you ever feed grasshoppers as a kid? With little pieces of grass? 😂😂 wasn’t it oddly satisfying?.
65
274
1K
Hata ofisi ya president hakuna stima? Unacceptable kabisa.
Activities at JKIA are at a standstill due to a power BLACKOUT. Where are we heading as a country?
17
410
1K
Am I the only one who can tell when an Uber driver is going to be problematic with the first phone call?.
45
204
1K
I feel like we should start clearing our bookmarks 😂 I don’t trust this new boss.
20
236
1K
But dating a faithful man is hectic. They don't take you out on vacations or buy you gifts because they're not guilty of anything.
122
2K
962
Watu wako na iPhone huskiza tungoma sijawai ona. Hizo simu haziwezi cheza Kwangwaru?.
66
496
946
Today I sat next to a very loud high school girl who couldn't wait to finish school in November, get an ID and then get a job that pays 65k a month in January as she waits for her results. I did not want to tell her.
91
601
968
Lord. We have seen what you have done for others.
BREAKING: South Korea jails former president Lee for 15 years
11
650
891
Moral of the story: If they wanted to build schools, they would.
Nliwashw msikuange wa mbio kupayuka. Social media nmerealize wasee wengi utake any given opportunity ama chance just to complain. Hii nyumba ya Kiptum ilitoka tu fine ajab.
9
421
894
I still think about that tweet that said “why are you going through his phone just to start a fight and still stay?” . Changed my life.
15
232
865
Wengine wetu Valentine's Day tulikuwa tunaambiwa "I don't need to show you love today when I can do it every day" halafu mans anaproceed kukutreat kama nduma the remaining 364 days. Children of lesser God.
34
322
831
People who played basketball in high school really acted like they flew in from the States to study in Kenya. Lmao!!.
67
622
807
To anyone reading this, May your prayers be answered ❤️ May you have a breakthrough this coming week ❤️ May you have a prosperous week ❤️.
30
355
799
May you wake up to an Mpesa message tomorrow to start your beautiful week 🙏🏾.
14
168
800
Alas. Today is single parents day 💞. To every single parent on my timeline, we are going to be alright ❤️🙏🏾.
19
145
768
I watch Engage stories because at 23, if someone had told be I’d be where I am right now in my career and personal growth, I’d have laughed and probably been kinder to myself. I’ve experienced rapid growth. I hope one day I’ll get to tell my story. It’s INSANE!.Trust the process.
12
69
771
If your thoughts were with them, they’d have PPE kits. Their salaries paid. Health insurance. Proper care. You make me sick.
Our thoughts are with Dr Mogusu’s family, their loved ones and colleagues at this sorrowful moment. Rest In Peace.
18
197
758
😂😂😂 what's the first thing your Mum says when you wake up at 9am instead of 6am like an African child? #AfricanMumChallenge.
266
157
704
I celebrate my birthday from 23rd November to 25th November because my Mom told me that I was born on 23rd but my Dad wrote 25th when they were getting my birth certificate. So technically, I turn 25 today. I am accepting gifts from today. ❤️❤️.
97
71
723
Imagine going out in some club to sit with sweaty people and drink overpriced alcohol when you can just cuddle up with your babe, drink, make love and maybe watch a movie you won’t finish. I choose cuddles.
41
184
715
Every day is a struggle for the woman. Catcalls. Insults. Random men following Her. Random men grabbing parts of Her body. A man she knows killing Her. A man she knows beating Her up. Why? Because He can. May God protect Her.
16
279
702
Growing older makes me realize that there is no manual for relationships and friendships. Just do what makes you happy. Get rid of anything/anyone that disturbs your peace. Give people the same energy they're giving you. Don't go over and beyond for someone who wouldn't for you.
14
438
688
Nataka nilewe waite Ambulance.Kesho niamke na mabablas.Nikunywe supu niskie fabulous.Hangie ikiisha, tena repeat repeat
You call yourself a patriot huh? Can you fluently recite all 3 stanzas of our english National Anthem?.
64
1K
687