Vaxine Beneba Clarke
@slamup
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Author Foreign Soil, How Decent Folk Behave, The Hate Race, It’s the Sound of the Thing etc. Poet in Residence at University of Melbourne. Retweet is a retweet.
Aboriginal land
Joined October 2009
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🙌🏾Gonna take these 5 stars and shove them in my pocket and run as fast away as I can with them and never look back, because this story took me 7 YEARS to adapt, and cross my heart and hope to die I am never writing another play again. Go see it!
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there are other women
who want to say
me too
but can't
they sit at home
minding the children
of women who march
& hoping to god
the husbands
of those women
do not arrive home
first
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"White Feminism" doesn't mean "every feminist who is white".
White Feminism refers to a particular *kind* of "feminism" which denies intersectionality, upholds oppressive structures, and benefits certain women over others.
Lots of white feminists reject White Feminism.
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To be honest, this is still by far the best covid advertising I’ve seen in Australia - spotted at
@VicUnions
in March.
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Strange but heartwarming story. This one kids event I did about 7 years ago in a bookshop, I turned up and there was one kid and his grandma. I waited until about ten minutes past the time and no one else turned up, which was really strange.+
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Would it kill Gladys to say “We are grateful to have received additional vaccine doses, and we thank the other states, some of whom have really done it tough.” Instead of continuing to claim that NSW is ahead of the game. Show some grace FFS, it doesn’t cost anything.
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Parliament pausing for a moment to acknowledge victims of bullying, then moving on to casually vote on whether or not to allow trans people to be bullied is peak gaslighting.
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If you're angry that the man next to you is being paid 20% more than you to do the same job, but not that the woman of colour next to you you is being paid 20% less than you for doing the same job: that's not feminism, it's self interest.
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the real truth is
black girlhood
just don't exist
black girls
don't get no
pigtailed-sandbox-lollipop
jump-rope-till-college
mama-ties-your-laces
gig
we are all born
woman
enough
for their auctions
beds and kitchens
#SurvivingRKelly
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Watching Penny Wong responding to the press, or in parliament, is like watching a Ferrari go 40km an hour so the other drivers can keep up. Talk about the dimming of shine.
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So predictable that the virus starts yet again in NSW in wealthy beachside suburbs, and then two weeks later it’s “ethnic communities in the west”🙄 and “police will be enforcing”
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When a white man sits down next to me on the train, I nervously clutch my bag, shuffle over & cower near the window.
I feel bad for stereotyping, but I've seen all the loot they took: it's in museum, it's all labelled from where they took it: they aren't even ashamed.
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It's sad Jenny Morrison suffered endometriosis as a young woman. You know what's also sad? When you're violently raped as a young woman, and years later the prime minister of the country continues to hold the man alleged (and widely accepted) to be the perpetrator in high esteem.
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My 15 y.old kid:
“It says on the news that those 160 private school kids were vaccinated ‘by mistake’. We need 3 pages of signed paperwork to get a vaccination at school, but I guess somebody just slipped on a rug at their school, and the vaccination went into their arms.”
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Christmas Eve was just ruined because this local bottle shop owner just accused my 12 year old daughter (who has never been in her shop before) of stealing *a slab of beer* from her shop in the past. My daughter is absolutely distraught and in tears, traumatised.
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Melburnians are scared to go out for their walk, because of the Aryan anti-vax gangs roaming the streets.
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Gladys: 'Our strategy is to ensure people can go about their business with as little impediment as possible.'
Um. It's a deadly pandemic.
Shouldn't your strategy be to ensure people are as not-dead as possible?
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I know I'm technically off Twitter, but a black preacher just mentioned slavery at the royal wedding & the Queen is flinching.
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If you need a new law to allow you to be a bigot towards children in accordance with your religion, maybe your religion is a little bit messed up.
Just saying.
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Christian Porter and Ben Roberts-Smith are the kind of guys who would have flushed Scott Morrison’s head down the toilet in high school, but he still would have hung around and tried to be friends with them anyway.
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Unpopular opinion: Schooling in a public system should be 100% free. Wtf even is this thing where January comes and parents are completely cleaned out for uniforms, bus passes, computers, books and the rest of it anyway. Tax the damn corporations and make state schools free.
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Is it too much to ask just to have members of parliament who aren’t alleged violent rapists, drunk-drivers, or religious fanatics whose best friends are pedophile protectors?
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Oh look, while the Novak saga was going on, the Hillsong cult quietly escaped any penalty for their super spreader music festival. Colour me shocked.
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Don't people who argue that men who kill their ex-partners and/or children wouldn't have done it if they had had more access to their children realise that people prone to violence and/or murder when they don't get their own way shouldn't have access to their children?
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I went to get a drawing framed & asked the framer to centre it, & he mansplained me about how the artist intended the drawing to be off centre & I would ruin it if I insisted on him centering it. So I let him finish, and then said: "I'm the artist. I drew the picture."
#awkward
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I cried when I got the mail today.
I'm 39 years old, have lived in Australia my entire life, and did not dream I would ever see a book like this, in my lifetime.
Welcome to a generation of African Australian writers.
They will hear us roar.
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He said he was in class spluttering “It’s her! It’s the craft lady!” And his English teacher was like: what are you talking about?! Lol. I’m glad he enjoyed the day because I was soooo close to going home. 🤷🏾♀️
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and though we all
would like
to thank you
for humouring us
on this special day
we also need you
to stop killing us
the dishes done
and equal pay
#InternationalWomensDay2019
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The only time I’ve ever met a PM I detested, I did actually smile and tell him I was a big fan of his and had brought a special gift for him, but then after he took it, I stopped smiling and told him it was actually a petition and he’d just accepted it.
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I'm SO thrilled to be able to share that I'll be starting at Melbourne University Arts Faculty in January, as Poet in Residence🥰
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If people are being fined for breaking covid restrictions, the fine should be a percentage of their income. Why should rich fucks be able to go house hunting across the state and just shrug off the fine, while others give up a week’s pay for helping out a family member?
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tell him
there are ribbons
all along the fence
show him
how they shimmer,
in their hundreds
say that
this
is his legacy
and that we all know:
we know
exactly
where he is
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‘I have a daughter’ is the ‘black friend’ of sexual assault denials🤷🏾♀️
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I know I have an ABIA, and also 2 degrees including a law degree. But I just got my drivers licence today at the age of 40, and it was literally the hardest thing I have ever done in my life. It took me over 2 years to learn to drive, but I did it! Go me. I am so proud of myself.
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Saddle the horses. Send messengers far and wide to search the land for the mysterious Egg Boy, whose throw is precise, whose judgement is sound, and whose courage is infinite. For as with Arthur and the Excalibur sword, only he shall lead us out of the darkness.
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Yep, that's Scott Morrison, playing ukulele round a backyard dining-setting with his lovely young daughters to show how likeable he is whilst keeping asylum seeker children in limbo, refusing to lower the age of criminal responsibility, and throwing trans kids under the bus.
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Australian cartoonist going for Serena Williams; Australian 'columnist' going for Greta Thunberg; Australian tv show going for Meghan Markle. Better watch out, or the world might mistakenly think this is a country founded on genocidal racism with a serious misogyny problem.
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They need to strip all public funding from private schools and make literally everything at public schools free, including no school fees, free camps and excursions and free travel and uniforms.
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And then I pack up and leave. Then today, I get a DM from some Grade 7 kid on social media that says “Hi. We studied one of your stories today and then we had to look you up and…this is a really weird question I know, but…did you ever do craft with me when I was little?”😂+
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In the movie version, what happens now is I adopt him artistically as my prodigy, and under my close guidance and tutelage he becomes a famous illustrator, mostly using 3D collage.
But I’m nice, but not *THAT* nice, so I’m just tweeting about it instead.
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My Uber driver: How long have you lived in this area for?
Me: About ten years I guess.
UD: That’s not long, and your English is perfect. How long have you lived in Australia for?
Me: 41 years.
UD: 41 years! How old are you?!
Me: 41.
UD: Oh. Ooooops.
Me: Yes.
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I'm in self isolation with my family tonight, and I haven't been out in ages, and I just want to see how many people on here will wish me happy birthday. It would cheer me up, make my day, and restore my faith in humanity.
Even though my birthday was actually back in October.
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It's embarrassing hearing Australian news announcers saying things like "Many of the signs say Black Lives Matter, a common phrase in America." Black Lives Matter is also a global civil rights movement, founded by 3 African American women. And Black Lives Matter here, as well.
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If you borrowed my books from a library in Australia in the last year, all those little 10c borrows added up to pay 3 weeks rent. What an effort🥳Thank you borrowers and librarians-all. 🙏🏾🙏🏾🙏🏾🥰
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Every time I go on tv, creeps send me messages being like: you're black, and you're fat, and you don't even know what you're talking about. And I'm like yeah, that's pretty much all true. And yet I got on television, and you didn't. So how much of a loser does that make you?
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God, covid is just gleefully leaping from kid to kid in the schools in Melbourne like a leech in a nudist colony. If you don't have contact with schools, you don't know the half of what's happening.
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This is my 4 x yearly reminder to Australian parents to empty your kid's lunchbox and bag tonight, to avoid post traumatic mold stress from biohazardous lunch waste in 2 weeks time.
Check all pockets.
You live with your oversight forever. Believe me, you can't un-smell it.
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If she were a white girl, she'd probably be free and a feminist icon by now.
#CyntoiaBrown
, a woman who was 16-years-old when she killed a man who solicited her for sex, will have to serve 51 years before she’s eligible for release:
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Remember how they told us not to drop out in Year 10, but now all the kids who left at 14 to do apprenticeships own 7 houses?
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What would an innocent man say?
“I want a formal investigation into this. I want everyone who was at the events in question interviewed extensively, and anyone with any knowledge to come forward so the public and the family can have confidence in ascertaining what happened.��
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FFS, just cut the amount of funding to private schools, make religious organisations pay tax & make the rich bastards who run corporations pay back Jobkeeper & pay decent taxes, then give teachers, nurses and other essential workers a decent wage, it’s not fucking rocket science.
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Peter Dutton, June: I'm hoping to show the Australian public my softer more sensitive side, which I rarely got to show in my other roles.
Peter Dutton in July: We're going after teachers, and we will be relentless. They are one of the main dangers in our society.
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Periodic reminder that you can criticise something heinously racist without circulating it.
Increased circulation is generally part of what the flailing second rate creator hoped for when they made it so racist.
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It’s like one of those Hollywood movies where someone displaced as a child has haunting memories of playing in their village that eventually give them the key to their past, except he remembers having the craft table all to himself and a personal craft helper😂. Bless.
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i'm not a racist or anything but I'm scared to eat in white hipster cafes cause they don't vaccinate their kids i bet there's disease on everything and i have a family to think of
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Last year, a very close friend of mine took a fully fleshed out book concept I had talked to them about, and sold it as their book to another publisher. I don't care about the book anymore, cause karma will get them, but I'm angry about the way their duplicity has changed me.
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It's hard to be a Melburnian today. We did not go through what we went through last year "for no reason." There were no vaccines in Australia then. We locked down to prevent people here and in other states getting sick and dying at 0% vaccinated.
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True story: Centrelink was sending me letters for YEARS about a 'debt' I supposedly owed from YEARS ago. I was almost 100% sure I didn't owe it, but finally saved the money & payed it a year ago (a LOT of money). Few weeks, later they deposited it ALL back into my account. 👀👀👀
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Jacinda Arden is a shining light today: she is doing a beautiful, sensitive, powerfully angry job of press-responding, and of galvanising NZ, at a horrific and intensely traumatic time.
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So many people upset that I mentioned the Aryan anti-vax gangs terrorising Melbourne. They need to go and talk to their community about it, and help the gang members assimilate.
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Turns out he’s had these vague recollections for years of sitting doing craft with a random Black lady for years and his parents were like: that literally NEVER happened, it must have been a dream or something. Grandma isn’t around anymore.+
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The older I get, the more I realise that the mother is actually the main character in Muriel's Wedding. 😭
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I’m 100% convinced that Dr Nick Coatsworth is played by Jim Carey.
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Imagine having so much faith in the innocence of an alleged violent rapist that you don't want anyone knowing you bankrolled their legal defence.
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It's pretty telling, governments around the world saying people should go back to work, but 'avoid public transport.' And then being shocked at full trains. Do rich politicians think people just like to catch public transport as a kind of special, but ultimately avoidable, treat?
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This is my 4 x yearly alert to Australian parents to remind your kid to empty their lunchbox & bag tonight. Avoid post traumatic mold stress from biohazardous lunch waste in 6 weeks time.
Check all pockets.
You live with your oversight forever: you cannot un-smell it.
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My advice to NSW people is that no one can see how much Netflix your kids are watching, how messy your house is, or how many times you ordered pizza, so just do whatever the f you have to do to get through this that works for you, and ignore the Judgey McJudgefaces.
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A young man just came up to me at Flinders Street & said "Excuse me, are you Sister Maxine? I'm sorry to bother you, I just wanted to come and say thank you for everything you do for us."😭 💔He was about 20. So many beautiful young black men in the African Australian community.
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Why don’t billionaires just live on a couple million a year and continuously give away the rest of their money? I know it’s a bit naive, but this will never not be confusing to me. Surely giving money to help desperate people would be the most amazing thing to do on earth.
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Imagine if we lived in one of those awful dictatorships & our government endorsed gambling ads on the Opera House;kept kids in prison camps; appointed someone like Abbott envoy for Indigenous affairs; funnelled money to religious schools & interfered with the public broadcaster.
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16 was rude to me yesterday, and then this afternoon he went for a walk and a crow dropped a half-eaten dead sparrow directly on him, and he came back 100% convinced that I made it happen. I told him he’s lucky I didn’t send a vulture carrying a half-eaten ferret.
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If you're not going to ask the male players what it feels like to leave their children behind during a global pandemic, jet across the world, and do hotel quarantine without them, then stop asking Serena Williams motherhood questions at her work press conferences.🤷🏿♀️
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Victorian team patiently staying to answer every single press question, in detail, in plain English, without any sign of panic, impatience or condescension - before Dan says “See ya tomorrow” and they all head off wearing masks is a Communications Masterclass, tbh🤷🏾♂️
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Someone sent me a message saying my lunchbox emptying reminder was too late because their kid’s at a private school & they finish earlier, & I agree that my PSA should be kept equitable, so I suggested they enrol their kid in their local public school so they have equal access.🤷🏾♂️
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A couple walked past as I was finishing trimming the hedge & the man said "Can't your husband help you do that?"
I looked at his partner & said "Aw, he's so cute! He thinks women need husbands!"
And she burst into hysterics until she saw his face, then she stopped laughing😬
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I tipped a busker outside my local supermarket and a little boy was walking behind me with his Mum and asked “Why do people give him money, Mum?” She said: “To show appreciation for the skill and effort that man is putting into creating beautiful music for everyone passing by.”
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I know a lot of folks who read my books can’t afford to buy them, or prefer to borrow, and might feel bad about it. I was just notified of my public lending royalties this period, and they will pay 4 entire months rent. So thank you, to all of you!🙏🏾🙏🏾🥰
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Don't get me wrong, science is amazing and it's great that we can send random stuff to the moon, but - and just stick with me for a moment here - what if everyone had food?
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Prince Andrew: I'm stepping back from royal duties because I cavorted w pedophiles & may also be one.
Brits: Poor chap. Sensible decision.
Prince Harry: My wife & I no longer wish to rely on taxpayers & are seeking normal lives.
Brits: Who the f*ck do you think you are?
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It’s so great young people are getting vaccinated at such a fast rate, but actually, shout out to the parents & carers spending hours initiating and organising the vaccinations on top of everything else they’re doing at the moment. They’re the reason the rate is so high.
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Non-black taxi driver: Where are you from?
Me: Sydney. *quickly puts my headphones in*
Black taxi driver: Sister, may I have your story?
Me: My father was born on the island island of Jamaica, in 1953 at approximately 9.47 pm. It was wet season...
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Just seeing a Black woman in that Oval Office, signing in as VP. 😭How many years before that’s even a remote possibility in Australia.😔
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Jenny Morrison has the same wild eyes and pasted-on smile that Katie Holmes had when she was dating Tom Cruise.
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14: Can I open a new Milo tin?
Me: You JUST opened one the other day!
14: It’s finished.
Me: Jesus. How much Milo do you put in?!
14: A normal tin only has about 4 drinks in it.
Me: ...
14: It’s The Australian Way. Please don’t be mad at me for just trying to Belong.
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Reality show idea: Put The entire Liberal party on the ‘Jobseeker’ and watch them try and survive, in a damp rental, with no private transport, having to meet all their ‘mutual obligations’ and being constantly harassed by robodebt collectors.
Whoever dies last wins.
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Shout out to the tall racist with the blonde ponytail on the door
@Bunnings
West Footscray, who made a beeline for me in a queue of people leaving, asking to see my receipt and no one else's - even though all I had in my trolley was $10 solar christmas lights and a magnolia tree.
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Jim Albo and Penny remind me of my old high school debating team. We looked like mild mannered rookies but then we would get up and casually wipe the floor with the local private & selective school kids, who would be all upset and confused because they never saw it coming lol.
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If you as a producer, host, journalist or editor have been wilfully platforming the views of people like Milo, Jordan, Bolt and Southern, today you have blood on your hands.
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We are legit still putting Army lieutenants and uniformed cops on covid pressers and then complaining that ‘diverse communities are not being forthcoming with information’. If a cop came to my door asking questions, I would never open it, and I have a law degree.
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Great to see Ministers swearing in on the Bible, and on the Koran, and a Jewish Minister sworn in, and SO great seeing Linda Burney sworn in as Minister for Indigenous Australians😍. And also wonderful to see so many Ministers swearing in holding no religious text at all.
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This is my 4 x yearly reminder to Australian parents to empty your kid's lunchbox and bag tonight, to avoid post traumatic mold stress from biohazardous lunch waste in 6 weeks time.
Check all pockets.
You live with your oversight forever. Believe me, you can't un-smell it.
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Deleted this last week because people posted it across multiple platforms without attribution, but a couple teachers have asked for it, so posting it again here in a different form.
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Someone sent me a disgruntled message about my lack of poetry punctuation. Lol.
this is just a note to say
i have used all the lower case letters
forgive me
they were so visually pleasing
so renegade
and so free
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Genuinely I have been thinking all week that something feels different in my day to day - and I just realised it’s not having to hear Scott Morrison’s voice in passing on almost every airwave and station or see him on the tv. I had no idea how much impact that was having.
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I would like to see new outlets in Australia reporting on the lack of accountability for Aboriginal Deaths in Custody alongside the commentary on the Chauvin verdict. Murderers here are still walking free.
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I literally, for years, thought Joe Hildebrand wrote satire. I thought he was like the columnist version of The Chaser. When I found out he was a 'real' journalist, I had an argument with the person who told me that, because I was like "Lol. You think they're *real* articles?"
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For real, seeing Scott Morrison on the news or hearing him speaks has always been unpalatable, but now it literally makes me feel physically ill.
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This is my 4 x yearly reminder to Australian parents: empty your kid's lunchbox & bag tonight (or get them to) to avoid deep, disturbing trauma from biohazardous lunch waste in 2 weeks time.
Check all pockets.
You live with your oversight forever. You will NEVER un-smell it.
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I just saw a very elderly woman at Flinders St Station wearing a ruffled ball gown with her face and hair done at 10am, and I asked her if she was going anywhere special looking so goddamn fabulous, and she said no, she's just going grocery shopping dear, and it made my day.
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