adam
@skank88
Followers
422
Following
551
Media
529
Statuses
3,292
@__neonmoon_ 's fella fucking figure it out. Impervious to the punches of children.
Joined July 2024
Don't wanna be here?
Send us removal request.
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If someone is standing in your way and you say excuse me or pardon me, and they don't move, you're allowed to stab them. It's in the constitution.
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This is an engagement farming post. Please interact with post so I can feel validate and think that you guys like me.
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A lot of you guys like to point out how men suck and a lot of you like to point out how women suck, but the more time I spend on this earth, I feel like both sides aren't painting with a broad enough brush.
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Magnesium is really good for you for many reasons. It's an electrolyte that is vital for life. I recommend you all take the appropriate amount. Also, I'd like to warn you that if you take more than the appropriate amount, you may shit your pants.
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Drop your favorite quote from your old man!
While working with my dad on a construction site
Dad: Come help me with something
Me: (helps him with something)
Dad: Now you can get back to doing what you were doing, which was nothing
Drop your favorite quote from your old man!
I've got two:
"Do it right the first time."
"I guess you'll have to get glad in the same clothes you got mad in."
- Papa Adams
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In case anyone cares, I could probably be convinced to lapse on my principles for large sums of money. Let's make a deal.
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If you wave at another car to turn in front of you and they don't wave back or mouth thank you, you can throw rocks at their car. It's in the Bible.
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@BenjaminABoyce
I've always liked you ever since the evergreen days, but you're really coming out of your shell lately. I'm for it.
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@LizzyStarrrdust
Is this a post about tile work or how fucked up you are? Tile looks good. Sounds like you're cresting the hill. Good work.
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If a woman drinks her own breast milk, is that like a perpetual motion machine? Could she just survive in perpetuity off of her own supply?
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I see so much pain in the world, and I wish I knew a way to help alleviate some of it, but I'm gonna be real, I'm barely keeping it together, guys.
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@CallMeK1123
I just tell broads I'm 70 inches because it sounds like a lot and they can't do math. Plus, it may may confuse them in which direction I'm 70 inches.
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Use this tweet as an excuse to post an old pic where you think you looked hot
Use this tweet as an excuse to post an old pic where you think you looked hot
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I'm judging all of you who don't have a girlfriend. I live in a tent and I have the best girlfriend. So have fun being judged from a guy in a tent.
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I got bitten by a bunch of ants last night, but it's ok because I massacred their whole colony.
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When I was a teenager, I got into anarchy because of punk rock and started to research it at the library. After a bit of digging, I was like, wtf, this is all about property. I want to know about chaos and violence. Now I'm like, property, hell yeah!
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I feel like my above average humor goes entirely to unappreciated. The real ones know what's up.
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Soft boiled eggs are the superior of the portable eggs. I stand firmly on this.
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Babe, are you ok? You haven't touched your calzoneasaurus.
Quédate con quien te haga empanasaurios.
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Sometimes, I'll reread my tweets, and it makes me believe that some of you probably think that English isn't my first language.
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The monsters lair is the appeal.
As a responsible home builder, couldn't they have spent another 5 minutes and picked a spot NOT over a monster's lair to build this place?
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I'm never drunk when I say it.
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Gf: would you date a girl in a wheel chair?
Me: well, I'm dating a mentally retarded girl now. Why not a physically retarded one?
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It is. I'm a constitutional lawyer.
this is not actually in the constitution.
sincerely,
A lawyer, NOT *your* lawyer
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I just looked at my pay stub for some stupid reason, and now I'm having a bad day.
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I'm going to start offering you guys my services free of charge. I'm going to start critiquing all of your tweets so you will know how to be funnier. You're all really lucky to have me.
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If you want more friends, just treat everyone like they are already your friends. If they don't want to be your friend, maybe you aren't a good friend.
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I love seeing when all of the monetized accounts post their winnings just for being my friend.
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If your meat choices were limited to one of the three below for the rest of your life, which would you prefer?
Beef
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Chicken
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Pork
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My ideal man:
-crushes his enemies
- sees them driven before him
- hear the lamentation of their women
My ideal man:
- Smart
- Kind
- Capable
- Has a secret silly side
- Values my input
- Makes me feel good about myself
- Is easy to be around
- Is the kind of person you want on your team
- Enjoys legos, reading and art
- Makes cool stuff
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I was vacuuming out a machine I was working on and stood up and smacked the top of my head on the corner of the machine. I saw stars and at exactly the same time, my shop vac shut off. It wouldn't come back on. Pretty sure I died and non of this is real now.
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I thought this was asparagus
Incredible Tourmaline Crystal from Paprok Afghanistan.
Photo 📷 Muhammad Majid
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I'm going to judge you on how much meat you leave on the bones of your chicken wings.
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Can I come over and stare at you like this?
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I'm not sure if we went to the moon, but I'm sure that the state is capable of making up a lie that big.
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Most people who are assholes are just having a bad day. Just tell them to lighten up or calm down and they will be nice.
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I wish they were called jackal lanterns. It'd be much cooler and more frightening.
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One of the things I don't like about this place is how quick things move. Things go by so quickly that so many you miss the most banger of my tweets.
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I want more followers because I think it's important for people to hear the killer takes I have but I can't do libertarian follow trains. Last time I did that, I ended up mutuals with two fed pedo grannies that tore apart twitter for two weeks. So just retweet this, guys.
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I have no idea why you guys would want to hunt deer. There's whole fields of cows and they just stand around like sitting ducks.
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It's a true indication of a degenerate society that I see so many women posting pics on twitter with their feet censored.
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Every time a politician says, "Let me be very about something," they are about to say some real unclear shit.
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I don't ever tell people a story about something I did and ask AITA, because I already know the answer.
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If I had a giant dong, I'd get a vanity plate that said Shai hulud. I think that'd be pretty vain.
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