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@simulatedsnow
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still going | rebuilding self-trust
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btw if we are mutuals and you are acting in good faith please feel free to roast my takes anytime
@xeixeira146866
please feel free to roast me anytime! I trust that you are acting in good faith :)
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thing I’m pondering today: it actually takes relatively little effort for a thing to become known as “your thing” socially
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so usually when people talk about weight loss, they think about it in terms of “I want to be in X caloric deficit to lose Y lbs per week”
I’ve never seen it framed as “I am going to eat at maintenance for someone of X weight until I reach that weight”
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a lot of the time you don’t even have to be that good at that thing for people to start associating you as the person who does that thing
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e.g. to my tech and tpot friends, trapeze is my thing
but to my trapeze friends, trapeze cannot be my thing, because it’s their thing too. oddly right now my thing to my trapeze friends is trivia lmao
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smart men: this is what I have to offer
bad news for all the women tweeting about wanting smart men
smart men tend to like other smart people
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so yeah I guess the thing I’m leaving out is that it has to be a thing that you can do that *the other people cannot / do not do* in order for it to become “your thing”
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(I went to a trivia night with some of my trapeze friends once and they thought I was really good, and I’ve had 3-4 people come up to me now and say they heard I’m good at trivia)
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@thechosenberg
the leap from “wanting to experiment with threesomes” to “you’re suppressing your true self you’re poly” is astronomical
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and a sign of excellence would be that people who also do the same thing that you do consider that thing to be *your thing*
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the nice thing about being a lowbie is that 15 likes feels like a banger tweet for me
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grieving this morning…. talking to my mom about getting me a cane…. less than a month ago I went to the beach and ran in the sand for 4 hours straight. this is so fucked up.
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@inflammateomnia
my take is that I think he’s strategic and able to simulate outcomes to the point where it can be borderline manipulative, which is a respectable skill (that many technical people want -> admiration) but also extremely drama inducing
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I don’t know how to phrase this correctly but it’s supposed to be empowering
“you can just do things”
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basically, if you want to be X person in your general social circle, it’s relatively easy to do that. however — going from being X person in your social circle to X person in a room full of people competent at X is much more difficult
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@QiaochuYuan
gotta start with the smallest possible executable step, and use the feedback from the experience to determine the next smallest possible executable step. usually you know this step is small enough because part of you may scoff at it.
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I just wanna know, do other people find having a job extremely stressful? like the job itself might not even be that stressful but the expectation to consistently perform?
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and I’m really curious why? it seems like a much better framing to me
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I think the takeaway I wanted people to have from this thread is being missed, so here it is a bit more explicitly
@latentjuice
yes!! this is honestly the takeaway I was hoping people would have from this thread, but it seems to not be explicit — many things are relatively low barrier to entry, and the primary barrier is allowing yourself to be a noob at things
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ok ok final vanity post: so I actually hadn’t flexed in awhile, and holy shit my shoulders / pecs are !!!
this is what happens when you start flying trapeze I guess :P
okay but I feel like my proportions are going crazy
just need to build a bit more muscle
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okay but I feel like my proportions are going crazy
just need to build a bit more muscle
lol omg my shoulders are broader than my hips now, not the flippening i was expecting
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(ofc you then have to continue to eat at that maintenance, but I also feel like that’s a much better way to look at it than a temporary deficit)
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maybe one thing I find helpful about this observation is that it decouples social reward from excellence, as someone who used to strive for excellence because I thought the social reward would scale
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the past few days have been really, really hard for me. I feel so much sadness and loneliness. but I’m gonna keep going. gn <3
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disentangling the two and realizing that social reward is pretty easy to attain allows you to pursue excellence in a skill for the right reasons (e.g. internal gratification vs external praise)
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anyone saying “el*n does nothing for spacex” does not appreciate how challenging it is to create organizations with a high concentration of hyper-competent people with an extremely high level of devotion to the mission
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I am being completely honest for the first time in my life, ever, and it feels good. it’s hard but it’s good.
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would an enlightened person feel the need to claim enlightenment? genuine question
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@latentjuice
yes!! this is honestly the takeaway I was hoping people would have from this thread, but it seems to not be explicit — many things are relatively low barrier to entry, and the primary barrier is allowing yourself to be a noob at things
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on the topic of marriage, I've been asking myself "where is my future husband most likely to live?" in mulling over where I should live, because I have the freedom to live wherever I want
I'll, uh, let you all know if this works
If you want kids, you need to do some serious math about when to end a relationship.
Just 4 relationships in which you date for 1.5-2 years and spend 6 months-1 year grieving/meeting the next person will eat up a decade of your adult life.
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temporary interruption in the scheduled tw*tter break to share: I DID THE THING!!!!!!
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so far I have done 88 assisted pull-ups
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hello new friends! I mostly use this platform to think out loud, share my learnings and progress towards my goals, muse, and search for my future husband c:
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oh! I forgot to share! today I ran for the first time since my autoimmune stuff started in December :)
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I’m kind of glad a few people roasted me for this take — it’s given me some stuff to think about
thing I’m pondering today: it actually takes relatively little effort for a thing to become known as “your thing” socially
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why is it so embarrassing, as an adult, to admit that you don't understand something? seems to counterproductive to learning
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how to accept the passage of time?
up until this year, I felt like I had infinite time to spend. this year feels like waking up from a dream and realizing, hey I’ve already spent the majority of my 20’s. now I’m frequently fretting about aging, which does not seem productive.
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yesterday my friend and I each shared specific things we feel immense shame around on the topic of how we prioritize different parts of our lives, and each of our responses to the other genuinely was “that seems pretty normal” and the shame completely dissipated
sharing what has been stuck inside of you feels liberating, like you just lifted a weight off your shoulders. conversely, keeping things in (emotions, ideas or values you aren’t expressing fully) feels heavy, like there is a wet blanket draped over your ability to express freely.
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being honest allows you to actually be seen and then you feel less lonely :’)
I am being completely honest for the first time in my life, ever, and it feels good. it’s hard but it’s good.
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the thing I did not communicate well here is that I'd imagine doing this incrementally -- e.g. if losing 50lbs, doing this at 10lbs increments and intentionally plateauing until you're used to the new maintenance calories, vs a consistent deficit
@PiquantParvenu
yeah! and it's better for setting milestones -- like I'm going to eat at maintenance for a person 10lbs lighter than me today, and then once you reach that goal maybe chill there for a bit until it's easy, and repeat
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so i found out last night that my brother, who is not on twitter, also knows about the hegelian egirls (via youtube), and im still flabbergasted
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just feels like any progress I make in my life keeps getting sent back to square one. I was finally moving out again, working a full time job, active, seeing friends…. now I’m stuck at home again. I’m not even sure if fatigue will allow me to work.
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ahhh I feel a lot of embarrassment about how much I share on here
it’s hard bc I do get feedback regularly that what I share helps people, and it also helps me get my thoughts in order and solicit feedback
but today I feel like I just realized I’m naked in public 😵💫
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I upheld a boundary by saying “I’m sorry I don’t really want to watch that video right now” I think I’m gonna be sick
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at this point adderall mostly serves to unblock me when there’s specific things that I *want* to do. it does not seem to help me when I *actively do not want to do* something.
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@anonynaut
this is funny to me because I think I opt for “press less on gas” more often than a lot of people when driving :P
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there’s something incredibly romantic about a shared desire to solve problems together
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im so smug right now it’s disgusting
Emmett is a mediator CEO in place to guide OpenAI through the crisis. Emmett and Sam have known each other since early YC — there is no chance that either of them will screw the other over.
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I’m noticing a pretty significant shift in my self-perception over the last couple of days
in particular, my level of self judgment has plummeted, and it’s making it significantly easier to just do things
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EVERYTHING I'VE EVER WANTED HAS BEEN IN FRONT OF ME THIS ENTIRE TIME
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I was born to create and I’ve suppressed it over and over because it makes me deviate from my narrowly-defined idealized version of myself (who was based entirely on maximizing external validation) but it leaks out of me! I can’t help it but it always leaks out!!
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you cannot earn love, and you do not deserve love. however, you can increase opportunities for people to love you for who you are by being who you are.
it also allows you to collect data on how who you are affects others, which can be used as data to decide how to grow
@daniellellecco
in all seriousness I think it is cope, because it puts the onerous of the “single perfect women” problem onto men for having bad taste / lower standards than on the perfect women for some of their shortcomings that may be hindering them
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btw I upheld another boundary following this and now our relationship is better than it’s been in a LONG time
I upheld a boundary by saying “I’m sorry I don’t really want to watch that video right now” I think I’m gonna be sick
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I think I’m going to make it to 1 year at my job (which is in 14 days) without getting fired, which is pretty cool!!
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ok would people actually be interested in a SnowCamp? maybe in like March or April?
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I did another hard thingg
I did something I've been putting off for several months and I feel proud and excited ☺️
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new goal: do 1 pull-up in a month
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it’s incredible how much being with the right person can accelerate you in becoming the person you want to be 🩷
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me: I am going to process my trauma
me, when things start bubbling up to my awareness: ow ow ow this sucks why did I want this 😭
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okay okay I’m going to try something scary right now that I’ve been putting off for a couple weeks
wish me luck <3
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historically I’ve been the pursuer in my relationships (confessing feelings first and asking men out) and it’s largely been a good experience but I dunno it would be nice for my future husband to pursue me
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in another life, I would have really liked just coregulating with you
(but also in this life too)
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looking back, 2024 will be one of the most significant years of my life
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I got pretty far for a girl who was self-sabotaging herself every step of the way
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let’s go let’s go
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for awhile I was a hard no on children. like it was kind of my bit, childfree girlboss.
but uh… friends that was simply me fearing a hypothetical scenario of being rejected by my own children.
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your friend is dating someone who you don't think treats them very well. they're not abusive, but you can tell that your friend is a smaller, less vibrant version of themself around them.
do you tell your friend they should break up? / what's your gender?
yes / female
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no / female
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no / male
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this is the black shirt I didn’t photo last night, this outfit is very back to my fashion roots :p
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so I’d been drinking caffeinated lattes the past couple weeks, with the intention of going back to decaf
but yesterday my favorite coffee shop was closed, and there were some canned cold brew coffees in the fridge. I innocently drank one.
reader: it had 230mg of caffeine
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me at 24 😅
in my nyc-girlboss-trying-to-be-someone-that-im-not era
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the primary upside of wfh that no one talks about is that you can sing while waiting for a build to finish
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today’s realization: I’ve carried shame around not being particularly great at anything, but being good at many things; being good at many things means that I can become great at many things, with less of a barrier to entry than someone who had never done those things
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so I recently found out that adderall is a decongestant so now my “allergies suddenly disappeared after I graduated” mystery has an answer
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