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@sidereumnoxe
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⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀say ⠀yes ⠀to ⠀heaven ⠀, ⠀@halfsovl ⠀ ♥︎ . ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀﹙ ⠀quote⠀bot⠀ 𝄒 ⠀d͟a͟m͟n͟e͟d͟⠀by⠀@starplosions .⠀* * ⠀⠀tweets⠀sporadically ⠀──⠀⠀♱⠀borrowed⠀﹠ ⠀⠀original work⠀╱⠀dm⠀for⠀sources .⠀⠀ ⠀
Joined November 2016
⠀if you’re the sun , i don’t wanna be the moon . the moon’s too far away from you , i’d rather envelop you in the bluest of skies .
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⠀always an angel , never a god . always an angel , never a god . always an angel , never a god . always an angel , never a god . always an angel , never a god . always an angel , never a god . always an angel , never a god .
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⠀i’m not a good person , i’m barely a person at all . but someday i’ll be perfect , and i’ll make up for it all .
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⠀ you touch me and suddenly i feel a little less war torn . i’m not sure what peace is supposed to feel like but i think it might feel a lot like you .
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⠀ i did not mean to be cruel . i swear i am good , i am good , i am kind . i have love inside of me . some place far , far away .
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⠀ you have me . until every last star in the galaxy dies . you have me .
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⠀you collect scars because you want proof that you’re paying for whatever sins you’ve committed .
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⠀still , there’s this terrible desire to be loved . ⠀still , there’s this horror at being left behind .
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⠀you do love each other , .⠀you do ,.⠀and here’s the tragedy ; .⠀it’s not enough .
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⠀you ask me about love and i tell you about violence . i’m sorry . i thought that’s what love was .
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⠀ i need a father. ⠀ i need a mother. ⠀ i need some older, wiser being to cry to. ⠀ i talk to god, but the sky is empty .
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⠀a lover .ᐣ maybe . something tender , anyway . but tender like a bruise .
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⠀ “ i’ll take care of you . ”.⠀ “ it’s rotten work . ” .⠀ “ not to me . not if it’s you . ”.
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⠀you wrap your name tight around my ribs and keep me warm . i was born for you .
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⠀ah , those two . in a fight , they’re lethal . around each other , they melt .
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⠀ and i thought , “ he’s so pretty i could cry , ” pretty boy , with pretty hair and pretty eyes , “ and he’s all mine , mine . ”.
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⠀i’m not a good person , ask anyone who loves me . i never write , i never call . i never think about anyone at all .
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⠀i look at you and i just love you . and it terrifies me . it terrifies me what i would do for you .
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⠀know it’s for the better . know it’s for the better . know it’s for the better . know it’s for the better . know it’s for the better . know it’s for the better . know it’s for the better . know it’s for the better . know it’s for the better .
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⠀i am hungry . i have been hungry . i was born hungry . what do i need .ᐣ.
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⠀i’m terrified that if i try my hardest i still won’t be good enough .
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⠀and he forgives you . dogs are like that , .so loyal . dead dogs are just happy you’re here .
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⠀ “ how will you remember .ᐣ ”.⠀ “ that i love you .ᐣ ”.⠀ “ yes . ”.⠀ “ that’s easy . i can’t help it . ”.
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⠀tell me where to put the anger . ⠀tell me where to put the anger . ⠀tell me where to put the anger .
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⠀i’m not a good person , ask anyone who loves me . i never write , i never call . i never think about anyone at all .
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⠀you’re so polite with your sadness . you don’t want to ruin this for anyone .
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⠀ “ do you always go where you’re not wanted .ᐣ ”.⠀ “ i’ve never been wanted anywhere . ”.
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⠀ there were two reasons i was scared to let people in ; the damage they could do, and the damage they could find .
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⠀he was so young and so doomed . a boy . only 16 . he’d slay his angels and slow dance with his demons . but he loved with all of his shattered heart , and that .ᐣ.well that’s what made him mine .
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⠀i want to go home , i want to go home , but what i mean , what i’m grasping for , is not a place , it’s a feeling , i want to go back . but back where .ᐣ.
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⠀i appreciate your concern . none of this is your fault . it’s me . it’s me and my head . in winter , i collapse .
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⠀ i don’t like my mind , i don’t like being left alone in a room with all it’s opinions about the things that i’ve done .
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⠀father , father . what have you done , done , done , done .ᐣ.you’ve made a monster .
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⠀ “ do you think you weren’t loved enough .ᐣ ”.⠀ “ somewhere between ‘ not enough ’ and ‘ not at all ’ . i was always hungry for love . ”.
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⠀ will you hold my fingers and kiss my alcohol – drenched lips .ᐣ will you love my scars and scratches and my disgusting skin .ᐣ will you love my mind filled with anxiety and woe .ᐣ. ⠀ will you love a monster .ᐣ.
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⠀“ mother .ᐣ ”. i call for her until my throat is scratched and dry , my voice is reduced to a pathetic rasp , and all i taste is the blood she regrets giving me .
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⠀your worst sin is that you have destroyed and betrayed yourself for nothing .
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⠀you will quiver and shake and whisper my name like a fervent prayer .
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⠀ she looked like a religious icon , like somebody you’d sacrifice yourself for .
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⠀they broke the wrong parts of me . they broke my wings and forgot i had claws .
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⠀ whether you come as a lover or an executioner , i am ready to receive you .
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⠀ golden child,.⠀ lion boy ; .⠀ tell me what it’s like to conquer . ⠀ .⠀ fearless child, .⠀ broken boy ;.⠀ tell me what it’s like to burn .
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⠀i’m scared as hell to want you . but here i am , wanting you anyway .
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⠀oh, star child— how long will it take for you to understand .ᐣ no galaxy could ever contain you .
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⠀ this world is really cruel . but even so , i will still love you .
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⠀crawl inside this body , find me where i am most ruined— love me there .
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⠀you are haunted by memories that linger like a softly uttered curse .
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⠀i’ve never been homesick . because there is no place i belong to .
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⠀ but the ache for him is stronger than my anger . i want to speak of something not dead or divine . i want him to live .
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⠀i want to meet you in every place i ever loved . ⠀listen to me— i am your echo . ⠀i would rather break the world than lose you .
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⠀ by touch , by smell . i would know him blind , i would know him in death .
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