selma😜
@selmacashmoney
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a 13 year old commented “cringe” under my tweet again. i don’t know how long i can take this anymore
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54 and I can still get it!
You gotta be a sick individual if you attracted to women over 30
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started my first day at work and i’m having horrible fortnite withdrawals. i genuinely cannot breathe
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imagine being blind and then the first thing you see after your life changing surgery is this
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no no no no no the child marriage defender thinks i’m unattractive oh no oh fuck please be a joke please god
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sorry but does anyone else find it weird how Biden (81) is bullying Trump (78), a literal child. really rubs me the wrong way
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i’m not even exaggerating i think this may legitimately be one of the worst things someone has ever said to me
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this is actually it for me i can’t take it anymore. i’m sorry for climate. i’m sorry for everything. i’m seriously done. goodbye.
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“photoshop” and then this is what i look like naturally…
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Opened the fridge, saw what I thought was sparkling WATER. When I tell you I almost called 911 after taking a gulp of this
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yikes, unfollowing her now. i was a big fan of her huge tits but i had no idea she had a boyfriend
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how US presidents would react to your self harm scars (a thread):
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is it just me or does the far cry 6 dude look like the breaking bad dude 🤯
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my husband was in the middle of a league game and i (bra less) brought him out some chips (without being asked to) as he got a double kill in the bot lane
so how was your day?
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uh look this some guy just sent me on hinge. what a fking weirdo?????😭😭😭
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thank god for the apple vision pro. it actually makes conversations with my wife bearable
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Creep if it were written in 2024😒:
im a woke
im a liberal
what the hell are your pronouns dear
pass the bud light here
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Tried, but didn’t like doing crime. Among Us required killing innocent astronauts in the first minute. Just couldn’t do it.
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@girthmasterr
the girthmaster himself 😭😭😭😭
who will win, wine bottle dick or bomb shelter pussy
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i’m really scared to admit this. i know i’m going to get hate but i don’t want to continue living a lie. i’m not 54 nor 44, not even 34. i’m so sorry to everyone i’ve hurt and tricked. i’m so deeply sorry.
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is this really how we treat our elderly? 💔💔💔💔💔💔
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just ordered the dream burger. paid $20 for a large meal and then they give me an empty fucking tray telling me i have to imagine myself eating it wtf???
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54 and I’m still getting it! Thank you Mr Gravy for the good night😉
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why couldn’t i be her. why couldn’t i be a hot egirl. why don’t men want to buy my feet pics for $500. what am i doing wrong
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wow, just WOW.
@Northernlion
talked about my tweet on stream and he called me an “old hag who should lay off the carbs” and then called me a “whore”. feeling really defeated right now.
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this weird guy just came up to me and told me i’d look “better” with some more burgers in me and some fart clouds coming out of my ass.. are british people usually like this?
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finally, i’ve been waiting for my L moment 😍
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btw it’s cool but i just feel like it’s such a funny thought that that’s the first thing you see and you’re on camera
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*holds hand* this must stop *starts crying* when you hurt yourself you’re hurting me too
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back in my days people used to bow down to and kiss the feet of girl gamers. now because of woke we are nothing to people.
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okay i’m confused. i loaded up overwatch for the first time and the girls are all fully dressed and shooting????
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baby i did waterga- *notices scars* no. no more of this. promise me.
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gooners new year’s resolutions
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the hardest thing i ever had to do💔 my last tiktok ever 😔💔 rip
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literally put my life savings into dogecoin and now i’m poor. why would elon do this to me
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Listening to the Talk Tuah podcast. Had to distance myself to ruminate on the complex ideas brought up by Ms Tuah. Bravo 👏
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okay so i actually didn’t take this tweet seriously at first but why did i just open up animal crossing and isabelle is saying this to me 😟
Hot take
Video games are supposed to be fun. Not lectures about why being a white man is bad.
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*stares* let me ask hilary what we should do about this. no more, okay
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obsessed with donda. already know all the words to donda chant 🙏
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this karaoke place doesn’t have ben shapiro’s rap song. the wokes have won have yet 😭😭
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please stop yelling at me. i’m suffering from the worst hangover and couldn’t stop vomiting and now i can’t stop crying from people being mean. this is the worst day of my life
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“it’s coming home” yeah your mum is coming home to suck my dick
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why you should date a minecrafter:
other guys will refuse to buy you diamonds. minecrafters will mine to bedrock until they find diamonds for you 💖 also they have huge dicks
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