SPIDER-MAN'S LANDLORD
@selfdfens
Followers
9,847
Following
2
Media
264
Statuses
3,422
We're a band. I'm just tweeting as Mr. Ditkovich until we've got a new record to promote.
ÜT: 42.670434,-73.7862
Joined February 2009
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Rap beef makes me jealous because you get to make songs. HC beef is getting a call from an unknown number and a dude says, "it's Tulsa Tom. You're banned from my city, bitch."
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Is there any era of band shirt that when you see a dude wearing it, you think, "fuck. My man really exists outside of time, huh?"
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If one of my bandmates says some shit that gets the secret service on our ass, the most you're getting outta me is "sometimes he wild."
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Sounding bad live is what real FRONTMEN do. SINGER is a different gig.
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I don't think the design is dated, it's just so many men bought it in medium.
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They'll be studying this one in ten years.
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If you're depressed, go for a run. It won't fix anything, but at least you won't be tweeting.
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I don't understand how people are mad at Propagandhi
1. There's nothing in their tweet that says the band is pro-merch cut. Obv.
2. Today's Empires and Supporting Caste rule.
3. "Oh you're punk? Not enough!" is a fucking bit they've been doing for 30 years. AND ARE GOOD AT.
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I'm completely indifferent to the bad local scene-aesthetic metalcore drama. But you got me with the hardcore singer spikes his bandmate's pre-workout with estrogen to steal his girl drama.
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I will not be roped into Blink 182 discourse. I will not be roped into Denny's discourse. I will be dead in 35 years.
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Whenever the discourse arrives at "you're not punk unless you do ___" I always think finally they're kicking me out. I can go make money and wear my Wal-Mart Led Zeppelin shirt.
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My girlfriend and I are looking at homes with some land. She'd like some horses because she's nurturing and I'd like goats because I think you can feed them cans or shirts or whatever.
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Escuela Grind gonna be fine. Roman Candle gonna be fine. Whatever your thoughts, the whole "this band is over lol" tweets don't matter. I'm just shocked EG had a fulltime driver AND tour manager. That's too much van real estate.
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I don't think it's controversial to say The Bosstones are better than The Beatles.
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All it takes to get me on your side is being attacked. Oasis sucks and makes me fall asleep, but I just saw a "Oasis is toxic, here's why" article and now I'm shopping for Oasis branded soccer jerseys on AliExpress.
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I'm respectfully asking it to reconsider.
An asteroid estimated to be 1.2 miles wide will fly by Earth early Wednesday morning, but it's not expected to collide with our planet
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i back ugly ppl w onlyfans bc im a singer who cant sing and i consider this solidarity
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Strangers whose lives you should care about:
babies in warzones
women who flag your car down on country roads
Strangers whose lives it is abnormal to care about:
streamers
the royal family
members of local hardcore bands
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Drug Church and Heart Attack Man in competition for most school shooter lyrics per song.
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Only Europeans and Phish fans believe there's a correlation between length of show and value of show. Anything over an hour is abuse and I'll call police.
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I'm eating dumplings in Tokyo. Got a gym bag full of manga. Do I really weigh in on twitter hardcore discourse right now?
Brief: Scowl are not industry plants. They're kids who lucked into a cool moment. Which is how it's supposed to work. No plan at the outset. Uncontrived.
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Saw a lotta "Albini is great bc he renounced his edgelord past." There's nothing grosser than "he came to agree with me so I like him" as a position. It's religious and condescending. He did his best work while edgy. We didn't get his genius without it. You missed the point.
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when i see someone enjoying their life more than i am i contact their employer
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new tinder match’s bio said “recommend me some new music,” so after a couple messages back and forth i sent her the new
@selfdfens
album, and i get unmatched the next day.
with that being said, is SDF considered “music to scare the hoes to”?
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I get discouraged at the way everyone becomes a politician-apologist this stage in the election cycle. "I mean, she has to say that. She has to play the game."
Stop. It's not your job to run cover for public servants. They do what you want or they don't get your vote. Period.
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Might name a record Venue Is Now a Whole Foods.
Dug up my digital 8 tapes,
@Convergecult
playing Concubine @ the Hideaway in Cambridge 2002 at
@bridge9
@deathwishinc
fest. Venue is now a Whole Foods.
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The 'no ethical consumption' dodge allows people to rationalize terrible behavior with the promise they'll be redeemed by revolution. It's religious thinking.
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I remember watching a Kayne performance and between songs he said he never read a book. He's got my vote.
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The narrative is cops act with such impunity that they don't fear being recorded. But I'm starting to believe they don't understand cameras.
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New Self Defense, SWAT, and DC tracks in my inbox. Thinking about going with a cross-project lyrical theme of "QR code menus are New World Order shit."
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Got hit with a dreaded positive test! We're asymptomatic and everyone feels good. But we can't risk the tour's safety so we're headed home. Big thanks to
@Thrice
for having us on this one and equally big thanks to their fans for being so open to us for so many shows.
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To take your shirt off in a band, you must have a sufficiently great body or a truly stepped-on one. If you take your shirt off with a regular-ass body, the crowd just boos.
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I heard Drug Church not playing Philly is inspiring 9/11 style conspiracy takes. The reason isn't anything interesting. Just the radius clause on Adjacent Fest. We agreed to it first. We'll still be in Philly that day. But as stage divers.
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If I ever say the wrong thing, you can either accept a "my bad" or you can pound salt. It's not 2018 and we're not spending weeks living in the drama of what could otherwise be solved with a "my bad." People getting cancer out here.
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I used to have all sorta beefs, but then one time a dude was coming at me online and I clicked his profile and he had a bad form of cancer and I realized I just don't have that 50 Cent gene where I can shit on a guy in the hospital. Love and light, kings.
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When we play in the vegas sphere the image inside will be a lo-res dat boi jpeg.
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My feed is populated by bad metalcore takes today. If you're a metalcore fan of the Architects generation how does my era of shit sound to you? Is Cave In like listening to Buddy Holly?
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There's still time.
self defense family would have been a very big band if Pat had a british accent
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yo im gonna say some boomer shit and then logoff for the day tiktok is so not funny i get sad in my soul like the shit ppl share is bleak man i feel like doing a hunger strike
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New Drug Church is our Question the Answers.
New Self Defense is our How I Loved You.
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There is literally nobody on this planet more free than Chet Hanks.
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I have never trusted government, corporations, or political movements. I believe only in stacking paper and gaming.
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"Congress shall make no law abridging the freedom of the right of the people peaceably to assemble"
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Grateful to
@Thrice
and always excited to be out again with
@ToucheAmore
Presale tickets available now. Go get'm.
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Just saw Tweets from young people celebrating calling the cops. The logical extension of callout culture.
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I've been so caught up in my war on Fall Out Boy, I failed to pump this. Has everyone listened?
LIFE UNDER THE GUN OUT NOW!!
LISTEN TO IT ON REPEAT AND LET US KNOW YOUR FAVORITE TRACKS
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I don't typically eulogize musicians on here. I just post a Youtube and keep it moving. But Shane MacGowan is as directly responsible for my interest in music as anyone. I took all the Pogues records out of the public library at age 13 and the die was cast. RIP to an original.
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I get why rock bands in the 70s-80s destroyed hotel rooms.
No wifi.
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Venues, there is no reason for a greenroom to be dimly lit. Zero. Nobody is doing coke. Nobody is getting blown. Put some fucking lamps in this spot. It's a place for dudes to apply Tiger Balm to each other's backs, not an opium den.
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Trump sucks, but never allow partisanship to rot your brain so hard you say shit like this.
I love Taylor Swift.
Her music makes me happy.
End of story.
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Think Poppy sounds bad live? Wait'll you get a load of me.
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For your consideration, the worst metalcore take of all time.
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After years of only losing listeners to this Twitter, we finally catch a break.
gonna listen to
@selfdfens
for the first time ever today strictly because their tweets are funny
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Look like three substitute teachers.
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I love my wife and the ten studio albums Rush released between 1977 and 1991.
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Being in a band is crazy. It's strangers speculating on your life like it's stock futures while you wait for your own personal Joker to pop out and make you their torture project. All so you can earn less than a substitute teacher.
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Thought I really liked Xiu Xiu until I watched a Youtube doc about them that used the term "art pop" 200 times. Now I'm buying a truck and bullying anyone smaller than me.
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I started work at the shit factory and found every night I'd come home smelling like shit. This discouraged me, but I've always dreamed of working at the shit factory so I guess I'll devote my life to it.
16 former employees describe ‘THE TONIGHT SHOW’ as a “pretty glum atmosphere” where they were belittled & intimidated by their bosses, including Jimmy Fallon.
Employees said they were afraid of Fallon’s “outbursts” & his erratic behavior.
(Source: )
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A venue with less than 10mbps wifi is not a venue. It's a loud bar for ugly people.
A hotel with less than 10mbps wifi is not a hotel. It's a drug house with delusions of grandeur.
A home with less than 10mbps wifi is not a home. It's a prison in a low-income state.
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Everyone should experience a minor social death. It inoculates you, because you realize "oh, right, I can always close the computer and get a job in HVAC."
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I know mystique is a thing some people value in musicians. But you gotta let the goofy self-serious thing go. Every band eats seed oils and farts in the van. There is nothing arcane or unknowable about music played through amplifiers recorded in professional studios.
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I dunno. I'm curious to hear both sides on the 'why do police stationed at high schools need grenade launchers' question.
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Steve Albini and Steely Dan equally relevant to anyone under 40.
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Maybe it went right. Fuck your narrow view of art.
A gender reveal party in Brevard County, Florida, went wrong and sparked a 10-acre brush fire, CNN affiliate WESH reports
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I usually write lyrics in the studio bc everything I write at home sounds like fucking Blink 182 to me and then I think about throwing myself in a woodchipper and orgasming as my brain is shredded because I'm that happy to die.
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Because I don't like weed, any criticism I would level at Seth Rogan seems like weed-hate. But anyone who is into ANYTHING on that level is annoying. It's like dudes with Twitter names CurrentlyMoshingToHatebreedTerry or XVXgenderisazionistlieXVX. Relax, man. I just woke up.
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Labels, booking agents, and publicists have bemoaned how off-putting I've been on social media. And I get it. But when I see some of the replies normal bands get... yo. A self-selecting audience is dope.
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Self Defense and Drug Church are both writing records now and I hope between them I'll have my final words on a tired topic. This stuff makes me sad to think about, and maybe I've done some good work sad. But I would prefer to sing about family or nature.
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I saw someone online say I've become very one-note in my lyrical content. [Fitting as I am a one-note vocalist.] He's right in the respect that I've been fixated on a topic for a few years. Community, and specifically the way we build it just to hurt each other.
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Thinking about the harmless TikTok beanie kid opening twitter to see "looks like he beats women lol" and "high key abuser look imo".
Close the app, brother. Go for a run. They'll shift to a new dude tomorrow.
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America's got TUI fever. Just watching the videos I'm running a temp of 200°!
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Twitter attempting to cancel Noam Chomsky for aligning with classical liberalism is proof-positive nobody has read him.
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I heard all these people died on ventilators. Their sacrifice will not be forgotten. I party for THEM.
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I just tested negative for covid antibodies. Which seems impossible given how irresponsible I've been about this whole thing.
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"This one is called... Conceived! Through An Act! Of Violence!"
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WHERE IS PLANE THAT HIT PENTAGON ALSO WHERE IS RENT
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When Hydra Head was really the thing, we played with dozens of bands that looked like this.
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