Toast
@seagrapejelly
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Sometime scientist. Politics/military/foreign affairs. Sweary. Single mum, 2 kids, 3 dogs, 2 jobs. Too much education, too little sleep. Not that kind of Dr.
Joined January 2017
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呪術廻戦
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My ma, doubtfully: Don’t suppose you want this, I’m throwing it away.
Me: a bag of scrap wood?
Her: oh, no it was some toy that your great grandfather made for your gma but it’s in pieces
Me: hand it over
Fun Sunday project for me & the boy. Over 100 years old, I guess.
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This is the face of a Blitz who jumped onto the kitchen counter and stole five (5) spiced buns that were on the side cooling
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The only email I get that I'll happily sit down and spend a good 10 minutes on is
@DanRather
's Steady newsletter. It's worth the read every week. If you're not getting it yet, you're missing out.
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The coolest bit is a tiny scrap
of metal I found in the bottom of the bag with my grandmother’s name stamped on it that the old nail holes told us was meant
to be attached to the roof
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@j_cutting
This is the kind of thing that everyone who travels to certain countries gets warned about but is rarely mentioned in the US. Thanks for being open about it.
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Parent shaming like this pisses me off. This guy has 2 hands. He has FIVE toddlers. Wtf is he supposed to do? Safe kids >>> out of control kids.
At all stages of parenting (especially this one) most people are just out there doing the best they can. Give a little grace.
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Wouldn’t be a trip to the UK without a peek at the ‘American section’ in the grocery store
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Oh my god stop me. Someone has just offered me baby peacocks. (please let them be called chick peas)
Yes, I know how loud they are. Yes, I know what Blitz will think.
Yes, I know what the neighbors will say.
But but but Disco Chickens, fam!
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Got a memorial service/wake this afternoon, dress code: bright colors. Green or flowers?
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@mama_c6
Happy Wednesday! I went to a work party last night. Came out and heard a tiny noise from underneath: 7 kittens and mama in the engine! Took a while and a lot of slipping around in mud to grab all their hungry little selves
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Yes, excuse me, Sir, can I help you? Why are you in my shower?
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Morning friends, and congratulations for making it to Tuesday!
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Me, getting ready for work, bothering absolutely nobody
The girl: Mother, you look like a raspberry in that dress
Who raised this child?
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I had a long standing friend (I was maid of honour at her wedding) come to visit me when her boys were a bit younger than this. The kids were a *handful*. Both she and her husband did this to their oldest during that trip. Told her what I thought and never spoke to her again.
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My submission for the ‘most ridiculous injury’ award is caused by popcorn kernels flying out of the air popper and adhering their burning little selves to the skin on the inside of my elbow. Wtf.
I’m making an official complaint to the Popcorn Authority
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This man shouldn’t have been in charge of a goldfish let alone actual human beings who had to do what he said
Michael Flynn declares that "the second coming of Adolf Hitler, Joseph Stalin, and Mao Zedong combined is Barack Obama."
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Morning! What do we all have planned for the weekend, my lovelies?
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Today I got Tedster a toy and didn’t give it to him because we went swimming as soon as I got home. After dinner he stood by the counter and barked at the bag until I remembered
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Just permanently banned my son’s oldest friend from our house for telling my (gay) 11yo daughter he doesn’t like gay people and then calling her a f*g. I am RAGING.
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‘Tis officially the season folks. Good luck out there and don’t get sidetracked by Christmas tree farm owning single dads with adorable 6yo daughters
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Every family had at least one of these going on in previous generations
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Lmao
A Ukrainian soldier on the frontline plays the American National Anthem for Russian soldiers. The Russians react with agitation, escalating from gunfire to firing an RPG round at the Ukrainian position. News of American aid has further exacerbated tensions among the Russians.
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I just heard a bang from the pantry and went over to find this on the floor. It appears to have flung itself off the shelf and autoeviscerated?
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I just tasted this for the first time and it’s so weird. Like skinless marshmallows.
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Got home tonight and this perfect baby tree boa was hanging out on the gate
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Morning ! As I head out to do my Saturday chores, I’m basically heartbroken that this never took off.
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Omg this is the worst thing I’ve ever seen who shall I buy one for
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The Girl child’s Christmas list: Excel spreadsheet with description, average prices, ‘further notes’ and order of priority.
The Boy child’s Christmas list: Uhhh…idk…a sword or something?
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There are probably things under my seats I haven’t seen in years
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The hermit crabs in my garden love the patch where the dishwasher drains, so I made them a little chill spot and it’s quite the happening place this evening
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78.3% of stories about the Bermuda Triangle arose from people being dumb enough to even think about fucking with this cat.
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Morning! It’s Friday and I know some of you want this, so here’s a weekend project
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We’re moving and I just found the kids have thrown out a bunch of their (estranged) dad’s stuff. Do I let them junk it or quietly retrieve/put away in case they want it later?
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When I think about how much I love bread, I realize how lucky it is that I also love my rower
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