What an honor, I’m feeling absolutely blessed.
#2
tastes just as sweet as the first. Shout out to the real hero Meredith for keeping that little fella tucked away until after the victory.
#AllGloryToGod
#themasters
Just watched an absolute lard of a human being throw a Hershey wrapper out their window. I picked it up, chased her fat ass down, and personally handed it to her. Not today tubby, not today.
The return of winter only means one thing; the return of my gripe with public heating. Naturally, when the weather drops we dress accordingly. So someone explain to me why any sane citizen would heat a public building to a scorching 72 degrees when I’m wearing khakis and a jacket
Thanksgiving appetizers are really the true test of your will power. You haven’t eaten all day so you can go absolutely buck wild come dinner time, then outta no where there’s a cheese plate and shrimp cocktail eyeing you down like a lonely drunk girl at 2 am on a friday night
Every time I buy one of these I wanna shoot myself in the face, yet in one week to I’ll be back again to buy another. Well played big name tobacco companies, I don’t know how you do it but I’ll get the best of you one of these days.
Doctors tried to pull a fast one on me. Went in for my annual check up and they hit me with the old “you need your meningitis shot”. The finger prick was just adding insult to injury. I put on a brave face and took it like a champ tho. I deserve a blowjob after that performance
There’s always that one kinda hot somewhat manly looking chick on
#sharkweek
that you can’t tell if you wanna shag or have a catch in the backyard with
When
@scottscheffler
won
@TPCSawgrass
Sunday his 88 year old grandmother had walked all 72 holes of the tournament.
Why is it that seeing Mary DeLorenzo walk 16 miles is so inspirational?
Because seeing what a true fan does is uniquely motivational.
@Streeet_Dog
Thank you Dr. , when I beat these amateurs the purse will be given directly to Mr. Cooley to keep his black ass in Providence where it belongs
First time keeping a legitimate score over 18 holes and I broke 100. 98 is not bad, but definitely could’ve done better. I know 0% of the people who will see this give even half a shit about my golf score but I physically cannot stop myself from tweeting that I broke 100
@thepackage6969
@Yahurrrrd
Listen fellas my mind was elsewhere. Like you Chad, I also gave up sex for lent. I was just thinking about going home and banging my smoking hot wife the entire tournament .
The Falcons and the Warriors choke-jobs were bad, but not enough people talk about the Authority blowing a 3-1 lead to team Cena during the 2014 survivor series
@mancheeetah
It’s a shame. Kids have it too easy. When I was a kid I was scraping the aluminum off gum wrappers and rolling them up with ungrinded nugs cause we were 14 and didn’t know any better