Nathanael Beasley
@savedavenger
Followers
1,583
Following
875
Media
1,154
Statuses
8,985
Sales Manager. Husband and Dad. Called to serve. But I'd rather tell you who Jesus is. —— Tweets about church life from a layman’s perspective and nerdy stuff.
Eternia
Joined April 2012
Don't wanna be here?
Send us removal request.
Explore trending content on Musk Viewer
Rogan
• 826419 Tweets
برشلونه
• 757524 Tweets
Beyoncé
• 695938 Tweets
Hybe
• 609315 Tweets
CWR On ONE BKK Stage
• 250252 Tweets
SB19 ANIMBERSARY CONCERT
• 224826 Tweets
Fyang
• 221300 Tweets
CONSTRUCTIVE DREAMSCAPE 1
• 138225 Tweets
AioonMay Be Together
• 121163 Tweets
FY RECAP BLANK SS2EP5
• 116846 Tweets
国民民主
• 62426 Tweets
FULL TIME
• 59346 Tweets
TXT SANCTUARY PREVIEW
• 53103 Tweets
#UFC308
• 53006 Tweets
Navy
• 36872 Tweets
石丸さん
• 33790 Tweets
石丸伸二
• 33634 Tweets
早じまい
• 24251 Tweets
経費節減
• 23066 Tweets
Southampton
• 21119 Tweets
#محمد_بن_سلمان
• 19409 Tweets
Shaq
• 18796 Tweets
#ولي_العهد
• 16275 Tweets
Brentford
• 14743 Tweets
마드리드
• 14542 Tweets
Brighton
• 14342 Tweets
Leal
• 14193 Tweets
Ipswich
• 12592 Tweets
Pinned Tweet
Wanted to let everyone know I am now available to book for public speaking engagements!
For $100 and a Lego set, I’ll read any of my tweets publicly. Buy me suits and I’ll even help cover up your sins!
Sunday services, Wed nights, youth groups, wedding, and public trials.
8
0
33
I hate this language when a pastor has an affair.
“He fell”
Bro, what did he trip on? His own unbuckled pants?
493
4K
30K
Look, if a pastor cheats on his wife: He should not be in ministry.
It’s time to work in the private sector.
I do believe he can be forgiven and restored to church fellowship.
But if you crashed the company car, we ain’t giving you the keys again.
53
171
2K
Alright, how are these pastors finding all this time to have an affair?
I got two days off and I barely any have time to do my hobbies, do maintenance around the house, spend quality time with my son, and argue with strangers on the internet.
How do they do it?
112
85
2K
I once administered the “Rebekah test”.
My wife ordered me McDonalds and not only unwrapped it for me, but chewed it and spit it down my throat like a bird.
Nine months later, our son was born.
⛔️Trigger Warning ⛔️
I want to share a story about when I gave a girl the “Rebbeca Test”
A while back, there was this single mom at my church. She was relatively young and attractive at the time, a little older than me.
Her baby was ADORABLE. I love babies anyway, but she was
680
38
707
38
39
904
Fundamentalists created a culture where men are always looking women up and down to check if their dress is “right”.
They were literally ogling women all day long in the name of “modesty”.
She’s not making you “stumble”, you are being a creep.
32
76
693
Dudes on here are making jokes about Joe Biden being too old to run the country but agree with everything John MacArthur says.
77
28
532
Listen, if you are having thoughts about cheating on your wife - go talk with a friend, pastor, or counselor.
This is a premeditated act, usually accompanied by lying and manipulating.
We have to get ahead of these sins and we need others to show us our blind spots.
17
32
489
I will now use a Fundamentalists hermeneutic to show you from the Bible (misapplying verses) that eating McDonald’s is sinful.
No Christian should ever been seen in one!
30
42
484
In Bible college, a group of guys passed around a petition to the whole body of men, asking the staff to do more dress checks on the women.
Why? Because they were noticing some of the girl’s bodies & making them stumble. Therefore the rules needed to tightened.
Rules for ref:
Fundamentalists created a culture where men are always looking women up and down to check if their dress is “right”.
They were literally ogling women all day long in the name of “modesty”.
She’s not making you “stumble”, you are being a creep.
32
76
693
180
60
471
King James Onlyists HATE this one simple question:
53
20
413
Guys who label everything “effeminate” are insecure about their own masculinity.
35
30
393
Oh, so I have to vote for one of the pro-abortion candidates or I am “in rebellion” against God.
Okay, Josh Howerton. 🙄🙄🙄
135
16
359
John MacArthur’s lawyer pleading guilty to lying about election fraud really just sums up the state of Evangelicalism.
13
32
319
1st of all: Hilarious.
2nd: if you invite Mark Driscoll to your platform you already have 0 discernment.
3rd: He knew what he was walking into. This was a stunt.
4th: Mark didn’t blast it for being a gross misuse of church funds and audience. He was more mad that it was “gay”.
Megachurch has strip-show-like performance at men’s conference. Guest speaker Mark Driscoll spoke out against it and was kicked off stage.
Unbelievable that any church would allow this. Reason
#538
not to attend a megachurch.
#ChristIsKing
@pearlythingz
@sovereignbrah
@scrowder
809
671
3K
56
12
283
Fundamentalists will say “music styles or beats can be evil” and proceed to give zero scripture to back that up.
58
9
214
I gotta be honest with y’all.
Since I switched to teaching from an ESV, my lessons are much shorter since I don’t have to spend half of the lesson explaining the verses.
44
7
194
Alrighty. You want a 18 year old to attend your unaccredited Bible college for $10K a year to earn a degree that can only get them work in a subset of a splintered denomination?
Scam.
51
6
188
Not once has the Holy Spirit instructed a preacher to speak a sermon against a woman wearing pants.
23
12
181
It’s not sinful for a boyfriend and girlfriend to hold hands or kiss before their wedding day.
Yes, some Christians actually believe it is.
41
5
178
If you read this far, this was obvious satire. You can twist any scripture to promote any bias you choose, whether it be against genres of music, liquor, or anything else the Bible doesn’t explicitly call sinful.
4
5
177
So now you have to struggle with the fact that when Steven Lawson preached a sermon condemning those he disagreed with, he was also messing around with a woman three times younger than him.
20
20
174
Wondering what Christian Twitter (big Eva) thinks about my new glasses and scarf?
37
2
167
@NicholasPas5
@SycloneofKhaos
MAKE WAY TO START THE REVOLUTION - LET LOOSE AND EVERYTHING WILL BE ALRIGHT
1
3
160
@TF_Moments
Derrick was the first cartoon creator I saw really interacting with his fans. I doubt we will see a team with the same love and passion that the Animated team had.
4
3
153
Women having the right to vote is good, actually.
29
10
160
Friends, if your church hires a young married man for ministry, you are not getting a two-for-one deal.
If his wife is not on your payroll, she is not obligated to work full or even part-time for the church.
She may volunteer as much, or as little, as the Spirit leads her.
13
6
143
@ComicGirlAshley
Man, Greg Land sucks…
Still a great moment! Infinity was a great crossover.
1
0
136
@WomnOfValor
Ya know, had they not drawn attention to it, I never would have noticed the dress.
Fundamentalism creates a hyper-sexualized culture that’s always looking women up and down.
2
4
135
@WomnOfValor
My mom’s church had a guy get up and say “I didn’t wanna preach on this, but I feel like the Lord wants me to” and spent 50 minutes ranting about pants.
Anyway, he’s currently awaiting trial for 30ish accounts of minor abuse.
3
10
130
And to make sure I’m being 100% clear.
These above rules were already in place by the administration.
The male students were asking for even more enforcement of these rules!
8
1
124
#ComicThatMadeMeCry
Megatron finding a monument to his evil deeds. Each flower represents every life he has directly or indirectly taken. Great series by
@jroberts332
#mtmte
#transformers
5
40
120
Every lady was dressed beyond modest. But guys were still “noticing”.
We had a student body with zero self control of their eyes and minds so they blamed the women.
A confession of a broken culture.
I might have the petition somewhere, but here’s proof that this happened
2
6
126
I love that these dorks are trying to tell us to “reform the west and recover its glory” but can’t even work through a zoning dispute without whining on social media.
9
4
113
@AdamLanceGarcia
@SamWitwer
Oh man, just wait til you hear what happens when there’s thunderous applause.
2
1
106
Things I’m legalistic about:
Pastors or speakers wearing a football jersey while they preach or teach.
I can’t give you an exact verse for it, but it bugs me.
23
1
103
Hot take, but just because your church has a Sunday or Wednesday night service, does not mean you are obligated to go to all three.
22
3
104
Since
@Rgallaty
is catching flack for having fun in church, I watched the whole sermon.
It was phenomenal. Great message, Biblically sound.
Check out this great clip from immediately after the illustration.
In case you missed it, this is me unveiling a techno song I created while dancing with glow sticks
@longhollow
this morning. Here’s a link to the song I made during COVID:
63
4
115
15
11
99
2. McDonald’s burgers are not in scripture. Jesus ate bread & fish. In Daniel, only fruits & veggies were accepted by the Babylonian captives.
So we infer the biblical principle that you may only eat bread, fruits, vegetables, and sometimes fish found in the Middle East. 🥖 🐠
2
2
90
Also, Lester Roloff actually believed a lot of this. So it’s not as satirical as I would like it to be.
Real Christians enjoy Wendy’s! Hot, juicy, and OLD FASHIONED just like my old time religion!
6
1
84
I attended an IFB church with a friend last night.
They sang conservative music, used the KJV, and preached the Gospel.
I enjoyed it.
6
2
83
Straight up, you know what would be the most helpful topic at a Christian singles conference?
How NOT to be weird.
17
3
81
1. Gluttony is a sin. We know that Americans are insanely overweight and fast food is the
#1
contributor. Therefore because people cannot control their appetites in moderation, All fast food must be sinful.
2
3
81
@PerfInjust
So Thomas lied and y’all slandered
@jacobhuneycutt_
@roddreher
and a whole bunch of other people who decried his obvious racism.
The craziest part is: Yall still won’t denounce kinism.
2
2
72
Remember, the application is just as important as the scripture
4. McDonald’s is worldly. One of the tv ads has a man with long hair, and we know that Paul, very explicitly forbad men from having long hair.
Would you eat at a sinner’s house? No way Jose!
6
2
76
@WomnOfValor
Two questions:
1. How was he “put into” that position? There should have been a woman in the church who could address her lovingly.
2. Who was talking about it to become a huge issue?
I looked at his profile after typing the above and realized he’s not a serious person…. 🙄
4
1
73
3. Pork is forbidden. There are dozens of old testament verses teaching followers of Jesus (who wouldn’t be born for another 2000 years) to abstain from pork. McDonald’s sells bacon cheeseburgers, which is a clear violation of scripture.
🐖
1
2
73
Dudes say “the Bible is clear”, but are not greeting each other with a Holy Kiss. SMH 🙄😙
16
6
70
5. McDonald is sensual. Have you ever seen a person eat a french fry without saying “mmm” 😋
I know you have and you would be lying if you said you did.
1
2
69
I once told a church leader that I was struggling and not enjoying the ministry anymore. I asked what was wrong with me.
He told me, “maybe you just need to do even more.”
I burned out shortly after.
17
1
71
@scottjdotson
Yes, I frequently discuss issues of biblical modesty, self control, and abuse in church.
The more we discuss it, the more pressure there is to fix the culture.
Could we prevent the next David Hyles, Josh Duggar, or Jack Schapp incident?
1
0
69
KJV onlyism always falls apart on this question:
Where is the perfect Spanish translation?
19
1
70
So the King James Bible only discussion is happening again.
Unsurprisingly, no KJVO has attempted to answer Dr John R Rice’s question.
So stop approaching others about it.
14
3
65
Finally, we must have a fence to separate us from McDonald’s before it gets into our churches. Could you imagine the stain on the holiness of the pulpit if all of our Fundamentalists preachers were fat?
God would not be pleased!
1
3
67
What if a man never marries?
What if your spouse dies young and you never remarry?
What if your spouse has health issues that complicate sex?
Self control and chastity isn’t just for youth group.
This isn’t any different than that preacher saying “a man’s a man” to rapists.
In his book "How to Exasperate Your Wife", Doug Wilson wrote:
Question: “I am beset by sexual temptations. Does God have a solution for me?”
Answer: Yes. The love of a good woman who is willing to make love to you for the rest of your life.
I fixed it for you.
39
60
740
6
5
65
This is a warning:
Pastors who encourage church members to never befriend or venture outside their church world are building a cult.
Even worse, they shun former members over a minor theological or preferential difference.
We need shepherds, not slave drivers.
1
7
65
Okay so if Im reading this right - some of the Reformed guys think Jesus hates most people.
If that’s the case, we do not worship the same Jesus.
13
3
67
Them: We don’t need a modern translation! We can understand the King James just fine!
Also them: Jesus’ wine was grape juice. 🍇
14
2
65
It is possible that a lot of the churches beating their chests about opening on Christmas, may have to close due to weather.
Ironic.
7
2
65
🧵 Another thread on missions:
The deputation model of raising support for missionaries is brutal and often abusive.
Let’s look deeper…
Reports indicate an average missionary will need $60,000 a year on the field. This is a lowball number.
29
10
63
2
3
62
This is the opposite of
@BadSermons
This is an IFB pastor calling for accountability in his church and the movement against abusers.
More of this, please.
6
8
59
I gotta get this out of my system. Forgive me.
Not every church needs a choir.
Not every church needs a worship team.
Not every church needs a piano.
The music should reflect the local culture and taste of the congregation.
9
1
58
@maynard_clay
All they had to do was teach these dudes self control.
Would not have needed to twist verses. SMH 🤷♂️
2
0
56
@TF_Moments
These two should have been the human focus. Whole movie could have existed without Sam
3
1
56
Every Sunday a Matthew E Pierce email gives me whiplash.
1
3
58
The whole thing is a circus and there’s multiple clowns.
Literally all of the worst parts of evangelicalism. Narcissistic pastors, stupid theatrics, lack of the Bible or Gospel, and blatant hypocrisy.
Jesus ain’t gonna be near anything going on here.
9
0
57
Tom, one of these people is not even a Christ follower.
It's revealing to see BigEva & BigEva Adjacent folks discounting
@megbasham
's book before it drops tomorrow. When you hear the dismissive bleats ask yourself if those folks are more reliable judges than MacArthur, Baucham, Butterfield, Hemingway, Metaxas, Deace, Limbaugh, et al
99
46
488
4
0
57
1
0
50
I’m in the SBC, not the IFB world anymore, so I try not to talk about it much.
In the last four years, I’ve seen a lot of positive signs of growth among people in that movement.
But y’all need to understand that once a month or more, an IFB reaches out to me for help.
12
0
55
1
0
50
“We live in unprecedented times, the culture has never been this bad for Christians”.
BRO. Who do you think the Apostles were writing to?
People were eaten by lions for fun. Soldiers were having their way with young men. Christianity was punishable by DEATH. It was evil.
6
5
52
I’m gonna double down here.
If the best part of Bible college is “you got to work in their bus ministry”, you could have moved to the church and done that for free.
If the academics could have been Sunday school notes, you got scammed.
If you mad, ask if these shoes fit. 👞
11
1
49
@LEGO_Group
The “no original boxes” were harmed disclaimer was for me. I was ready to fight. 😂
1
0
51
Might be controversial: The vast number of churches in the Bible Belt isn’t a sign of spirituality, it’s a sign of consumerism.
Some congregants love their church more because it fits their preferences and cliques more than it’s consistency to the Bible.
5
2
50
You know what’s worse than being an unpaid intern at a church?
Paying to attend an unaccredited Bible college where the courses are no deeper than a Sunday school class.
And you are still an intern. You are just paying to be there.
17
4
51
Someone check on this man’s congregation and figure out why he hasn’t been dragged out of the pulpit.
⚠️⚠️
When you go to Pigeon Forge, sit in mall parking lot, you'll find more women with shorts on than pants & dresses put together.
If you dress like that & you get r🅰️ped & I'm on the jury, he's gonna go free. I'm right. A man's a man.
#BadPreacherClips
Pastor Bobby Leonard
183
37
133
12
1
52
@FlintDSpencer
Is it just me or have the arguments against Christianity been worse in the last two weeks?
3
0
48
@BaptistNetwork
Where is the section complaining about churches that do not use the KJV?
Seriously, Y’all are literally just independent fundamental baptists at this point.
Please split off so you can start eating each other instead of the normal Baptists.
1
0
50
Yeah that’s just racism.
7
3
49
Psalm 12: 6,7 is not about KJV or even the Bible.
In context of the psalm, David cries out to the Lord to protect His people.
You can trust the Lord to keep his promises. But you cannot make up new promises to fit your agenda.
That is literally adding to Scripture.
6
6
49
Oh we are doing “dress standards” again?
A suit and tie is not modest apparel.
It absolutely draws attention to yourself.
18
1
47
More and more I see from this Reformed camp makes me think they are just Calvinist Independent Fundamental Baptists.
Kent Stainback, 2023: (elder at Steve Lawson’s church)
"The worship looks worldly. The churches are organized in a secular fashion. The preachers dress like they're going to work out. And the music is like going to a concert.”
“And the messages are worldly, all sandwiched in
19
2
31
21
2
48
I’m gonna lose a bunch of followers. Things that aren’t sinful:
Contemporary Christian music 🎼
Movie theaters 🎥
Women wearing pants 👖
Anyone who disputes this is adding to Scripture.
10
0
44
If your “biblical” position requires me to read a music theory book from the ‘50s and not the Bible, your position is not “biblical”.
1
0
47
