Samrat Singh
@samratsingh23
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5,308
Following
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555
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Me on Shark Tank India - my idea is to make a better app for Sony Liv
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Nobody has messaged me on Signal yet it's exactly the level of privacy I need in life
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Hi sharks my idea is to create a new city with bangalore weather delhi food and mumbai people
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I love bombay because today my auto overtook a lamborghini stuck in traffic on linking road and said bekaar itna kharcha karte hai log batao kya fayeda hua
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Jis bhagwan ne BeerBiceps ko Cannes bhej diya usne mere liye bhi kuch toh socha hi hoga
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Me after adding dominos oregano and chilli flakes to my maggi
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20 year olds on LinkedIn be like 5 time founder, Ex-Flipkart, Ex-Ola, Ex-Swiggy, Ex-Udaan, Ex-CureFit, Ex-tra nahi ho gaya?
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Boys discuss gangs of wasseypur for 4 years and call it engineering
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Breaking - Whitehat Jr sues 7 year old for saying aaj class mein kuch samajh nahi aaya
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A bombay broker once told me that this is a sea view apartment just that over the years many buildings have come up obstructing the view but the flat still faces the sea i just stood there and saluted him 🫡
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Normal life - Thank god this ticket got confirmed
LinkedIn life - Really proud to share that I have been selected in the 50 Most Confirmed People in 2nd AC List by IRCTC. Thank you IRCTC, my agent and the people who cancelled for their support.
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Elon musk tweets - have a good day
Britannia stock - gains 300%
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If your founder says mobil instead of mobaeel your valuation automatically increases by 5x
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Disney movie idea - someone frees all the huskies in Bandra and takes them back to Siberia
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My wife is in korea so obviously i am sitting at home and singing chura ke dil mera korea chali
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I don't have children but I have bought Whitehat Jr ka plan because main aur ad nahi dekh sakta
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Hi sharks mujhe spotify premium ke liye 119 rs chaiye
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I can't believe Vir Das launched a beer and didn't call it Beer Das
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Men used to go to war now they make threads on Axis Magnus credit card
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If my Whatsapp chats got leaked it would be 500 pages of sorry for the delay in getting back this week has been slightly crazy
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In Punjab we don't say "let it be" we say "karwali bezzati?" and I think that's beautiful
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AP Dhillon implies future will have Telangana Dhillon also
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A group of 2 or more people in Bandra is called a podcast
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At this point TVF has so much school college exam content that they should qualify as edtech
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Atomic habits teaches you the habit of telling everyone that you're reading atomic habits
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If you put fairy lights alexa starts playing Prateek Kuhad automatically
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Zomato Gold in 2050 - restaurant hands over ownership to you after every meal
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Basically Imtiaz Ali is creating the Marvel Universe of fuckbois
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Saw a JD asking for 10+ years of OTT experience. Forwarded to Reed Hastings. Wishing him all the best.
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Hi sharks my idea is to launch a marketing campaign without using tanmay bhat
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Starting a weekend activities group for adults jinke saare dost have moved abroad pls join
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Me - goes on Shark Tank India with my double chin
Sharks - yeh do gala pan nahi chalega
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I got beaten up inside a cafe in gurgaon once so it was basically blue thukai coffee
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I'm at Khar Starbucks and there is a Shweta on every table here
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Modiji please ban better luck next time card on Gpay thanks
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I tweeted about Elon and gained 200 followers if that ain't stonks I don't know what is
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Content peaked with bade chote on 9xm nothing ever will come close
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Spotify is great for productivity because the ads make you lose interest and go back to work
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Me to a child in my building - beta why don't you learn to code on Whitehat Jr
Child - uncle mujhe Product Manager banna hai so thanks but no thanks
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Tesla will flop in Gurgaon because people will keep fighting with the AI kyunki gaadi toh tera bhai chalayega
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therapist: and what do we say to ourselves when we’re feeling stressed?
me: abcdefghi jklm nopqrstuvwx
therapist: no
me: tum bhi kaho
therapist: yz
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Me Texting: ★ ★ ★ ★ ★
Me Calling: ★ ★ ★ ☆ ☆
Me in Person: ☆☆☆☆☆
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Who called it masturbation and not main dardi rub rub kardi?
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So basically Reliance waited for people to build consumer internet categories, brands and consumer habits on VC money to then acquire assets in distress sales. Alexa play Scam 1992 opening music.
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Overheard in indiranagar: be realistic this is life not a cred ad
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All I want from the budget is to ban better luck next time on Gpay
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Waiting for Hindenburg to make report on Mumbai real estate so that prices come down
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Big billion de
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Yeh hum hai
Yeh covid hai
Cases badh rahe hai bsdk shaadi mein jaana band karo
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I look at the Amazon UI and yeah jeff is right it's still day 1 there
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The people who mention all their past companies in Twitter bios do they also mention all their exes in Tinder bios?
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If there were 25 hours a day, I’d still want to sleep 26 hours. It’s not that I am a sleepaholic, I just fucking love the bed.❤️
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I love Bandra because where else would a Bugatti Veyron come and get bhajiya pav at the same spot as you
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I'm trying to spread the rumour that income tax was a Mughal invention
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Recruiter - please explain this gap in your CV
Me - woh I was in Kasol
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🇺🇸: Comedians in cars getting coffee
🇮🇳: Comedians in clubs getting arrested
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