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Jennifer Espinoza Profile
Jennifer Espinoza

@sadqueer4life

Followers
41,647
Following
1,708
Media
1,244
Statuses
10,084

I DON’T WANT TO BE UNDERSTOOD out now from @AliceJamesBooks -

Joined February 2014
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@sadqueer4life
Jennifer Espinoza
10 days
from I DON’T WANT TO BE UNDERSTOOD - out today via @AliceJamesBooks
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@sadqueer4life
Jennifer Espinoza
4 years
Anxiety is like
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@sadqueer4life
Jennifer Espinoza
3 years
might fuck around and show myself the same compassion and understanding i’d instinctively have for a good friend or loved one
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@sadqueer4life
Jennifer Espinoza
7 years
me: i'm a very private person someone: hi me: so i'll start by describing some of my lighter traumas before i get into the real bad stuff
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@sadqueer4life
Jennifer Espinoza
6 years
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@sadqueer4life
Jennifer Espinoza
7 years
man: i enjoy attaching fake testicles to my big dumb truck society: cool woman: i enjoy pumpkin spice & pop music society: kill yourself
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@sadqueer4life
Jennifer Espinoza
5 years
“i don’t know enough to have an opinion about that” is the most underrated sentence in the world
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@sadqueer4life
Jennifer Espinoza
6 years
i used to think there was a fiona apple song for every occasion but it turns out i just have clinical depression
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@sadqueer4life
Jennifer Espinoza
2 years
transphobes love to be like ‘you can’t transition because your life will become too difficult due to the way i am going to treat you’
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@sadqueer4life
Jennifer Espinoza
6 years
when i stop tweeting it’s because my mental health is bad and when i start tweeting again it’s also because my mental health is bad
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@sadqueer4life
Jennifer Espinoza
7 years
me: self-care is way more complex than people think, it takes prolonged and uncomfortable emotional self-examination, plus a willingness to challenge one’s deeply ingrained perceptions also me: i bet if i drink this glass of water i won’t be mentally ill anymore
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@sadqueer4life
Jennifer Espinoza
7 years
2013 vs 2018 💅🏻✨
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@sadqueer4life
Jennifer Espinoza
6 years
them: you’re an amazing writer imposter syndrome: they’re just being polite them: your work has literally changed my life imposter syndrome: so polite of them to say that them: i even got a tattoo of a line you wrote imposter syndrome: they’re very dedicated to being polite
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@sadqueer4life
Jennifer Espinoza
6 years
hey, wanna come over? i live right at the intersection of desperate longing for human connection and unrelenting terror at the thought of getting too close to anyone
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@sadqueer4life
Jennifer Espinoza
5 years
as a poet i am good at noticing when sunlight is hitting something in an interesting way and am bad at literally everything else
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@sadqueer4life
Jennifer Espinoza
7 years
briefly mistook this heartworm medication ad at the vet's office for some kind of bizarre anti-dog propaganda
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@sadqueer4life
Jennifer Espinoza
6 years
hell yeah i’m gay G- going A- another Y- year without speaking to most of my family
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@sadqueer4life
Jennifer Espinoza
7 years
we’re here, we’re queer, we’re currently experiencing seasonal affective disorder on top of our normal year-round clinical depression so please be gentle
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@sadqueer4life
Jennifer Espinoza
6 years
younger me: what if i packed everything up and ran away and found a place where no one knows my name, where i could start over and build a new life from scratch and maybe even find true happiness me now: what if i went like two days without tweeting
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@sadqueer4life
Jennifer Espinoza
6 years
once i rid myself of toxic shame, develop basic social skills, stop interpreting all stimuli as uncomfortable or threatening, and process a lifetime’s worth of trauma it’s over for you bitches
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@sadqueer4life
Jennifer Espinoza
6 years
how the fuck does anyone have the energy to do anything
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@sadqueer4life
Jennifer Espinoza
6 years
my kink is being reassured i’m good enough
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@sadqueer4life
Jennifer Espinoza
8 years
me: the notion of a collective womanhood is fraught w disparities in power/privilege me drunk in a bar bathroom: all women ever are perfect
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@sadqueer4life
Jennifer Espinoza
6 years
my two moods are “i can’t believe i get to be a person” and “i can’t believe i have to be a person”
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@sadqueer4life
Jennifer Espinoza
5 years
literally what the fuck is anybody talking about ever
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@sadqueer4life
Jennifer Espinoza
7 years
me to myself: don’t overshare someone: h- me: funny how i spend all my time chasing validation from others even though i never developed the ability to believe anything good about myself
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@sadqueer4life
Jennifer Espinoza
6 years
what doesn’t kill me gives me a bunch of weird chronic symptoms i’m convinced are going to kill me
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@sadqueer4life
Jennifer Espinoza
7 years
being a male intellectual is easy, all you have to do is begin every statement with the word “essentially” and ask women “did you read the article” when they wrote it
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@sadqueer4life
Jennifer Espinoza
7 years
me: i'm a very private person them: hi me: so here's a list of my recent panic attacks along w some basic triggers & existential fears
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@sadqueer4life
Jennifer Espinoza
7 years
me to myself: be cool someone: what's ur favorite song me: it depends on whatever childhood trauma i'm currently attempting to process
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@sadqueer4life
Jennifer Espinoza
25 days
my cat is cruel and hateful to nearly everyone he meets. still, i made an effort with him when i first moved in with Eileen because she’d rescued him from a pile of trash outside when he was just a newborn, and as someone with early childhood trauma and major abandonment issues,
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@sadqueer4life
Jennifer Espinoza
3 years
any trans people want to meet at the top of a mountain and just scream into the sky for like an hour
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@sadqueer4life
Jennifer Espinoza
2 months
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@sadqueer4life
Jennifer Espinoza
4 years
Reminder that I didn’t transition from one gender to another as much as I just kinda changed what type of lesbian I am
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@sadqueer4life
Jennifer Espinoza
6 years
some people fake it till they make it but i just avoid it till it crushes me
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@sadqueer4life
Jennifer Espinoza
7 years
me: hi someone who thinks 13 reasons why is an accurate portrayal of mental illness:
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@sadqueer4life
Jennifer Espinoza
7 years
literally cannot understand how anyone has the energy to do anything
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@sadqueer4life
Jennifer Espinoza
7 years
i just got married!!!!! 👩‍❤️‍👩👰💍✨🌈
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@sadqueer4life
Jennifer Espinoza
4 years
My kink is having no idea what the fuck any of you are talking about
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@sadqueer4life
Jennifer Espinoza
6 years
can’t tell if i contain multitudes or if i’m just full of shit
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@sadqueer4life
Jennifer Espinoza
6 years
what i say: i’ve made some huge progress lately what i mean: i can now occasionally express one of my wants or needs honestly and clearly as long as i have the rest of the day to recover from it
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@sadqueer4life
Jennifer Espinoza
7 years
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@sadqueer4life
Jennifer Espinoza
6 years
once i figure out how to accomplish simple everyday tasks without spiraling into a stress-induced panic attack it’s over for you bitches
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@sadqueer4life
Jennifer Espinoza
8 years
i want to DIE D- do better in life I- improve my mental health E- emotionally connect w other humans
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@sadqueer4life
Jennifer Espinoza
7 years
lesbians should be in charge of everything
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@sadqueer4life
Jennifer Espinoza
10 months
my detransition story is that i lost access to hormones this summer and was like “let’s turn this terrible thing into an opportunity” so i got my wife pregnant like we’ve always wanted and then we lost the baby and i retransitioned but am now irrevocably broken in body and spirit
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@sadqueer4life
Jennifer Espinoza
5 years
my two moods re dating: -i want to grow as a person with someone, experiencing mutual vulnerability as we shed obsolete survival skills and challenge one another to be the realest, healthiest versions of ourselves -i want to be fucked until i feel like i deserve to exist
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@sadqueer4life
Jennifer Espinoza
4 years
All poets do is google synonyms and cry
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@sadqueer4life
Jennifer Espinoza
7 years
me to myself: no need to overshare, just make small talk me 3 seconds later: i think my deep-seated fear of confrontation stems from being repeatedly yelled at and demeaned as a young child, which incidentally also has a lot to do with my issues around self-esteem, and furthermo
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@sadqueer4life
Jennifer Espinoza
7 years
a man slowed his car to tell me to smile so i made my face even bitchier in response, but then was like “that gives him power over me,” so i started smiling and was like “this gives him power too,” and then i realized i have no self outside of misogynistic expectations: a memoir
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Jennifer Espinoza
7 years
things to do: -listen as your day unfolds -challenge what the future holds -keep your head up to the sky -stand up and be counted -don’t be ashamed to cry things to be: -bad -bold -wiser -hard -tough -stronger -cool -calm -together things to remember: -love will save the day
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@sadqueer4life
Jennifer Espinoza
3 years
She proposed to me at sunset, beneath a tree in the same desert where we first fell in love, and I said yes!!!!!! 🥺😭💕
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@sadqueer4life
Jennifer Espinoza
7 years
them: wyd? me: nm, just interrogating my deepest held beliefs abt myself & trying to reshape the way my brain forms my particlular reality
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@sadqueer4life
Jennifer Espinoza
6 years
you: i was radicalized by the writings of karl marx me, an intellectual: i was radicalized by animorphs
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@sadqueer4life
Jennifer Espinoza
7 years
you: we should strive to make straight people feel as comfortable as possible around us so they might one day come to realize we are simply human beings with hopes, dreams, and loves, just like them! me, a queer intellectual:
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@sadqueer4life
Jennifer Espinoza
25 days
my beautiful boy :)
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@sadqueer4life
Jennifer Espinoza
3 years
i’m just a girl standing in front of her own body asking it to please stop keeping the fucking score
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@sadqueer4life
Jennifer Espinoza
6 years
i’ve been married to my best friend for 8 months and i still can’t get over how amazing it feels!! 👰💕👰🌈✨
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@sadqueer4life
Jennifer Espinoza
6 years
jimmy eat world’s 2001 hit single “the middle” is a trans girl anthem and i will not be told otherwise
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@sadqueer4life
Jennifer Espinoza
7 years
the transgender conspiracy to stay alive and have basic human rights
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@sadqueer4life
Jennifer Espinoza
6 years
i haven’t written any poems lately but i’ve cried a lot which is the exact same thing
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@sadqueer4life
Jennifer Espinoza
7 years
is sapiosexuality the one where you only date people who sarcastically refer to every sport as "sportsball"
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@sadqueer4life
Jennifer Espinoza
6 years
not a huge fan of this whole “existing in a human body” business
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@sadqueer4life
Jennifer Espinoza
6 years
i survived a fucked up childhood and all i got was this inability to tell the difference between what i actually want and what i think others want me to want
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@sadqueer4life
Jennifer Espinoza
7 years
transitioning from “sad girl” to “girl who takes responsibility for her emotions while learning to heal and engage in self-care but not in that obnoxious ‘everyone should just drink more water and go live on a farm’ way, and also still v sad about how fucked the world is”
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@sadqueer4life
Jennifer Espinoza
7 years
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Jennifer Espinoza
7 years
one cool thing i do is i shut the fuck up when i haven’t educated myself enough to have a fully formed opinion about something
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Jennifer Espinoza
8 years
when the thing ruining ur life is too specific &unrelatable to get any catharsis from joking abt it on the internet
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@sadqueer4life
Jennifer Espinoza
6 years
me trying to flirt with cis women: oh my god i can’t believe i just said “hi” to her. is that too forward? am i being creepy simply by existing? i don’t want to make her feel guilty if she isn’t into trans women. oh god i should just shut up cis women trying to flirt with me:
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Jennifer Espinoza
6 years
me pre-transition: i need to get real with myself and finally begin to seriously and thoughtfully explore my gender identity—this is life-or-death stuff here me now: my gender is avril lavigne complicated.mp3
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@sadqueer4life
Jennifer Espinoza
8 years
me 2 myself: k lets keep the conversation light & fun 3 min later: as a child i was made 2 feel like my needs didnt matter, & as a result i
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@sadqueer4life
Jennifer Espinoza
7 years
queer flirting: so what’s your favorite way to healthily grieve your lost childhood?
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@sadqueer4life
Jennifer Espinoza
7 years
my brain: i feel bad me: it's ok, feelings are temporary my brain: so is life, so is everything and everyone you've ever loved me: jesus
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@sadqueer4life
Jennifer Espinoza
3 years
officially gay divorced as of today
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@sadqueer4life
Jennifer Espinoza
6 years
having the lowest possible expectations and still ending up disappointed: a memoir
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@sadqueer4life
Jennifer Espinoza
7 years
look, i’m not a prideful woman, all i’m saying is i’d rather wander aimlessly around this hardware store until i’m dead from dehydration than have one of these men condescendingly explain anything to me
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@sadqueer4life
Jennifer Espinoza
6 years
believe women!!* *unless they’re trans or not white or the guy they’re accusing is your friend or you “just really like his work” and have “only ever had positive experiences with him” and you can’t fathom anyone else’s reality outside your own privileged white lady bubble
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@sadqueer4life
Jennifer Espinoza
5 years
“why aren’t there more lesbians here” -me everywhere
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@sadqueer4life
Jennifer Espinoza
5 years
getting worse at tweeting is an important part of my healing journey
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@sadqueer4life
Jennifer Espinoza
5 years
my kink is assuming everyone is judging me as harshly as i’m judging myself
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@sadqueer4life
Jennifer Espinoza
6 years
all my life i was told i just needed to pray more which is why i now begin every day by looking up at the sky and screaming THANK YOU GOD FOR MAKING ME THE GAYEST BITCH ALIVE
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@sadqueer4life
Jennifer Espinoza
6 years
i don’t trust anyone who doesn’t feel like screaming
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@sadqueer4life
Jennifer Espinoza
6 years
my body seems annoyed that it exists
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@sadqueer4life
Jennifer Espinoza
6 years
i’m coming out as someone who claims to have visible leg hair because of feminism when in reality it’s because of laziness
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@sadqueer4life
Jennifer Espinoza
5 years
me immediate post-breakup: I am going to stop relying on relationships to define who I am. I am going to finally get to know myself, love myself, and live for myself fully. This is my time to shine. me now: any hot skateboard girl want to ruin life pls
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@sadqueer4life
Jennifer Espinoza
7 years
my sexual orientation is anyone who is cute and doesn’t suck which makes me a de facto lesbian
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@sadqueer4life
Jennifer Espinoza
3 years
“are you straight or gay?” bro i am literally the moon having a dream about itself
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@sadqueer4life
Jennifer Espinoza
7 years
i love you as much as heterosexual couples love referring to the bare minimum as “relationship goals”
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@sadqueer4life
Jennifer Espinoza
2 years
I started taking hormones 18 months ago, and it was by far the best decision I’ve ever made for myself!!
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@sadqueer4life
Jennifer Espinoza
3 years
THE REASON YOU HATE TRANSSEXUALS IS BECAUSE
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@sadqueer4life
Jennifer Espinoza
7 years
true life: i thought i was a “quirky girl” but it turns out i’m just deeply traumatized and unable to function in a society built around one’s capacity to perform labor under capitalism
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@sadqueer4life
Jennifer Espinoza
6 years
i can’t believe i gay married the love of my life a year ago today!!
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@sadqueer4life
Jennifer Espinoza
6 years
being a person sucks, i just wanna transfer my consciousness into a tree and chill for like a thousand years
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@sadqueer4life
Jennifer Espinoza
1 year
guess who’s back on her little hormones
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@sadqueer4life
Jennifer Espinoza
6 years
my body isn’t so much a temple as it is a monument to pure, unbridled anxiety
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@sadqueer4life
Jennifer Espinoza
6 years
hobbies include noticing self-defeating thought patterns and behaviors and tracing them back to their origins until i fully comprehend their existence as coping mechanisms for deeply ingrained traumas and then just going “huh, interesting” and moving on
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@sadqueer4life
Jennifer Espinoza
6 years
my traumatized ass attempting to openly express any wants, needs, or feelings
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