Yikes is my catchphrase
@rubiks_kubed
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Following
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Media
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Word nerd, candle addict, chocolate removal specialist. My home bar is constantly stocked. Tweets could be fact or fiction
Chicago, IL
Joined January 2014
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Pinned Tweet
When all you wanted was a good paying job, but now you have to touch base, circle back, dive deep, be more impactful, come up with action plans, utilize your resources, go above and beyond, and piggyback off of what Susan said
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My toxic trait is I eat all the food from the drive thru on the way home
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Jesus walked on water so we could run on Dunkin
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When you’re throwing candy at a parade and realize you hit a kid in the face
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Haters will watch you hang holly on your own front door and say that’s not the prettiest sight to see
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What if we kissed by the life sized Hungry Hungry Hippos
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Overheard a guy in his 50s ask to add chocolate cream cold foam to his coffee because he’s “feeling naughty” …sir this is a Starbucks
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Crazy how much your overall life happiness depends on how happy you are with your job
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Sending an email apologizing for using two exclamation points in an email and promising to only use one in the future, I fucking hate directly working under a CEO
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Someone in the women’s bathroom gave me hand sanitizer while saying “women supporting women” and that’s the kind of positivity I need in my life
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Has anyone ever actually won a $50 Amazon gift card for filling out course evaluations or is that just a myth to get us to do them
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Dreams do come true
What if we kissed by the life sized Hungry Hungry Hippos
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babe are you ok you’ve barely talked about how American politics is doomed today
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Got this email today from a prof whose class I took during fall 2018.
Yikes, I hope I can pass this class 😬😰
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Surely not EVERYBODY at the bar was gettin tipsy
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Spent all summer outside and still wish I could spend more time outside
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Shocked and saddened to learn that if you drink from 11 am - 2 am you’re going to be hungover the next day
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This man really slid in the DMs to say “first date idea we ignore each other”
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Has anyone ever met someone at a singles event or are those just events to sell more singles
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Trying something different by smoking cigarettes before sex
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The boys, and I cannot stress this enough, are back in town
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she wears high heels, I wear sneakers, she’s cheer captain and I’m on the bleachers... we are not the same
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I love flights. Flights of coffee, flights of beer, flights that get me tf out of here
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Fuck Spotify Wrapped, I wanna see how many inches of sandwich you ate at Jimmy John’s this year
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Everyone’s high school relationship is either the most toxic relationship they’ve ever had or their future spouse. There’s no in between
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I stay single for the sole reason of providing fun content for my friends and Twitter followers
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Men only want one thing and it’s their lost Apple Watch
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Hard launching my rando bar make out by posting it as one of the “6 pics to say goodbye to March”
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Boys would rather scream and shout and let it all out than go to therapy
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if you’re not gonna keep on dancing at the pink pony club bro wyd
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I ride the city bus so much now that whenever I read "Marquette University" anywhere, the voice in my head reads it like the recording of the woman's voice that plays at the 12th street stop
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The time has finally come. I have to download TikTok for work. Thoughts and prayers are appreciated during this difficult time
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Just know when I call you “bb” it stands for butter burger
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Patio beers named after cows with Lambeau in the background, name something more Wisconsin you can’t
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Just a big city journalist going to a local restaurant in my hometown, hope a Hallmark movie doesn't happen
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When people tell me I’m not funny, I show them my twitter. To further prove that I am indeed not funny
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Made it to 500 followers so lmk if any of y’all wanna kiss
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Just finished making this wooden sign. Using it as a motivation to move back to the place that I love soon
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It is a big day today. A day that proves all you need is a little faith. I hope that you all experience a day like this. I am very pleased to announce that a pair of my socks, which has been separated and lost for 2 years, has finally been reunited. All is good in the world again
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Babe what’s wrong? Likes went private and you STILL don’t like my tweets
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Applebee’s implies the existence of Applebird’s
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Hooking up with a cop after the Morgan Wallen concert: name something more country than that
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It should be illegal for the doctor to make small talk with you about your job while they’re looking up your vagina
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Accidentally hit the 35% tip option after getting two beers. There goes next month’s rent
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It’s really none of my business if the moon was blue last night
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Today has been one of the saddest days of my life so here’s a picture of me laughing from a few days ago
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Nice wheel you got there. Did you reinvent it?
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Typing my symptoms into WebMD:
- palms are sweaty
- knees weak
- arms are heavy
- vomit on my sweater
- nervous, but on the surface, I look calm and ready
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I put Four Loko in a water bottle ONCE in college and when I use the bottle it still gives me hints of alcoholic peach no matter how many times I wash it. Four Loko ruins your life
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When I call you “bb” it stands for Bob Barker, remember that
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If you ghost me I’m applying for a job at your company
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On a date the guy said he thought newspapers were funded by the government and that’s how I knew it wasn’t going to work out
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Do not fuck with me I am literally switching to Geico right now
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Today is national singles day so here’s a picture of me with my mac n cheese
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This is the most “high school acquaintance” conversation I’ve ever seen. A rate from 2013 and then a pyramid scheme 7 years later LMAO
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Bro how could you. You let August slip away like a bottle of wine
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The best part about being a journalist is everyone texts you during major news events like this. Bro I assure you, as a food & diet writer, I don’t have an inside scoop
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I enjoy listening to my Spotify Wrapped playlist from 2018 because that was the last time I was happy
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dating is soo easy idk why everyone doesn’t just do it
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It was a great day f̶o̶r̶ ̶t̶h̶e̶ ̶S̶o̶x̶ ̶t̶o̶ ̶l̶o̶s̶e̶ ̶a̶g̶a̶i̶n̶ for some baseball
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I heard it’s sundress season or something like that
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Imagine falling in love with someone and then finding out they say “for all intensive purposes”
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For personal reasons I will be sleeping 12 hours tonight
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It still gets me that I literally moved back to Milwaukee to be closer to my friends, boyfriend and family, and a month in, I am legally not allowed to see any of them and am back to the same level of solitude I just was
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Feeling like a failure because the Trader Joe’s cashier didn’t compliment a single item in my cart
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Reporters be like “this is my emotional support stack of used notebooks”
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As a grown man why are you asking for my Snapchat first and not my number
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I hate to admit it but August really slipped away into a moment in time… probably because it was never mine
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This dude has been talking to himself in my DMs for the last month or so. Now he’s shifted to sending memes solely about ghosting and I can’t decide if that’s better or worse
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No babe of course I want to sing karaoke, it’s just that none of the songs are in my range
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It’s my first time not going to school in 19 years and I don’t know what to feel 😳🤩😭👵🏻
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Who needs Ozempic and Wegovy to curb hunger when you have situationship breakups
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Sorry I’m not dating rn, my relationship with ̶G̶o̶d̶ ̶ the gym comes first
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I wouldn't tell anyone l won the lottery, but there would be signs...
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Saying “my parents’ house” instead of “home” is a whole different glow up
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