elder roqzee
@roqzee
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Blogger | Podcaster | Philanthropist | Provocateur | Human 🇳🇬 🇬🇭 🇧🇯 🇨🇮 🇹🇷 🇰🇪 🇪🇹 🇿🇦 🇦🇪 🇺🇸 🇬🇧 🇧🇪 🇫🇷 🇪🇸 🇷🇸 🇲🇺 🇳🇱
England, United Kingdom
Joined July 2010
Dear Peter Obi, @PeterObi. I am compelled to write this for posterity. To capture my exact feelings in this moment. You don’t know me and probably will never see this but if you ever feel like you are responsible for dashing the hopes of well meaning poor Nigerians who believed
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Start talking to your own ex. Make sure he calls you exactly 11pm when you're in bed, whisper "no he's sleeping" and just laugh at anything he says even if it is not funny. Then drop the phone and say "this Debola sef he can never change". ✌️ You're welcome.
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Please whatever you do in this life, send your children to school. Make them at least finish secondary school. Don’t dump more of this on society. Please.
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So now we will have International Passport, Drivers License, National Identification Number, Bank Verification Number, Voters Card AND National Digital ID just to identify the same person that hasn't eaten in days. Wonderment.
FG inaugurates committee to establish national digital ID to improve governance | TheCable
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Haq Haq Haq 🤣 Even real soldiers have not been paid August salary e come be fake soldier.
Nysc is still paying 33k? What happened to the new wage?.
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What is he talking about? Something that ordinary skit is buying brand new Benz
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That nobody finds anything wrong with EFCC raiding hotels at night and accessing private citizens rooms without a search warrant is why Nigeria is anyhow anyhow. How is this possible and nobody is alarmed? This is how we stayed quiet till SARS started killing with impunity. 🇳🇬📢.
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Education is NOT a Scam.Yahoo is not a career.Social Media is not pensionable.Ritual is despicable.Any way no be way . Obi Cubana went to school. Davido went to school. Dangote went to school. Dead that narrative that education is a waste of time. Knowledge can never waste. 🎤.
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At the beginning I kept thinking "God is this how October #HallelujahChallenge met me without my testimony?". By Day 5 I joined bcos God remains God regardless. By Day 9 Brethren, after 10 months of "unfortunately" 🥹🙌 My prayer journal is finally complete @nathanielblow.
My testimony go loud o! #HallelujahChallenge 💃🕺God has just answered one out of my two MAJOR prayer requests during Hallelujah Challenge. He has dislodged something that my village people held up since November last year. Nobody had seen that type of problem before. Everybody.
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Always tell your own story whenever you can because once you’re gone they will shamelessly twist the narrative to suit their purpose
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The average Nigerians idea of flex is hanging out every night drinking beer and eating fish. How can that even be trips for you when your mates are booking holidays and seeing the world? Making memories and networks? You just collect salary, drink, smoke, straff then repeat. 🙄🚶🏼♂️.
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There’s no scientific basis for this belief. Just be happy for others because you’re a decent human being, that’s all. Whether your time comes or not has nothing to do with anything.
Be happy for others ,your time is coming and most times it's always bigger.
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@PastorEAAdeboye Article 19 says: “Everyone has the right to freedom of opinion and expression; this right includes freedom to hold opinions without interference and to seek, receive and impart information and ideas THROUGH ANY MEDIA and regardless of frontiers”
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This is exactly how they trigger Prince Harry. Why should a child lose his mother and then have her memory tarnished 20 years later by some planted story calling her untoward? Which child can bear that without losing his mind trying to defend his mothers honour? So low.
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@IfeKiisha This is actually wrong and insensitive. You are using your position as a passenger knowing he cannot resist without consequences to force your religion down his throat. Let’s flip the table around and He was the one who was playing Islamic preaching on the radio will you take it?.
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When you’re in front of a client providing service then your spouse calls & client says it’s fine to pick, they expect it to be quick. Which one is to spend 7 minutes of my time saying “why is Aunty Tinuke refusing to enter now? shebi the dog knows her”. If I slap you & bingo.
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When Jandor openly asked TVC during a live interview, to explain how their very TVC office became private property when it was originally owned by LASPOTECH, a public institution using tax payers funds, nobody paid attention. You have now handed the entire warehouse of yams to
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Yahoo boys have cleared my 69 year-old dad’s account with his pension savings. He came to complain to @UBAGroup customer care on Twitter and used a fake Twitter handle and they asked him for his account details and PIN which he disclosed. Instantly over 200,000 disappeared 👏🏼 1:0.
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Nigerians and their ignorant arrogance talking about “Burna & Wizkid put Africa on the Grammy map”. Simple Google: LadySmith Mambazo (5 Grammies) Angelique Kidjo (3) Ali Toure (2) and Soweto Gospel Choir (2). All before your faves even dreamt of winning. Disrespectful bunch 🤮.
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I saw Valhalla mentioned only once this entire Christmas period. My TL usually would have been flooded with everyone tagging him for gifts. I hope his family knows that he did well and that nobody has forgotten him. Sometimes it’s just easier not to mention painful memories. 🕊️
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The best way you can honour @Valhalla_XXX legacy is to decide that you will emulate his generosity to complete strangers when your own wealth comes. That’s the ultimate form of remembrance. Let his life mean something that overshadows his death. #Valhalla 🕊.
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Instagram has removed number of likes from the posts so only the poster can see how many in the background. @Twitter needs to do the same thing and kill this foolish influencer status once and for all from talentless people only famous for how many likes they get per tweet. 🤭.
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The one thing I struggle with as an outsider amongst Yoruba people is their penchant for putting stew on everything. Beans? Spread stew on it. Egusi or Okro or Vegetable Soup? Spread stew. Yam? Rice? Stew. Bread? Stew. Fish and Chips? Stew. Custard? Quaker Oats? A glass of water?.
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The amount of money the telecoms networks are making off #TwitterNG though. 🙆🏽♂️🙌🏽🇳🇬🔥 @AM_Aleyu I’m sending you 10K to share data under this tweet. Not sure why this #EndSWAT matter is taking so long to resolve. Is there more than we know? Is the government afraid of the Police?.
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If you’re delighted at the rumour that Toke Makinwa’s house was seized by AMCON, it is because you think every girl who doesn’t suffer with a broke guy is wayward and will end up badly. Stop watching Nollywood for your mental health. This is 2020.
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In Lagos you put windows then squeeze the houses together like matches. What’s the point of the windows if there’s no ventilation?
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At this point in my life, I’m either the King or the Chief Priest 👑 🧙♂️ Either way, Maverick ⭐️ #HappyBirthdayRoqzee
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Imagine if she was married to a Nigerian man that insisted on fresh vegetable soup every week because he is the head of the house and must prove it by banning her from staying out late to play politics like the best of them. 🤔 Congratulations @KamalaHarris 🎉
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No motivational speaker ever tells you who they slept with to get ahead in their career journey to success. You’ll be here doing everything they wrote in their book and end up feeling like a failure. Truth is nobody reveals every single formula they used to get where they are 🎤.
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2023 Lexus RX350 launched yesterday 😍 Need to quadruple my hustle
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If you’re above 23 and still doing Wizkid is better than Davido or Men are better than women arguments all over Twitter… 🧠🔫 You can’t blame Buhari for that one.
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Let me go and start looking for who will help me share Urgent 2K tomorrow for 15 followers. Disbursement is exhausting.
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I really really love my little gang of followers and their incredible sense of humour. They get me. 🤭 Feels nice.
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Guess what I stumbled on just now? 🙌 I needed this. #HallelujahChallenge 3 Hours Praise & Worship
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You won’t understand the trauma young Nigerian men go through just to step out of the house. Trying to figure out how to hold their phone. How to look unthreatening. Which road to pass to avoid being extorted by Task Force, EFCC, NDLEA, DSS, MOPOL or Agbero. Every single day.
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Communicate with people as if you’re being recorded. Chat with the expectation that it will be screenshot. Speak in such a way that when it is repeated, you will be able to stand by what you said. Especially when the other person says you should trust them. Trust nobody.
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If you’re a woman seeing this, take a good long look at it. And swear to yourself that you were born for greater things. Find a man not intimidated by your ambitions. Then start learning everything you need. Read, listen & research then compete fiercely with the men. And win. 👩
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I’ve seen people who blow their salary month after month and have never suffered. I’ve seen people who save every single salary and one sickness took everything and left them begging and broke. The race is not for the swift, it’s just God that shows mercy. Good decisions + Grace.
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@cuppymusic You need to fire your entire management @cuppymusic if this is the production they put together for you. From the styling to the choreography to the back up dancers to the confused videography. You’re clearly surrounded by people who are afraid to tell you the truth.
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If you’re going to someone’s house with another person, you should let the host know upfront. Don’t say ‘I want to come eat rice’ then show up with your friends or lover with no advance notice. People’s house is their private space & they have a right to choose who comes in. 🤷♀️.
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If I give you 15,000 naira now to share with two other people… tag the 2 other people you will share it with (5K each)? You can’t form more than one crew. Picking the winner before I sleep.
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This Eniola Badmus issue shows that twitter just gives you a false sense of anonymity. If dem wan find you dem go find you reach house. Continue feeling like a gangster under people's tweets, insulting them unprovoked from your Moleye Street Alagomeji Yaba family house. 👀🤐.
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Buying fake shoes at expensive prices on Twitter because they’re sold by someone famous does not make the shoe suddenly authentic. It makes you dumb. And there’s nothing stupider than a person with money but lacking sense or class.
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Predict the Nigeria vs Sudan scores UNDER this tweet before 4pm and you may win 5K. 🇳🇬🇸🇩 Tweet will be locked at 4pm to avoid new entries. Winner will be chosen randomly (not first to predict) from correct predictions. Keep it fun guys! And Retweet for others. ⚽️ ♻️
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Indians will go somewhere foreign, crack the code for surviving there and run to invite all the Indians from back home. They will simplify the process for others, house Indian strangers and the strangers too behave well so the host will be encouraged to bring in more Indians.
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1K data for 30 followers or 3K cash for 10 followers. Vote then comment. Winners chosen from comment section.
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Dear Salary Earners, your next salary is January 31. You’ve finished December salary and the Christmas didn’t last more than 24 hours. Best of luck in your urgent 2K endeavors.
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1GB data for 15 people. Remember today is April Fool’s Day sha.
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This man made himself a target for nothing 🎯 If Police no catch you, DSS will. If not DSS, EFCC will. If not, NDLEA will. At this rate even Tax office & NAFDAC. Or do these agencies now have monthly targets so they’re running wild like Customs? Military era headlines everyday
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All the give away I want to do na delivery cost dey stop me. I bought 15K items and paid 9K delivery recently. You sef check am na. The delivery alone reach to give 3 additional people 3K each. That’s why na cash give away sure pass. Meanwhile @AM_Aleyu 1K airtime for 20. 🎅.
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By 9am tomorrow I will check all the comments under this tweet and select one male and one female follower at random to send 5K each. To start your week off right. RT only if you’re nice and want more competition. 😊.
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Just a collage of your faves @valentinowpg @SammieLaolu @roqzeez @Valhalla_X0 wearing face masks. it’s the cool thing to do 😎 Post your masked picture under this tweet let’s see those taking this seriously 📸 ♻️ RT too. I’ll be picking 5 winning pictures for 5K each at 2pm
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As you grow, actively fight the need to do oga boss. It’s detrimental to your humaneness. Carry your own bag, make your own coffee and open your own damn car door. Say hello to the driver and pick your own document from the printer. None of these things reduce your actual status.
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Our favourite vendor @under10kshopp needs no introduction. These 🔥 sneakers need no long story cos it’s Monday. Not all sizes may be available so be flexible. Nationwide delivery on me. 4 winners by noon. If you’re in the mood for #RoqZanta 🎅 do like this 🙋🏽♂️🙋🏽♀️ and RT.
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Please before you want my kind of life, note that I studied 5 years in University & 1 year in law school before NYSC of another 1 year. Then I've worked 17 full years to be able to do give away. I know many people just want to skip to the last part of giving out money. Focus. 🎤.
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Be clean. Smell nice. Look good. Speak well. Know stuff. 💯🙌🏽🎤 You’ll be surprised how far it will take you when opportunity presents itself.
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If you’re 25 years and above, get an international passport as priority. It’s the absolute least you can do for yourself. Leave visa first. Foundation before pillars.
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If I dash you 5K for Friday consoligbadun what exactly will you buy with it? Choosing 2 people by noon. ♻️.
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If you’re already on your way to work, do like 👍🏽 May God crown your efforts cos look at the time.
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Predict the final scores of the Nigeria vs Tunisia match and you may win 5K naira cash. Only comments UNDER this tweet will qualify. Tweet will be locked by 7pm. Winner randomly selected (not first correct prediction) after match 🇳🇬 ⚽️ 🇹🇳 #AFCON2021 Retweet for others.
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E never reach 24 hours una wan make Raufulai ban the Twitter again 🤣🤭 na wa o 🇳🇬🇳🇬🇳🇬
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As people don dey ask me for chicken 🐓 since morning I’ll give 3K to 10 followers 🙋🏽🙋🏽♂️ by 9am to buy hoodlum fowl for Christmas. Una no go vex na Buhari cause am 🤭 it is not #RoqZanta 🎅 but you can RT for awareness my customers may be on your TL. Merry Christmas y’all.
What about hoodlums fowl?.
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You can’t let anybody come to your house because you keep using Lekki as your location on Instagram when you’re squatting with friends after Mayfair Gardens. Drop the fake online life in 2020. Instead work on being so rich that you’re afraid to show it off for security reasons.
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You didn’t buy cloth and shoe for Christmas did you die? You didn’t eat jollof rice with chicken and salad that will still purge you, did the world end? The sense of necessity based on Christmas is all in our heads. Don’t worry you will grow out of it. Can we get back to hustle?.
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2021 is My Year of Peace, Prosperity and Answered Prayers 🙏 #ZenYear #WinningYear 🙏 What do you think it will be for you? 1K airtime for 10 of my favourite responses ♻️ 👍🏽 ✍️
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See younger people holding iPhones in a crowd nobody killed them or collected the phones. Poverty is a bastard.
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Please vote for your #TheRoqzees🏆 2020 Trouble Maker/Hater of the Year Award worth 12K cash to the winner.
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As a working parent that doesn’t want to die young & leave your kids, once every year arrange babysitter, check into a hotel by yourself & switch off. Eat room service food, watch nonsense on TV, go to the swimming pool then sleep like crazy. I swear they’ll survive. HBP kills.
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September 8 last year I was at the Lagos airport heading out to the UK. Her Majesty the Queen died as I landed Heathrow. Many of you remember that day. Today is what a full year feels like and how fast it goes. Never procrastinate. Do or Don't, life is moving on.
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The last high profile invitee for drug related investigation was Obi Cubana. Are you following the pattern of the expanding drug investigation? Your favourite music artistes and skit makers are trembling right now. Enjoy the movie 🍿>>>
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ASUU is still on strike? Tomorrow now employers will say graduates above 20 years old need not apply. O sun mi mehn 🤐.
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