Richard Davis
@redbat9669
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Favorite sports teams are UofL Cardinals, Chicago Cubs, Cincinnati Bengals & Boston Celtics Follow me & I will follow you: unfollow me & I will unfollow you too
Louisville, KY
Joined June 2014
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Last Seen Profiles
I wonder if anyone has ever gotten fired on April Fool’s Day
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I just got a call from my gym asking me if I want to upgrade to two visits per year.
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In a surprise move, Chicago Cubs have apparently hired Craig Counsell to be their next manager. Looks like David Ross is out.
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CUBS WIN!!! CUBS WIN!!
CUBS WIN the World Series!!!
Holy cow!!! 🐮
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I’m not lazy, but I have considered moving to Alabama so I don’t have to scroll to select my state in a dropdown menu.
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I'll turn Siri back on when they make a Siri: The Southern Edition cause right now she can't understand a word I say
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@JimBreuer
Thanks, Jim, for a great show in New Brunswick. My wife & I drove all the way from KY to see the show.
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Good luck to the Philadelphia Eagles against the Kansas City Cheats in this years Super Bowl
#nflrigged
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I just asked our waitress if I could substitute my french fries with fruit, and then we all laughed and laughed.
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Schwarber just welcomed Bummer to the big leagues....homer makes it 6-2
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If your relationship can be described as "it's complicated"... let me sum it up for you. You're not in a relationship.
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Homerun by Happ ties the score at 3. Cubs are staying alive
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Louisville made a great hire in Jeff Brohm today. Fans will begin filling those seats up next year.
Satterfield did the Cards a favor
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I know it’s 3 meals a day, but how many should I eat at night?
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Scott Satterfield did his players and assistant coaches at Louisville dirty. I predict Cincinnati will fire him within 2-3 years.
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In 2021, when the Cubs did all their cleaning house trades, I was happy no one went to St. Louis. Contreras signing with them today stings.
I wish him well except when he plays the Cubs as he is a great guy.
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I wanted to watch the world's origami championships but its only on paper view.
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Help!! I accidentally wore a red shirt to Target and now they've got me working a double
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When you hurt your thumb, you have to sit in the stadium with the fans
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My life is just a bunch of "it seemed like a good idea at the time"s strung together.
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YESSSSSSSS!!! Wooly worm eyebrows Carpenter is toast at the plate
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"""yeah i'll start eating healthy tomorrow""
I say to myself for the 365th day in a row"
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I wrote a book on cats. I should have used paper. Yesterday, Chapter Six got hit by a car.
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Swept by Pirates...bullpen coughed up 2 of those. Cubs start winning streak tomorrow!!!
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I forget. At a formal dinner, on which side of your plate does your phone go?
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Cubs win!! Cubs win!!
Cub fans have taken over another stadium....impressive being on the west coast
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The hardest part of the day is all the stuff after I open my eyes in the morning.
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Take time to stop & smell the roses! Life is the most precious possession you have! Live it abundantly every day!
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I'm texting in the car. Don't worry, I'm in the passenger seat. Which makes it harder to drive, but fools the cops.
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I'm feeling guilty about the salt shaker I stole from Jimmy Buffett in 1977. Does he still blame himself?
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Say something kind and encouraging to everyone you meet, and people will always be happy to see you coming. ~ Joyce Meyer
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It's like my boss doesn't even care that I was close to my Minecraft high score.
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The police said my dog chased someone on a bike. I said that's impossible, my dog doesn't own a bike.
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If our starters needed an extra day why not just do a bullpen day like last year instead of bringing up a guy who hasn't pitched since 2012?
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My doctor said don’t do anything strenuous for the next few days.....so in other words keep doing what I’m doing?
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I fainted at the doctor's office last week. It happened when they called my name within 5 minutes of my appointment.
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The only thing I don't like about bellbottoms is the constant clanging.
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Today in 1986, rapper Waka Flocka Flame was born. Clearly, we are running out of names for rappers.
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Our dog just found and ate a tiny little lizard. So, there goes my shot at saving 15% on car insurance....
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Every time I hear the dirty word 'exercise', I wash my mouth out with chocolate.
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Before the doctor gave me a cortisone shot in my shoulder, he asked "do you lift weights or are you a body builder?"
Then we both laughed
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Someone stole my identity. And then sent it back with $100 and a note that said "So sorry man. Hope things work out."
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Every defeat, every heartbreak, every loss, contains its own seed, its own lesson on how to improve your performance the next time.
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Help..I have a Taylor Swift song stuck in my head and I can't seem to shake it off.
Shake it off....shake it off.
Aargh!!
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Whenever I go to Subway, when they ask if I would like my sandwich toasted, I say yes & then I raise my cup of Coke & say, "To my sandwich!"
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Warnings are so stupid. Like on this deodorant 'Avoid contact with eyes.' Too late, I've already seen it.
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Great comeback win!! Bullpen looked much better.
Go Cubs go!!
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The police knocked on my door last night and said my dog had chased someone on a bike. That's a lot of baloney. My dog doesn't have a bike..
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Why is it so hard to find an exercise bike with a nice little basket where I can put my nachos?
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The primary purpose of a 100-calorie snack is to make me hungrier than before I had the 100-calorie snack.
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Picking up this tiny piece of paper would take 1 second, but instead I am going to run over 100 times with the vacuum at different angles.
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Just for kicks, every now and then, I connect to my neighbor's wireless printer and print out things like: "WE ARE WATCHING YOU."
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Massaging the shoulders of the person in front of you at the Redbox machine will usually help them make up their mind faster.
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I can almost always tell if a movie doesn't use real dinosaurs.
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Me and Grimace are standing in the McDonald's parking lot having a "who is more out of shape" body competition.
I think I'm winning
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ACTUAL QUESTION LAWYER ASKED A WITNESS: "How far apart were the vehicles at the time of the collision?"
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The last time I was at the gym? Oh, back when grandma thought Boy George was a girl.
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My face pressed close, my heart racing, I whisper "I crave you".
Krispy Kreme Manager: Sir you have to leave.
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"Today's decisions are tomorrow's realities. Remember you have 3 choices: take it, leave it or change it." - Marsha Petrie Sue
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I still can't figure out if Ariana Grande is a special at Starbucks, something from Taco Bell or some kind of font.
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Fast food places should have a third window, where you can trade in the wrong stuff they gave you at the second window.
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I signed up for an exercise class & was told to wear loose fitting clothing.
If I HAD loose fitting clothing I wouldn't have signed up!
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I signed up for exercise class & was told to wear loose clothing. If I HAD loose-fitting clothes, I wouldn't have signed up in the 1st place
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