Jones Ntaukira
@realjonzz
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CEO & Co-Founder @zuwaenergy | Founder @AfricaInvRex | Aspiring Billionaire | Podcaster @themoneyshow_mw |Husband |Father | @LFC ❤ |
Lilongwe, Malawi
Joined January 2010
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So until 24 hours ago, as a Malawian, I could just wake up, buy a ticket and fly to Kenya in the afternoon, visa free. Now Kenya has “removed visa” for everyone visiting Kenya, but now everyone has to pay $30 travel authorization fee 72 hours before travel. What? Hectic
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What Ras Kansengwa did taking and sharing that picture is immoral and aiming at shaming and dehumanising and insulting the modesty of a woman. This statement from Makhadzi makes me cry, because as men we need to be the first respect our women. The warm heart? 💔
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@PempheroMphande
It’s not just the $30, it’s the paper work, it’s the 72 hours prior, it’s submission of hotel bookings, airticket. I didn’t need all that bs a few days ago. Most of my trips to Kenya are business trips, so they are mostly decided within a day, now I have to plan for a week.
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Seven Most Mysterious Places in Malawi
Number 4 keeping expanding every year…
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The new Protea Marriott Hotel in Lilongwe, inside the Lilongwe Golf Club is coming out really nicely. Well done Blantyre Hotels Limited.
Picture credit: Yankho Somanje
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Birthday ya wife supanga chibwana. Lero tigona mnyumba. Happy birthday gorgeous.
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Mpatsa Holdings, owned by Jimmy Koreia Mpatsa has acquired 49% shareholding in My Bucks Bank - technically making My Bucks Bank partially a Malawian owned bank. This is great news. Congratulations to Jimmy Mpatsa. Stories we love to hear!
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So baby sis officially is a British Soilder! Congratulations my dear! You are the MACHINE! This girl trains more than most men I know.....her small size should not deceive you. Ndi Machine kamunthuka!🤣🤣
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Welcome to Lilongwe, our Garden City. Probably the most ecological and liveable City in Africa.
A breath of fresh air.
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Where do you get the courage to call random people on the internet ‘dumb’? You don’t know me, never met you, I don’t care about you - but you call me dumb? 😅. Learn to respect others, express your views without insulting people you don’t know, be humble, we are not friends. 🙏🏽
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Zomwe ayipanga Chez ya ku Bwandiro anthu muberedwa ndalama…..🔥🔥🙌🏽…….Fast Food, ATM Centre, Night Club, Shop. Opening 3rd March.
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Damn! And he did just that. I need to check your account for odds more often 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
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Malawi’s flag in New York is a powerful symbol of our country's growing influence on the world stage. I felt a sense of pride and belonging as I saw it flying high above the city. Thank you, Malawi, for this strategic move 🇲🇼 💛👍
Uganda's flag in New York is a powerful symbol of our country's growing influence on the world stage. I felt a sense of pride and belonging as I saw it flying high above the city. Thank you, Uganda, for this strategic move🇺🇬💛👍
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Jonestown, Lilongwe West.
Ranging from K20m to K50m for 1,2,3 bedroom stand alone houses, apartment or condo. Fully serviced. Are you guys up for it? Phase 1 starting 2021.
Lets build our nation.
#Agenda2063
#AffordableHousing
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The DPP zimbabwe wing is stronger than the DPP HQ in Malawi.
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We need 10,000 young Malawians to invest K1m each. With K10b, start a Youth VC Fund, a PE fund that can focus on scouting and investing in the best start ups in Malawi. All Banks and current Govt initiatives are rubbish…and they will not help us achieve MW2063 Agenda. GIGO
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Doing business in Malawi is too hard. Here is tax on an import made recently. Value is K19.8m. Tax payable is K15.8m - this is 80% in import taxes. And this is not for fancy things, its basic 24 inch solar DC TV to be sold to low income offgrid Malawians. Condoms are tax free😭
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Happy birthday to me. And oh wooww....a big THANK YOU to my wife
@maudomoya
for the amazing birthday gift of PS5. You rock my love! Jared and I love you to the moon and back. Wow!
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I am pretty sure there is a College/University Graduation every other week in Malawi.
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I need to fly to Maputo from Lilongwe - it’s costing me $1000 & a staggering 23 hours. Flying to Dubai costs me $600, 12 hours. Flying to London costs me $1000, 24 hours.
Malawi and Mozambique are neighboring countries.
Africa is FUCKED! The meeting in Maputo is canceled.
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Last year I did this for some family in Mtandire, only to realise later that they sold everything and used the money to buy alcohol on Boxing Day. Guy actually came to my house while drunk to thank me. So this year, am buying alcohol.
I don’t know who needs to hear this but buying groceries for a less privileged family this festive season is much better than buying alcohol for your fake friends.
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Malawi is really sitting on gold.
1 gram pre rolled joint of pure sativa or hemp in Amsterdam, sells for not less than 15 Euros - this is K30,000 for 1 gram! 😳. In short, 1KG of hemp in Amsterdam fetches K30m 🤬🤬
Compare with Tobacco - which fetches $1 per KG.
#legaliseIT
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2022 Malawi Business ‘Walk of Shame’
1. BreadTalk: The confectionary and freshly baked foods business in Lilongwe wins Walk of Shame Award for their backwardness in payments. In 2022, BreadTalk does not accept any other payments but cash. It’s high time RBM acted on them.
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On your CV, if you list all the courses you studied in University, am not reading your CV. We have Engineers who are so good at Cost Accounting. It's about what you can do not what courses you studied under a particular programme.
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2014 vs 2021
Make a plan, set your goals and make sure you stick to them. Most importantly, START.!
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Malawian Women 📍📍📍
Please normalise stocking your home bar for your husband/boyfriend every month just like my wife. 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
Also, this home bar looks gorgeous. My wife is a genius when it come to creativity. I love her! ❤❤
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So SOBO decides to just photoshop stock images in their adverts - such a big brand, from a big company whose shareholder is donating K300million to Malawi Government cannot afford their own photoshoots and support local models? Total shame and disrespect for Malawian consumers
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If it were DPP time, today someone's Dad would have cut the ribbon at some interchange in the capital, the speech would have been 'this is the Singapore I promised you my people', to a deafening hand clapping and ulalating from the mbumba clad in 'chitenje' with his faceprint
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Very bold move, very long overdue.
The kwacha was overvalued. Now watch the $$$ become available.
The next decision is to let the Kwacha float freely, no need to fix the exchange rate. Market forces (even if they are small) must determine the rate.
#Times360Malawi
#BreakingNews
The Reserve Bank of Malawi has adjusted the exchange rate of the Malawi Kwacha from a selling rate of K1,180.29 to K1,700 to the US dollar effective November 9, 2023.
#TimesNews
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Ten years from now I want a Journalist to ask me 'what have you done for your country?'. If my answer is not 'We have brought electricity to a quarter million households who would otherwise be in the dark', you should consider me a failure.
#malawi
#electricity4all
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CINEMA IS BACK IN LILONGWE!
Come to the launch of CINEMATIC which will be housed within Crossroads Hotel complex in Lilongwe. See poster for details.
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What is the role of Malawi’s High Commission in London? Especially now with so many problems in Malawi, attending coronation of other people’s King is wasteful. Since 1994, not even a minister of the UK government has attended inauguration ceremony in Malawi.
President Lazarus Chakwera is expected to leave the country tomorrow, May 3 2023, for the United Kingdom to attend the coronation of King Charles III and his wife Camilla—the Queen Consort.
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So Premier League is now available on Amazon Prime for only $8/month. Dstv can now go to hell.
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Peter Mutharika is in the UK. In this picture he is being welcomed by his own delegation. Shaking hands here is his own Chief of Staff. Wtf is this? 😂😂😂
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Have you noticed that most Malawians who go to study their Masters degrees in Europe graduate with distinctions? 2 things: our school is very difficult (to pass) or their school is very easy (to pass).
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There is a Photographer in Lilongwe who I invested in his business in 2016 (I should probably own 60% of his business🤣). Past 4 years, he doesnt respond to any communication from me - even if am just saying Hi. Just 20 RTs and I will drop the whole story and @ him!🤣🤣🤣
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10 years ago, Zain Africa Scholars, when we were young. Today each one of us is responsible in their own right. But today, in a special way, I would like to congratulate Dr Zandi Kankhuni (2nd left) 4 successfly defending his PhD Thesis. Well done young man. You make us proud.
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On this day, a gorgeous, alluring, big hearted and most creative selfless person I know was born. Luckily, I get to spend the rest of my life with her. Sima, I am ecstatically in love with you and always will. Sweet birthday my love.
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1. Dziwe la Nkhalamba
Found on Mulanje Mountain , A number of people have testified to having seen ghosts in human form, swimming at the Dziwe la Nkhalamba pools (Dam of old men). It is believed that just a sight of them bathing at the pools brings you good luck.
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Working overtime.....we are changing how rural Health Centers are powered in Malawi. No person should die bcoz the nearest health facility does not have power to stock vaccines and other medicines. By 31st Jan 2022, 30 facilities will be under
@zuwaenergy
microgrids.
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I captured her in Lilongwe skies. Open the flood gates already...
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@josmkis
No one is complaining about the money buana. Why not just make it ‘$30 on arrival’ and achieve the same objectives with more efficiency, gusto and class? 72 hours prior is backward for “visa free”
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Sometimes
@LAZARUSCHAKWERA
makes really weird decisions. He has this specialty that he can turn himself from hero to zero in a flash….like appointing a retiree, who according to sources is 70yo to man the Immigration Department. What happened to empowering ‘young’ people?
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Some 4 years ago, I chose to be part of the solution, today, our company has 110 full time and full time equivalent employees.
Our promise: We will keep innovating and soon we will be announcing new and exciting products for all Malawians.
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On a serious note, most pple working at MRA dont know anything about taxes aside Stamping and 'am a tax collector'. MRA as an institution hides behind the law - they have the attitude of 'its mandatory, they will come pay'...no innovation, no creativity, no customer care. ZERO
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4. Chilema Tree
The ‘Disabled tree’ is over 108 years old this Banyan tree continues to dazzle many with its bizarre growing patterns. From a distance one would think it’s a forest, imagine one single tree creating a jungle of about 700 square metres and expanding.
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Visit Malawi 🇲🇼. It’s a legal state…❤️
President Lazarus Chakwera has lifted entry visa fees for travellers from 79 countries in an effort to boost tourism and trade in the country.
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Hey
@polymalawi
, your graduates in Bcom/BBA dont know how to use Excel....simple Pivot Tables, VLOOKUP, Logical & Financial formulae. 1 yr after graduation they still cant do Macros. These kids are UNEMPLOYABLE. Whatever you teaching them, pliz teach Excel too. They need it.
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Since
@LAZARUSCHAKWERA
Chakwera became President, the only recruitment which is really working for Malawi is
@DaudSulemann
- the guy is doing the work at MACRA. Thank you Daud. Keep up the work. We appreciate your work.
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William will be Group CEO for the next 30 years, just in time for William's older son to take over. Malawians should learn how to run family busines like the Mpinganjiras.
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@PempheroMphande
It’s not just the $30, it’s the paper work, it’s the 72 hours prior, it’s submission of hotel bookings, airticket. I didn’t need all that bs a few days ago. Most of my trips to Kenya are business trips, so they are mostly decided within a day, now I have to plan for a week.
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Someone I know (I have their number for some reason) has put his girlfriend on WA status captioned, 'congrats my love, degree bagged, I love you'. From my knowledge, this girl, a famous tweep, is dating a different guy on Twitter. Am very very confused, so will mind my business!
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Good morning. Hope you had a great weekend! This is how our weekend was as wedding guests. Dressed by: Wife and Mummie. 😂. Wishing you all a great and productive week.
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Our solar fridge is conquering rural Malawi. You can trust it to work anywhere. No battery, no Escom. Just powered by the sun.
Enjoy the freshness with our Zuwa Chill from your trusted solar champions.
#Jointherevolution
#Solar
#Malawi
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The best thing that the
@MalawiGovt
can do is to suspend some if not all of the fuel levies instead of increasing the fuel prices. Everyone is struggling, and people have already had to deal with price increaments twice in the past 12 months. Suspend the levies.
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#Malawi
. Does anyone know someone or an organisation that is operating a private clinic / health centre within central region and they do not have electricity? (Offgrid). We want to give them solar power. Please ask them to get in touch via info
@zuwaenergymw
.com
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This whole morning, I chaired a panel interviewing for a junior Electrical Engineer position. When asked 'Share us your relevant experience'? This guy responded 'I shared my CV anyway. So everything is there, am sure you read. Didnt you?'
🤣🤣 am convinced its crack!
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Genius Advertiser.🔥
Incase you are looking for someone to tile your property in
#Lilongwe
. Couldn't resist a picture.
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Learnt a new skill. Great way to beat stress. How do you rate my first work?
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2. Mwala wa mphini
Dating back to the Iron Age Mwala wa mphini is a tattooed geographical site situated along the road to Cape Maclear in Mangochi. The name literally translates to “rock marked with tribal scars” because of its numerous tribal marks.
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UPDATE: Black Panther 2 will be showing next after the launch.
CINEMA IS BACK IN LILONGWE!
Come to the launch of CINEMATIC which will be housed within Crossroads Hotel complex in Lilongwe. See poster for details.
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Just finished perusing Malawi Tourism Investment Masterplan. Great doc. Aside too many typos, projecting a lack of seriousness on the part of Ministry officials (graduates - PhDs even 🤣🤣), there are alot of great business opportunities in Malawi's tourism sector. I m ready.
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Macadamia 1kg= K19,800 ~ $25
Tobacco 1kg = K780 ~ $1 (avg price)
Ofcourse the Macadamia has been added value, but I am sure the farmers are not getting $1
Why are we stuck with Tobacco with all these bare mountains around? We could replinish the forests with these cash cows
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📍
When I went to KUHES in 2010, fees was 25,000 and govt sponsored. Now its 1 million. A decision made by losers who went to public Uni for free. Back then all you needed to make it to KUHES was good points, now it's money.
And so the gap between the rich and the poor widens!
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Today we submitted ESMP for solar electrification of health centres project to
@MalawiGovt
. Every Malawian has a right to quality healthcare services, but with no electricity in many parts, storing drugs and staff retention is a challenge. We are investing in our nation.
#solar
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@_wanangwa
Any human being, no matter how vulnerable, deserves respect. We need to ask people what they want/need other than just assume that they want toothpaste and rice.
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2021 Resolution.... Not me not brushing my teeth with SOBO in 2021....It Can't Be
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3. Malape Pillars
Inside Chikala hills in Machinga, Ecologists say that the pillars are a result of rain and sandstorm erosion, locals are certain that the pillars are the making of supernatural powers; it is believed that they were the dwelling place of their ancestors.
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So clear in Cape Maclear 📸
F1, a tunnel would have been dope!
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5. Sapitwa Peak
This is the highest point in Malawi located on Mulanje Mountain. In 2003 and in 2009, 2 tourists have been missing to date after attempting to reach the peak. “No one has ever reached the peak and come back alive”, the locals will assure you.
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This is already being done in Malawi. The same programme in this video is taught in Malawi by a sister organisation to this Kenyan one, it's called Ujamaa Pamodzi Africa. Currently they're implementing in 10 districts funded by UNICEF and TROCAIRE
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My little sister, Marcellina, looked incredibly stunning on her engagement party over the weekend.
#Godwin
.
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I just met a Tweep. Came to drop her CV.
Her: can I see Mr Ntaukira, the CEO?
Me: Sure. What brings you here?
Her: No, I want to meet ur boss directly.
Me: OK. I am.
Her: oohh please, stop. Is he around or not?
Me: He is not
#FiredB4Hired
I am the CEO here! Shud I tag her?
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Meanwhile us living the African dream
The African interior design style ...
Has been perfected by white people ...they embrace it in their “African” homes and commercial properties ...i.e Latitude 13..In Malawi the use of such furniture is a sign of financial instability of an individual
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'Bayala of the Week' vs Covid-19 funds.
Ayi Zikomo.
Live a quite life and no one will care.
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In my other life, am a scientist. Our paper was accepted at the IFIP conference and now it has been published. Congratulations to my co-authors Prof J.K Khomba and Priscilla Maliwichi (PhD candidate at
@UCT_news
).
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COVID-19 Impact
My Father is a Teacher & mum a Queen. Past 6 years, he has been teaching at 1 of top Pvt Xools in Malawi. Due to Covid-19, expectdly the school stopped paying salaries in May. My siblings & I hv had to step up & cover up his full salary...
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@MahaYeg
@PempheroMphande
Many a country had true visa free entry, it wasn’t abused. Plus granting visa free doesn’t mean that aliens will just start flying or driving in - each entry still has limits and in most cases is limited to 30 days.
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I met my wife from morning jogging sessions 7 years ago - we still jog today. I highly recommend 🤣🤣🤣
Who here from area 47 wants to be my jogging buddy?😁 Preferably from sector 5 but if you're in other sectors that's fine😅
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Just saw a truck (couldn't take a picture) with the name 'Zikatha Mkalimaso' (literally translating to: 'when am done eating my money, I will go back to the farm'. It literally put a smile on my face. My nigga! That's the attitude. 🤣
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@PempheroMphande
When you took the loan, was the institution putting it to good use or not? Why do you now care if they are going to put it to good use or not and not care about keeping your commitment? Keep your commitment first, then keep them accountable.
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