Ah yes, my monthly re-up of chipotle plastic forks and napkins

Drowning my sorrows in alcohol for the rest of the night and I’m not looking back, I’m sorry to my girlfriend in advance

Girls get to college, have an identity crisis and do one of 4 things 1. Yoga instructor (most of y’all need a treadmill) 2. Cycling instructor 3. Food instagram 4. “Fashion” Instagram

NOOOOOOO

Pros and Cons of living in my fraternity house Pros: Buddies Easy access to adderall Safe space during parties Milledge ass Even easier access to weed Cons: Broken water heater Broken ice machine Broken elevator My Scumbag buddies who take my socks and boxers (I’ll find you)

@WompEnthusiast Fuck you

Liquid NyQuil, bowl, and Benadryl. Can’t wait to meet this “hat man” guy everyone keeps telling me about

Need a hollow point in my brain and a blowjob, don’t really care in what order

27 PARKE sweatshirts counted in bucees

@elisfruitful Nazi

@justinwking18 Nice

@RonDesacktis Leave the poor kid alone

@elisfruitful Wouldn’t you like to know

RT @itsoverkitten: I’m prob an adderall prescription away from greatness

@centralmcchickn Maybe not call girls birds you Yankee

Raheem Morris count your fucking days

@DubaiFrank_ Crustacean nation

Ever since I saw Sofia Falcone in that yellow dress my knees start to hurt when it rains

@alex__da__lion Glad you and I are on the same page at 2:30am

Mario kart at the bar. Does the dog hunt?