the new york mets are an experiment created by some ivy league university psychology department whose purpose is to measure how long people can be tortured until they break
“carlos correa stubbed his toe when he was 13”
giants: “cancel the deal”
“both of michael conforto’s shoulders are made out of confetti”
giants: “perfect, sign him up!”
the mets always win on opening day and then stink the rest of the year, so perhaps if they do the opposite and lose on opening day, they'll be good the rest of the way. I hope you've enjoyed this george costanza ass logic
jose iglesias forever contract ✍️
sean manaea forever contract ✍️
jesse winker forever contract ✍️
pete alonso forever contract ✍️
everyone gets a forever contract
"I feel that guys should be rewarded for their play, especially when you talk about a team that hasn’t gone to the playoffs in 20 years, and your best prospects are just sitting there watching.’’
Jarred Kelenic is frustrated with the Mariners
the old mets: we'll trade our finest prospects for your closer and also can we have your aging expensive ped offender please and thank you
the new mets: your young superstar shortstop belongs to us now. take these lightly used shortstops and our 8th and 9th best prospects
"When you do testing to that extent, you are going to find more people, you will find more cases. So I said slow the testing down."
—Trump on trying to keep the number of reported COVID cases low
the mets plan to build an entire rotation out of pitchers from long island so that they'll bring all of their friends and family to every home game is genius
whoever tweeted on friday that this series felt like the mets/nats series after the deadline in 2015 except the mets would be playing the part of the nats, congrats on nailing it on the head and also I hate you
wilpons: give us $2.6 billion so we can keep running the team into the ground for 5 years, and also give jeff a raise
cohen: that seems like a bad idea
mlb: mr. cohen, you're being unreasonable here