Kyle Keegan
@realKyleKeegan
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Resist Fascism by any means necessary. Day job: Lawyer. My Tweets: https://t.co/F32Hrn8W7w
Wonderland
Joined September 2020
40 years into the Reaganites’ abandonment of the public school system, we are exactly where the smart people said we would be. 20th in everything instead of 1st. America is the greatest opportunity squandered in human history.
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BREAKING: Trump fired after cash register comes up short in first shift at McDonald’s.
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The hundreds of thousands of infants and toddlers in foster care waiting to find parents think the domestic supply is more than adequate as it is.
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BREAKING: The Democratic Party rejects Joe Manchin’s application for membership.
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The people that spent four years making fun of Biden’s stutter seem a little sensitive today about Trump’s lisp.
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I send this out once a month, because it’s that important.
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I wanna marry the Ukrainian soccer mom who, as we speak, is picking off a Russian general from her apartment window with a .Kalashnikov she took off the corpse of the Russian soldier she killed from behind with her hands this morning.
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The only thing dumber than a MAGAt is a Progressive who votes third-party when Democracy is on the line.
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Republicans: “Why do these people keep having kids they can’t afford?!”. Also Republicans: “Let’s force these people to have more kids they can’t afford!”.
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Can we just declare Christian Nationalism a terrorist organization already?.
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If you think food is expensive now, just imagine if Trump deported all the people that pick our fruits and vegetables.
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Lauren Boebert has to be asking herself, “Was it worth sleeping with Ted Cruz for just one term?”.
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I dont know who needs to hear this, but the search warrant was issued by a federal judge, not by Biden’s DOJ.
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I didn’t even know he was Black. All I ever heard was he’s German. Now all of a sudden he’s Black. Somebody ought to look into this.
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Who else hopes Cipollone flipping on Trump will be like John Dean taking down Nixon?.
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I’m calling it. Blanks, crisis actors, fake blood, and a claim to martyrdom.
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Sounds like Trump at Coachella solved the problem of his crowds leaving early.
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Not sure who needs to hear this, but the Second Amendment never had anything to do with arming citizens to protect themselves against the government.
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BREAKING: Commander Biden invites Kristi Noem for private meeting at White House.
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Mark Meadows’ texts are gonna make Hunter Biden’s laptop look like Mike Lindell’s evidence of voter fraud.
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This seems obvious but I’ll say it. Never trust a gun owner who objects to background checks, registration requirements or red flag laws.
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The videos Trump claimed he would release from the Arlington Cemetery incident are in the same Trump desk drawer as his tax returns, his health care plan, his infrastructure bill, the medical and ballistics reports from his “shooting,” and a bunch of classified documents.
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Turns out Ivermectin is just for horse worms after all.
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Sinema is the poster girl for the evils of dark money.
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I bet Don, Jr.’s burner phone is more interesting than Hunter’s laptop.
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I assumed sex between conservatives was unsatisfying, but I didn’t know it was this bad.
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Please Dear Baby Jesus let Mike Lindell win the RNC Chair.
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First Science, and now Math. MAGA’s struggles continue.
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Alex Jones’ text messages will be everything Republicans wish Hunter Biden’s laptop could be.
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Can we just agree to never elect a businessman as president again?.
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My close friend, David Shreve, who I often refer to as the smartest person I have ever known, explains why voting for Republicans because of “the economy” is completely insane.
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Why aren’t more people asking who is reviewing those 15 boxes from Mar a Lago and what is in them? He didn’t just randomly pack up 15 boxes of documents. Those are the documents he didn’t want discovered.
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Someone remind me of the difference between Donald Trump and Charles Manson.
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God I can’t wait until January 2025 when Hakeem Jeffries strips MTG of all of her committee assignments.
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How is it that Germany was able to ban Nazi flags and symbols decades ago but we still can’t seem to do it?.
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Republicans had no problem at all with gun dealers until we traded one for a gay black American.
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If you have religious objections to getting the vaccine, your New Year’s resolution needs to be to find a new religion.
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Stock market is down over 20% this year, but Exxon just hit an all-time high today. You do the math.
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Mo Brooks wore a Kevlar vest to J6. Maybe now he can tell us what he knew and when he knew it.
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Science, History, Literature, and now Math. What subject will MAGA ban next?.
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BREAKING: Secret Service to claim Major Biden ate the tweets.
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To everyone who has told me over the last six years that calling MAGA Nazis was an exaggeration, I have two things to say: I told you so and you’re welcome.
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BREAKING: James Comer claims to have video surveillance footage of Tim Walz jaywalking in 1997. Hearings to follow.
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Has anyone figured out who ordered the Capitol Police not to fire their weapons? That decision is a real head scratcher for me.
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If there was evidence of a crime by Biden on the laptop, the republicans who claim to have been in possession of it would have released the evidence a long time ago. Who is still falling for this crap?.
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Why doesn’t Trump just do a home equity loan on the $1.5 billion Mar a Lago?.
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For two years prior to the election, you were supposed to go to trial and be “exonerated,” but you and you alone chose to delay.
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I don’t care what Trump’s policies actually are. I’ve already judged him on the content of his character.
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I blame this mass shooting on the mental illness of Republican lawmakers.
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Let’s be clear. Jesus would hate Greg Abbott’s fucking guts.
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He who had sex with Lauren Boebert while she was still married should not cast the first stone.
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BREAKING: Elon Musk gives Tesla engineers until tomorrow at 6:00 p.m. to “make the fucking cars stop catching on fire.”.
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BREAKING: Trump threatens to arrest anyone that tries to stop him from stealing the election.
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It’s time to expand the Supreme Court, and pick five black women to serve.
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BREAKING: Trump orders Mike Johnson to block all hurricane relief legislation and blame it on Biden and Harris.
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The only thing dumber than a MAGAt is a Progressive who votes third-party when Democracy is on the line.
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Surely Mar a Lago has an interior surveillance system, so if the FBI planted evidence, we should have video proof of it by the end of the day today. Right?.
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Garland is entering an advanced level of the investigation. Patience, Grasshoppers.
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I don’t know why Clarence Thomas is taking all the heat. I’m sure he’s only one of three or four Justices that used Ginni as a liaison to the coup planners.
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BREAKING: Jesus was just arrested in Florida for handing out water at a polling station. Easter is cancelled.
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Anthony Fauci just emasculated his detractors and MAGA in general on MSNBC.
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Marge voted against funding border security so she could.impeach Mayorkas for a lack of border security. Do I have that right?.
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Hey, Republicans, if you didn’t want women to work, you shouldn’t have gutted the middle class over the last 40 years and required both parents to earn income to survive.
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When Republicans say Democrats are “weaponizing” the DOJ, what they really mean is Republican politicians should be able to commit crimes without any punishment.
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BREAKING: Mike Lindell just announced that the Trump Reinstatement is postponed until he gets his phone back.
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I can’t get enough of this guy. “Ukraine has shown who they are. Russia has shown what they’ve become.” —Zelenskyy.
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I wonder if there’s any connection between the Saudis financing Musk’s purchase and Twitter’s sudden tolerance for anti-semitism.
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“I barely know that loser Steve Bannon”— Trump, tomorrow.
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It’s looks like the Wagner Tourist Group is planning a peaceful protest in the Kremlin.
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I said a lot of harsh things about Trump while he was in office, but now I realize, after calm reflection, that they weren’t harsh enough.
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Is anyone else tired of hearing MAGA use the word “Patriot” to mean white supremacist redneck criminals?.
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How much longer can the U.S. possibly stay off the U.N. Human Rights watch list?.
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MAGA’s transition from “We’re not Fascists!” to “What’s wrong with Fascism?” is now complete.
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Zelenskyy’s skills as an orator make Donald Trump look like Herschel Walker.
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Claiming that giving a black woman a seat on the Supreme Court is racist … is racist. And it proves why we need one.
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China, Russia and Iran, combined, don’t pose one-tenth the threat to America as MAGA does.
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MAGA is no longer even pretending that it’s end game is not ethnic cleansing and genocide.
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I don’t know what Dark Brandon smoked before his speech today, but I hope to god he doesn’t run out of it.
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Elon going down for an “illegal lottery” would be like Al Capone going down for tax evasion.
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When did mainstream media become a bunch of fascist whores?.
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Are all Republicans just going to be sore losers from now on forever?
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Donald Trump is despised worldwide, except for a few dictators and a shrinking mob of mouth-breathing criminals. There, fixed it for you, Nick.
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Today the crowd that “backs the blue” but wants to defund the FBI wants us to remember 9/11 but forget about J6.
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So I guess if SCOTUS reverses Colorado and says Trump has absolute immunity for acts as President, then Dark Brandon would be free to suspend the Constitution and deploy the Military to take over the Red States.
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Mark Meadows’ texts are gonna make Hunter Biden’s laptop look like Tucker Carlson’s evidence of voter fraud.
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Maduro calls to stop the vote count, then proclaims he won an election he lost. Next he’ll fake his own shooting.
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If a charge under the Espionage Act doesn’t put a dent in Trump’s poll numbers, then we’ll know for sure that whole “Patriot” thing is just a bunch of bullshit.
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Violence at polling places? What kind of third-world shit-hole country has Trump turned us into?.
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I bet MTG’s (soon-to-be) ex-husband knows some stuff. Let’s hope this divorce is messy.
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“Because of you, okay? They learned it from watching you.”
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BREAKING: Marjorie Taylor Greene unwittingly initiates the process to have herself removed from Congress.
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