My new book, FALLING BACK IN LOVE WITH BEING HUMAN is coming out in August! . “Kai Cheng Thom embodies revolutionary love. She shows us how to love others bravely” —Valarie Kaur. Pre-order:

I'm sorry you thought PRIDE meant "love is love." In fact, PRIDE was a stigmatized political protest decrying state violence & cultural dehumanization directed at social undesirables, which at the time included all those perceived as sexual deviants 1/4.

Me: I try to please ppl bc I'm afraid they will get mad at me. Therapist: And what's the worst case scenario that could happen if they did get mad at you? . Me: They'd denounce me as a perverted "man in a dress" and whip the villagers into a murderous frenzy. Therapist: I see.

Years ago I saw a tweet somewhere from a trans woman that was like, "I love to say hi to cis women and say 'it's so amazing to meet another trans woman in this space!' and then watch their reactions of horror" and I still think about it to this day.

PRIDE meant "no more police violence towards trans prostitutes, bathhouse and bar raids, or forced conversion therapy." You would have been scared of PRIDE then, just as you are scared of it now. The PRIDE you are describing is a fantasy. 2/4.

And to you, PRIDE shouldn't include trans people at all. But PRIDE has always included us and our "deviance" and to throw back to an actually historic PRIDE slogan, we are here, we are queer, and you are going to have to get used to it because we aren't going anywhere.

Because "love is love" as a politic is a co-optation of PRIDE by the most conservative & assimilationist elements of our communities in a desperate attempt to curry mainstream favor. To you, PRIDE means "love is love" means "gay people should act like straight people" 3/4.

This year, I was invited to be the keynote at U of T's memorial of the horrific massacre of 14 women at Polytechnique. The choice to invite me has proven controversial because I am trans. May the spirit of compassion that lives in us all lead us to solidarity & a better world.

I transitioned, came out & started publishing articles in the early 2010s. There was a cohort of amazing trans women of color writers at the time, all indie or self-published, pushing boundaries & redefining public discourse. Most of those creators are no longer active today.

Gender critical & trans-exclusionary radical feminism can try to brand themselves as "punk" & anti-establishment but honestly nothing could be further from the truth bc like all carceral feminisms, they are simply old-school conservatism dressed up in feminist clothing 🧵.

Repost from 2022: So much of the queer community's stance towards trans women/femmes is "be my perfect sexy yet proper, grounded yet youthful, radical yet non-threatening, inspiring yet humble, well-spoken yet down-to-earth mommy-girlfriend, or we'll call you a man and kill you".

If a teenager tells their teacher that they are pregnant, should that teacher be legally obligated to inform their parents in 24 hours, even without the youth's consent? Or should the teacher focus on connecting that youth to competent, trustworthy healthcare professionals?.

An article I wrote on adolescent gender transition is out today in @thewalrus. This piece is near to my heart - I've worked in trans youth care for over 12 years & the topic has only become more controversial over time.

Actually this is a photograph of me after 10 years working in the non profit industrial complex.

How dare trans women speak about ourselves at all. How dare we speak. How dare we even think or do anything except breathe quietly and stand in for whatever symbolic role other people want us in next.

Part of the problem is that community, like family, can abuse you while taking care of you.

As it happens, even the choices we make under constraint still have moral weight & impact others. It is perhaps especially those choices that define who we are. And as it also happens, choosing sex work or retail & choosing to kill people for the state are not morally equivalent.

Let's start with the basics: This is a terrifying moment for a great many people, esp those whose rights are directly in the line of fire. At the same time, for a great many more people, the worst possible violence and tragedy was already happening under a Dem administration 1/5.

It's truly fascinating to me that @ the height of MeToo, so many conservatives went to massive lengths calling for due process & restraint around claims of sexual harm. Now, a handful of years later, a trans person dares to use the washroom & it's "throw the groomer in jail".

Thanks for putting this quote online - it's an idea that remains extremely important and a source of ongoing inquiry for me.

It's only been about 10 years, and it feels like my cohort is mostly gone. There have been new waves of trans woman/femme writers that have come up since, many amazing, and a few making big publishing deals. I'm so happy for that. It's a strange mix of emotions.

There was like 30 seconds in 2016 where it felt like the contributions of trans women & fems to social change was recognized alongside the barriers we experience in day to day life. God, it's sad to see where things are now. So many voices I treasured have gone silent.

We wrote for outlets like Everyday Feminism (lol), BGD, The Body Is Not An Apology, etc. We also wrote a lot on our personal blogs, Wordpress or Tumblr style, and some of created micro-presses or zines for print. It was an exciting time.

And now sometimes I pick up a micropress publication that felt life-changing in 2014 & look for the author online & find their website deactivated. Links I saved to TWOC online content that went viral in 2016 are dead. It's sad.

Why do we treat gender identity as though it is inherently different from other health and psychological safety issues, where appropriate disclosure to parents and guardians is ALWAYS balanced with safety considerations and the rights of the child?.

As a trans woman or trans fem(me) of color, it was scary but also felt like there was finally a reckoning starting around trans femme rights. as a new indie writer, rising stars like Janet Mock & Laverne Cox didn't feel very far away at all - just one degree of separation away.

Of all the controversial and polarizing subjects out there, I really wish that vast income disparities, the opioid crisis, the housing crisis, or pretty much any other fucking thing got half as much attention from washed up celebs as trans people's right to public participation.

It is well known that I am one of those cringey "dialogue" people. I believe in cross-partisan dialogue. I believe in dialogue with "problematic" individuals. What I do not believe in is denigrating one's own identity group as a ticket into the world of centrist discourse.

@seanajune indeed. also to call all straight men "they/them".

If a migrant child wants to go by "Johnny" in a classroom instead of their legal name, "Jun-Hee," is this considered a major developmental issue that demands a parental conference and psychological surveillance?.

I have recently noticed an upswing in (mostly white) queer self-proclaimed activists referencing I HOPE WE CHOOSE LOVE as an "optimist" text in contradiction to other, more apparently "pessimist" or "negative" texts & all I can say is, they must not have read the damn book.