I got pulled out of bucket for Potluck at @ComedyStoreLJ . For my three minutes I took the opportunity to talk about Pink Floyd, Marty McFly and refugees. #comedy

RT @MenInBlazers: WESTON MCKENNIE CHAMPIONS LEAGUE BANGER FOR JUVENTUS. NEARLY IMPOSSIBLE TO STRIKE A BALL MORE SWEETLY THAN THIS 🇺🇸💥 https…

I look like if Dr. Strange and Wong had a baby and stuffed him in the body of the hispanic Spider-Man.

Us Not Like They. I’m team Edward. We sparkle like diamonds in the sun.

RT @luisjgomez: If you take They Not Like Us out of it… Drake > Kendrick Lamar

Everytime you hear a Tesla bottoming out entering a parking lot, an angel gets its wings.

Come tap into my consciousness at these upcoming comedy gigs. I’ll be competing at One Liner Madness at Adams Avenue Theater. Then I will be dipping my toes at my first gig at @NLYellowDoor Time to be verbally violent for @RoastBattle at @ComedyStoreLJ #comedy #sandiego

RT @GregFitzShow: If you’re not outraged, then you’re not paying attention.

Midweek verbal violence with Roast Battles at The Comedy Store. @RoasBattle @ComedyStoreLJ #roastbattle

Irish whiskey makes the hateful words come off more affable and comedic. #comedy #whiskey

My main problem with Wicked is it doesn’t sync up with any of the Pink Floyd albums. #wicked #PinkFloyd

I was driving on the highway thinking about the POV that Bees have. How they see humans as refractions of light. I was thinking how it could be easy for them to mistake humans as flowers depending the vibrations they’re omitting. As I’m pondering this, I get stung by a bee #bees

RT @BobbyFreemanUS: @unusual_whales Buy the dip.

I’ve been watching the neighborhood kid taking shots at the basketball hoop across the street. He has been missing and airballing every shot. I admire his commitment to get better. He’s still trying. Even as I type this he’s… Nevermind. He just gave up and went inside.

RT @mikestenger: Okay, can someone get this guy outta here?! #Border2Fire

When they finally scored in the 90th, the lad genuinely celebrated like they won the league. Good on you Mister couldn’t have or could’ve been Ed Sheeran. Well done lad. 2/2 @LFC @edsheeran @IpswichTown

Pontificating the crossroads of where the economics of baseball and foreign policy meet at @quantumbrewing #comedy #sandiego

RT @stevemcomedy: @randywrites @MC_LXIX__ We do need a man of your origin on our team

@stevemcomedy @MC_LXIX__ Lumpia in the fortress and I’ll move back to Vegas. Miss you cats bruddah!