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Rachel Haynes Profile
Rachel Haynes

@rachelbh11

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311
Following
619
Media
200
Statuses
2,450

#kidlit author | #SCBWI | represented by @joycegrackle at the @seymouragency | she/her | profile pic by @sagekozub

Salt Lake City, UT
Joined September 2010
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@rachelbh11
Rachel Haynes
4 years
Delighted to announce that I'm now represented by @JoyceGrackle ! Good day all around!
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@rachelbh11
Rachel Haynes
1 year
My bf is great but every night his mom opens his window, crawls across his floor, picks him up and sings him a lullaby. She rocks him back and forth, which is crazy because he is a great big man! I said I’m leaving but he thinks this is a sweet mother/son tradition, AITA
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@rachelbh11
Rachel Haynes
4 years
15 years ago my car got stuck in the mud on the way to school. A cute stranger in a tractor found me and pulled me out. I never saw him again and years later I married Ben instead. Happy anniversary Ben and happy Thursday to that tractor guy wherever he is
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@rachelbh11
Rachel Haynes
3 years
@BenWinslow @Ch_JesusChrist @fox13 My great great uncle, Emil Fetzer, was the original architect. He said the design came to him in a dream. This is the only time anyone might care about this on Twitter.
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@rachelbh11
Rachel Haynes
5 months
My most BYU story is witnessing a marriage proposal In my Randy Bott mission prep class In a windowless lecture hall in the SWKT I have tried for years to think of something less romantic and I have failed
@Swilua
🌈Dr. Frizzle
2 years
the most BYU story I have is probably that time I broke up with my fiancé in April and in August he married another girl with our temple appointment
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@rachelbh11
Rachel Haynes
3 years
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@rachelbh11
Rachel Haynes
3 years
@sarahjaeleiber My mom directed Music Man in our middle school. The week before the performance she said "Townspeople you need to be mad at Harold Hill here! He conned you!" and the entire cast said, "whut" They had no idea he was a con man. After MONTHS.
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@rachelbh11
Rachel Haynes
1 year
Delighted that the fashion gods are making Teen Girl Squad’s “Three Piece?!!” swimsuit a reality
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@rachelbh11
Rachel Haynes
1 year
@devpetty It is but he has a full head of hair AND a dimple so idk what to do
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@rachelbh11
Rachel Haynes
2 years
@Austen1stDrafts "Friends, I don’t object to sexiness qua sexiness, but Jane Eyre is a book about ugly people."
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@rachelbh11
Rachel Haynes
3 years
@JocAPhotography Black-capped Chickadee on my Christmas stocking-in-progress 😊
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@rachelbh11
Rachel Haynes
2 years
@EliMcCann My most BYU story is witnessing a marriage proposal...during my Randy Bott mission prep class...in a windowless assembly room in the swkt. the SWKT.
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@rachelbh11
Rachel Haynes
2 years
@EliMcCann Ah, the 9th and 9th wail
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@rachelbh11
Rachel Haynes
4 years
A little self-promotion is okay, right? Thank you #pbfest for a great event! And thank you @CoreyPBNinja and @GomezWrites !
@JustinRColon
Justin Colón
4 years
CONGRATULATIONS, @rachelbh11 ; you are one of the GRAND PRIZE winners for the giveaway with @CoreyPBNinja and @GomezWrites ! You've won a critique from Rebecca. Please email me at justin @Justincolonbooks .com to claim your prize : ) #PBFest #PBChat
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@rachelbh11
Rachel Haynes
4 years
@ProfMSinha @spectator @TheAmandaGorman So much dumb here but I can't get past "correcting" change to changes when clearly... love = our legacy and change = our children's birthright Willfully dim for sure.
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@rachelbh11
Rachel Haynes
3 years
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@rachelbh11
Rachel Haynes
3 years
I keep thinking of my Omi's childhood in and escape from the USSR, and I'm grateful to @EliMcCann for recording her story. 💙 If you need to hear something about hope and resilience, give it a listen. (Her interview starts around the 13 minute mark.)
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@rachelbh11
Rachel Haynes
2 years
@Austen1stDrafts Mary Crawford hands down
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@rachelbh11
Rachel Haynes
1 year
@astridkamalyan Fully deranged behavior
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@rachelbh11
Rachel Haynes
1 year
Girlfriend has VOICE
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@rachelbh11
Rachel Haynes
7 months
@EliMcCann My 2nd grade teacher loved birds. He taught us reading, writing, nuthatches, red winged blackbirds, grebes, plovers, terns, coots, great blue herons. Our class pet was an invisible parrot. The best people are gentle and silly & love things unashamedly and make you love them too
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@rachelbh11
Rachel Haynes
4 years
@ShelbyHintze Going out? Cover your snout
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@rachelbh11
Rachel Haynes
8 months
Love the original bog post Love the “warning about the bog” pushback to the bog post Love the “pushback to the pushback about the bog” bog posts What I’m saying is I am a fan of bog content
@JennyENicholson
Jenny Nicholson
8 months
Me n the boys out at the bog getting possessed by malevolent entities that also like to hang out doing backflips at the bog
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@rachelbh11
Rachel Haynes
2 years
Love pouring oat milk on my oatmeal like a bougie horse
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@rachelbh11
Rachel Haynes
4 years
Finished my first draft for #fallwritingfrenzy and, more significantly, was brave enough to share it with a critique partner! Thank you @KaitlynLeann17 and @LydiaLukidis ! Maybe this will push me to create a website too?? #kidlit
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@rachelbh11
Rachel Haynes
1 year
One had a daring escape from East Germany. Here's her daughter talking about it. Starts at 13 minutes CW starvation thank you again @EliMcCann , this recording is a family treasure 💙
@RacingKate
kate
1 year
forget telling me about your dad, tell me about your great-grandmothers
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@rachelbh11
Rachel Haynes
5 years
4yo: why are you sad Mommy? Me: nobody is liking my #PBPitch pitches 4yo: I'll like your pitches, mom... If they're good. . . 4yo: *are* they good Mom?
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@rachelbh11
Rachel Haynes
2 years
When I was a kid my parents rented Camelot and halfway through my 6yo bother said, remember in the *real* King Arthur when they use coconuts
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@rachelbh11
Rachel Haynes
2 years
@Amy_theAuthor The Girl who Drank the Moon was 2016, but I have thought about it every day since the Uvalde shooting. Spoilers! The metaphor of child sacrifice for the benefit of those in charge feeding on sorrow is so spot on.
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@rachelbh11
Rachel Haynes
3 years
@jennieology I made this! Not sure what to do with it now
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@rachelbh11
Rachel Haynes
4 years
Recipe: Transfer to another dish Me: No ❤️
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@rachelbh11
Rachel Haynes
9 months
Impossible to pick a 30 rock joke but the name of Jenna’s boat college gets funnier every time I hear it
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@rachelbh11
Rachel Haynes
3 years
@EliMcCann Eli did you forget how many straight women follow you
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@rachelbh11
Rachel Haynes
7 months
@EliMcCann My dad recorded the births of all four kids and then taped over my sister's with a 49ers game 💀💀💀💀 Naturally we told her she was adopted
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@rachelbh11
Rachel Haynes
2 years
@EliMcCann @BenWinslow Taking a 45 minute shower to celebrate
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@rachelbh11
Rachel Haynes
2 years
Sick and heartbroken that my letter to @SenatorRomney is as relevant as ever. 14 children. Immediately after 10 people shopping for food.
@MegMorleyWalter
Meg Walter
3 years
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@rachelbh11
Rachel Haynes
3 years
@EliMcCann Giuseppe or spinsterhood
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@rachelbh11
Rachel Haynes
3 years
"Your turkey is dry and your salad is weird" --Candid Yams
@mustachetoilet
george slopadopolus
3 years
Reveal your cultural biases....go!
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@rachelbh11
Rachel Haynes
4 years
@emilybrownmusic We got a full-on "letter" thanking us for staying pure and faithful signed "your future husband"
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@rachelbh11
Rachel Haynes
3 months
Remembering the time I showed my 5yo this towel and she said, “I don’t think that’s true” And I said, “oh? 🥰” And she said, “I think it’s easy for you”
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@rachelbh11
Rachel Haynes
10 months
My daughter’s foot was asleep and I said why don’t we give it some coffee and she said my foot can’t drink coffee and I said for religious reasons? and she didn’t even laugh. My talents are being wasted
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@rachelbh11
Rachel Haynes
2 years
Thinking of @MegMorleyWalter
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@rachelbh11
Rachel Haynes
4 years
@EliMcCann Kwakwho?
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@rachelbh11
Rachel Haynes
4 years
My 5yo keeps asking for a baby brother and when I asked her why she said without hesitation: "I want to play with his fingers." Honestly not sure she could have made a more compelling argument.
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@rachelbh11
Rachel Haynes
2 years
Husband thought that the Container Store was the same as Crate & Barrel Because, and I quote, “crates and barrels are containers”
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@rachelbh11
Rachel Haynes
3 years
@showmetheyamz The military would be totally gay-bones for each other
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@rachelbh11
Rachel Haynes
4 years
@emmaspacelynn What's the word on leggings, unwashed hair and the 😭 emoji?
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@rachelbh11
Rachel Haynes
1 year
Happy anniversary to my best tweet! Writing you was the best thing I ever did. Love you so much. So proud to call you mine 💙
@rachelbh11
Rachel Haynes
4 years
15 years ago my car got stuck in the mud on the way to school. A cute stranger in a tractor found me and pulled me out. I never saw him again and years later I married Ben instead. Happy anniversary Ben and happy Thursday to that tractor guy wherever he is
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@rachelbh11
Rachel Haynes
10 months
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@rachelbh11
Rachel Haynes
4 years
Twitter: It's ok to not be productive during a pandemic ❤️ My brain: but it's not ok for *you*
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@rachelbh11
Rachel Haynes
2 years
@iproposethis Paddington 2 and Babe are both masterpieces
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@rachelbh11
Rachel Haynes
2 years
Would it be weird to tell each and every woman in this coffee shop that I like her sweater? Should I just stand in the table and make an announcement?
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@rachelbh11
Rachel Haynes
3 months
A moment of silence for my friend, whose son threw up in the Lego bin
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@rachelbh11
Rachel Haynes
4 years
"work out" is a verb "workout" is a noun Thank you for coming to my TED talk
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@rachelbh11
Rachel Haynes
9 months
My SIL bought a piano for my brother for Christmas. She is disguising it thus. It’s been 24 hours and he hasn’t noticed
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@rachelbh11
Rachel Haynes
5 months
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@rachelbh11
Rachel Haynes
10 months
My blackout rejection letter 🥰
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@rachelbh11
Rachel Haynes
1 year
He told me his son would be named Vern the Fourth and I thought, my son will definitely not be named Vern the Fourth
@PicturesFoIder
non aesthetic things
1 year
What is the worst date you have ever been on?
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@rachelbh11
Rachel Haynes
4 years
@madihamberger My highschool crush helped start a new religion (cult?) 🥰 he was very charismatic
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@rachelbh11
Rachel Haynes
3 years
Colonel Brandon marries Mrs. Dashwood. She's what, 39? He's 36? And she has 3 hot daughters. There's no way she's not a fox. They are very happy and he does not ever think about Marianne in any creepy way. 6/
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@rachelbh11
Rachel Haynes
3 years
When I get home I take off my fancy sweatpants and put on my comfy sweatpants
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@rachelbh11
Rachel Haynes
2 years
Remembering when Kid #1 drew this very accurate portrait of Kid #2
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@rachelbh11
Rachel Haynes
1 year
@souljagoytellem Oh boy it’s time to link The Toast again!
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@rachelbh11
Rachel Haynes
3 years
@Swilua Recently learned about this pretty lady
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@rachelbh11
Rachel Haynes
4 years
@haleshannon Deep into that darkness peering Long I stood there wondering fearing Doubting dreaming dreams no mortal ever dared to dream before But the silence was unbroken And the stillness gave no token And the only word there spoken was the whispered word “Four Seasons Total Landscaping?”
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@rachelbh11
Rachel Haynes
4 years
My #FallWritingFrenzy entry is in! Find it in the comments section here: If you're in the mood for something eerie, give it a read. Thank you so much to @KaitlynLeann17 , @LydiaLukidis , and all the donors!
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@rachelbh11
Rachel Haynes
2 years
@Abruptly_Austen Sharing my hot takes re-pairings of love interests!
@rachelbh11
Rachel Haynes
3 years
About once a year a write a list of all the #JaneAusten heroines & all their love interests and re-match them to be better suited to each other. It's a little different every time. Join me and tell me why I'm wrong about each match-up! (I'm right) 1/
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@rachelbh11
Rachel Haynes
4 years
They say the best time to plant a tree is 20 years ago and the second best time is now But really the second best time is 19 years and 364 days ago
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@rachelbh11
Rachel Haynes
2 years
@itsabsaf Gilead by Marilynne Robinson
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@rachelbh11
Rachel Haynes
2 years
My 5yo stabbed me in the back with her paper airplane and I said, “et tu, airplane” and she did not laugh at all???
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@rachelbh11
Rachel Haynes
4 years
I would call 4yo's unicorn cupcake an unparalleled success
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@rachelbh11
Rachel Haynes
4 years
I had a literal dream about the #fallwritingfrenzy last night so I guess both my conscious and subconscious are excited. @LydiaLukidis @KaitlynLeann17 #kidlit
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@rachelbh11
Rachel Haynes
2 years
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@rachelbh11
Rachel Haynes
1 year
My grandma is planning a 600 mile road trip with her friend to go see an opera. Coincidentally I have a new idea for a novel
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@rachelbh11
Rachel Haynes
3 years
@ReemFaruqi 11th grade English teacher: "You're still the best writer I ever had." 😭😭😭😭💙💙💙 Now I have an agent and I'm going for it, thank you Ms. Sommers!!
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@rachelbh11
Rachel Haynes
2 years
@EliMcCann Are you volunteering surrogate grandparency because I would absolutely take you up on that
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@rachelbh11
Rachel Haynes
5 months
Obscenely pleased with myself
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@rachelbh11
Rachel Haynes
2 years
Wordle 413 1/6 🟩🟩🟩🟩🟩 Good omen for the weekend!
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@rachelbh11
Rachel Haynes
3 years
4yo wants Mac and Cheese, "the kind that's bad for the environment" (translation: not the vegan disaster I attempted)
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@rachelbh11
Rachel Haynes
4 years
Haven't seen my car keys in days. Hope they're doing well and staying healthy
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@rachelbh11
Rachel Haynes
2 years
Told my sister the tile guy was cute and this was the result
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@rachelbh11
Rachel Haynes
2 years
@LindseyERONeil I would defer to @daniel_m_lavery ’s impeccable reading
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@rachelbh11
Rachel Haynes
3 years
@StarleeKine Every six months I listen to your Britney episode and cry
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@rachelbh11
Rachel Haynes
1 year
Sometimes I feel unreasonably sad that the moon is moving slowly away from us but I would do that too if I were her tbh
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@rachelbh11
Rachel Haynes
4 years
Are we supposed to just know when Jesus comes or do we have to go outside and check #utearthquake
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@rachelbh11
Rachel Haynes
4 years
@madpetersen @rachelsteenblik What are you doing that's the tooth fairy's job
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@rachelbh11
Rachel Haynes
4 years
@ruthanne_snow I have been sitting on this joke for a year
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@rachelbh11
Rachel Haynes
2 years
@fourwhitetrees Saying again that I ship Colonel Brandon and Mrs Dashwood. And Emma is gay
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@rachelbh11
Rachel Haynes
5 months
Outmaneuver vulgar widows, flirt with and marry their young traveling companions, and bring them to their estate to unravel the mystery of their first wife's death under the eye of their sinister housekeeper
@theTWHoward
Thomas W. Howard
5 months
What did solo diners do before cell phones?
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@rachelbh11
Rachel Haynes
2 years
@j_n_foster I think about this blog post detailing the failings of world vs park all the time:
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@rachelbh11
Rachel Haynes
8 months
Extravagant and classy celebration for finishing a manuscript. (Also eating CheezIts Ridges straight from my coat pocket)
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@rachelbh11
Rachel Haynes
3 years
Emma is gay, you guys! This is fairly obvious. She has the means to live on her own with whichever beautiful woman strikes her fancy. Harriet is too straight and dumb though. I suggest Mary Crawford. Emma can teach Mary about charity. Mary can show Emma around London! 7/
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@rachelbh11
Rachel Haynes
2 years
Cupbop staff at Fashion Place Mall skipped right over quiet quitting @FashionPlcMall @cupboptruck
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@rachelbh11
Rachel Haynes
3 years
My husband vacuumed under the couch cushions??? Where I was keeping all my hair ties and bobby pins?????? WTF
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@rachelbh11
Rachel Haynes
4 years
@EliMcCann How did you know this... about my Facebook... before I did? 🤨 Eli McPlann?
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@rachelbh11
Rachel Haynes
10 days
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@clhubes
Lucy Huber
11 days
Finding their toys in little scenes or ways they've set them up after they've gone to sleep just about does me in every time.
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@rachelbh11
Rachel Haynes
3 years
My little sister just got a google scholar alert for her own work 😊 I'm so proud of her
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@rachelbh11
Rachel Haynes
2 years
@Austen1stDrafts This cut me right down to size
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@rachelbh11
Rachel Haynes
3 years
@EliMcCann Brad does NOT condone being female
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