Rachel Haynes
@rachelbh11
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Following
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#kidlit author | #SCBWI | represented by @joycegrackle at the @seymouragency | she/her | profile pic by @sagekozub
Salt Lake City, UT
Joined September 2010
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Delighted to announce that I'm now represented by
@JoyceGrackle
! Good day all around!
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My bf is great but every night his mom opens his window, crawls across his floor, picks him up and sings him a lullaby. She rocks him back and forth, which is crazy because he is a great big man!
I said I’m leaving but he thinks this is a sweet mother/son tradition, AITA
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15 years ago my car got stuck in the mud on the way to school. A cute stranger in a tractor found me and pulled me out.
I never saw him again and years later I married Ben instead. Happy anniversary Ben and happy Thursday to that tractor guy wherever he is
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@BenWinslow
@Ch_JesusChrist
@fox13
My great great uncle, Emil Fetzer, was the original architect. He said the design came to him in a dream. This is the only time anyone might care about this on Twitter.
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My most BYU story is witnessing a marriage proposal
In my Randy Bott mission prep class
In a windowless lecture hall in the SWKT
I have tried for years to think of something less romantic and I have failed
the most BYU story I have is probably that time I broke up with my fiancé in April and in August he married another girl with our temple appointment
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@sarahjaeleiber
My mom directed Music Man in our middle school. The week before the performance she said "Townspeople you need to be mad at Harold Hill here! He conned you!" and the entire cast said, "whut"
They had no idea he was a con man. After MONTHS.
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Delighted that the fashion gods are making Teen Girl Squad’s “Three Piece?!!” swimsuit a reality
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@Austen1stDrafts
"Friends, I don’t object to sexiness qua sexiness, but Jane Eyre is a book about ugly people."
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@EliMcCann
My most BYU story is witnessing a marriage proposal...during my Randy Bott mission prep class...in a windowless assembly room in the swkt. the SWKT.
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A little self-promotion is okay, right? Thank you
#pbfest
for a great event! And thank you
@CoreyPBNinja
and
@GomezWrites
!
CONGRATULATIONS,
@rachelbh11
; you are one of the GRAND PRIZE winners for the giveaway with
@CoreyPBNinja
and
@GomezWrites
! You've won a critique from Rebecca. Please email me at justin
@Justincolonbooks
.com to claim your prize : )
#PBFest
#PBChat
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@ProfMSinha
@spectator
@TheAmandaGorman
So much dumb here but I can't get past "correcting" change to changes when clearly...
love = our legacy and
change = our children's birthright
Willfully dim for sure.
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I keep thinking of my Omi's childhood in and escape from the USSR, and I'm grateful to
@EliMcCann
for recording her story. 💙
If you need to hear something about hope and resilience, give it a listen.
(Her interview starts around the 13 minute mark.)
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@EliMcCann
My 2nd grade teacher loved birds. He taught us reading, writing, nuthatches, red winged blackbirds, grebes, plovers, terns, coots, great blue herons. Our class pet was an invisible parrot.
The best people are gentle and silly & love things unashamedly and make you love them too
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Love the original bog post
Love the “warning about the bog” pushback to the bog post
Love the “pushback to the pushback about the bog” bog posts
What I’m saying is I am a fan of bog content
Me n the boys out at the bog getting possessed by malevolent entities that also like to hang out doing backflips at the bog
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Finished my first draft for
#fallwritingfrenzy
and, more significantly, was brave enough to share it with a critique partner!
Thank you
@KaitlynLeann17
and
@LydiaLukidis
! Maybe this will push me to create a website too??
#kidlit
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One had a daring escape from East Germany. Here's her daughter talking about it. Starts at 13 minutes
CW starvation
thank you again
@EliMcCann
, this recording is a family treasure 💙
forget telling me about your dad, tell me about your great-grandmothers
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4yo: why are you sad Mommy?
Me: nobody is liking my
#PBPitch
pitches
4yo: I'll like your pitches, mom... If they're good.
.
.
4yo: *are* they good Mom?
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When I was a kid my parents rented Camelot and halfway through my 6yo bother said, remember in the *real* King Arthur when they use coconuts
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@Amy_theAuthor
The Girl who Drank the Moon was 2016, but I have thought about it every day since the Uvalde shooting.
Spoilers!
The metaphor of child sacrifice for the benefit of those in charge feeding on sorrow is so spot on.
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Impossible to pick a 30 rock joke but the name of Jenna’s boat college gets funnier every time I hear it
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@EliMcCann
My dad recorded the births of all four kids and then taped over my sister's with a 49ers game 💀💀💀💀
Naturally we told her she was adopted
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Sick and heartbroken that my letter to
@SenatorRomney
is as relevant as ever. 14 children. Immediately after 10 people shopping for food.
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"Your turkey is dry and your salad is weird" --Candid Yams
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@emilybrownmusic
We got a full-on "letter" thanking us for staying pure and faithful signed "your future husband"
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Remembering the time I showed my 5yo this towel and she said, “I don’t think that’s true”
And I said, “oh? 🥰”
And she said, “I think it’s easy for you”
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My daughter’s foot was asleep and I said why don’t we give it some coffee and she said my foot can’t drink coffee and I said for religious reasons? and she didn’t even laugh. My talents are being wasted
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My 5yo keeps asking for a baby brother and when I asked her why she said without hesitation:
"I want to play with his fingers."
Honestly not sure she could have made a more compelling argument.
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Husband thought that the Container Store was the same as Crate & Barrel
Because, and I quote, “crates and barrels are containers”
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Happy anniversary to my best tweet! Writing you was the best thing I ever did.
Love you so much. So proud to call you mine 💙
15 years ago my car got stuck in the mud on the way to school. A cute stranger in a tractor found me and pulled me out.
I never saw him again and years later I married Ben instead. Happy anniversary Ben and happy Thursday to that tractor guy wherever he is
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Twitter: It's ok to not be productive during a pandemic ❤️
My brain: but it's not ok for *you*
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Would it be weird to tell each and every woman in this coffee shop that I like her sweater? Should I just stand in the table and make an announcement?
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A moment of silence for my friend, whose son threw up in the Lego bin
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"work out" is a verb
"workout" is a noun
Thank you for coming to my TED talk
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My SIL bought a piano for my brother for Christmas. She is disguising it thus. It’s been 24 hours and he hasn’t noticed
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He told me his son would be named Vern the Fourth and I thought, my son will definitely not be named Vern the Fourth
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@madihamberger
My highschool crush helped start a new religion (cult?) 🥰 he was very charismatic
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Colonel Brandon marries Mrs. Dashwood. She's what, 39? He's 36? And she has 3 hot daughters. There's no way she's not a fox. They are very happy and he does not ever think about Marianne in any creepy way. 6/
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When I get home I take off my fancy sweatpants and put on my comfy sweatpants
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@haleshannon
Deep into that darkness peering
Long I stood there wondering fearing
Doubting dreaming dreams no mortal ever dared to dream before
But the silence was unbroken
And the stillness gave no token
And the only word there spoken was the whispered word “Four Seasons Total Landscaping?”
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My
#FallWritingFrenzy
entry is in! Find it in the comments section here:
If you're in the mood for something eerie, give it a read.
Thank you so much to
@KaitlynLeann17
,
@LydiaLukidis
, and all the donors!
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@Abruptly_Austen
Sharing my hot takes re-pairings of love interests!
About once a year a write a list of all the
#JaneAusten
heroines & all their love interests and re-match them to be better suited to each other. It's a little different every time. Join me and tell me why I'm wrong about each match-up! (I'm right) 1/
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They say the best time to plant a tree is 20 years ago and the second best time is now
But really the second best time is 19 years and 364 days ago
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My 5yo stabbed me in the back with her paper airplane and I said, “et tu, airplane” and she did not laugh at all???
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I had a literal dream about the
#fallwritingfrenzy
last night so I guess both my conscious and subconscious are excited.
@LydiaLukidis
@KaitlynLeann17
#kidlit
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My grandma is planning a 600 mile road trip with her friend to go see an opera.
Coincidentally I have a new idea for a novel
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@ReemFaruqi
11th grade English teacher: "You're still the best writer I ever had." 😭😭😭😭💙💙💙
Now I have an agent and I'm going for it, thank you Ms. Sommers!!
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@EliMcCann
Are you volunteering surrogate grandparency because I would absolutely take you up on that
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4yo wants Mac and Cheese, "the kind that's bad for the environment"
(translation: not the vegan disaster I attempted)
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Haven't seen my car keys in days. Hope they're doing well and staying healthy
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Told my sister the tile guy was cute and this was the result
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Sometimes I feel unreasonably sad that the moon is moving slowly away from us but I would do that too if I were her tbh
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Are we supposed to just know when Jesus comes or do we have to go outside and check
#utearthquake
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Outmaneuver vulgar widows, flirt with and marry their young traveling companions, and bring them to their estate to unravel the mystery of their first wife's death under the eye of their sinister housekeeper
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@j_n_foster
I think about this blog post detailing the failings of world vs park all the time:
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Extravagant and classy celebration for finishing a manuscript. (Also eating CheezIts Ridges straight from my coat pocket)
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Emma is gay, you guys! This is fairly obvious. She has the means to live on her own with whichever beautiful woman strikes her fancy. Harriet is too straight and dumb though. I suggest Mary Crawford. Emma can teach Mary about charity. Mary can show Emma around London! 7/
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Cupbop staff at Fashion Place Mall skipped right over quiet quitting
@FashionPlcMall
@cupboptruck
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My husband vacuumed under the couch cushions??? Where I was keeping all my hair ties and bobby pins?????? WTF
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Finding their toys in little scenes or ways they've set them up after they've gone to sleep just about does me in every time.
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My little sister just got a google scholar alert for her own work 😊 I'm so proud of her
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