Quinn Cummings
@quinncy
Followers
67,315
Following
2,976
Media
35
Statuses
2,006
Nasty, brutish, short. Mostly bacteria. she/her/bitch. My podcast:
Los Angeles
Joined January 2009
Don't wanna be here?
Send us removal request.
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SHE'S HERE!!!!!
UPDATE!
Thank you everyone. Because Kid is preternaturally good at this and she got that ability from her father, they have put an airline system in place.
It's ugly but, God willing and the killing frost don't rise, she'll see her family.
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UPDATE!
Thank you everyone. Because Kid is preternaturally good at this and she got that ability from her father, they have put an airline system in place.
It's ugly but, God willing and the killing frost don't rise, she'll see her family.
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Okay, I hate this fucking place.
I HATE THIS FUCKING PLACE.
If I'm back, you know I'm not here for me.
I'm here for Kid.
They just cancelled her flight home. This will be her second Christmas in a row without her family and I get it, COVID, everything sucks.
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You're just the weird loser kid in seventh grade who buys the adulation of the weird loser fifth-grade boys.
None of the cool kids you admire like you.
On some level, you know this.
All the money in the world doesn't make you less of a loser.
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A small story:
The last one.
I rarely give you an assignment – life is hard enough OH GOOD, I AM NOW WORRIED ABOUT POLAND – but I strongly suggest you go listen to this episode of
@HiddenBrain
about part of what makes humans happy.
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Do you miss Court Jester?
Still sweating the holiday gifts for people you like but who already own everything they want/need?
Let's fix both of those problems.
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@elonmusk
Hey, girl, you up?
LOL.
You don't have 1/1000th of the strength and resilience of any woman on social media.
And you're never up.
(Don't believe what the girls you pay for their company tell you; it doesn't happen every single time "To all guys.")
Quinncy on Post.
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I am well aware of my privilege.
I am well aware my daughter has a roof over her head, potable water and a college education.
If you move forward with telling me everyone has it bad, I will obliterate you.
Now.
Any ideas?
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14 years on here.
Ah, memories.
Back then, no besides his bored parters knew about
@ElonMusk
's flydick,
@ThisIsKyleR
wasn't a murderer and
@MELANIATRUMP
...
Okay, she was still a whore.
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We will take our threads and we will weave something new but for just a moment, I want to thank every single one of you who added your thread and helped keep us all tied to earth.
You were not weak.
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But here's the thing; she had 18 hours off from being an EMT and was flying out today because she's an EMT. COVID didn't fuck her; her job - the low-paying job she took because she wants to help people- did.
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The job has a high level of burnout for a reason and it's never worse to do it. She shouldn't have to spend Christmas alone in an undecorated apartment. She can't drive because it would mean being home for about seven hours and turning around to go back, which is not safe.
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"Say, is Court Jester any better behaved over on ?"
Well, she's...
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"What's your new hobby?"
Grabbing my name on yet another social media platform.
"That's a terrible hobby."
I know.
#Spoutible
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I HATE THIS FUCKING PLACE.
But, more people are more creative than two people sitting in their house.
She can get a seat on a charter for $15,000 but that's not feasible. Does anyone have an idea for getting back from Colorado today?
Before someone thinks about lecturing me...
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A gentle reminder that Court Jester lives, and is on .
Also,
@ElonMusk
is a flydick,
@ThisIsKyleR
is a murderer,
@ggreenwald
is a drooling Russian stooge, and
@MELANIATRUMP
is a whore.
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You should come over to . We're having fun!
Speaking of coming,
@ElonMusk
has never even been in the same room as a woman having an orgasm,
@ThisIsKyleR
is a bitchass murderer and
@MELANIATRUMP
is a sun-weathered whore.
(Court Jester says "hey.")
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How was your trip to the bosses, veruca musk?
Did they spank you for being a fucking sweaty loser at your job?
Did they tell you that your evil father is laughing at you from hell?
Or did they just remind you what happens to employees who disappoint them?
@elonmusk
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Thank you. If nothing else, my Kid is reminded she's insanely resourceful even when all doors appear closed and locked and that's never a bad moral to a story.
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Come find Court Jester on Post. She's very comfortable.
@quinncy
Did it, I have virtually no followers, so I am not gonna influence much. But you’ve given me so much joy in here. I’ll do anything you ask usually. Merry Christmas. And I’ll find you on some platform to read and enjoy somewhere. Daisy says bye…
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Instead, I think I’ll call that a fine tie, the thinnest of threads that, woven together over time, created a tapestry that kept us a little warmer during a very cold season. Twitter was never good, but it was occasionally great and now, it’s gone.
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Maybe I had a thousand, ten thousand weak ties, buoying me up, keeping me going. Maybe there were a lot of us like that.
This is not a weak tie.
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Probably final ad!
Buy a book, have a giggle, help remove a testicle or two!
"You mean cat testicle, right? I feel as though I need to clarify that."
Sure.
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This...was Kenai.
(
@BlairBraverman
, several people said this story reminded them of you; no higher praise)
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Getting my act together, taking it to Instagram.
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After listening to this podcast, I thought about how I made it through COVID seemingly less physiologically traumatized than most and yes, part of it is massive introversion but maybe part of it was Twitter.
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A gentle reminder that I'm on .
@DrEricDing
, you there yet?
2) My deep worry is that this long term impact of
#COVID
on debilitating the work force will continue to hit us year after year, as COVID and other infections (via COVID’s immunocompromised) slams ashore every winter. The WH now feels the same way about future winter waves 👇
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@elonmusk
What a joy intimacy must be with you, veruca musk. Your moobs caroming hither and yon as you labor away, completely unaware of the other person, attuned only to your coelacanth yearnings and Chapelle reading ATLAS SHRUGGED aloud from a nearby Eames chair.
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Let the familial nonsense commence.
Elongated Muskrat’a fragile ego means there’s now no cross-promotion allowed on this app. So I’ll just say that I’m certainly not on Post at
@DoodleWrangler
. So don’t go looking for me there, on Post, at
@DoodleWrangler
.
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At $37,000, he begged them to stop, as this was more than he could ever imagine needing.
This is not a weak tie.
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Hey! I am going to run an experiment, LIVE, on Instagram in (she checks) 58 minutes so if you want to see what that is, you can find me there at
Might happen again, might not.
IT'S RAINING AND I'M BREAKING OUT OF RUTS.
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That's a good person you created.
@quinncy
We've raised them right! My kid and Doodle Wrangler are the same age, college grads and incredibly resourceful. My kid works at a group home and decided to work Christmas because co-workers have little kids. We're seeing her the 27th. Happy Holidays to you and your family.
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(I know all too well that you can’t ask the Beagle Mom her name because you’ve already discussed her hysterectomy and how it was different than the dog’s hysterectomy and “…sorry, what’s your name again?” was several off-ramps ago)
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If you know the Christian church, the wafer is given while the priest says, "Strength for the journey."
Christmas with her family gives her strength for the journey.
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"Are you still writing Small Stories?"
I am!
@quinncy
Quinn! Thanks for the reminder to join your Patreon!
We’ll meet again, don’t know where, don’t know when . . .
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Court Jester suggested, "You know we're leaving; let me have some fun."
Please RT this so this can be wrapped up by EOB.
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Or, podcast merch!
Also helps
@SanteDOr
! Have a number in my head I'm hoping to donate before the end of the year!
"What about the brilliant
@writing_wrongs
artwork from your podcast?"
I got ya.
"Speaking of which..."
I know, I KNOW.
We've been spinning too many plates but she's coming back.
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It's not us, it's the whole family. We are the rarest of things, an extended family where there is no asshole relative. Seeing them gives her the strength to be her best person.
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“We’ll be neighbors!” a character announces, and the audience laughs because the characters don’t realize how big America is. When something breaks apart, the parts go flying.
Some come back together; most don’t.
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A gentle reminder that my Small Stories continue, just not on here.
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Briefly skating past to remind you that holidays and gatherings are coming up! 1/2 the books I'll have available are in stock, can mail today! Save yourself headaches later! Or, sign up for my mailing list to know when SMALL STORIES, the book, arrives!
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When he was in a terrible bicycle accident and didn’t have insurance, the community raised money for him. When I made my donation, I tried to remember if I had ever had a conversation longer than, “Thank you for being here; can I get you a bottle of water?”
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Vedantam couldn’t have timed this episode any more serendipitously, coming as it did the week Twitter started to act like Silver Lake Trader Joe’s parking lot drivers park. We who lived there are trying to recreate what we had, to greater and lesser degrees of success.
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Every week, he always smiled and turned down the water. Every week, I pulled away thinking, “Thank God for that man.”
This is not a weak tie.
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How can people who are nearly all graduates of fine liberal-arts colleges so unclear on what parking-space lines mean and why are they wandering around in the lot like ketamine-dosed chickens? Every week, I thought I was prepared; every week, I was outraged yet again.
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Everyone believed Egee understood they were the only non-idiot in that lot.
When, in fact, that was me.
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Sign up over at Quinn
@quinncummings
.com for updates.
I promise you'll barely hear from me, if for no other reason than I don't enjoy getting pelted with emails LOOKING AT YOU, FRUITCAKE COMPANY WRITING TO ME IN JULY.
@quinncy
😔🥰😥 starting after the 2016 election you were one of the people I heavily relied on to help me get through the 4 years of TFG. I’ll be forever grateful. Ill look for you on other platforms!!!
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Okay, here’s another one.
All Trader Joe’s have terrible parking lots, almost diabolically indifferent to the rules not only of the road but of physics. This is not news. But even within Trader Joe’s canon, the Silver Lake TJ’s is so, so, so much worse.
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Missing Small Stories? Here's a bit of the one that just went up!
Want more? Sign up, have them come to you!
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The barista, the security guard at the front desk, the woman you see walking her beagle every day as you wrestle your children into the car.
“I don’t know any of their names.”
Doesn’t matter.
You’re still benefitting.
Maybe learn the security guard’s name.
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These kinds of relationships have been described by social scientists as “Weak ties” which makes sense. You don’t see Beagle Mom for two days, you probably won’t die from lack of it. But the science is starting to suggest that without these interactions, your life is less.
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Thank you! A Patreon supporter let her two teen-aged daughters read MODEST BLESSINGS FOR MODERN TIMES. She sent me a picture of the two girls, leaning against each other, looking down at the book collapsing in giggles.
Teenaged sisters getting along and giggling!
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The weather is bad through the mountains. It's not safe to be managing an unknown-to-her car through that kind of snow.
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"Quinn, you doing
#GoldenGlobes
dresses this year?"
You know I am.
"You doing them on here?"
I am not.
You will find my weird sartorial wisdom on and my Premium Patreon Discord Channel ().
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a little smaller and shabbier and you feel a little worse. I assert that a relationship which can make you feel measurably happier – as some studies suggest – is not weak at all. A friend works at CalTech, a school filled with Nobel Laureates teaching about 850 students.
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Imagine a present that pleases nearly everyone AND benefits
@santedor
babies like these three, our current fosters who can't go into the rescue because there is literally no room at the inn. Sante needs our money and you need giggly gifts.
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All flights are cancelled through 12/26. We could meet her but we're a very close family and we do an extended-family gathering which absolutely feeds her, and not just because her aunts are magnificent cooks. The cousins all adore each other, we did Obnoxious White Elephant.
@quinncy
Can she not fly out d/t weather? You're in LA, can y'all drive & meet halfway, or is weather too bad?
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The only thing which saved many people from being beaten to death with their own vapes was Egee.
Egee didn’t just direct traffic; Egee was a fully enlightened being who used parking lots as his art medium. Everyone knew Egee; everyone respected Egee.
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Well, it is, but we already sort of expect them to make us happy. If they aren’t making us happy, that’s what passive-aggressive sniping, overeating and divorce courts are for. No, the secret sauce might be our acquaintances, the people with whom we exchange the tiniest of talk.
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Students who have every reason to assume they will become Laureates in turn. It’s a big-brain, work-until-you-drop-and-then-do-a-problem-set-or-12-while-being-intubated sort of a school. For the past thirty years, a man has made a steady living from bringing his food truck there.
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2020, he decided it wasn’t fun anymore, that he had made enough money to go back to his village and enjoy his extended family. The administration learned of this and started a “Thank-you” fundraiser among students and alumni, hoping to give him a little extra retirement padding.
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As you might guess from Shankar Vedantam getting a whole episode out of it, the answer isn’t necessarily what you think it is.I’ll spoil the surprise a bit because otherwise this will be the smallest of small stories; it’s not your intimate friends, your family, your partner.
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Imagine having the feeling of being done with holiday shopping for the adults while ALSO benefitting the really good volunteers at
@santedor
and ALSO removing some stray-cat testicles.
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Miss the Small Stories! Here's a peek at today's story. You could have this for $1/month...
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Five days a week, ten months a year, thirty years. He was as regular as one of their finely tuned instruments, every weekday had a designated spot. He spoke fondly to everyone, smiled, allowed these big-brains to feel sort of human for a second as they inhaled their food.
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"What about the brilliant
@writing_wrongs
artwork from your podcast?"
I got ya.
"Speaking of which..."
I know, I KNOW.
We've been spinning too many plates but she's coming back.
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For $1 a month, you could have just read this story.
As with the writer, don't let the size fool you; it's mean.
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Thank you. As of right now, the entire fucking airport is down.
@quinncy
We had the same problem getting our daughter out of LGA yesterday. Keep checking online every airline that flies Denver-LA if you can. Seats appear and disappear very quickly on the flights that aren’t cancelled. Delta was selling very last minute seats. 1/2
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BRILLIANT.
TRYING.
@quinncy
Can she take an Amtrak? It's not much faster than driving, I guess.
Maybe the Acela? (I'm in the Northeast, where states are much smaller.. so my perspective might be off.)
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The last, the LAST, day I am mailing before the holidays!
GET YOUR STRAY-CAT TESTICLE REMOVAL POWER, RIGHT HERE.
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Just saying...
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"Still doing
#ShoutingDay
, where people air their small but maddening grievance and are supported in this?"
Yes.
I am doing it on the Premium Patreon Discord channel and, possibly, on .
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I've written two Small(er) stories already today! For $1 a month, they, all the stories before them and whatever comes after this can be yours! I'm avoiding starting my taxes, so this could be a big day for writing!
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Miss my Small Stories on here? For $1 a month, you don't have to...
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