Qeelsthoughts
@qeelsthoughts
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A safe space to make friends for Cruise, Intelligence, Critical thinking, Memes, Jobs, Money, Mentorship, Romance, Advice & Knacks. NO insults/bullying.
Joined December 2021
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You were rejected by the preset ATS. An applicant tracking system (ATS) is software that manages the recruiting and hiring process, including job postings and job applications. You need to optimize your CV to beat this, if not you keep getting rejections 1/
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Burna Boy is like Banana in a smoothie; once you add banana, you won’t taste the other fruits. That’s exactly what he does when people feature him on their music 😩 You end up liking the music because of him 😂
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Stretch marks are primarily caused by rapid weight loss and gain which marks the skin during the rapid stretch and loss of fat or muscle mass. It’s nothing to be ashamed off. You have no control over how it looks.
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2/2 The fastest and easiest way to beat this is to rework your CV into a the CV format like the below. It allows the ATS extract all the relevant information from a CV for the human HR to see it.
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Someone in the replies recommended the Wharton format. You can make your CV like this, it’s apparently the best for job applications and ATS.
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Why do men keep condoms in their wallet? 🙄
If you skip this post eh. 🙄
If you skip this post eh. 🙄
If you skip this post eh. 🙄
Confess. 🤗
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Men, what do you prefer.. lacy lingerie like the type I’m wearing.. or bare butt 🥳🥳🥳🥳
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My NYSC KNACKS
My back and thighs ache from the strenuous journey. I am having a splitting headache and I can hardly concentrate. The journey from Lagos to Borno has not been a great one for me. It was a 26hour journey. I'm tired and I left home without getting a good fokin!
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It’s arrant nonsense when a girl that can’t afford something is shaming her age mate that can’t afford the same thing for her, in a society where the minimum wage is 60$ per month and over 65% are unemployed and in poverty. If you like, allow teaux teaux ruin your life.
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🕊🕯Taking a moment to remember the handles that will never tweet again, post a story again, reply a comment again, send a DM again. May their souls rest in perfect peace.🕯🕊 Friends that have died. A reminder to live a virtuous life. Death WILL come for us anytime.🕊🕯
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Tbh, I understand why men like bress because me sef wey get bress, e get the kain comfort pressing my bress dey gimme 😭 sometimes I wish I can sleep on it. If I’m a man, I know I’ll be a si:mp for girls with big bress cos na all of my money dem go access. Yes, call me a sim:p 😭
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If you’re a Nigerian feminist, and you haven’t done anything for FGM victims, IDP women, give a girl a pad, female politics, maternal and neo-natal care plans and other socio issues specific to 9ja, but it’s only men you’re hating on, you a MISANDRIST— google it.
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For more context, please read up and google ATS and also read up on how they may filter your application out. See images and link below:
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If she can’t bend over like this for doggie, wipe am fanbelt or 2 by 2 for middle of back 😭😭
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It’s your fathers duty to provide for you! If your father failed in his duty, it’s not up to a boyfriend— who’s also struggling and trying to do well for himself. The only men in your life that should be responsible for your finance is your FATHER and your HUSBAND.
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Is it only me, but when people add full stop to the end of their sentences, I think they’re angry? 😩😩Also, all capital letters texting is the texting equivalent of screaming? In my head I’ll be like don’t shout on me abekk gettat 🙄🙄🙄 then my Daddy types in CAPS mostly 🙄
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I love men. Their beards. Their unfairly long lashes 😭😭 their hard sinewy muscles and smooth or scarred skins 😭😭 Gorgeous eyes.. and the way they’ll look at you and you go just ment 😭 and get shy and the way their muscles bunch and the way they’re so dominant & capable 😭🥺
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After Money, the next thing is knowing people. Ha. The ease that comes with knowing people at the point you need it. This is not only a Naija thing oh— it’s a HUMAN thing. Build your human connections & network. One person’s referral can change your life for the BEST.
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The Truth: Men always uplift women. Men will look at you, and CHANGE your life positively. They are GOOD people. I can categorically say that Men uplift women more than women uplift men. A King can make you a Queen, but a Queen can’t make you a King. Men are usually the helpers.
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One major reason why a-lot of people have bumps after shaving is because they shave against the growth of the hair on their skin. Always shave in the direction your hair lays— don’t shave against that. The irritation causes the bumps.
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I woke up startled.
Wetin dey sup? I look my side, na one old man dey here. Hian. I don knack sugar papa? Omo! I comot the bed, mek hin wife no go break botu for my head. I dey try find my cloth but ano see am. I enter toilet mek I piss. Na so I look mirror.
I screamed.
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Title: Our Preeq.
My best friend really shouldn’t have bragged so much about her man’s preeq, because that only made me want try it out. Everyday, ‘Babe, I can’t walk well’. She would pantomime with her legs caved in, acting like she needed breeze between her thighs. One day,
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You people should chase men oh. I don’t have pen:s to dash anygirl oh. Before you’ll see me receiving pen:s soon & you’ll say I misled you🤣If a man has shown interest and you’re into him, accept. If not, reject him and don’t collect anything from him. Let him move on to others.
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Truth: People cheat on their partners whom they’re living with. Long distance is NEVER the issue. It’s all about discipline and choice. The person who will cheat will cheat, and the person who won’t, won’t. It all depends on who you are. Honorable or Not. Trustworthy or Not.
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I genuinely don’t understand the war against marrying single mothers. Would you rather them sit in abusive marriages with their kids? The ones who’s husbands died? Don’t they deserve a second chance at love? Is having a kid a sort of disease? Is it cos your own babe is aborting?
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Fucking on Igboeaux.
When you take Igboeaux, all your sensations are heightened. Your taste for food, music, se:x, normal activities— everything is quadrupled and freakishly amazing. It’s like your senses are opened. That fateful evening, I ate brownies with my boyfriend.
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One of the reasons why I appreciate men alot is because of my mother. She’s always praising the effects of my father and brothers when they’re at home. She’ll say they make her life so easy, they’ll buy fuel, on gen, repair stuffs around the house.
🤗🤗🤗 so beautiful 🤗🤗🤗
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If you want to get a become a Data Analyst/Business Intelligence Anlyst with zero coding (Thank me later):
Learn Excel:
🌙Tutorials -
⭐️Projects -
Learn Basic Statistics:
🌙Tutorials -
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Sexual Abuse pertaining to Men: joked about and not taken seriously enough, but a lot of men were abused as teenagers and children (introduced to sex by adult women). Alot of men think it’s not a bad thing, but it is abuse/statutory r
@pe
, and it has bad psychological effects.
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There are list of skills that you can learn online FOR FREE, and pay cheap sums on Udemy for. Top IT skills (both coding and non-coding):
-Product Mgt
-UI/UX
-DevOps
-Datascience/AI/ML
-Software Dev
-Digital Mrktng
-GOOGLE THE REST! Invest in your self! Make a plan & follow it!
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Litmus Test for girls that want their kpussy devoured liked fufu and egusi soup 😩😩: Slide your fingers into yourself, and bring that shii into your nose and taste it. If you can’t stand the smell or lick it up, don’t bother insisting on head. Go and get rid of the odor.
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What do you want in 2023.
Money = Like this.
Happiness = Comment.
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Litmus test for Simps: You know fully well that the money you’re giving a girl, you can never give it to a fellow man. Never use money to buy love. However, a good girl that’s exclusively dating you deserves to be absolutely spoiled to the best of your capacity. Genuine Desire!
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When you have good men, please, be nice and take care of them too. Hardly nobody does anything for men. They’re usually the last ones in most chain reactions. It’s amazing if you practice gratitude and do beautiful things for the men. They love getting spoilt too & hardly get it.
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Culture shock in Europe: One of the things I had to deal with was the uncanny silence! Being a Lagosian used to noise, it was shocking. Except punctuated by the sounds of automobiles.. everywhere is QUIET. I can’t remember the last time I heard a child cry. Or scream. Anything.
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He bent me over, and slowly slid his rod into me. I almost sprang up in shock, what was that!! That wasn’t the pen:s I fondled a few minutes ago. ‘Fuckkkk’ he groaned. ‘What’s thattttt’ I moaned. ‘My fucking cock in your wet snatch baby’. Fuck me. He’s a grower.
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While we are on this topic. Women, STOP PRESSURING MEN! You want a Man who’s struggling to buy you what you can’t afford yourself? Mek e tiff? To do what? Because of greed? If you’re a man and you allow a girl that her father can’t afford something bill you anyhow, YOU’RE A FOOL.
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If you graduated with a 3rd class degree and lower, apply for a post-graduate diploma, and excel at it, so that you can have a hope for a Masters degree — if you’re so inclined. Ladoke Akintola, OPEN Universities and a host of others offer these.
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Happy birthday to me ✨
I know I’m a blessing to this generation.
I hope I continue to embody hope, light, truth, cruise, intelligence, memes, & knacks in all it’s premium quality to y’ll.
I’m honored that I pull this kind of crowd simply with my mind, thoughts & writing.
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If you woke up as a member of the opposite sex tomorrow, and you had 24 hours to remain that way before you revert, what’s the first thing you’re doing.. and what are the other things you’ll do? First thing—Me: Knack babe. Other things—Knack babesssssssss. 😩
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Demystify the private parts early for children. Don’t use code words. ‘This is your penis’. ‘This is your vagina’. ‘It’s your private part’. ‘Tell me and your Daddy if anybody touches it’. They will report any predator immediately. Be friendly to your children. Listen to them!
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Have you ever received money from a woman before? This is a safe space bruv. 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
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Conversation Masterclass 101:
Let’s brush up your grammar. I am/I’m is not ‘Am’.
Imagine if God said
‘Am am that am am’. 🙄
I’m is short for ‘I am’.
🎯I’m is a statement word, ‘Am’ is a question word.
Eg:
🎯I am hungry/I’m hungry.
🎯Am I hungry?
Notice the difference?
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One of the most astoundingly wick3d things I’ve ever seen is when a man bares his soul to you in public, asking you to be his wife— and a woman rejects publicly. I can’t begin to explain how wick3d this act is. What happened to accepting publicly and later discuss in private?
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Who’s your fave? Davido or Wizkid?
Davido
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Wizkid
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Even if I have a bulletproof condom, I’ll still PULL OUT. 2 Factor Authentication. 🙏🏾 Bless. 🙏🏾
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Women set Finance as standards for men, cue in hypergamy (always wants richer guys/dates up). Men accepted— no yawa, always hustle to be rich, doesn’t mind spending on women etc. Men set purity as standards for women, cue in (low BC, virginity), then there’s problem. Women sha!
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Stop bleaching your teeth and skin. Stop using sex enhancement pills. Stop putting random things inside your vagina. All these things can cause heart, kidney, liver failure and cancer.
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My Anointed Orga$ms Part 1:
I know If word ever got out, i will be condemned heavily by society. My mom, dad and siblings wouldn’t be disappointed but I couldn’t care for their reaction because I am living my best life. 21 and fabulous is all I see when I look in the mirror,
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What was the heartbreak that made you lose faith in love? What did they do to you? This is a safe space ❣️❣️
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Olosho by Mistake 😩
I tossed and turned on my bed. I couldn't sleep.. The noise of my room mates buzzed my nerves and I find myself getting irritated. I almost screamed out in anger for them to shut the up! But then, deep down.. I know it's transfer of aggression.
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Heartbreaks: When people break your heart, they know what they did. They’re well aware of it. They knew you were shattering to bits and will do anything to remain in their lives, but they deliberately fuck you up. It’s an INTENTIONAL power play. They don’t care about you. 💔💔
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Time: I read yesterday that the Sahara dessert isn’t a permanent dessert. Every 20,000 years, it switches from desert to vegetation. However what blew my mind is the concept of time. In 15,000 years, the Sahara is going to become a vegetation again & we won’t see it. Jesus died
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Different types of BFs tomorrow:
1. The cheating ones who are currently confused.🤣
2. The ones who don’t gaf and won’t get you gifts 😭
3.The one already mixing all the concoction to finish you with pen!!s tomorrow. 🤣🤣🤣
4. The one who will pick quarrel with you as we speak 🤣
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Have you seen what some women do to people they’re physically powerful than? Have you seen some women on their maids? On their step children? Sometimes, even on their own children? Have you seen the horrors some women inflict on young-ins? Imagine if they were powerful than men.
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BDSM GONE WRONG PART 1:
1. Good morning QT. Trying out BDSM with a young guy is a NO NO I won’t advice it. So around July I noticed a burner account followed me and liked all my picture then commented on one. That got my attention and I proceeded to check out the (thread) ⬇️⬇️
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Intellect: Happy Hormones.
🎯Dopamine: Complete a small task, listen to 🎶.
🎯Serotonin: Stroll, get 🌞, exercise, meditate.
🎯Oxytocin: Hug someone, pet your pet, cook for your lover, buy gifts, hold their hands.
🎯Endorphins: Eat dark 🍫, watch movies.
Please share post ❤️
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BDSM: the acronym stands for Bondage and Discipline, Dominance and Submission. But in psychology, it is simply Sa:dism and Maso:chism Sadom::asochism. Sexual sad::ism (dominant) is the practice of receiving sexual pleasure from inflicting pain on others.
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Tinder Swindler: Where I wan find even 2k$ to take out as loan? 🤣🤣🤣🤣He hit the two things that women will always falls for: MONEY and LOVE. Still chop free puna join 😭😭😭😭 Even after leaving jail, he’s still banging hotties & Rich. Karma aint real 😭sorry to the ladies.
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My Boss.
‘Let's avoid that in the future—no panties from now on, Funke.’ ‘Yes, sir.’ The thought of not wearing panties under my skirts to work made me feel somehow. ‘Put your hands behind your back.’ He wrapped something around my wrists,
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Proper positioning: Using myself as a case study, the person that encouraged me to Travel to Germany for Masters saw my comment on a page and Dmed me, then in 2017. I replied his DM and I just finished at UI then. That day, I almost deleted all requests. But I just decided to go
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I’m convinced that the highest rate of divorce in the world is amongst socks 😭😭😭 Then spoons, I don’t understand how we started the year with 3 dozen and now I’m seeing just 6? Do inanimate objects walk? What if they’re the creators of the universe and just playing us? 😭😭
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Men, what will you do if you wake up tomorrow and your manhood has disappeared? Tell us. 🥂😁😁😁 This one go sweet me 💘❣️💘❣️💘❣️💘❣️💘❣️💘❣️💘❣️💘❣️
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I thought it was only social media noise and the youths have no PVC? 😂😂😂😂
In the coming years, history will be made. The Nigerian political class will NEVER underestimate the power of social media and young people anymore. Talk and do generation! Proud asf!
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Come oh. Una juss lock up for this page. Una nor dey fok una sef? 😑 Abeg drop gist for Admin. Then, I’m available to receive wild/hoe stories. Feel free to DM me your craziest Sexcapades, I’ll convert to a tweet and post here for others to read 😈👿
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Boobs or Theek Thighs? Let’s end this argument once and for all.
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If you can see this, kindly say hi or drop an emoji. I want to test the reach, thanks.
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Critical thinking: I briefly worked with a Vietnamese couple for some months and in their religion, they don’t believe in a God, and they worship their ancestors. We need to always remember that a lot of people don’t hold the same beliefs as we do. If something isn’t a sin in
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You can’t even explain why you’re into him. Yes, a good man should take care of you within his capacity, but he isn’t obligated to do that— that’s your father and husbands job. Any money a man gives you (no matter how much), should be received with gratitude and joy.
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The Choirmaster
I love choking on kpreek 😩😩 mek spit and tears dey comot as I dey suck am. I met Brother Daniel at Church. I’m not a frequent attendee but these days the shege that my eyes dey see for this country don chase me go. The first day I entered, I felt welcome. It
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Stoicism: Sometimes I see negative comments and of course, as a human; I instinctively want to lash out and react, but I remind myself, for every negative comment, there’s 100’s of positive ones. Why do I want that neg one to get to me? Why don’t I focus on the positive ones?
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Don’t ever think something is wrong with you! You’re battling against poverty, terrible system, redundant state, a place that makes things hard and kills dreams, YOU ARE TRYING YOUR BEST. Don’t become greedy and heartless please 🙏🏾 You’ll get your big break soon 🙏🏾🙏🏾🙏🏾
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This will be your last year single.
I wish for you a beautiful, loving, plenty money, non toxic, no cheating & sides, plenty food, luxury kisses, vacation-filled, progress, growth, good health and vibes relationship and marriage.
Amen.
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Intellect: Nudes&blackmail. Generally, I will advice you not to send nudes to anybody, and if you must, it’s standard protocol not to show your face (no face, no case). If you’re being blackmailed, ask the blackmailer to post the nudes or videos,
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I will be taking a Master class for Men/Women on how to carry on conversations with people they’re into online and stop all that their nonsense ‘K’, ‘lol’, etc. I will be doing it 7pm everyday. Tag all the People you know that will need this masterclass on this post.
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Should partners before marriage tell each other everything? Or the past stays in the past? Personally, I will advice any man or woman to hire a PI discretely to investigate whomever they plan to marry. The quality of the rest of your life and your kids will depend on it.
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Olosho by Mistake 3 😍😍
All his weight pressing down into me and I loved it! I could feel him pushing my black skirt and panties off me. Tentatively, I moved my hands down the back of his pant trousers and under his boxers. I began rubbing his acx, squeezing the glutes..
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Reality check: It is incredibly hard to make money, especially when you’re not from a well to do home, no viable connections and your responsibilities are many. There is dignity is labour; don’t allow anyone make you feel less than a human. Well-done. Your big break is coming!
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Name one weird thing you like smelling. Me: Petrol 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭New money 💰 💰💰💰 Note: Our valentines gift is already plenty, so I will start from Tomorrow so we can sort it out. I miss you. What have you been doing all day? ❣️❣️
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What is our life purpose? We come on this earth (because some random people knacked 🙄) and then we have to figure out life, pain, struggles, joy, hustle, strive, effort, trauma, only to dai after a mere 80 years on the average. What is all these? We didn’t ask for this. 😑
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Sultry.
‘I should pxnish you for wearing this ashawo gown publicly & not for me alone’.
‘You’ve been ignoring me, but now you’re bothered about a gown’.
‘Come here’ he growls as he swerved me in the dark & slid two fingers inside.
‘Fk you’re not wearing panties’.
He groaned,
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Sorry 😭 I know I’m a kwaruupt goat, but I’m just thinking what will you do if rapture catches you when you’re knaqing 😭😭 You people on this platform cant make heaven except me and 2 others 😑😑😑😑😑😑
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It’s my birthday week. Guess the exact date correctly and win a gift. You’re canceled if you know me personally 😁
If you have a business, DM me let me buy your goods (you must deliver within this week). If you pack it pretty well; I will post it on QT for free and tag you.
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Technology: HAVE YOU BEEN FINDING IT HARD TO ENTER TECH? Confused? This post is for you. I compiled resources on Cybersecurity, Cloud, web3, blockchain, all non-coding tech stacks (BI, UI/UX), job sites, earn free certifications:
1. Cybersecurity:
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Olosho by mistake 2 🥵🥵
I looked at Ada’s picture again. She didn't have the confidence and sophistication that radiated from the other women's profile I visited. Her face was all trusting. And I imagined spurting cxm and that face. I grinned. She wouldn't be so innocent then.
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Don’t DM her in the afternoon bruv. DM her at night when her bed is empty and she online prowling the web. 🤣🤣
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Tinder Swindler: Can’t be naija babes thou. Una stingy die 😭😭😭😭 We stee dey beg una not to gift boxers and singlet this year vals 🤣🤣🤣🤣 Even if your kpreek sweet pass sugar 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣 Naija girls go stee collect TFare 😭😭😭😭😭😭
#tinderswindler
#Tinderswindler
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One beautiful thing I love about men is how they support each other. I love it. Wizkid and Davido are like the babas of the industry and I absolutely love how when a new musician is trending, they feature him on their show and then gift him huge sums. Super uplifting to see! 💕
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