Puns AndOneliners
@punsandoneliner
Followers
28K
Following
2K
Statuses
62K
Tweeting jokes, puns and one liners from https://t.co/0OwEY987xs on the hour, every hour. Expect to groan more than laugh....
Joined March 2018
Friend of mine took up mountaineering whilst wearing a suit and re-enacting scenes from Rocky. He's got the Tie of the Eiger. #Mountain #MountainJokes #Joke
0
0
0
A friend of mine made some tea whilst up a mountain trying to work out the length of a side of a right angled triangle. Turned out it was a high pot in use. #Mountain #MountainJokes #Joke
0
0
1
I saw a new recipe book about cooking with herbs. It's about Thyme. #recipe #recipejokes #joke #humour
0
1
1
Parallel lines have so much in common. It's sad that they will never meet... #Line #LineJokes #Joke #Humour
0
0
2
Turning my barn into a summerhouse. Got electricity in place, thinking of adding running water, but that might just be a pipe dream. #Barn #BarnJokes #Joke #Humour
0
0
1
I was shopping for kettles with a friend. He said "wanna steel one?" "No", I said, "I'll pay for it". #Kettle #KettleJokes #Joke #Humour
0
0
2
Don't think this new idea of playing darts in space will take off. There's just no atmosphere. #Dart #DartJokes #Joke #Humour
1
0
2
There are two secrets to success in life: 1. Don’t tell them everything you know. #Secret #SecretJokes #Joke #Humour
0
1
2
0
0
3
0
0
2
A clown held a door open for me the other day. I thought, “what a nice jester”. #Door #DoorJokes #Joke #Humour
0
0
1
0
0
1
A pickle walks into a casino, sits down at a card table and says “Dill me in”. #Pickle #PickleJokes #Joke #Humour
0
0
0
0
0
0
I saw an opera about a rodent that goes round letting the air out of tyres. Deflator Mouse. #Tyre #TyreJokes #Joke #Humour
0
0
4
0
0
0
I always find gravity disappointing. It always brings me down. #Disappointing #DisappointingJokes #Joke #Humour
0
0
4
Made a trifle with only one layer of sponge. At least it didn't end in tiers. #Sponge #SpongeJokes #Joke #Humour
0
0
1