jolie 🇵🇸
@princess_labia
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16,518
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Pinned Tweet
im gonna start a pyramid scheme where i make one friend, they make two friends, those two each make three friends, and then i have a birthday party
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by far the highlight of the aquarium today was seeing two women walk around with their wedding planner and her saying "we cant guarantee the sharks will come to the front during the vows"
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IF U ARE A TEENAGER AND A GROWN ASS MAN WANTS TO FUCK U its not because you're mature for your age. its because he's nasty. and im sorry
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i tried to understand the stockmarket thing but it turns out im hot :/
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the interesting thing abt "vote for a woman not a white man" is that, in this case, the woman is also white, pretended to not be white for decades, and the white man is the first generation in his family to really be white, and his family was murdered for not being white
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i got tested for a bunch of STDs and they didn’t get back to me for a week so i called and the woman was like “okay so you got chlamydia, gonorrhea, syphilis, HIV... and you tested negative for all of them" ma'am why would you say it like that
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woman: *gets breast cancer*
woman: ah, yes, finally ive found an excuse to be topless and make men horny
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hey bro do u stick up for women when they are harassed? or are u too busy patting urself on the back for not harassing women? jw
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imagine meeting ur idol and posing w her as u touch her boob. cardi did that
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man photographs naked woman: artist
naked woman photographs herself: whore
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when my mom got pregnant me and my sister named the baby oliver and called him oliver and wrote "paris jolie & oliver" all over our plastic playhouse and then he was born and my parents were like "meet trey" and we were like . wtf
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in high school my nickname was president nipples because i was student body president/ i frequently took my top off at parties
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when ur extremely horny & have no one to fuck but then remember ur a strong independent woman who doesnt need no man
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the term "girl crush" fucked up my whole adolescence like honey ur gay
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the biggest scams are heterosexuality and high end mascara
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im a samantha/carrie hybrid in the sense that i love to fuck and am also devastatingly annoying
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spoiler alert: men who dont abuse women dont get angry when women talk about abusive men
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in college i had to take tai chi and on my evaluation the teacher wrote "distracted by self in mirror"
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good morning to everyone except grown ass men who date teenagers
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I DIDNT ATTEND A MARCH TODAY BUT I DID QUIT MY JOB AND REPORT MY MANAGER FOR SEXUAL HARRASMENT. FINALLY
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my mom wouldnt get me a barbie bc "feminism" so i wrote her an essay about how barbie showed girls there are options beyond motherhood. at my friend's house my barbie had a job i made up where she was paid to have sex with the other barbie
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im not really interested in trying to re-market consent as desirable.
i wanna talk about how you are a fucking rapist without it. period.
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what kind of crystals do i need to put in my pussy to make me not depressed
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its so fucked that adhd meds dont get refills and need to be called in every month. like i never remember to deal with that til im out. i have adhd.
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that feeling after u cum when u realize the porn youre watching is fucked up
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the strongest thing a woman can do is take the advice she would give her best friend
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boys only do three things:
1) hurt ur feelings
2) say sorry
3) hurt ur feelings again but worse
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teach your sons to apologize and your daughters to not forgive
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how do ppl take good makeup pics bc this is obviously not it
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in middle school a mean girl called me a "wannabe slut" but then by high school she just called me a "slut" :) dreams do come true :')
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"kill all men" in the tweets, "slap me with your cock" in the dms
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when bae takes 12 minutes to respond to my sext and then thinks im still gonna be down
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we sacrifice so much for men who think the ultimate sacrifice is not cheating on u
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consent isnt sexy. consent is what makes sex not rape. that shouldnt be so exciting, right? that should be, dare i say, expected?
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wife youre doing amazing sweetie
How is my wife gonna make me go downstairs to get her bag for her "medicine" and when I give it to her she pulls out a twix 😐😐😐😐😐😐😐😐😐😐😐😐😐😐😐😐
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if we're cautious we're crazy and if we're not we're dead 👌
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i call my parents mommy/daddy and its pretty embarassing when other people hear but in my defense thats how THEY introduced themselves to me
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some things only happen in movies like ppl hanging up the phone without saying bye and guys like adam sandler having sex with girls like me
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the full quote is "i just felt terrible that this person felt this way"
Aziz Ansari addresses sexual misconduct allegation in new Netflix special: "I just felt terrible"
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overheard at work
little girl: whats ten zillion plus one?
dad: im not doing math right now
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men get a lot of attention for tweeting things women say all the time challenge
“My ex girlfriend is crazy”
Code for: I played w her emotions, ruined her mental health, gave her reasons to be jealous, used gaslighting when she called me out, and now that she’s justifiably upset/hurt I demonize her hoping other men won’t want her and she’ll come back to me.
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can we..... not ? talk about that
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"how do u expect men to respect you when yo-"
i dont expect men to respect me. i know better. lets start there
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heres a picture of my pup that u deserve to see because ur doing great and ur too hard on urself
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I JUST MET CYNTHIA NIXON AND TALKED TO HER ABOUT SESTA/FOSTA AND STRIPPING AND SHE WAS AN INCREDIBLE LISTENER (WE TALKED FOR SO LONG HER PERSON HAD TO MOVE HER ALONG) AND GAVE ME SUCH A GENUINE HUG AND IM LITERAL STILL SHAKING
@CynthiaNixon
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FOR WOMEN AND GIRLS, LOVING YOURSELF IS AN ACT OF SOCIAL DISOBEDIENCE, HOW FUCKED UP IS THAT
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im so obsessed with my mom right now wow best graduation cake ever
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before and after i fell down a flight of stairs in a secret attic church from the 1800s
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NYPD banned chokeholds in 1993 after killing 16 people in 5 years. NYPD BANNED CHOKEHOLDS IN 1993 AFTER KILLING 16 PEOPLE IN FIVE YEARS.
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of course hillary wouldnt be a loveable meme. we hate her
Thank you to everyone who gets my point about how a man is praised for something a woman would absolutely be dragged to hell for. Do you think Hillary would be a loveable meme if she dressed like that with that look on her face? Hell no.
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shout out to every woman whos been triggered non stop for like two weeks now. i log on for you only
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i dont have any tshirts of bands i dont listen to but i do have sex with men i cant stand
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just because im a feminist doesn't mean i hate men, im just a feminist who *happens* to hate men
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i honestly dont know whats wrong with men. what did we do to deserve this burden.
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do men just go on twitter to reply "that didnt happen" like is that their job
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men who arent trash are also trash, they just dont get mad when u say men are trash. the lesser of two trashes.
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