dan
@preppiebishie
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Pinned Tweet
“…”
Basing your entire personality on looking eternally youthful is a good life plan dude
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1/ I really don't like that movie. Most movies about communist regimes get something very wrong. The mass persecutions, the sadistic show trials, the mass murders, were all done in an atmosphere of joy and celebration. Not under duress in an enviorment of terror and fear.
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KAMALA HARRIS: "The United States shares a very important relationship, which is an alliance with the Republic of North Korea."
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my friend and i texting about hetalia in 7th grade on my mom’s phone o.o
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i’m at applebees and the table is so sticky that we can’t get our napkins off it 😭
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it’s true
Men call other men gay when they’re jealous of how pretty that man is
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contemplating gustav hoytler’s reign of terror over brandoslavia in the 1920s
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rest in peace to one of the most handsome men who ever lived (and a brilliant actor as well!)
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"trump is gonna lose the election because he didn't walk out on stage at the RNC wearing a gimp mask"
Last night while praising Kamala's "Meme Game," Nick Fuentes attacked Donald Trump as a "dork" for not embracing rappers like Yeat and Kanye. He says he loves Kamala's brat thing
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crazy how some jilted loser stalked my twitter for months because i’m friends with her ex and even got on a train to hunt us down after i posted about hanging out with him
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i just woke up and found a miniature portrait of joe biden on my dresser that wasn’t there before???
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my time in montréal is starting to feel a bit like a céline novel. last night i hung out with a coke dealer at his apartment. we played jackbox and he talked about how he’s really into cuckolding
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going to the history club meeting at my uni next week and explaining the abiotic theory of oil as if it's scientifically proven
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she is beautiful 2 me
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@samofsamshire
you have no idea how grating it is as an american to play UK geoguessr, all your towns and suburbs look identical to me
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i’m somewhat convinced that alcoholism is like a shortcut to becoming the overman… break down every social inhibition until you’re completely untrammelled, free to do and say whatever you please
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“…”
I showed a cuttlefish his own reflection today using a mirror. After staring at himself for 16 mins, he ejaculated. I scooped up the cluster of spermatophores, and genotyped him. I love my job(?) 👩🏻🔬
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my ancient greece prof and i are like this 🤞 we hung out in his office earlier and talked about apuleius, then he gave me a book about koine greek as a gift :D
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it's crazy how much a 30 minute nap can restore you. i think i'm gonna start taking one every day
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when i reach twink death i’m going to instantly metamorphose into the spitting image of james joyce, eyepatch and all
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based on the french authors i’ve read in the past few months i’m convinced that every single frenchman is either a homosexual, a cuckold, or a pedophile
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every day i wake up and rue that i am not an adolescent aristocrat, the last scion of my family after both my parents died in a tragic house fire that consumed our stately home, aided in my treacherous investigations of the criminal underworld by my infernal butler, to whom i
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i just realized i have the same exact fit as delon in this picture
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a girl randomly came up to me earlier and told me i smell really really good
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i used to be like this until i realized life is far more enjoyable when you allow yourself to be spontaneous and don’t plan everything out down to the most minute detail
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same energy
my friend and i texting about hetalia in 7th grade on my mom’s phone o.o
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you're not free unless you're able to waste an inordinate amount of time skimming random wikipedia articles
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there are at least 2, possibly 3 insane women stalking my twitter at any given time
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i do this bit where i’ll randomly make up nicknames for myself, the most recent one was “they call me the vile seducer”
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“y’know spongebob’s making a comeback”
“yeah?”
“yeah”
*dad walks into the room*
“so last night i had a dream that the dog was getting fucked in the ass by another dog”
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my interwar history prof was showing us youtube clips of weimar era silent films today and there were a bunch of videos like "4 things that women do when they're horny" in his watch history 💀
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first birthday i’ve had since i was 14 where i didn’t feel the slightest bit morose. thank you guys so much, i feel so blessed
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do any of y’all understand hegelian synthesizers or marxist dialects
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idk why i hated reading so much during my teenage years when the only video games i've played in the past 3 years have all been visual novels
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i’m like that one guy in catcher in the rye who’s always saying “certainly” and likes women in their thirties
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does anyone else get that feeling where it’s like your brain is rotting from the inside and you can only think negative thoughts
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“Are you a pederast by any chance?…No? Too bad!”
céline mentions how in africa all the civil servants hoped the colonial governor would fuck their wives, but he wasn’t interested because he was a homosexual. what the fuck is wrong with the french
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i find that drinking coffee tends to produce all the effects of caffeination
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they’re doing this to me tomorrow
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*dad walks into the room*
“so last night i had a dream that the dog was getting fucked in the ass by another dog”
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friend: dan you're so smart for you're age, you're really ahead of the curve
me: idk i think i'm a lobotomized idiot
friend: see? you're even ahead of socrates!
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as hard as i've tried to be an atheist or even just agnostic, i find that my faith in God is almost unshakeable. even when i'm struggling with doubt, or turn "cold", i'm still struggling; i can never settle for lukewarmness or placidity
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uhm hello GRRM the ptolemaic kingdom just called… they want their divinely sanctioned incest back
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there’s a sam hyde clone walking around this retro arcade with his pastel goth gf
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it's gonna be really sad when dan hentschel becomes a washed up unfunny e-celeb like dril or something
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Ancient men conquered cities put them to the sword and fire, meanwhile you go to WINE BAR with ‘gf’ and enjoy tasteful banter…YOU ARE GAY!
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