Melissa
@poodawgmelissa
Followers
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Following
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Media
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Statuses
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poker player, commentator, dog mom/snake daddy. half 🇯🇵 half 🇦🇺 full 👹
Joined July 2019
@Joeingram1 @philivey @IAmMaverick888 @HCLPokerShow why they look like two kids giving a class presentation
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What in the actual fuck just happend on the ballys stream?!? . Austin just said this word for word to Jason. "Jason, do you remember who i am? I will fuck your mother in front of you and torture her while you watch" . WTF was thatttt?!?! Can someone give me an update?!?.
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Most of this poker training out there are complete trash, by people who can’t even beat the games. Give me about a year and I’ll make the best content there has ever been and offer my masterclass for free. That’s a promise. Happy Father’s Day to all the great dads out there ♥️.
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6 years. A reminder of where I once was. Grateful for the life I get to live today 🙏🏻
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4 years ago today, a moment of clarity showed me where i was headed - i saw my future kids being afraid of me like i was afraid of my mom. i was a blackout drunk doing coke/xanax/ketamine/anything. harming myself and others. everything is different now. eternally grateful❤️.
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GG greg.
NSFW: Man Sends Woman Unsolicited Dick Pic And Then Tries To Get Her Fired After She Roasts His Genitals
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Overheard at WSOP. Guy on phone in hallway: “Baby I had the nuts. No this time I did. I was like 95% until he made a better hand on the river”.
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@nautalii girl with older brothers here. i had dropkicks practiced on me before i could ride a bike.
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BREAKING: GG Poker superuser MoneyTaker69 revealed to be rapper 21 Savage
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poker is weird bc you learn, become aware of how bad you were before, then that happens over & over so ur exponentially more aware of how little u know relative to what there there is to know so u feel worse at it as u get better anyway does anyone have therapist recommendations.
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normal people: we can’t split the bill so i’ll venmo request you for the exact amount. poker players: let’s gamble on an obscure crocodile tooth-pulling game to see who is going to pay for everything.
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me: i’ll remember this hand history. i don’t need to write it down. me retelling it later:
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Very uneventful Wsop after the early 3rd. Booked a small win at what is likely my last Wsop. Time for a new start. .
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Biggest flex is not drinking this year despite temptations. 3+ years without a drink and still going 💪🏼 . At my worst I was a shell of me, grasping for whatever I could. People like me only get worse from there. Life is a lot different and more meaningful now. So worth it 🌎.
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in 2022 i:.- took more risks/played more live cash.- 2xed my booty.- made my commentary debut.- 5 years sober from being a blackout drunk/drugwoman.- did 2.5 months of lab grind (100k+ hands + daily studying).-shidded and farded. in 2023 i will:.- be bussin.- slay.- buy a casino.
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“Not now honey, daddy’s cyberbullying”
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hellmuth: complains about being buried, tells dealer to hurry up. also hellmuth: open jams AK for 250bb, gets no action.
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@downbadpatrol She’s being rude wtf he was so nice about it. He prob would have been chill if she said no damn why she gotta TKO him like that.
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Hey @WSOP what’s the policy on men going into the ladies room? This guy just stormed in and got mad at us when we told him to leave saying “anyone can use any bathroom these days” . Just wondering
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thank god @MariaHo is in the booth or we would have gotten a 5 hour stream about trivia, softball hall of fame picks, and gibberish rants while the biggest final table in poker plays in the background.
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every MTT i play is one step closer to selling my farts in a jar.
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sorry guys ill just go back to tweeting ass pics, forgot who my audience was.
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Finally playing my first full WSOP schedule this year. All it took was seeing that Mike The Situation has a better hendonmob than me.
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It’s time to take a page out of the NFL’s book and add some more women to the poker audience. @icespicee_ is now dating @themouthmatusow per TMZ
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May 2022 vs May 2023 gains. Hope I don’t lose it all grinding. Happy WSOP everyone 💪
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UNPOPULAR OPINION. Ladies tournaments are useless and better served by cash game social nights where the list can be made private. And there is no need for female leaderboards. *braces for impact*
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reminiscing on the time i got really bad lash extensions then went to play 1/3 right after, and within 20 min got asked if i was a prostitute. first of all, rude. if i were a prostitute i'd be rolled for more than 1/3.
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3 things are certain in life: death, taxes, and guys giving unsolicited coaching in dms after we play at the same table.
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@rampagepoker Wtf?!? That’s an insane amount to loan to someone you don’t know named Dustin Da Closer. 😩😩😩😩.
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don’t tell me you know anything about cars unless you can tell me where this part goes
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you're kidding right? the investigators are being used to. dox twitter troll accounts. ?.
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felt cute might unearth my retired twitch channel and and take over
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poker rooms in vegas: please do not eat or exist at the table. poker rooms in texas: DOES ANYONE WANT A HOT DOG???.
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For everyone trying to gotcha me with political questions: this has nothing to do w trans the guy knew exactly what he was doing and admitted it. But yes keep wasting your breath trying to bait me into some braindead back and forth.
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when you battle from 200bb below ev to a solid $3 profit on the day
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Love that for him.
Rip match over set over set in 3b pot for 300 something k pot.
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sometimes i like to think that dead poker players are in the afterlife making side bets on us.
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i generally don't speak out much on these hot buttons and prefer to shitpost and meme but since i have relevant personal experience and am losing braincells seeing people arguing w/o having the correct info, here:
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Happy Father’s Day ❤️ I lost my dad when I was 9 - he was my bestie! Sending love to any of my fellow dad-holers today 🫂 . And ofc HFD to all the great dads out there
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After seeing his responses here and realizing there have been even more attempts to contact me than I previously thought, I will be filing the order of protection today.
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