Dr Platypus Shark, PHD in Clown Studies
@platypus_shark
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Proud Veteran of the War on Christmas. These dumb tweets are the opinions of this wee lass and not her employer
Queens
Joined December 2009
Yao Ming's wife is 6'3" lol
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This interview is a representation of how awful Wendy is:.1) Slut-shames her for her clothes.2) Brings up sexual harassment and says she's being overdramatic.3) Brings up childhood molestation.4) Puts her on the spot to talk about her sexual orientation.
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@wecampinboy It was through both being olympic chinese basketball players so it makes sense.
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Michelle Williams and her fiancé are waiting till marriage?? They're like 40 lmaoooo the bible didn't even expect y'all to be alive this long it's voided just get it on.
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They had a collab in these outfits at this location before the first iteration of how does this mean dropped. Meaning a rotation of women was his plan all along. Genius Kyle.
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Being a millennial who can make phone calls is very powerful.
It’s a shame that it comes to this but one of the most annoying life hacks you have to learn as an adult is picking up the phone and (politely) be like “hey what the fuck is going on here?” You can often get an issue turned around so quickly 😭.
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Wait there's only one black mirror episode this season
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The first woman to have ever died due to the Hyde Amendment, Rosie Jimenez died in the same area in 1977. The women of the Rio Grande Valley- disproportionally poor, hispanic and living in a conservative state, suffer severely due to these laws.
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This is how it feels to be a demisexual in our society 😔
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Oh that's your girl? Then why is she dming me on Instagram asking where I got my dress and then replying thank you when I tell her. Lmao.
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The combined misogyny Olivia Wilde gets from Jason Sudeikis and Harry Styles for the crime of dating or not dating their idol. .
Olivia Wilde was reportedly served with custody papers from Jason Sudeikis on stage at #CinemaCon, where she was showcasing her new film ‘Don’t Worry Darling.’. (
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@JayElHarris Half of the native new yorkers are just the children of transplants who moved here in like. 1995.
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Guys who identify as sapiosexual are always extremely stupid and exclusively date women 15 years younger than them.
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Why am I defending Cassie? Because I was also a 32G in high school. It really makes you insane.
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We need to stage an age gap discourse intervention for gen z
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@WrittenByHanna chrissy was right when she said all these babies look like him because he looks like a baby. lmao.
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Joseph Fiennes has been cast as Michael Jackson
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It's sad the amount of things people will deny themselves from doing cause they think it's shameful to do alone.
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Lol all the celebrity liberals scared of getting taxed.
Whoopi Goldberg to Ocasio-Cortez: "Sit still" and "learn the job" before you "start pooping on people"
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Pray for her.
Many of you have commented with “DM me” - so I am opening my DMs for tonight and tomorrow for question recommendations.
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"Get a sugar daddy" and "plastic surgery for everyone" is what feminism has culminated to for so many of you and it makes me want to die.
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Just saw a writer put "anti-queer" instead of homophobic
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And is "the left" in the room with us right now?.
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If you actually read section 17.8 of the Affordable Care Act it explicitly states that Shay Mitchell is legally barred from playing a straight person.
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@bannedmommygf There's a movement of women who are labeling all of their unexplained generic symptoms (fatigues, aches, etc) as lyme disease, despite the fact they've never tested positive for lyme disease, and despite chronic lyme disease not existing.
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12 year old me listening to MIA deciding I'm gonna overthrow the government
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Hard to discern the incredibly bitter gays from the legitimate homophobes in the quote tweets.
our first skin-to-skin. and she fell alssep right away. nothing ever felt this natural im literally in heaven i dont know how else i can describe it.
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@tech_grrrl @meganamram Back in my day an assassin got health insurance and paid sick days!.
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When I spend 6 hours cooking for my family for Thanksgiving and my 26 year old daughter shows up in a VAGINA shirt in order to incite my father with early stage dementia
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MORE PROOF THAT ALEXA DEMIE IS LYING ABOUT HER AGE (1/45) She was my middle school vice principal and gave me a detention for wearing shorts.
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I watch this and remember that she's taller than average and ascend.
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Me For the Past 5 Years: Demi Lovato and Her Music are corny as heck.Me Now:
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I wish those TikTok lesbians would bite their lips and talk about some rent control.
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There's literally nothing unattractive with non straight teeth americans just have this weird obsessiveness with unnaturally straight and white looking teeth to the point where every media person has veneers.
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Has it ever occurred to a lot of you that there are actually lots of liberals/leftists in the South, suffering under our conservative governments, and saying we're all bad hicks who deserve it is so incredibly cruel?.
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call me old fashioned but I was raised to SERVE my wife. Cook for her every night & clean up the messes she makes. If she cheats on me then it’s MY bad she caught ME slipping. because I just wasn’t satisfying her needs and I will try to make up for it everyday.
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Me after I thought I was gonna meet Hillary Clinton and then found I wasn't allowed because I couldn't pay her $1000
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Once someone posts this you know they're not vaccinated.
“ Think “while it’s still legal.
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Gonna start posting this shit to my Instagram story so I can get a hot stroller mom in Park Slope to subsidize my rent
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The urge to say that I know where that is in red hook
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Well. I got laid off. If you work at any business that is potentially hiring software engineers please contact me.
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Elizabeth Holmes Halloween costume complete
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I got a job offer. I'm sorry the unemployment tweets will be over
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In what world is Corpus Christi not South Texas
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@Twonesterr Also that's not even her boyfriend- she is dating a white woman. They're jumping to a lot of conclusions based on a picture of her walking next to someone lmfao.
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Imagine WWII. The girls would have been on here like, "OK but Mussolini's jawline 🙈".
BREAKING: every woman in your life now has at least a small crush on Volodymyr Zelenskyy and there's absolutely nothing you can do about it.
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So that's when when it went too far for him huh
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One is stealing directly from poor workers and the other is stealing from a major corporation who will be absolutely fine and in fact has already accounted for you stealing in their budget? They are absolutely not the same thing.
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If you want to know what people actually think of your looks, say something slightly controversial on here. People will rush to tell you.
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The most iconic thing my college did is ask all (2) of us openly LGBT freshmen stand up during orientation and have the other students clap for us.
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Young enough to get the HPV shot as a tween, old enough to miss juul addiction in high school, the sweet spot of avoiding cancer risk.
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Rue saying she and Jules are taking it slow and then immediately getting a tattoo of a portmanteau of their names. Perfect lesbian representation.
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And who's cleaning and dining staff and adjunct professors live below the poverty line.
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Rice Christians befriending me freshman year
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I HATE HATE HATE when men blame men's systemic problems (domestic violence, refusal to do domestic labor, etc) on women "picking bad men".
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Good Evening, Jameela Jamil was a 24 month sociological study conducted by Harvard University. We are now complete with our study. Thank you for your time.
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I think we can acknowledge that the US's utter failure to control COVID is the fault of the government and also beg people to not go to 15 person Thanksgivings so a tens of thousands of more people unnecessarily die as a direct result.
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Straight women show up to pride thinking it's coachella😭.
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This is an iCarly character.
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Been thinking about King Princess calling her album "a thicc queen" for the past 22 hours.
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When I tell New Yorkers I've lived in Houston and Austin they always say, "I've heard good things about Austin," and then I say I actually liked Houston better and they look at me like this
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Me:.Unvaccinated people: You realize you can still get COVID with the vaccine right???.
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Me writing my first assignment for Spanish 101.
My wife is Indian. She is Hindu, and she is incredible in every way. She has taught me so much about her culture and religion. I love and admire her so much, and as you can see we have fun together. Happy Karva Chauth to everyone!
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The power imbalance of an 18 year old dating a 17 year old.
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It's important to understand how this virus primarily spreads. I see a lot put in a ton of effort to do the things that barely matter and then don't even do the important things.
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It sucks you can't make your bio a video
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All those posts of women and girls with pictures of Emily Ratajkowski captioned "Guess I better stop eating" are. upsetting.
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