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ok am i hormonal or is this the best thing to come out of facebook
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i know i posted him only .5 seconds ago but i am honest to god losing it at this cat im posting him again
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i dont think my boyfriend, the 12-foot Halloween Skeleton from Home Depot, would be too pleased to hear about this
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texting my crush “hey infant” instead of baby so they know i’m smart and regularly use my thesaurus
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i know a Pervert when i see one..
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dont feel like it
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his ass is not cunty he’s serving goofy at best
him: you better not be a cunty sugar jar when I get there
me:
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pretty fucked up how i’m constantly bored but literally nothing interests me. what is that called
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god why am I not the baby wrapped in Baby Cabbage Flannel Wrap Blanket
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girls who study abroad be like take me back i miss the leaning tower of pisa
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i simply would never “be in the right headspace,” it’s just not in my nature
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don’t know who olivia rodrigo is im 27 im still listening to Electric Feel by MGMT
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noooooo.. tested positive right after getting ready to go out… nevertheless she served
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age 5: i want to be a dog when i grow up
age 21: i want an office job to make money after college
age 25: i want to be a dog when i grow up
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would love to take my eyeballs out of their sockets and rest them in a cold glass of water on my bedside every night while i sleep. thats my wish
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dating a skinny guy is cool until you realize it’s a cardboard cutout of robert pattinson as edward cullen you found in the trash because you’re living alone in a post-apocalyptic world
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get you a boyfriend who will punch his drywall so you can eat the insulation like cotton candy
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being a stupid girl online and being a stupid girl in real life just cancels out and makes me a genius, actually
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he’s going straight onto my charcuterie board
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it’s ok to be lonely and to also be a stoner and free your mind at night
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hm..i need to sit on the couch in silence scrolling on my phone at a friend's house about this..
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i went to The Hater Building and they made me CEO
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my favorite hobby is looking out the window. absolutely go nuts for this shit and can you believe it’s free
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god i can’t wait to be old
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tired of hereing about dick and also pussy. tell me more about why ants are so strong! the real stuff!
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if wes anderson did watergate
Richard Nixon’s resignation lunch: pineapple slices, cottage cheese, and a glass of milk.
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(teaching grammar in the year 2032)
ok and just add an "lol" at the end of the sentence to make it sound sincere
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drinking a coffee and experiencing the Me and My Three Weed-Smoking Gfs tumblr post for the first time
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(wearing a beret and smoking a cigarette) i am.. how you say? “huge fucking idiot”
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oh, honey, he comes from a vanilla bean/clean linens family? you know we’re strictly lavender and eucalyptus scented household..
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leave brooms ALONE. they only stand up like that when they are very scared
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does anyone want to endorse me im not running for anything but i would like the attention and support
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hey im so glad you i’m glad you hey i’m so i’m so glad you hey! i’m so glad i’m glad you reached out i’m so glad you reached you reached i’m so hey! i’m so glad
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teaching my son to catch a vibe instead of a baseball when he gets older, like a man
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its okay to be broke as fuck with a crippling caffeine addiction and with a small brain as fuck
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these titties are protected by a skinny white guy in his mid thirties who wears dc shoes yells at me in public and is addicted to percs who was born in february
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hey your strong gf is back. do you need help opening that jar?
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/ ))) _
／ イ (((
( ﾉ ￣Ｙ＼
| (＼ ∧＿∧ ｜ )
ヽ ヽ`(´･ω･)_／ノ/
＼ | ⌒Ｙ⌒ / /
\ヽ ｜ ﾉ／
＼ ﾄー仝ーｲ /
｜ ミ土彡 ｜
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