Paul Chowdhry
@paulchowdhry
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85,136
Following
141
Media
1,078
Statuses
5,824
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England
• 699163 Tweets
Bellingham
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#EURO2024
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YOYOK
• 10568 Tweets
'An Indian Prime Minister and a Muslim London Mayor. I told you they'll come over here and steal our jobs' Says John 56 - lorry driver.
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Sad situation of the Syrian kid getting bullied at school.
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I'm not Anjem Choudary, you Bastards.
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#BorisSpeech
Well that cleared that up. Tomorrow I’m driving for ten hours to go for a walk and sit on a park bench.
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Students have been told they’ve failed their exams before taking them. Now they know what it’s like to have Indian parents.
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Lads Day Out at the March on Saturday.
You woke snowflakes just don't get us, we were born in this country!
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What Meghan didn't understand with a royal marriage, is you don't just marry the person, you marry the family, followed by inevitable fights and drama. It's just like a normal Indian marriage.
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My anti bullying video got banned from Instagram. Here's my open letter to Instagram.
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When will they develop a vaccine against the racism virus?
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Zayn Malik is "thrilled" about Gigi Hadid's pregnancy and so are his family.
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Haven't been nominated for anything but I'm here at the
#ComedyAwards
supporting comedians who sell less tickets than me, but I'm not bitter. I'm so happy for all of them wankers.
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Replacing Suella Braverman with David Cameron, is like replacing a broken condom with cling film.
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Quarantine is tough on your mental health. Just had a massive fight with my girlfriend, then I realised I don't have a girlfriend. Still lost the argument.
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My friend
@madrisimo77
has been stuck on the Elizabeth Line for almost 3 hours. People are using train tracks as toilets, with some even using their seats. And he just became a British citizen after immigrating from Bangladesh. Welcome to England, mate.
@TfL
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Rise of the Planet of the Apes. No disrespect to Apes.
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Rishi Sunak, becomes the first ever Indian Prime Minister on Dewali. You can't write this stuff.
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Dave - 'You lot' don't celebrate Christmas do you?
Me - We do, but we see our family all the time, not once a year.
Dave - How come?
Me - Cos we live with them innit.
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Broner still thinks he won after throwing less than half the punches of Manny? Broner is a great motivational speaker.
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When I look at this picture, I'm unable to sleep as I lie there, grinding my teeth and dreaming of the day when she is made to parade naked through the streets of every town in Britain while the crowds chant, 'Shame!' and throw lumps of excrement at her.
#itsjustajoke
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I'm highly offended about Trump calling certain countries Shitholes! Why? Because his list didn't include Bradford or Dudley etc. Trump, I can help you with this list.
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Rishi Sunak got killed off by Liz Truss, then came back and became Prime Minister today. Hindu's were right about reincarnation.
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From Thursday restaurants in the UK will close at 10pm. That's fine for English people, 'tea time' is 6pm! 6pm is when brown people have lunch, then dinner at 10pm. You won’t see us in restaurants anymore, unless we’re working there.
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Never trust anyone on WhatsApp, who turns off both their read receipts and last seen status. These people are always lying Kunjar's.
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Remember all the abuse I got for this just a few months ago?
#BlackLivesMattters
Banned Zee TV Interview about Shah Rukh Khan. There goes my Bollywood career.
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Remember the days in boxing when Mike Tyson sold a fight with Lennox Lewis by telling him he's gonna eat his children? Today Eubank Jr is having two weeks of abstinence and Connor Benn is trying to get pregnant.
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As you can see I'm overwhelmed to receive a platinum plaque from
@YouTube
. Subscribe before I get banned. Make-up tutorial videos coming soon.
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Banned Zee TV Interview about Shah Rukh Khan. There goes my Bollywood career.
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The
#royalbaby
is born. Better go round Buckingham Palace with some ladoos, jalebis and barfi. They best let me in, I spent £10 at Ambala.
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This was a personal picture to me, as it was an honour to have spent time with such an inspirational comedy icon. We were in a movie called ‘Swinging with the Finkles’ in 2011. A great man and a true legend. You’ll be missed. RIP Jerry Stiller.
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Can't believe what I woke up to. Thank you Trump, you're the best. Trump has spoken.
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Please inform the BBC that I won’t be appearing on MOTD tonight.
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The Logan Paul vs Dillon Danis fight was so bad that I tried to get a refund from DAZN, after I streamed it for free.
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#WilderFury
was Fury robbed or is the boxing audience being robbed yet again? Feels like this is set up for another let's rip off the fans again. Boxing promotion translation - draw = double money. This is why MMA is taking over.
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Hey shoppers, the shops are gonna be closed for one day tomorrow, not 100,000 years. Calm the f**k down Bastards, you're gonna kill someone. Oh yeah, and Merry Christmas.
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When I gave advice to the Speaker Rt Hon John Bercow, I was only joking. Didn't think he'd do it. Brexit means Shat App Bastard. ORDER ORDER.
#IStandWithBercow
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Kash Ali is a proper kuffar for biting David Price, he's not even halal.
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My face today when I heard Prince Harry killed 25 members of the Taliban
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Had a lovely relaxing time at the park today. Let me know if you find my phone cos this kuthi teefed it innit
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Just watched the first five minutes of Peaky Blinders. It's set in Birmingham and there's no Indians in it? Racist Blinders, Bastard!
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Apparently we've all had an accident that wasn't our fault...
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So gutted for my Leeds
@CityVarieties
audience that my show was cancelled after the first half. Cancel culture has gone too far. I'll be back, the matrix can't stop us.
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Is it just me, or does this three week lockdown feel like almost a year?
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