Patricia Mou
@patriciamou_
Followers
35K
Following
9K
Media
871
Statuses
3K
souls, spaces, society • co-founder @thesfcommons, flâneuring @HarvardGSD, going down @rabbitholes_
Cambridge, MA
Joined May 2018
the reason Koreans don't need 3rd spaces is because there is already a coffee shop optimized around beauty & slowness on every other block. this is prevalent across all of Asia. i'm concluding that it's the culture that creates this, not the other way around. it we want more of
309
3K
28K
my prediction is that the alcohol-driven culture of nightlife is going to go though a huge upending . Now is a good time to open that late night decaf tea house, evening bathhouse, game board parlor, or cozy cafe that closes at 2am
2K
2K
25K
For my birthday this year, my dad gifted me a dirty bottle of water. Not kidding. In the past he’s gifted me: a first aid kit, pepper spray, an encyclopedia, a key chain, dedicated a book he wrote to me, etc. good ol dad gifts. He told me this years gift was extra special as
189
2K
21K
Beijing City Library just opened 📚 . the design is inspired by ginko trees "a place where you can be sitting under a tree, reading your favorite book’.
248
3K
17K
the main honest insight from my travels in China is that the quality of life is much better than the US on a pure wellbeing, safety, physical and social infra level . Chongqing, a tier 2 city, is much more developed than all tier 1 US cities combined . as a woman I can walk
2K
2K
12K
I think I found the best reading spot in all of the Bay Area . 📍mill valley public library
98
377
10K
🚵♂️ SF just dropped a new 17 mile walking/biking trail called The Crosstown Trail - created by locals who believe in building community & adventuring outdoors. It runs through hidden trails, public parks, shopping corridors, tiled stairways, & community gardens.
90
426
7K
Let's be honest, reading books and buying books are two completely different hobbies.
99
1K
7K
starting an ongoing thread of my favorite 3rd spaces or "community living rooms" in San Francisco 🛋️ . 📍Arcana - a bar x plant shop in the mission that hosts a line-up of local musicians.
78
432
6K
“An old friend of mine, a journalist, once said that paradise on earth was to work all day alone in anticipation of an evening in interesting company.” . ― Ian McEwan, Machines Like Me
44
703
6K
my political party is: more walls need to become windows
97
243
4K
starting an ongoing thread of my favorite 3rd spaces or "community living rooms" in NYC 🛋️ (that you probably haven't heard about) . 📍Land to Sea - a brooklyn multi-use creative space & coffee shop with the goal to uplift and support local creators of color
47
298
4K
thinking about how perfect this urbanscape in Shanghai is:. - tiered lawn with ergonomics to support lounging and naps without it being awkward.- positioned right below trees for shade.- overseeing a plaza where people dance and exercise for maximal people-watching capabilities
21
908
4K
beautiful 3rd space in Mexico City: . library, restaurant, yoga studio, and storefront for local artisans all-in-one. 📍 Tetetlán
17
241
4K
we already do. but in Chengdu, China
We must build glorious things again.
94
272
3K
Update: he wants the water bottle back to continue to preach his gospel to more souls 😂
40
39
3K
Richard Feynman's love letter to his dead wife (1946) showing me relationship goals: . “You, dead. Are so much better than anyone alive. I’ve met many nice girls & don’t want to remain alone, but in 3 meetings they all seem ashes to me. You only are left to me. You are real.”
53
493
3K
my definition of "made it". more so the wall of books & floor-to-ceiling windows to peer wistfully out of, & not the penthouse apt
62
191
3K
why it's hard to make friends as an adult:. where there's shared context (seeing the same people over many months daily i.e. workplaces) there's a lack of shared interests . where there's shared interest (hobby groups, bookclubs, etc) there's a lack of shared context.
55
299
3K
every year i have the same new year resolution: . “An old friend of mine, a journalist, once said that paradise on earth was to work all day alone in anticipation of an evening in interesting company.” .― Ian McEwan
13
280
3K
PMs: thanks for your thoughts, we'll add it to the backlog
22
198
2K
Also I have not seen a single homeless person on the streets.
201
112
2K
🧵ongoing thread to locate the futurists and philosophers of the Internet who are pursuing deep learning and thinking. Below are fascinating Internet niche communities (that aren't reddit) and long-form publications I've come across:.
74
436
2K
personal update: quit my job this week 🙌. what's next? . dedicating the upcoming years (decades?) towards building products that help humans become more mindful 🧠.
83
28
2K
realizing that my relationship secret sauce is we both spends days going down our respective intellectual rabbit holes . only to emerge from the ruins to share our learnings over morning coffee . having an intellectual soulmate is underrated in todays compatibility discourse 🤔.
29
78
2K
very into trains making a comeback . 📍 The Orient Express Train, La Dolce Vita with crawls across the Italian Rivera
16
217
2K
forget interior design, one well placed window is all you need
26
71
2K
Love this. A visual insights designer at Nike by day, Gladys Orteza, spends her off-hours transforming otherwise dull stock market charts into brilliant landscapes. Below: $F (Ford), $TSLA (Tesla), $DIS (Disney), $SPOT (Spotify)
27
338
2K
vibes that calm the soul. low to the ground homes, warm lanterns, canopy greenery, rain, & wet asphalt 🍃
18
107
2K
the issue with a majority of San Francisco's culture of authentic relating, circling, cuddle parties, "deep convo" events, is that it’s intimacy without relationship. Closeness without friendship. In other words, porn. It may feel good when you’re doing it, but empty.
67
80
1K
I wish there was a dating app that matched you to people reading the same books as you. books are a great heuristic for values and passions. Icebreakers could be seeded from passages you both highlighted. best case: you find ❤.worst case: you get a new reading buddy 📚.
93
74
1K
bestttt writing advice I've come across . cliff notes from 1.5 hr lecture
18
157
1K
A shining example of physical community infra:.
an amazing third space designed for slow connection: 📍 People’s Park, Chengdu . - 3 large tea pavilions overlooking the pond .- free cards and board games .- 100s of types of tea available on tap and food stalls of delicacies from varying regions .- masseuses, ear cleaners, &
31
76
1K
Have observed that too much inner-work, ruminating & unwinding past conditioning, can actually become counterproductive and self-flagellating . At some point you have to raise the ceiling. Exposing yourself to high stakes situations like falling in love, doing risky shit,.
30
90
1K
apparently these are the vibiest up-n-coming towns in America according to apartment therapy 🏠. can anyone here deny/confirm?
174
19
985
my latest essay ✍️. "Our deepest want is to have no wants. We think we want choice, but our hearts secretly desire for absolute surrender, unraveling upon a single axis.”.
32
122
935
guys the SF coffee shop scene leaves a lot to be desired. but I have found one that may redeem it all: . ✔️ outlets .✔️ high ceilings for big brain thoughts .✔️ trees for big Tao energy .✔️ coffee shop serving high quality farm-to-table food . 📍 Lighthouse Coffee Shop
31
8
936
the next time someone calls me an "amateur", i will take it as a deep compliment
4
101
916
my new meditation nook :)) . I want to make it super easy for people to design this kind of space for themselves. Like and i'll dm you a link list of everything in this photo
36
12
921
an amazing third space designed for slow connection: 📍 People’s Park, Chengdu . - 3 large tea pavilions overlooking the pond .- free cards and board games .- 100s of types of tea available on tap and food stalls of delicacies from varying regions .- masseuses, ear cleaners, &
24
103
871
definitely not gate-keeping the best place I’ve found to study and read in SF. 📍Del Santo Reading Room on University of San Francisco campus ft. free Wi-Fi, ample plugs, quiet, and dark academia vibes
27
26
844
when I say i have to leave the party early to go home, I blame it on this 🧘🏻♀️
21
20
822
“Find a relationship where you, naturally being you, makes the other person happy. And the other person, naturally being the other person, makes you happy” – @naval. Our relationships are mirrors. When who we're with isn't a reflection of the values we hold, we feel dissonance.
8
82
819
I believe our life-long quest to find a romantic partner, is not only to evolutionarily reproduce, but also a subconscious urge to heal. Finding a partner that triggers your trauma, but creates a different outcome, is one of the most efficient ways to re-pattern trauma. "He is.
27
90
789
1/ I took a week off to ponder my ever-evolving definition of success:. Could the success I thought I wanted. actually prevent me from doing the thing I actually wanted to do?. a thread 🧵on the downsides of wealth and fame, and upsides of autonomy and creative expression 👇
24
99
759
"the gradual + slow build of something beautiful and substantial interests me more than suddenly giving into what feels convenient or pleasurable in one slice of a moment in time"
7
112
724
amidst all the pics of family / friend Christmas cheer, it is also totally okay if you want to be / are alone and revel in being here by yourself instead:
19
14
709
funny enough, a book i'm reading called "Preparing to Die" by Andrew Holecek has really good instructions on how to go about life
3
98
707
one of the biggest accomplishment of my 20s is realizing that most career ladders are just treadmills, most promotions already undervalue you, and all I care about is building cool shit with people who energize me. New year, same questions 👇
12
58
708
Cathedral of 80,000 books 😍 at newly opened bookstore Dujiangyan Zhongshuge, located in Chengdu.
28
98
675
Hot take: is it harder to make friends these days because we have actually become more shallow? . In Nicomachean Ethics, Aristotle characterizes three types of friendships: friendships of utility (based on mutual usefulness), friendships of pleasure (based on shared hobbies and.
25
93
695
Point of clarity: I don’t mean that coffee shops aren’t 3rd spaces. I mean there ls.not a need for *additional or even different* third spaces with the same urgency that Americans have towards building them. My point is that it’s already everywhere in Korea / Asia via culture.
8
40
680
after studying in basically every library / study spot in cambridge, I've found that the best study spots are still mom & pop cafes where there is a sense of *life* vs. institutional heaviness. In these life-filled places, I've found that insights come through more easily, esp.
17
17
677
We don't need more cafes and social clubs to feel less lonely. What we need are more spaces that can help us feel fundamentally okay and seen in our deep aloneness. We are all alone on this journey. Following the telos of our unique unfolding purpose is ultimately our own cross
33
70
661
a personal update~ . I'll be starting my master's at @HarvardGSD this Fall while concurrently running @thesfcommons 🔭. I share this mainly to encourage anyone who's on the fence about grad school or taking time off to explore something deeply - to not be afraid to follow your
42
3
648
I've noticed that whenever people unfold into their purpose they become an activated part of a lattice. A nexus point where energy starts congealing and flowing. Other people gravitate towards this nexus because it activates something that lives within them & slowly they become.
20
69
636
after many iterations, here is my current weekly review template. hope it can help guide your upcoming week! 💪. "the unexamined life is not worth living"
22
47
623
after seeing some 800~ events take place at The Commons i've learned 3 things: . 1) plausible deniability: if you say we're here to make friends, friendship doesn't happen. if you say we're here to research or talk about niche topic x and y, friendships always form. same applies.
13
48
624
What's the best thing you've ever bought for your mental or physical wellness? . my product recommendations below 👇
44
21
618
After a year of running a 3rd space, I no longer believe 3rd spaces live up to their promises of community. I propose instead, “the 4th place”. We have homes as first place, work as second place, public spaces as third place, & communities for meaning-making, as 4th place.
44
51
600
this morning I woke up to a message from probably the most based professor at Harvard:. "Most of you will not believe what I am about to tell you, which is that no one is in need of being saved, and you are not able to save anyone. If you were to believe these words, your entire
28
44
606
a few months ago I transitioned to sleeping on the ground on a tatami mat & now I’ve transitioned my work set-up to the ground too. it’s been the best thing I’ve done for my sleep, productivity, and ergonomics this year :) some tips / product recs:. 1. Sleep 🛌 Fulli Japanese
25
20
604
💫 some personal updates:. I’ll be joining @calm as a Sr. Product Manager! I'm elated to make the world a more mindful place at scale🧘🏻♀️. I’m also launching @WelldomStudio - a weekend Product Studio that builds exps to help humans be more mindful & well.
52
13
597
i would be so productive and well-read if cafe's of the future could reproduce a rainy and misty biosphere 24/7
18
19
582
ongoing thread of my favorite 3rd spaces or "community living rooms" in the East Bay aka Berkeley/Oakland 🛋️ . Berkeley's my hometown so esp excited to share these gems 😄. 📍Hidden Cafe, Berkeley - overlooking a small park, the cafe supports local artists & culinary artisans.
11
33
581
📍Varanasi . - ganga aarti / walk all the ghats .- best masala pizza at terracotta cafe .- soak in high vibration sites: Sarnath (where Buddha taught 1st lecture post-enlightenment), Kasi Vishwanath, etc. - wander Banaras University looking for scholars of jyotish & vedanta
15
8
592
📍Sea Ranch in Big Sur . In 1965, a group of young architects inspired by “living lightly on the land” created a utopian coastal community w 2,200 homes. The Lodge fts a general store, cafe, & community space. In Summer 2023, the lodge will have guest rooms you can stay in :D
13
17
576
another point I want to add: we can take the good aspects of other countries, without taking the bad. individual freedom and collective safety are not dualistic nor mutually exclusive. both sides of the same coin, their tension generates more creative solutions. this has always
31
54
549
having freedom over my time is better than my former $200K+ product mgmt salary. while starting The Commons we didn’t pay ourselves for 5 months and I lived off of savings of $2K/month. learnings: .1) I've objectively never been happier .2) you need less than you think to quit.
15
13
537
after a period of intensely reading primary literature (bhagavad gita, tao te ching, [long list of indian saints] etc.) i can't really read e-girl personal development / self-help substacks anymore, (including mine lol).
32
16
533
Reading room on an isolated beach with the sound of ocean waves streaming into the space. *swoons* 😌. 📍 Seashore Library in Heibei, China
9
29
519
imo the ideal age to go to college is 30. you've had a few years to tinker & know yourself. then you can choose a major w confidence & grapple with material deeply . college today is (mostly) a mimetic & zero-sum game. the oppty cost on human life and societal progress is huge.
24
25
489
I love downloading pdfs. It’s like ok this is mine now. 💁🏻♀️for your future google queries use "search term" + "filetype:pdf".
16
37
491
Too much discourse about whether to have children is around timing or money. The real questions to ask:. do I want to create another replica of this man in the world? Does our relationship enable a container for secure attachment and self-actualization? Have we “done the work”.
42
48
472
✨ After months of hard work, we are finally ready to share what we’ve been working on: @NewsletterStack! 🚀 A place to discover 300+ curated newsletters to help you learn about anything. co-creator @PhilHedayatnia cc @producthunt.
28
74
486
it's time to build more 3rd spaces: . homes outside of home 🏠. Places of refuge, where people can eat, relax, and commune in order to develop a sense of belonging to a place. Gathering places where community is most alive and people are most themselves. 🧵of cozy 3rd spaces 👇
15
53
474
got this amazing book documenting creative power couples throughout history. we should talk more about amazing partnerships that have changed the arc of history vs. gossiping about celebrity divorces
16
35
471
We need to reinvent the mall. Malls took off in the 1950s as an attempt to create community vibrancy amidst the influx of suburbs. Unsurprisingly, capitalism and "buying things" became the focus. What if we replaced "stores" in malls with just third spaces? A high density area.
62
46
451
large window that spills into a lush backyard is a love language. 📍Hosono House, San Francisco
8
11
438
