tater tot
@parakeetnebula
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Following
1,050
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Statuses
19,192
if u figure out who I am irl then plz taunt me as much as possible with the suspicion that you know,, push me to my breaking point, enjoy the fear in my eyes
Mars the moon
Joined October 2020
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Pinned Tweet
I would like to thank my friends and family for keeping me grounded and humble despite my overwhelming success, impossible bone structure, and Spartan physique.
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I don’t want to wear “clothes” I want to wear a diamond studded exoskeleton and very expensive perfume that is otherworldly and terrifying
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The lesson I learned is that you can wildly, drastically improve brain interconnectivity and neuroplasticity by being obsessed with practicing a skill that you’re absolutely terrible at, for two months
the lesson I learnt is that you can go surprisingly far in knowing something from knowing nothing if you are obsessed with it for two months
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You think it’s a sign of weakness to “need someone” but I think it’s a mark of profound cowardice to pretend that you don’t need anyone and that all people are interchangeable. Humans need other humans to love or else life is meaningless
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I was getting a pedicure and the guy doing my feet had a big tattoo on his arm in another language. “What’s that say?” I asked.
He paused, a moment of hesitation before he met my eyes, “It says I’m cowboy.”
Then he hung his head in shame and said “but I am not cowboy” :(
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I love getting breakfast with people early in the morning. They don’t have the energy to be anyone other than who they are. The moment isn’t a spectacle for consumption. The narrative for the day hasn’t been written yet, there’s still time to save the world
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Story time: so I was at the dentist getting my teeth 3d scanned for invisalign and the scanning machine would not work.
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@whatgreenlight
My theory is that obvious surgical enhancements make people look older because it’s a self-professed admission that they are past their prime. When someone obviously looks like they are fighting nature, they look older
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I’m suspicious of the modern therapy state because it’s a very useful apparatus in reinforcing the idea that you should not fundamentally trust your own thoughts/reactions to the world without approval from mainstream narratives and authority
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It’s so funny that coming at the same time is a trope in movies. Has this ever actually happened to you?
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@homemakinghunny
You tell a guy he has a dad bod and he is not going to interpret that as a compliment. The real difference is that men have owned the term and brought a kindof charm to it by doing so, but women are too traumatized by their flaws to be charming and delightful about them
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Him, lying in a hospital bed after a catastrophic car accident leaving him paralyzed from the waist down: Thank you for loving me even when it’s difficult
Me, a rational agent: Not so fast, buster. Our contract clearly states I’m entitled to a tax-free upgrade should I stumble
in a world of greater legibility, romantic partners would have the conversation about "I'd trade up if I found somebody 10%/25%/125% better than you" in advance, and make sure they have common knowledge of the numbers
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There’s a small number of people who are mentally stable, intelligent, brutally honest about reality, and also deeply believe to the core that they can shape all aspects of material reality according to their vision. These people are magic
once you keep an eye out for people conflating intelligence with courage you see it everywhere
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I think a lot of high-functioning people are good at masking their mental health issues because they learn to channel their self-abuse into productive things. They push themselves relentlessly in the name of self-improvement. But when the productive outlet goes away, the instinct
what about when your unhealthy addiction is extremely meaningful and probably net good
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But the cumulative effect of doing little things like this obsessively, all the time, is that your brain is more agile, capable, and holistically aware.
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I hate the love languages test because it always makes the gift giving people look like assholes
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You’ve let status games completely melt your brain and now you don’t know how to be a human when life gets real. I think you need to stand by the ocean and tell her your problems, just to experience the profound and terrifying silence of her response
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For example, I decided to learn to write with my non-dominant hand about 3 years ago. It took me ~2 months of excruciating, obsessive practice to gain fluidity.
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I wanted to hug him and say YES YOU ARE COWBOY FOREVER AND DON’T YOU FORGET IT OR NO TIP, ALSO I ONLY HAVE CARD NO CASH I HOPE THAT’S NOT A PROBLEM
it was a problem.
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Imagine the abundance that life will unlock for you once you decide to stop acting like a little bitch loser
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As he was leaving he said “let me know if you need me to come back in to help with the scans if these don’t work, I’m just 5 minutes away” and then he shook my hand and left
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And then the dentist came back in and ruined this moment of unreal sexual tension that was about to escalate into the porno of my dreams.
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And reader, this man was not just hot— he was beautiful. He looked like an Italian soap opera star; dark, piercing eyes, perfect bone structure. If he were an actor, he would never be cast as a dentist because nobody would ever believe someone this beautiful works a regular job.
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Something that the Japanese and women in general understand is that making everything cute and fun forces a degree of civility in society. This is often missing in societies lead by men, who are too insecure about their sexuality to admit to enjoying things that are cute and fun.
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@gunsnrosesgirl3
My favorite part is at the end when the beaver stops and thinks “is that good? Yeah that’s probably good”
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If you want to know what’s wrong with society, pay attention to the way kids make fun of adults. Kids always see the elephant in the room; they’re experts at identifying the invisible, unnecessary, absurd hangups and that adults struggle to identify, let alone overcome.
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The coolest discovery from this experiment is that there are certain things I am better at drawing with my right vs my left. Sometimes I switch hands for calligraphy.
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What’s the point of talking about things if nobody ever tells you what they really think
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Shhh babe I’m trying to gaslight you. I’m trying to manipulate you into loving yourself. I’m trying to undermine your foundational belief systems, specifically the belief that you’re unworthy of deep, transcendent love.
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Men should pay for dates and I’m sick of people pretending that it’s feminist go halfsies on everything. When a girl chooses to go out with a guy, she’s choosing to invest her time in him over other men, and for girls, time is an incredibly valuable resource.
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Some women secretly feel inadequate because they’re never proactively approached by men, so they enforce a culture where nobody is allowed to be approached by men. It’s the tyranny of the legbeards
Fact: Women do not want to be "eye candy" and have weird creeps "slip them their number" while grabbing food with friends.
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To simple minded losers, this was a total waste of time; zero ROI.
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Every guy should have at least 1 overwhelmingly life-threatening hobby. Something bad happens to men when they are too far removed from death
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You know when you are on a really long flight and hit the point where you run out of fun things to do so you just stare off into space and wait for the food to come, counting the minutes to landing? That’s what being in a nursing home is like except landing is death
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So I say hi to him on FaceTime and suddenly his whole demeanor changes. He says “you know what? I am 5 minutes away from your office, why don’t I cancel my meeting and stop in to help.”
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There are 2 great eras in life; life before you learn how figs are made, and life after
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I need you to love me in a way that forces me to be so intensely present in the moment that we accidentally open a back door to the true Reality of Now, where time loses itself like ink in water, its boundaries blurring and swirling into the shapeless present
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He keeps saying things like “you have such pretty teeth, you’re doing such a good job, open wider, good job” and we are making eye contact the entire time.
So after spending a while pretending the machine isn’t working, he finally finishes with a “good enough” scan.
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Did you know that you are allowed to be a vivid, multi-dimensional person with an active inner life and serious, ambitious goals and also enjoy the male gaze? You are allowed to wear a pretty dress because you like the way men look at you.
Isn’t it strange that girls desperately want to dress up like Barbie to see the barbie movie but feel like they can’t in regular life unless given an excuse? Isn’t it interesting that nobody is allowed to critique feminism without being labeled a gender traitor or misogynist?
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I thank him for helping and say “they should make smaller scanning machines” and he says “yeah it is too big, it just wouldn’t fit, would it? But you did a really good job”
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So in 5 minutes this beautiful man appears in the dentist’s office and he is even better than on FaceTime. He’s so tall and absolutely ripped with gigantic arms.
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So then he’s like “why don’t I just do the scan” and the dentist leaves the room without protest to let him do the illegal scan.
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Once a kid was bullying my brother in elementary school so my bro challenged him to a fight on the playground after school. Word spread and everyone was coming to watch the fight. But my bro forgot he had a dr appointment that day and my dad was picking him up early from school
Only once was my son bullied when he was younger and a much bigger boy went after him. School did nothing about it
His older sister punched the bully to the floor the day after and the bullying stopped
This was premeditated at family dinner, with our support. We chose Violence
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Being happy and learning to love your life is so much more rebellious than being miserable and hating the world. Misery requires no courage or vision.
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So we keep trying to do the scan and the rep keeps saying little things like “good job patient, you’re such a good patient” and I was like oh this is kind of hot, I want to see his face
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I have a masseuse named Crazy Hands who comes over and after the massage, she chastises you about the parts of your health you’ve been neglecting, and then assigns specific homework assignments to do for next time. If you don’t do the homework then she won’t see you as a client
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Funny how when you genuinely love yourself, people feel the need to constantly check you, to play the devil’s advocate, to knock you down a peg, as if you are at risk for becoming a raging egomaniac. But when you perform hating yourself, suddenly everyone is nice to you.
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I love when guys on a dating app say they like a girl with “ambition and goals.” Everyone has ambitions and goals. Who is this beige vessel woman they imagine with no ambition or goals? Also what if my ambitions and goals are to be hot and have fun
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Are we going to acknowledge that irresponsibly pump and dumping crisis news campaigns that unambiguously suggest that we are on the verge of total, world-ending collapse and extinction has effectively melted the minds of the youth?
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I have never seen a pair of pants elicit as much hatred as the pants I am wearing right now. I don’t understand why they make people so upset but I am about to get on a fight with a girl on the airplane over it. I am so excited
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It’s a really big, phallic looking wand with a strobe light camera attached to one end, but apparently I have a really little mouth so a procedure that should have taken 10 mins took over 2 hours of the dentist trying to fit this giant camera in my mouth.
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I am usually very happy and bouncy but deep within me lies a profound sense of sadness and loneliness that constantly threatens to destroy me, clawing at my soul with an unrelenting grip. It is a filthy, oozing, amorphous mass that pulsates and writhes in my mind, corrupting
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So we spend the next half hour facing the same problems we’ve been having, with him standing behind me so my head is at waist level, and holding my mouth open trying to fit this giant camera in the back of my mouth.
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@VelliJanta9211
This is why I think learning a new language is a superhuman skill. It forces the cemented part of your brain to awaken
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@visakanv
People don’t talk enough about how knowing someone for a long time can make it sooooo much better
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I have been researching this heavily and the answer is absolutely fucked, has anyone else been following this closely? I hate learning about it because it makes me so sad and mad
Yesterday marked the 60th known whale death on the East Coast since Dec 1, 2022. This is not normal.
The government says it’s not because of the wind industry’s high decibel pile driving & boat traffic in previously pristine waters. They’re lying. And now we have the proof.
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Men will never vote for a female president because deep down they know we will make the military dress like this, ushering in a new era of kawaii fascism
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@visakanv
Once I saw a total solar eclipse at a zoo and watching the collective sense of “wtf” among all the animals as totality approached was really interesting, especially the reactions of the birds and gorillas. I think we are going to find out that animals have been onboarded to
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So I offer to hold the FaceTime camera so he can “see the scanning screen more closely” but really I just wanted to see if he was hot
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I can’t see the rep on FaceTime but I can tell that he is very bored by her tech incompetence and keeps making excuses to end the call, saying that he legally is not allowed to perform scans on patients, that he has a very important in 5 mins that he needs to get to, etc.
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@TutorVals
How about they just help each other through hard times instead of abandoning each other in their time of need? Failing to understand the importance of this is what’s wrong with “the contract”
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My love is so real and so pure that you will have no choice but to become the man you are destined to become in response
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So the dentist decides to FaceTime the Invisalign rep to help her while she is doing the scan. We spend another half hour on FaceTime trying to fit the camera in my mouth and it’s still not working.
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The guy who played Ivan Drago in Rocky (Dolph Lundgren) turned down a Fulbright scholarship to mit to be grace jones’ bodyguard and boyfriend, and also has multiple degrees in chemical engineering wtf
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Two of my stalkers loved making deepfake porn of me. They would pretend to have found it on the internet and would share it with me out of fake concern in order to reestablish contact. It was really scary and uniquely violating. I imagine this feeling will become commonplace.
ok so real talk
video is gonna get real ugly once midjourney successors take off and start generating basilisk-adjacent content
it might not instantly kill ppl but i bet itll cause at least acute mental distress
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Whales commit mass suicide by voluntarily beaching themselves, sometimes with hundreds of whales at a time, and it’s almost certainly due to military sonar use.
I wrote an overview of what the science says on this if you want to understand more :(
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Today I finally did something I’ve been scared to do for years. I promised myself last night that I would do it today and I did it today
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Low self-esteem is just writing bad lore about yourself.
Captain’s log: you don’t properly mythologize yourself. You come up with incredibly creative lore around the low functioning, low self-esteem version of yourself. But you don’t apply the same creativity to writing lore and that reinforces the high functioning version
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Yesterday I learned that my cousin died of a fentanyl overdose last year. Her parents were so grief stricken that vanished to South America and didn’t tell anyone about what happened…
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In the USA, we don’t do cute little public rituals like this where you’re invited to share your sadness with strangers who accept grief as a universal, unavoidable experience of life. No, your grief is horrifying and alienating, please keep it to yourself.
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Today my brother married his girlfriend who he has been best friends with on the internet for the past 5 years. They have met once and she’s moving to Japan with him next week. I think it’s beautiful
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Throwback to this Valentine’s Day email I sent to a guy whose heart I was hoping to win back. This was draft 79.
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I know everything I need to know about someone by looking at their recent emojis. Share if u aren’t a coward
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These long-winded tirades are as tiresome as they are pointless. Feminism seems to be stuck on this hamster wheel, trapped in a cycle of constant motion with no progress. Yes, becoming a Truly Great Woman, with style, intelligence, and grace, is hard. It’s not supposed to be easy
imagine reducing a movie with the most heartbreaking/influential speech for women ever to a movie about “big boobs” like I’m so serious we need to find a way to reproduce without men
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Tangential but related: there’s a common stereotype that ppl who prioritize physical fitness/bodybuilding are not intelligent or lack intellectual depth but the discipline and effort required to sculpt one’s physique is a metaphor for the broader ability to shape one’s reality.
so ok lemme think out loud abt something comparatively trivial that I’ve been making attempts at for years n years: the challenge of trying to build muscle mass. I struggled and failed for years. But the basic principles of gainz are so simple!! So what exactly was I doing wrong?
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Captain’s log: you don’t properly mythologize yourself. You come up with incredibly creative lore around the low functioning, low self-esteem version of yourself. But you don’t apply the same creativity to writing lore and that reinforces the high functioning version
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From the get-go, I was crystal clear. If another dog comes along who is even 3% better than her, she’s out. Immediate upgrade.
in a world of greater legibility, romantic partners would have the conversation about "I'd trade up if I found somebody 10%/25%/125% better than you" in advance, and make sure they have common knowledge of the numbers
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*taps mic*
People want to enjoy outlier results more than they want to do outlier things
*taps mic*
People want to have power more than they want to wield it.
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women do this thing where they pretend to complain about getting too much male attention, but the goal isn’t to open discussion; the goal is to signal to the world that they are receiving male attention and are therefore desired
i’m honestly sad abt how difficult it is to have rlly close friendships w straight/fem attracted guys bc the more friendly & open i am the more they imply they’d like to have a sexual relationship w me & when i don’t reciprocate that they stop being friendly w me altogether 🙃
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I love this story because my dad is the greatest of all time, he never caved to the weird pressure of feminine socialization pushed in schools that fundamentally misunderstands the way boys communicate and solve problems.
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You should give pretty girls equity in exchange for dating you
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Imagine being unable to separate your emotions from your feelings of sexual intimacy towards someone…. It’s a crazy idea, but just imagine it
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Captain’s log: you cannot prison break someone who hasn’t decided to free themselves. They will hate you for dismantling the familiar comfort of their cage, and hate you even more for giving up. All you can do is gently open the cage and wait
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@Bela_Neumann
@tybuddhaboy
It’s not a new meme. Watch the movie back to the future and it’s obvious that this has been a weird fixation for a while
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I need you to fuck the fear of god into my tiny helpless body and then I would like to get an almond croissant
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I want to fuck you the way the first modern Homo sapiens did during the dawn of humanity, before the invention of religion, when humanity's purest essence was revealed in all its raw magnificence
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It’s really hard to change when you don’t have someone who you belong to
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@visakanv
But I think the metronome is used as a divine symbol embodying the essence of time and rhythm in its most elemental purity. It’s elegant, simple, and universal.
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I am very sad and I would like a 6 dimensional hug that feels like it’s hugging me and all my past selves at the same time because they need one too
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