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@paeganpoetry

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21 | attempting recovery

Joined March 2022
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If you have found me from my recent post, please don’t follow me. It’s not good for either of us. I’m so scared by the amount of attention the post is getting but it’s necessary to de-glorify ed’s here. Please be kind, I’m trying to be better. Please consider recovery.
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maybe don’t take fitness advice from disordered 15 year olds on the internet
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This is gonna come off bad but I had a realisation last night. An0rexia is like a hobby to me. In my free time I scroll edtwt, get my steps in, run my fingers along my bones, wear tiny clothing… i don’t consider it an illness at all, it’s actually just a little game.
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I’m… a little worried about girlhood being reduced to consumerism and pink again, idk I feel like we’re not really moving forward the way we intend to. Happy for Dylan though I guess, trans joy is resistance.
@basic_chanel
aimee
6 months
I’m living 💓💓💓💓
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@paeganpoetry
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10 months
How to actually achieve bmi low grades high 🧵 (harm reduction academia edtwt thread)
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EVERYONE LOOKS FAT TO YOU AFTER A POINT!!! And you feel like the WORST person for unconsciously analysing peoples bodies (especially negatively) but you genuinely can’t help it… (not so much with avergage+ bodies but people you previously considered skinny suddenly look fat.)
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@paeganpoetry
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10 months
“do I have EDNOS am I faking ana” EDNOS CRASH COURSE, WHAT IS IT AND DO YOU HAVE IT? 🧵
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baggy clothes thinsp0 that makes me want to cry because i dress like this but i don’t look like this 🪡
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A drunkorexic’s guide to drinking with a restrictive ed 🧵 (harm reduction for minors and people new to drinking/their ed)
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outdoorsy thinsp0 for my edtwt treehuggers 💚
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cant believe yall dont omad every day? no judgement just like that’s the only way i feel like i’m restricting? (for real no judgement just genuine surprise that this is not a shared experience)
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@paeganpoetry
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11 months
I need to share my current health status just in case it scares anyone into recovery, obviously scare tactics are lame but you know what’s lamer? Not being able to BREATHE because of the long term damage you’ve done to your body (1/9)
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@vsangeldiet ,,,,what the fuck??? i literally don’t care how disordered someone is that behaviour is inexcusable. and literally???? so untrue??? how can someone be THAT blind, im so sorry you had to hear that
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I MADE THE YUMMEST VEGAN SOYA CURRY 👐🏽
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I have something skinny to say?
@vimikasa
hana
8 months
This looks beautiful omg
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@Ioserkgs when did diet culture ever promote adding cals and fats
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@paeganpoetry
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10 months
1. Nuts and seeds should be your best friends. Fats are ESSENTIAL to brain functioning because they fuel the myelin on your neurons. “Ana brain rot” can happen at ANY bmi and imo is very likely due to a lack of healthy fats. But it can very easily be prevented !!
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Saw god.
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@paeganpoetry
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10 months
Bc (sporting 1kg of water weight) // I have been wearing these shorts for 10 kilos and miraculously they still fit.
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@fckkfrown Nothing alone is inherently wrong, this song included. It’s the fact that they’re all compounding simultaneously that make me worry.
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@paeganpoetry
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10 months
4. Eat during exam season. I eat 300 cals more than usual during finals week and upto 500 more during midterms (which are more chaotic at my uni). I know it’s scary, but you will prevent binges and your grades will thank you. Your future is more important than your ED.
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@paeganpoetry
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11 months
@urstarsana She’s fourteen, can we please not talk about her body on edtwt. Or at all, for that matter.
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@paeganpoetry
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10 months
2. Hydration is more important to your capacity for attention than you think. Coffee is cute and all hashtag studyspo but it dehydrates you and can lead to bad energy crashes. 2L of water a day will keep you healthy, happy and give you good poops.
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@calc1fix That’s understandable but it doesn’t make it immune to criticism.
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@paeganpoetry
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10 months
Finally- you do not need to buy anything, no stationery nor technology, no low cal foods, imported foods, you don’t need anything to achieve this goal except a mindset that aligns with it. Spend no money, make no waste is my life motto and I j wanted to put that out there.
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Can someone who’s experienced bmi 14.9-16.0 pls share any experience you’ve had with chest pain because uhhhhh I need… advice?
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@paeganpoetry
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10 months
5. GIVE YOURSELF TIME DONT STUDY LAST MINUTE AND EXEPCT SUCCESS. I study all year, and a month before finals I study 4-6 hours a day. During exam week though I only revise 2-3hrs MAX because it’s like tapering before a marathon and otherwise I’d burn out.
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@paeganpoetry
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10 months
For context- I’m a university student scoring at the top of my class despite being anorexic and having been a C-average student in school at best. I’m also bmi 15 which is… eh, but wtv.
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@paeganpoetry
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10 months
• Disclaimer: I’m specialising in clinical psychology, sources cited at the end. I’ve also been disordered for 10 years, so. This is not a diagnostic tool, and is being shared for educational purposes only. Some opinions shared that do not reflect on anyone but me.
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If bmi TEN is the new thinsp0 I think I’ll leave, I’ve worked too hard to fix my mental health this would absolutely break it again.
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@soleilcalsxo Stay safe x
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@paeganpoetry
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10 months
6. Exercise is EXCELLENT for attention capacity, but don’t be stupid about it. 30 minutes of moderate exercise or 60 minutes of light exercise is enough and overdoing it will cost you energy you need to be studying.
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i want more athletic/exercise addicted moots!! edtwt 18+ moot me up if you’re a whore for the “i can see every single muscle through my skin” skinny
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@paeganpoetry
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10 months
• Let’s get something very important clear.
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@poppsterr grew up with ‘03 so her, but ‘07 has some style. ‘09 is disappointing and somebody arrest ‘18
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@paeganpoetry
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10 months
• EDNOS is the outdated term for OSFED- other specified feeding and eating disorder. It’s a cluster diagnosis that covers a number of specific diagnoses that we’ll cover in a sec.
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Let me introduce y’all to the diathesis stress model. Diathesis = genetic vulnerability to an illness. When diathesis meets the necessary amount of triggering external stimulus, you get ill. Everyone’s diathesis is different which means the amount and nature of stress required/
@wastedwife
rosalina 🐦‍🔥
1 year
anyone who says edtwt made them develop an ed is either straight up lying or they’re refusing to look into the actual causes of their ed and just wanna blame edtwt
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@paeganpoetry
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10 months
3. Factor in your illness. I know a lot of people have everyday struggles with illnesses other than their eds. If you ignore them and work the way neurotypicals or able bodied people do you’re doing yourself an injustice. Figure out what your specific needs are & how to meet them
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@paeganpoetry
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10 months
• There are 5 main OSFED dxs- 1- atypical anorexia 2- BN of low frequency &/or duration 3. BED of low frequency &/or duration 4. Purging disorder 5. Night eating syndrome (Will elaborate on dx criteria for each if someone wants me to)
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@n0sferata bold of u to assume i’m trying to survive
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@paeganpoetry
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10 months
7. Then there’s the obvious- sleep. 8 hours, ideally at night time because sunlight is SUPER important to health. If you don’t get enough sun the damage your Ed is causing you will most definitely be exacerbated.
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@cillieats Yeah… of course rationally I know I’m ill but I genuinely don’t feel it.
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@De4dGrrrl eating with someone who also has an ed is extra embarrassing
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1. BEFORE YOU DRINK- get your carbs in. Idc if it’s an omad or 2 rice cakes, give your stomach some linings unless you want to be vomming up pure bile tomorrow. HYDRATION is obviously incredibly important all day before a big drink night.
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photos that make me yearn for simplicity, domesticity and chosen family;
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Alcohol calories don’t work the same as food calories.
@Anniexo01
Annie☆*:.。.☆.。.:*☆edtwt
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whats your food opinion that can end up having you like this?
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low cal + vegan food swaps available in india!! [🧵 for desi edtwt]
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2. If you’re scared of cals, dw i get you. Avoid the cocktails and the beers, a solid rum + Diet Coke, vodka or tequila have no sugar and… I will write more ab alc cals if you want but they rly don’t count,, they’re not going to make you gain.
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@AbsAbsAbs321 This post made me realise that my entire weight is made up of fat wdym you’re bmi NINETEEN POINT FOUR
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@thinspdiet Everyone down here describing my body type
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@paeganpoetry
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10 months
What’s truly FUCKED about this is that SHE DIDNT HAVE TO SHOW THIS !!! She could’ve had her stupid drinky drink in private and nobody would’ve known better but she CHOSE to share it, do you think that this is not an indication of your political standing?? Really??
@grenadegf
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“i do not support genocide i just wanted a little christmas drinky drink” ?????
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South Asian genetics will be my downfall. Never had a white girl flat stomach and I never will 😞
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@paeganpoetry
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11 months
Anorexia lost the battle today to pink blueberry cake and then later, a Belgian waffle. I’m not mad.
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@paeganpoetry
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10 months
OSFED applies to people in whom symptoms characteristic of an ED cause clinically significant distress but do not meet the full criteria for any of the disorders in the feeding and eating disorders diagnostic class.
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Ageing with anorexia; a list of things I’ve noticed since entering my 20’s- (tw: morose)
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@prncessvanity That’s totally fair, and im not trying to take the song too seriously, but it does become a little difficult when for the past year we’ve gotten complacent with reducing ourselves under the guise of “silly fun things” ):
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3d-ers only got two moods
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3. HAVE AN ELECTROLYTE DRINK BEFORE U GO TO SLEEP. Non disordered folk can get away with chugging water before they sleep but you’re likely already low on h2o + electrolytes so drinking a solution will help with the hangover.
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One thing about me is that I’ll never reject or feel guilty for food my dadi makes me. She’s 85 today and made me bread poha can I get a hell yeah.
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@badpounds Birthday cake is 0 cals duh, everybody knows that.
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Fit checkk because I got a friend to go out with instead of sitting home and being depressed all night 🥳
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@orangepekool yo that’s far too harsh of a way to talk about this, unacceptable
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@paeganpoetry
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10 months
In my research I have not come across anyone who says any of these illnesses would be treated differently from whatever Major ED they’re most closely related to. What I think confuses most of us on edtwt is the idea that OSFED = less severe anorexia.
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On today’s episode of random triggering shit from my developmental psych class
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@lesb0nes do you for sure need both legs
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RECIPE TIME 🦥 - 1 finely chopped onion - 2/3 cloves of garlic diced - ginger/garlic paste Throw those in a pan with oil till the onions turn translucent. Add spices- Turmeric, fennel, garam masala, s&p All according to your ancestors don’t ask me how much. (1)
I MADE THE YUMMEST VEGAN SOYA CURRY 👐🏽
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@paeganpoetry
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10 months
• A clinical OSFED dx would read something like “OSFED- purging disorder type” which means the individual DEFINITELY HAS A VERY REAL, VALID AND HARMFUL ED that IS it’s own criteria of illness, that is not AN, BN or BED.
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@paeganpoetry
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10 months
That is absolutely not the case. If someone restricts they’re immediately meeting a very important criteria for AN, however if there IS a gibblegobble of symptoms significant enough for it to not be AN, it could be UFED- unspecified feeding & eating disorder.
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@paeganpoetry
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10 months
Ok that’s all I don’t think I gave y’all any new information tbh. Good luck, kick ass, ur an academic beast I believe in you 🙏🧿
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I am once again so embarrassed about having an ed and not even being sk1nny
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Btw fit check from last night 😗✌️
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@paeganpoetry
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10 months
New diet don’t eat till you get laid
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@sweeethoneypie yeah i had a friend go off on me once because “it’s so annoying when skinny people double cross” idk what that was about
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@paeganpoetry
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10 months
@pixiematcha Just your standard orthorexia tbh
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@paeganpoetry
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10 months
Additionally, aside from AN, BN, BED, OSFED & UFED, diagnostic titles include Pica, ARFID, Orthorexia and Rumination Disorder. Aside from OSFED and UFED they all have specific dx criteria you can look up.
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@paeganpoetry
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10 months
Absolutely accidental bc’s? I had. I idea my back just casually looks like that??
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@paeganpoetry
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10 months
Saw some candid pictures of me next to my friends and uh. Yeah the anorexia shows lmfao 😳
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10 months
GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I GOT THE HIGHEST SCORE IN ABNORMAL PSYCH NOT ONLY IN MY CLASS BUT IN THE ENTIRE UNI???!?!1!1?1!1 happy dance happy dance 😭🤸‍♂️
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Treats for me tonight 👐🏽 don’t even talk to me about calories I don’t wanna know. Tomorrow starts my speed run to bmi 14.8.
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ANOTHER THING- rate of drunkenness is highly dependent on 1. Bmi, 2. How heavy you’ve been restricting and 3, how much sugar is present in your stomach. Keep in mind you might get drunk faster than you want to/than your peers. Consume carbs to slow it down a little bit. BE SAFE!
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Pov you’re an anorexic at the gynaecologist
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End of v short thread- I’ve been drinking for 4-ish years, grown up around + dated alcoholics and had a restrictive ED for around a decade. I’ve had horrendous hangovers,alcohol overdoses, electrolyte imbalances, etc etc etc. Trust me.This will make your life easier. Cheers &gn🍻
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@paeganpoetry
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10 months
This also has to be said: a lot of people on edtwt say they have EDNOS when in reality they display characteristics of BN. Look, self dx however you feel is right but if you think you have EDNOS & you purge, please look at the BN dx criteria so at least-
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@paeganpoetry
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10 months
• Finally, just remember that dxs are just words. Most clinicians agree that EDs are among the easiest to self dx so don’t feel invalidated if you don’t have a clinical dx.
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The removing the calorie label trend could be cute but to me it really reads as if you don’t think I’m mature enough to know what I can and can’t handle or that you’re taking away my autonomy, making a decision for me when I didn’t ask you to.
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I WAS TRYING TO SAVE THIS PHOTO AND I ACCUDENTALLY AIRDROPPED IT TO MY MUMS LAPTOP
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Omad that looks and smells divine, even though I’m feeling violently fat because I have an exam tomorrow and we do not sabotage our success by starving before a big day, now do we?
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We gotta start talking about how the online ED recovery spaces are just the glorified version of their demonised ill counterparts.
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Look I’m as hurt and annoyed about the reality as any of y’all but let’s not pretend this isn’t absolutely factual and worth spreading. You say you’re pro recovery but then go and slander this person? Get real.
@ryabolic
ry ౨ৎ
1 year
Waking up on Halloween day at your ugw: - you’ll be miserable trick or treating because ur body is shutting down - you probably won’t have friends to go out with because you’ve isolated yourself - you won’t be able to eat any candy or have any fun because of gut wrenching guilt
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@lowcal_liz 1. this is hella motivating 2. you look BEYOND snatched 3. you’re so cute haha ok bye 🏳️‍🌈
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@paeganpoetry
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10 months
That’s what I’m taking about.
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I wish I was a🧘‍♀️🕉️🌱 faster instead of the 🥃🚬🔪 faster uerrggghhnnhh
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🧵 Eating disorders vs disordered eating: a guide-
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@paeganpoetry
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11 months
As I mentioned earlier this week, I was diagnosed with tachycardia (high heart rate) + a random unexplained recurrent fever. The day after that I sought a second opinion and got a further dx- I have had chest pains for months but this week (2/9)
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@paeganpoetry
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10 months
I gotta say it, a boycott should be widespread and unifying but currently as I see it, it is performative and divisive and if you’re using a boycott to make people feel guilty for things they had little to no choice in? Read a book, please.
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@Summer617332053 You are not in the 16’s I assure you with my entire soul somebody is lying to you.
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This is such a complex topic and op is not completely incorrect, nor is anyone who disagrees. Causes are not singular, and edtwt does exacerbate existing problems, and idk maybe for some it is the final straw but there is no one correct opinion here.
@brokennlungss
✧.* anna ✧.*
5 months
opinion: edtwt will never cause someone to have an ed. if you’re not mentally ill in some way these posts would not effect you. saying the internet causes eating disorders is silly.
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@paeganpoetry
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10 months
• The unspecified feeding and eating disorder category is used in situations in which the clinician chooses not to specify the reason that the criteria are not met for a specific ED, & includes those in which there is insufficient information to make a more specific diagnosis.
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