Loretta
@oshuwah
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Music, books, food, and tv.
Lagos, Nigeria
Joined August 2021
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Pinned Tweet
I wrote about the things I learned about myself recently. Link in the reply
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Ah yes perfect excuse to post these here
I want to see your owanbe face cards 🥹🥹
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Is this not regular love or are you people at war in your relationships 🥲
I can’t even lie. I love soft love. The type where both partners are equally crazy about each other, constantly looking out for each other and always thinking of ways to make each other happy.
There’s nothing as cozy as two wholesome people mumu-ing for each other honestly.
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I remember the first time someone asked me why I always said “toh” and what it means. It was like someone was asking me to explain huh to them
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I'm looking for a copywriter/editor for my newsletter. Send me a dm if you're interested.
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“Things started to fall apart at home when my brother, Jaja, did not go to communion and Papa flung his heavy missal across the room and broke the figurines on the etagere.”
The interesting thing about the abuse in Purple Hibiscus is that it is hidden in plain sight. You read it the first time and you don’t see it. You just enjoy the book and Kambili’s crush on Father Amadi.
And then you read it again when you’re much older and you’re shocked.
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Drop something blue from your gallery.
Cape Coast, Ghana
something blue from ze gallery
Blue helmet, blue skies
School Lane, Nairobi
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Weekend booty call hopefuls that text really late on Friday night actually kill me. Like your mates have been putting in work since Wed/Thur, do better kmt
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Download the app and place an order! Also watch the launch video for my acting debut 🥹🥹🥹
After a year in beta, we’re beyond excited to announce the launch of GoLemon — the only store you’ll ever need for all your groceries and home essentials 💚
Say goodbye to market runs, and hello to a stress-free shopping experience. 👋🏾
#GoLemonGo
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Landed a job at a company I’ve always wanted to work for
EVERYONE INCLUDED :: Please brag to me about a thing you did in 2022 that you’re proud of.
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I think as a country we have to come together and agree to stop caring about people’s accents, whether it’s spri-spri or it’s h-factor or r-factor. Let’s just move on
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I just wrote the sixth one! Read, share & subscribe if you haven't already.
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As long as the logistics (security , gate access/ticketing) is managed properly, I think this location works
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I get so excited when I hear her say it. We need to find her
I want that lady who says “ololade mi Asake” to tell me that everything is going to be okay 🥺🥺
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Had so much fun putting this together
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I just got my first Go Lemon order and I’m still in awe. Everything looks soo well put together and fresh! I’m never going to the market.
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Not a big fan of the fact that my parents had so many kids but splitting black tax with 6 other people is a game changer.
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Lots of people confuse empathy with lack of boundaries/people-pleasing but they’re not the same
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If newsletter issues were babies, this would be my favourite child. Read the eighth one -
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I’ve had this song on repeat for a week now and now hearing it slowed down reminds me Diddy’s I’ll Be Missing You
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I fully understand side eyeing this but let’s not forget that they’re the ones in the actual situation and if they say everything is fine, we might want to consider taking their word for it
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Going to chop my L and move on. Mostly because the service was offered as a gift not in exchange for an invite lol
So your friend is getting married and you offer them a service for free as your contribution towards the never get an invite and they later tell you sorry they decided to invite only close friends and family.
Do you send them an invoice?
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Big breast
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Works in oil & gas/works in banking were also pretty big in their time. In fact, tech only recently replaced the oil & gas one and yes, babes were clowned then for not knowing “where exactly” in oil & gas
As far as I know people didn’t use to have industry type in their criteria. It was more like roles, I want a dr, Engineer bla bla, even that I think wasn’t so common.
Now it’s ‘works in tech’
-Okay sis, I feel you but which role?
-He should sha work in tech.
You’re not serious
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How are these interview questions???
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What’s worse than this is not clocking it fast enough. Potential career killer
Reporting to someone who doesn't really fancy you or value your inputs, is one of the top 100 ways to die. lol
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The Hermit is easily my favorite. It didn’t have a lot of elements so it was easy to draw. I also used this to try out a gradient style background and play with shades
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Please don't be the douchebags sending emails at work when it’s not an emergency and it’s the holidays. Some of us like to maintain work-life balance and we slow down at this time of the year, and your lack of cooperation is affecting us.
Please don't be the douchebags not responding to emails at work when you are not on holiday just because it is Christmas. Some of us like maintaining our KPIs even at this time of the year, and your lack of cooperation is affecting us.
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So we’re eating eba with milk and groundnut now? This govt has taken too much
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Marcia thought she was doing something 😂😂
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And a lot of people confuse their traumatized inner child reactions with empathy. Also not the same
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Is this Bojack’s burner
The term ‘monkeying around’ makes sense to me, monkeys are silly animals. ‘Horsing around’ pisses me off though, it’s very, very disrespectful… Pretty much every horse I’ve met has a job.
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House hunting in Lagos is stealing my joy and draining my life force. All of you that have houses in this Lagos, are you telling me this is what you went through??
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Digital culture and entertainment insights daily: Bad Waitress Service Industry Memoir
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Lagos people will legit die before they greet you and it always gets me soo hot because I grew up in the north where it’s just normal to greet no matter what ughh
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This is funny because if it’s race to the power, how do you explain the math that you’re doing 🫠🫠
Wait
So it’s “raise to power” not “race to power”💀 Nigeria you will crumble
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One of my small lucks in life is that I’ve always worked with people I genuinely like. The colleague to bestie pipeline is really >>
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Nothing anyone says on this app will ever stop me from typing epistles to anyone I like lmao. You will get that 800-word essay, idgaf
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Just want to announce that I’ve finally gotten to the “enjoying” and “looking forward to” phases of my exercise journey. We bless God
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I miss listening to south south people speak pidgin. I remember hearing it for the first time in university and it’ll just crack me up. There’s something about the tone that can make even the most mundane thing funny af
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Why does Sheraton need the blood of my firstborn because I’m visiting someone????
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You can, but you also have to be okay with rejection
The part I don't like about being a lady is that you have to choose from the guys that are interested in you ( correct me if I'm wrong) like you can't just walk up to a guy that you like and have him!!!
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What a loser
The best side chics to have are working class babes who live alone.
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The kind of elder I want to be 🥹
This year I was commissioned to photograph a few black farmers who also owned the land across the Mississippi Delta. This is Mrs. Ernestine Young of Clarksdale, Mississippi. I had the pleasure of photographing her on her farm and she gave me some of the best pepper jelly I ever.
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Just hit me that one of the downsides of being vulnerable about work sometimes is that there’s a risk of people doubting your competency
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Arc renames your downloaded files like a human being would (sentence case, spaces instead of underscores, etc). Sweet
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Second malaria diagnosis in one month. Nigerian mosquitoes can’t get enough of me. Fresh blood l’omo
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@THISISBFG
Still my favorite thing about game of thrones till date. Most of the people who fuck around find out somehow, just like real life 😭😭
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They were always unmatched as a pair. Soo good together
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Not being influenced by looks is a virtue, but refusing to care about how you look is its own sin.
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Happy to confirm to anyone who was in doubt - crying in a “Mercedes” is wayyy better than crying on a “bicycle”
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I hope we can all see the real reasons why there aren’t more women in tech/engineering.
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The tweet this is responding too makes it like 100x funnier
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The life that Iganya has been living for the past week is what I’m manifesting for myself. That girl is eating geewdddd
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If you like don’t prioritize work-life balance in your twenties. You’ll need it more when you’re older, with less energy. By then it’ll be much harder to learn and you’ll burn out quickly and be too tired most of the time to do the extra things you need to level up at that stages
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Is this a message 🥹🥹🥹
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I think this is a coping mechanism, and when you live in nig, you have to decide to pick your battles so you can carry on.
One of the things I notice when I'm in Nigeria: the low expectations. In my own house, so many little things are broken here and there. No one seems bothered by it, until I come back and it grates my every nerve.
Things like shower heads, mirrors, shaky chairs.
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The best tv shows are the ones that help you micro-dose that movie experience with every episode.
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Me: Oh this 65k fixture is not in my budget
Instagram vendor: *sends photo* we have this other type.
Me: how much?
Vendor: 85k
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This literally made my morning. so cute
Allow me to introduce you to the most ridiculous yet amazing thing you will see this week.
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It’s also how they can be roasting your life and you’ll be cheesing hard because it’s insult but it’s still sweet?
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I just clocked that my flatmate is secretly GI Jane. She likes to disguise as a soft babe but the muscle is clear 😂😂
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