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Pinned Tweet
An Asake song can control your life for 3 straight days.
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High school was crazy, VD would be on a Saturday and you find someone eating their last 2 KFC pieces at break time on Tuesday.
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Man this internet can put you into a 10 year Aura deficit when you’re just at home chilling.
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Campus is funny, you’ll go out on a week day and the other person stays in to watch series but you’re the unserious one😂😂
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But KFC should allow us to choose the pieces of chicken we want.
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The problem with Arsenal is the fans are more serious than the players 😂
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High school was wild, we would play football for 4 straight hours.
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At least campus doesn’t have universal exams, high school teachers would scare you😂.
“You’re here sleeping do you know what time children in Seeta wake up??”
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Trap fans always looking for the rarest track on an album and claim it’s their favorite.
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Ugandans ask for an evening plan at 10am. Like have you even attempted to work?
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You're here tweeting about cuddles instead of closing your windows
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Budo rugby players would have this for breakfast before a game just to come back praising Ngo players 😂
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We should dedicate one day to discuss job opportunities on this app.
good dick is one thing 🥴🤤
but dam boy you’re a Licktrician too 🤯😳😩
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Thank you doctor. Even the ones from Capital Shoppers?
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You’re in a long distance relationship with someone celebrating lifting of curfew?? Kale.
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How are those kids going to tell their parents to pick them from jail?
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Azawi dropping a harder album than Drake is something I didn’t see coming.
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I feel like some watched series way too early. Mbu you understood Suits in form 2?
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Nigga wasn’t acting. He was operating on actual hatred.
After his divorce, Giancarlo Esposito declared bankruptcy and considered arranging his own death to provide insurance money for his children. Shortly after, he was cast as Gus Fring on 'Breaking Bad,' a role that transformed his life.
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That person you’re adding to your private story has one too. But you don’t know because...
Anyway happy holidays
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You got tired from just watching. And you think mansions are meant for you?
😂
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If we’re being honest “Lonely at the Top” was top 3 afrobeats songs this year.
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Guys reach hostel and think you just knock on girls’ rooms and get sex 😂
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But did guys hear the commentator say “Rob Holding is the first player to score an own goal in this fixture since his manager in 2014”😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂
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My son may not reach P2.
BREAKING: PSG have accepted Al Hilal's £259m offer for Kylian Mbappe 🇸🇦✅
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Guys are now feeling like Mikaelsons😂
I told you my young brother, that you can NEVER intimidate us. We are much stronger than you can ever imagine to be. If you want to fight we will simply defeat you. We want peace! But if you attempt to fight us then Bring it on!
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Then he asks you for babes.
The guy who used to be beat me to a pulp in school at the Budo league on Sundays:
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Now that I’m starting to remember things.
I might have given this jaj guy my wallet and told him to pick what makes his lineage happy.
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Uganda is a really small country but why don’t my friends ever win Chamuka keys
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Mbu you’ve chap
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Morocco has won more spots for African countries?? The world won’t believe the haram that will hit it in 2026.
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Man such leagues they’ll know you’re tying just by your slang.
Hi beautiful people 🤩
Get prepared for the
#ISALeague
kicking off at
#LegendsGrounds
this June.
Don’t forget to turn on notifications for all the latest updates 🤗
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Kale Banza’s parents sent him to Germany, he saw Bayern and was like ah ah Liverpool enkolera
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Lewandowski actually scored 5 goals in 9 minutes. It still stresses me.
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I’m convinced the whole MUBS is averaging first class degrees, these guys can discuss.
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You were excited when they told you that girl was in your hostel, now look at you watching Sheffield vs. Westbrom
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Torrero looked directly into my eyes and told me “captain Bamford”😂
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Whenever someone says “I’ve released alcohol” just know they’re getting worse.
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The Budo league is the super bowl of Uganda. And you know you can’t refuse.
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Lecturer: The papers are open book.
Me whose books are in Nairobi:
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Arsenal is never going to meet this PSG team in a competitive game. Lucky bastards!
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Vault numbers fell so bad you can have a date there at 10pm on a Friday night.
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Prefects always felt so powerful after they hit wtih the “Do you know who you’re talking to?”😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂
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Today you can shoot your shot and tell them “April fools” when they’re becoming difficult.
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Sometimes I just want a loan.
I text you heavily everyday from morning till late, and you think I want to be just your friend
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Mbu the party was called Last Drip😂I’m dyingggg
How are those kids going to tell their parents to pick them from jail?
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Me on my way to do an economics paper after only reading price Theory and two extra graphs.
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*attends ShoNaLe*
*Wakes up early for Cancer run*
*preparing clothes for Blankets and wine*
I don’t know what you’re chasing my friend but you’ll find it in the hospital on Monday morning 😂
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You look at some homes and just know they don’t kill mosquitoes against the walls.
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I miss waking up with so much hate for myself after the decisions I made the previous night.
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My bestfriend and I hugging for an hour and everyone thinking we’re dating>>>>
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Martial puts on black gloves and feels like Henry. Aight Henry Danger.
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In uni I was just going out I don’t even know how it stresses y’all.
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No way I’ve reached the age of being hit with the “I was in form one when you were in form six” in the bar.
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Being a known rugby player was nice until it was time for an away game.
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Reddington is getting you out through the main gate in broad daylight.
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Autocorrect, I don’t think I’ll ever use the word “ducking” in my life. Just stop it man.
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You can’t complete an assignment but the way you’re accepting challenges right now.
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Single people are the most active. Talk about Strength in numbers.
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Ugandans were looking for a reason to drink, Cheptegei gave them a reason to kill themselves.
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Friends that used to give out their Biscuits because they were aerated>>>>>
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Anti mwagala nyo house tour, abaana bajja balaga amayumba mutye.
😂
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These people in my class tend to assume people’s marks according to how much they go out and that’s where they go wrong.
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With such tweets they’ll chase me from around Forest mall.
High school was crazy, VD would be on a Saturday and you find someone eating their last 2 KFC pieces at break time on Tuesday.
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David Luiz plays like those rugby players who played defense for their houses/classes when they had no other option in high school.
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Now you have a stomachache and can’t have sex just because you ate things you don’t know.
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Drinking with drunkards is actually expensive. Now why are you still sober after 3 bottles?
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I’ve been chased.
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Just remembered this teacher that gave me his phone and told me to call my mum and tell her I don’t want to study. What was that?😂
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