⚡️ Profile Banner
⚡️ Profile
⚡️

@olivem1nt

Followers
977
Following
637
Media
647
Statuses
11,412

Irritable millennial. Former cancer caregiver. Bereaved daughter. Talking about my #grief , trying to find a way forward. she/her.

menty-b central
Joined August 2020
Don't wanna be here? Send us removal request.
Explore trending content on Musk Viewer
Pinned Tweet
@olivem1nt
⚡️
1 year
Robin Lynn Plater 9/3/53 - 5/1/23 My best friend. My hero. No one was tougher than you. Thank you for everything. Rest well, Meema💙💙💙
Tweet media one
234
65
2K
@olivem1nt
⚡️
9 months
I’d give anything for another night like this. I miss her so much; the grief is so intense today, for whatever reason. every good thing and bad thing and everything in between feels unreal without her. life feels unreal
Tweet media one
340
100
2K
@olivem1nt
⚡️
1 year
my mom passed away. not long after I left the room. Id had to leave the hospice to pick up my car from the shop, and I thought I could get back in time to be with her. when I got back to the hospice, the staff were getting ready to call me.
442
28
1K
@olivem1nt
⚡️
1 year
one thing I’ll never know is whether my mom would want me to be with her when she passes away. I think she would want my support but not want me to watch her take her last breath. either way I’m back by her side now and I don’t see myself leaving the hospice again to go home
204
45
1K
@olivem1nt
⚡️
1 year
a nurse just did mom’s vitals & the vitals indicate that we’re getting close to the end. I knew that and took the news pretty stoically. I guess I’ve just accepted that this has to happen even though I’m still halfway not comprehending how fast it’s happening
187
42
986
@olivem1nt
⚡️
1 year
she should be here . with me and the cats. we should all be laying in bed together watching trash tv or something 🥺💔 I’m so sad today
Tweet media one
118
25
924
@olivem1nt
⚡️
1 year
I got a call from mom’s oncologist and he now thinks that mom is too sick for chemo and that hospice is the most compassionate choice 💔
175
11
820
@olivem1nt
⚡️
1 year
thank you all for your condolences— I appreciate every single comment 💝 it’s a huge comfort to me to know that you all care about me. I think it’s possible my mom waited until I left to pass away; I think it was her last gesture to protect me. so I guess I can be ok with it ❤️
75
14
668
@olivem1nt
⚡️
1 year
for my 30th🥺🥺🥺 she never got tired of doing things like this for me
Tweet media one
44
13
627
@olivem1nt
⚡️
10 months
today marks 6 months without you 💔 woke up to snow on the ground — a harsh reminder that winter is coming, you won’t be here for the holidays, and I’ll soon start a new year without you
Tweet media one
122
23
617
@olivem1nt
⚡️
1 year
I thanked her for fighting so hard for me, that I loved her, that I’d be okay, that she would be okay, that it was okay to rest, okay to go… her breathing is shallow and her eyes are slightly open. I know this is normal but it seems so sad to me
71
7
613
@olivem1nt
⚡️
1 year
right before I left the hospice tonight, I was staring at the flowers in her room (lovingly picked out by my stepdad) and I started crying bc I realized I’ll never be able to buy her anything cute or nice or pretty ever again 😢 no more cute little surprises
45
10
539
@olivem1nt
⚡️
1 year
I’m with mom. her breathing is back to the way it was when I thought she was going to pass soon. she’s comfortable still so there’s nothing left to do but wait. i pulled up the recliner chair and have been holding her hand from time to time
38
9
432
@olivem1nt
⚡️
1 year
the job interview went well and they want a second one wednesday, which is also my birthday. I should be thrilled but I’m just stressed and nervous and missing my mom a lot
96
18
436
@olivem1nt
⚡️
1 year
I’m home alone and falling apart now 😢💔. thank you all SO MUCH for all of your words of comfort and support. today was a hard day but you made it easier 💗
51
9
367
@olivem1nt
⚡️
9 months
is anyone else just baffled by how there’s just nothing left to do for your loved one that’s gone? I can’t deal with it. all I can do is keep her memory alive and it doesn’t feel like enough
105
11
356
@olivem1nt
⚡️
10 months
really missing my mom so much. it’s so intense 💔💔💔 it’ll be 6 months on Wednesday . I just don’t get how I’m supposed to do this for the rest of my life
101
8
331
@olivem1nt
⚡️
1 year
spent the night with my mom. talked to her a little bit last night and she moaned and started to move around. it could’ve been that she needed more meds or it could’ve been that she knew I was there, J don’t know. this morning I’m hearing the terminal secretions very clearly 😕
51
7
333
@olivem1nt
⚡️
1 year
I’m glad I pained her nails on our last “good day” . I think she enjoyed it
Tweet media one
@olivem1nt
⚡️
1 year
managed to paint mom’s nails 💅🏾 and we are together ❤️we are having a decent day aside from fighting sleep 😴
2
1
32
12
11
316
@olivem1nt
⚡️
1 year
I’ve told my mom some things over the days. thanked her for fighting so hard for me , that I’m lucky we got to live together, that she broke the cycle & was a great mom to me despite her mom being so cruel to her. things like that ❤️
17
8
316
@olivem1nt
⚡️
1 year
I don’t know if I’m strong enough to get through this
111
4
285
@olivem1nt
⚡️
1 year
my mom’s primary care physician came to visit her anyway, even after I told her what condition she was in & that she was unconscious and sedated. she brought me dinner and talked with me for over an hour 🥺💗 she was the doctor we saw the least as we were
9
5
283
@olivem1nt
⚡️
4 months
One year. I never wanted this day to come. I don’t know exactly why — it’s just like every other day without my mom in my life. There is something about an entire year having gone by, though. As much as I’ve told myself that a year doesn’t really mean anything, it does.
Tweet media one
Tweet media two
Tweet media three
Tweet media four
71
11
278
@olivem1nt
⚡️
1 year
july 4th 2019. she’d kill me for posting this 😂 but this is who she was ! 🎸 🤘🏾
54
8
268
@olivem1nt
⚡️
8 months
@shitscaredmum this is my mom, Robin, who passed away this May, 6 years after her cancer diagnosis. she was warm, kind, and loving and was my best friend 💗 she loved babies, animals, cooking, gardening, music, and day trips. I miss her every moment of every day ❤️
Tweet media one
13
3
270
@olivem1nt
⚡️
8 months
sometimes I think, what if my mom really did send me this cat?
Tweet media one
40
9
268
@olivem1nt
⚡️
1 year
the wait is excruciating. mom’s breathing patterns change all the time. I think I know when to expect it & then it doesn’t happen. at least she’s comfortable— that’s all I can say. I miss our pets, though. and getting sleep. in my own bed 😴
29
5
261
@olivem1nt
⚡️
1 year
cats on mom’s stripped bed. they’re cute but also it’s very sad. this was also the kind of thing I’d send her when she was in the hospital
Tweet media one
15
5
262
@olivem1nt
⚡️
1 year
mom getting ready to transition as everything is blooming and as mother’s day is right around the corner feels so cruel. I’m sure that spring will always remind me of this time
38
3
250
@olivem1nt
⚡️
1 year
it might be a testament to how well I knew my mom that I pretty much knew she’d wait until I wasn’t in the room to pass. as I’ve learned from all of you here and from others, it’s really common. makes me think she heard or sensed me the whole time. that’s comforting ❤️
10
2
235
@olivem1nt
⚡️
5 months
I wish I had words, but there are none. I will miss @CancerCanuck tremendously. He was such a great person, and he always met me with such understanding when I was navigating caring for my mom, and later, grieving for her. As he’d say about others, he won his fight.
16
4
240
@olivem1nt
⚡️
3 months
managed to lose nearly 20 pounds by cutting alcohol, eating healthier & going on long walks in the evening. I’m proud of myself maybe 2 times a year but I gotta say, I am actually really proud of achieving this at a time where I could’ve gone in the opposite direction
32
4
234
@olivem1nt
⚡️
1 year
I just got home from another visit with mom. I couldn’t stay away, especially after going through a bunch of old pictures today and sobbing over them. I read her that little book again. she is still resting comfortably.
17
4
220
@olivem1nt
⚡️
1 year
I’m still in shock, I guess. as much as I knew it was coming, it came at us so fast
25
5
218
@olivem1nt
⚡️
1 year
he missed me
Tweet media one
11
1
215
@olivem1nt
⚡️
1 year
dad has been discharged from the hospital 🙌🏾
12
1
212
@olivem1nt
⚡️
1 year
although I didn’t see my mom in her last minutes, I arrived back to her room right after she died. I ended up spending so much time in her room afterward; first, alone, and then with my stepdad. I was numb and detached but my stepdad was the most devastated I’ve seen him
12
4
210
@olivem1nt
⚡️
1 year
lost another to cancer in my family today. although quite an extended family member, I cared a lot about her and followed her 8 year journey. she inspired 100s if thousands & everyone that knew her is rightly devastated 💔
63
9
205
@olivem1nt
⚡️
8 months
woke up feeling like I just can’t do it anymore. just can’t be resilient anymore. this depression shit is hitting so hard this entire month
77
6
200
@olivem1nt
⚡️
1 year
two months into this awful bereavement, I am more haunted by all of the suffering that my mom went through than comforted about the fact that she’s no longer in pain .
45
4
205
@olivem1nt
⚡️
3 months
all I want is one more little moment with my mom, like eating ice cream together or getting groceries together or sharing an inside joke. or just a hug. I’m gonna be heartbroken forever
44
12
208
@olivem1nt
⚡️
1 year
my dad is with me now. my stepdad is on his way too, with food for us
12
1
204
@olivem1nt
⚡️
1 year
so my sister, who lives in Florida but was in town, was able to visit my mom before I got back to the hospice but then stopped answering my texts when I was trying to get in touch bc she didn’t want me to know our dad is in the hospital right across the street from the hospice
34
1
197
@olivem1nt
⚡️
1 year
I love this so much . it���s a glass portrait that is especially beautiful when the sun shines through it. so fitting for my mom 💗
Tweet media one
Tweet media two
22
3
190
@olivem1nt
⚡️
1 year
after I read this book to mom last night, I left it resting on her tummy. her nurse walked in not long ago and told me she had also read a little bit of it to my mom !! 🥹🥹🥹 how kind ❤️
Tweet media one
7
3
191
@olivem1nt
⚡️
1 year
I was worried about never having recorded my mom’s laugh and then desperately trying to remember it and then I found this video 😆
19
6
193
@olivem1nt
⚡️
1 year
I have a job interview on monday morning. I’m nervous. and, of course, I wish I could tell my mom about it
48
5
192
@olivem1nt
⚡️
1 year
tbh I am not very good at sitting and talking to mom. I’m more of the silent, sit next to her type . I do talk to her but just not as much as people suggest . I hope this isn’t a mistake somehow. with a brain like mine everything feels like the wrong choice even when it isn’t
83
2
190
@olivem1nt
⚡️
1 year
you all are amazing ❤️ thank you for telling me that my mom would be proud of me 🥹
18
3
186
@olivem1nt
⚡️
1 year
I went to my caregiver support group tonight to tell them the news but also get support. the other group members said they could tell by my body language that something had happened. but they also said that I was loyal, caring, and even admirable 🥺❤️
11
2
182
@olivem1nt
⚡️
1 year
I know my family dynamics must be super confusing 😂 I am my mom’s only child. I’m my dad’s 4th and youngest child. my stepdad is my mom’s husband, although they’ve been separated 10 years. mom and I lived together & I was and still am her primary caregiver
13
3
186
@olivem1nt
⚡️
1 year
I’ve been putting jazz music on in her room and melting scented wax cubes for aromatherapy and I think she would’ve enjoyed both of those things ❤️
12
3
180
@olivem1nt
⚡️
1 year
lots of tears today 😢😢😢
29
3
181
@olivem1nt
⚡️
1 year
another pic of us ❤️
Tweet media one
16
2
178
@olivem1nt
⚡️
1 year
I cant keep up with all of the responses I’m getting from you all but please know that I read appreciate every single response and all of your support ❤️
6
0
177
@olivem1nt
⚡️
1 year
I don’t think I’d told my mom recently how sorry I was for all that happened to her 😔
53
2
178
@olivem1nt
⚡️
1 year
services went well. but my social battery is done 🪫☹️ everyone wants to laugh and eat and talk and I just want to lay in silence
28
3
175
@olivem1nt
⚡️
1 year
she was so cute, to me. just precious. I doted on her the same way she did on me. she often teased that I had become her mother & that the roles had reversed, because of how I’d hold her hand while walking with her or freak out when I couldn’t get in touch with her etc etc
Tweet media one
20
5
174
@olivem1nt
⚡️
1 year
on a more uplifting note, I took this picture last night when the sky was beautiful. my mom loved looking at and taking pictures of the sky and it made me think of her. in the past, I would’ve sent it to her 🤍
Tweet media one
27
4
170
@olivem1nt
⚡️
1 year
basically, I thought I’d immediately experience that intense, soul crushing, body rocking grief and it’s been a lot quieter and sporadic and … not intense. not yet. but it bothers me, and I’m more likely to cry about feeling guilty than anything else. I really hate my brain
55
4
174
@olivem1nt
⚡️
1 year
I’ll probably make a break for it in a few hours to go check on our pets and maybe even take a real nap. and I already know I’ll feel bad if something happens while I’m away, but if it does, maybe it was meant to be
29
2
170
@olivem1nt
⚡️
1 year
always going to specialists, but she went out of her way to do this after a full workday and cooking dinner for her family 😭
3
2
171
@olivem1nt
⚡️
1 year
goofing off in the infusion room, spring 2020. we both look horrible in this picture but I like it because it captures what our relationship was like ❤️
Tweet media one
17
3
167
@olivem1nt
⚡️
1 year
I really love this one. it’s like she’s reaching out to hug someone. this photo will also be featured in the funeral program. (I’ve seen a preview and it looks so nice 🥹)
Tweet media one
22
3
166
@olivem1nt
⚡️
1 year
I got a call from my mom’s primary care physician — she wanted to know how both of us were doing and if she could visit my mom at the hospice 🥺 this doctor also agrees hospice was the best choice. so I guess that’s a sign to quit beating myself up
17
5
163
@olivem1nt
⚡️
6 months
I hope she knows I think about her all the time ❤️
Tweet media one
23
2
165
@olivem1nt
⚡️
1 year
1 month without you here on this earth. it feels shorter and also longer
Tweet media one
28
6
161
@olivem1nt
⚡️
1 year
this first Mother’s Day without my mom being only 13 days after her death and 2 days after her funeral means that this holiday is really just wrapped into the newness and rawness of it all. next year will be harder
36
2
161
@olivem1nt
⚡️
3 months
13 months without her. what I would give to wake up and come out of my room to a scene like this again 🥺🧡
Tweet media one
19
3
160
@olivem1nt
⚡️
1 year
endless thanks to all of you 💗I’d be so much more of a mess if not for the community here ❤️‍🩹❤️‍🩹❤️‍🩹
8
4
157
@olivem1nt
⚡️
1 year
guilt sucks, but as someone on here said, it can & will rewrite the reality of what actually happened. I was trying to make it so that I’d be with my mom for the entire time, knowing full well that she was likely the type they wouldn’t have wanted me to witness her last breath
19
1
159
@olivem1nt
⚡️
1 year
now I’m crying because I never brought her any of the cats so that she could see them😢 I thought she’d have a chance to go home 😔😔😔 and car rides seem to scare them
18
1
158
@olivem1nt
⚡️
1 year
the obituary, slideshow photos, program photos, song selections, and order of service are all due by tomorrow . Id be taking it slow but it’s actually crunch time 😩
30
1
152
@olivem1nt
⚡️
10 months
someone from my grief group got me a card and a giftcard all because I waited with her until her Uber arrived a couple weeks ago 🥺😭I was actually thinking of my mom while doing that — she’d have been the type to wait with that lady, or offer her a ride home
17
10
157
@olivem1nt
⚡️
1 year
she was so cute 💗 (I took this pic because I thought her outfit was ridiculous — she was going outside to feed the cats & it was raining)
Tweet media one
20
1
155
@olivem1nt
⚡️
4 months
getting through one year of grief doesn’t automatically mean all the “firsts” are over
21
7
155
@olivem1nt
⚡️
3 months
today’s my last bereavement counseling session. I’m so lucky that hospice provided a whole 13 MONTHS of counseling free of charge, but sad to be losing a counselor. another goodbye I guess but I can handle it 😮‍💨
10
3
153
@olivem1nt
⚡️
1 year
saw a gif of a cartoon mommy rabbit hugging her babies and now I’m crying. of all things. I also saw 3 cute little goose families earlier and all of them had goslings and I thought of my mom immediately. I’m starting to realize anything can be a trigger
19
3
148
@olivem1nt
⚡️
2 years
I still can’t believe that my telling my mom that she didn’t have to keep doing treatment if she didn’t want to made her feel like I thought she should give up / I was giving up on her. I guess if I think hard enough, I do understand. I’ll never say it again that’s for sure
36
5
145
@olivem1nt
⚡️
1 year
my body may be feeling more than my mind is right now because I am so fatigued it’s almost unreal
36
2
145
@olivem1nt
⚡️
1 year
I’m really astounded at how many people have read through my story here on Twitter 💜it means a lot
11
2
145
@olivem1nt
⚡️
1 year
1 more thing. tonight I went to dinner with a friend & not long after we sat down at our table, Purple Haze by Jimi Hendrix started playing. it was one of my mlm’s favorite songs as teenager — she even asked her dad to paint her room “purple haze” after that song came out💜
21
2
139
@olivem1nt
⚡️
1 year
dropped off leftover medical supplies at the hospice my mom was at. I’m so glad they took them and can use them ❤️ my mom would’ve liked that. she would’ve done the same. and I also got a pep talk and a hug from the receptionist there 🥹
9
4
140
@olivem1nt
⚡️
1 year
I think the second interview went well too 🙌🏾 so fingers crossed I get a good result. now I can stop worrying and enjoy my birthday lol
32
5
140
@olivem1nt
⚡️
1 year
every time I can’t cry and then I suddenly can, I’m relieved that I’m not somehow unfeeling and cold. it doesn’t matter that rationally I know that my brain is protecting me and in shock. irrationally I feel as though I should be a complete mess 24/7 because this is my mom ffs
18
0
136
@olivem1nt
⚡️
1 year
I promise to get back to all of you. thank you all for your support. I’ve been either sleeping on the pull out bed in mom’s room or lying awake listening to her snore
13
0
138
@olivem1nt
⚡️
1 year
she kept all the “mom” cards I gave her tucked in her mirror❤️ and a few bonus pics of little me 🥹❤️‍🩹
Tweet media one
Tweet media two
Tweet media three
14
2
138
@olivem1nt
⚡️
1 year
my resolution is to stop judging myself for how I feel or don’t feel because it’s not getting me anywhere
24
2
134
@olivem1nt
⚡️
1 year
I wish I could cry 😩
43
2
133
@olivem1nt
⚡️
1 year
this cookie that I bought my mom for Valentine’s Day 2020 is still in our fridge. I used to tease her about not eating it or throwing it away, but the jokes on me now because I won’t be getting rid of it either
Tweet media one
15
0
133
@olivem1nt
⚡️
1 year
went through a bunch of photos. what pushed me over the edge was not this photo but that my mom was told by her own mom that she was ugly. my mom never believed she was pretty or cute or anything. & not 2 weeks ago she was in the hospital telling me how pretty I looked
Tweet media one
14
2
132
@olivem1nt
⚡️
1 year
they lay on/near me a lot. maybe they want to comfort me. it’s working. I’m having my nightly cry but at least I have them
Tweet media one
18
2
130
@olivem1nt
⚡️
1 year
I noticed that there was a theme in a lot of our pictures together where she’s always to the left of me. so that’s how I’d like to imagine her, still — hovering by my left side ❤️
Tweet media one
Tweet media two
Tweet media three
Tweet media four
16
1
130
@olivem1nt
⚡️
10 months
I guess it’s good I mostly feel okay enough now to have this as my phone wallpaper. I love this phot because it’s like she’s reaching out to give me a hug, but at the same time it makes me sad because I wish I could get a hug from her, still 💔
Tweet media one
25
3
130
@olivem1nt
⚡️
1 year
I should’ve been shopping for a nice mother’s day gift for her, not buying a burial outfit and planning her funeral. but the feeling of wanting to do something kind for her is about the same. I still want to do right by her. I still want to give her something nice
22
1
131
@olivem1nt
⚡️
1 year
I’m running on pretzels, water and trail mix this morning and I feel a headache coming on. and we are getting ready to plan my mom’s funeral or memorial service 😶
19
4
130
@olivem1nt
⚡️
1 year
no agitation today, at all. meds have been upped and mom seems really peaceful. there’s a lot of the kind of breathing changes I knew would happen eventually, but it’s not as distressing as watching her be agitated or uncomfortable. I really think the end is near, just as
12
2
127
@olivem1nt
⚡️
1 year
had one of those big ugly cries in my car and it did help. I don’t even remember what triggered that wave 😟
27
4
132
@olivem1nt
⚡️
1 year
😶
Tweet media one
31
0
126
@olivem1nt
⚡️
1 year
also… I could be wrong . it’s hard to predict when we’ve already thought mom was going to pass away twice already this past week. it’s so hard to know. even the doctors and nurses have said it’s between her and a higher power 🥺
16
2
125