Norb Lamby
@oh_bloodynora
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Pinned Tweet
10:00 am ur alarm labeled “McGriddle Time” goes off, you go to golden McDonald’s and sit behind a yee yee truck for 15 minutes, you come home with 10 McGriddles. Your mother cries
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@sharkofmainst
thought it was in the bartender manual to be either an alcoholic or a former alcoholic
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the fact that UNC isn’t requiring a 2-week quarantine for all students before classes start is a clear indication that they aren’t even really trying and they know we’ll move online but it won’t happen till after everyone has paid their full tuition ✨
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guys DO NOT get the vaccine, i got the swine flu vaccine in 2009 and now im a theatre major
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I’d probably make sure you aren’t doing a half-ass job of social distancing yourself before saying how much you hate the people going out to parties. Eating dinner with 8 of your closest friends at an indoor restaurant isn’t a good look either ✨
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i’m ready to admit it now. i was cheating at heads up 7 up. like 95% of the time. i am sorry
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only CO theatre kids know how to steal like an artist give to the people. only CO theatre kids know how to make art my friends make art make a world my friends make a world
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the real walk of shame is the walk home from a theatre class where you had to wear a costume
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can you get expelled for cyberbullying your own university asking for a friend
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im a slut for motifs if anything ever happens more than once I simply lose it
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yes i do make my alcohol purchases entirely based on how pretty the bottle is
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also so that when you inevitably catch Covid-19 in our crowded unsafe facilities that we’re deciding to open before it’s safe in order to take your money, we can say that we told you to wear a mask 🥰✨
Happy Friday Bears! Make sure you
#MaskUp
so we can enjoy
#BlueAndGoldFriday
on campus soon! 😷🐻
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UNC athlete insta bios b like:
sko BEARS🐻, COVID survivor, ALWAYS row, NEVER drift, the ROW never STOPS 💯
“that’s my goal, to blow up then act like I don’t know nobody”🙄
❤️Abby 4/15/20
🙏🏻Romans 8:11
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here’s every time I did my makeup in quarantine for the nobody who asked (1/2)
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why does this mask smell like the McDonald’s playplace on highlands ranch parkway on a Thursday in 2008
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ppl in Facebook comments will really b like “coming from someone with a peanut allergy, I don’t think homosexuality should b allowed”
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Do you have a million different alarms on your phone set in oddly specific increments throughout all 24 hours of the day or are u neurotypical
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every day i wake up and i lay in my silly little bed and then i sit at my silly little table and eat my silly little food and get my silly little stomachache and then i lay in my silly little bed and then i sit at my silly little table and then i lay in my silly little bed
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in hell you wait to be called into an audition room for eternity
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no of course, it would be ridiculous for my burrito to microwave all the way through on the first try
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I have them. I’ve been slowly gathering them in a ceramic peanut in my closet since 2006
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Please let women wear clothes and have friends
I can't even make fun of them because I know they're all happier than me
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that scene in glee when the deaf school is just trying to perform their arrangement of Imagine and the new directions decide to...sing over them??? And we were supposed to find that uplifting??? 🤢
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hey it’s me! your high school acquaintance who took up rock climbing in college! would you like to see a closeup video of some brown rocks that pans down to show that I am high off the ground? would you like to see 5 more?
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you either die with a naked window neighbor or you live long enough to watch yourself become the naked window neighbor
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TSA agent: do you have any other metal on your person that I should know about?
me: well my nipples are pierced
TSA agent: oh my god bitch no way 🤭😳😉 haha omg did it hurt????
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college professors really get paid to ask vague questions with no answers all day huh
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thinkin bout how i peaked in 2018 colorado all state mixed jazz choir
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ok guys what are the fan theories on how spencer shay afforded that apartment on icarly
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if you were working at centennial ikea click and collect today this tweet is to apologize for not putting my cart back I couldn’t find where to put it there was nowhere for it to go I’m sorry
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male-identifying friends in the room: objectifying women around your “cool” female friends hurts them. Hurts their personal feelings and self esteems and ESPECIALLY hurts their ability to trust you. Lets them know you’re even more misogynistic when they aren’t around.
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also i saw a tweet earlier that said if you’re a man and you see a woman being harassed in public you should walk up and pretend to be her boyfriend to get the harasser to leave...don’t do that? do something else that is not that
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if I could have a conversation w my kitchen appliances, I’d tell that bitch (my microwave) to shut the fuck up ✨
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thinkin bout all the times i said smart correct things as a child and the adults in charge of me laughed them off because they didn’t immediately get it, they didn’t have to take the time to understand me, and i was smaller than them
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here’s my mt hot take for the day. The key of Hard Knock Life is too high. Have you ever heard that song where all the children were hitting the note and none of them were screaming? take her down a whole step. let the children rest
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buying things from thrift stores, labeling them “vintage” and reselling them for obscene amounts of money should simply not be allowed
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I can’t tell you how badly I wish I could mute other people on zoom
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[at the party]
-hey guys I don’t feel so good
-Oh no man, do you need to puke and rally?
-Nah man, I think....I think I gotta poop and regroup
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“tis I, the littlest woman” -little women? idk I didn’t read it
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imagine giving one of the worst auditions of your life and then it being immortalized next to a clip of the producers cringing in that montage of horrible At The Ballets in the chorus line documentary
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the best kind of fork is a fork with heavy prongs so it never falls out of the bowl you rest it on, follow for more hot takes
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Are you busy, tired, and dirty? Life Hack: take a nap while you’re in the bath to maximize your free time! So easy and simple!
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“dude, we’re getting band back together” and “ready for the bettys” are BOTH in season one of phineas and ferb, I can’t believe they just...peaked immediately like that
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men shouldn’t be allowed to say the word “bra.” I don’t have a good reason it just pisses me off every time they do it
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it’s all “acapella is dumb” “acapella is stupid” until
@LilNasX
makes all the sounds with his mouth and then suddenly everyone is horny for an acapella arrangement
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did I miss the pandemic being cancelled why is everyone socializing like they’re safe
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if you’re reading this put your betta fish in a bigger tank
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every minute of every day I am thinking about the next time I can get my butter noodle fix
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✨oh no! 🙊🙈 my human form🧍♀️is revolting me 🤢😔time to ⏰ put it 👕🩳away🧥✨
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had to buy a phone charger, a beanie, and a bang at 3 AM last night. i am 7/11’s target audience. don’t text processing a lot rn
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this is the most universal facial expression of all time even though there is only one individual who can make it
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if you are thinking of playing an entire frank ocean album for that girl you’re trying to bone...go for it bro 100% she’s gonna love it congrats on the sex
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Imagine: You graduate from Denver School of the Arts. You end up on the bachelor. He likes you and comes to your hometown. You lie and say you graduated from East
Imagine: You graduate from Hug High School. You end up on the Bachelor. He likes you and he comes to your hometown. You drive the McCarran loop twice and go to the view. You do not get a rose.
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the fact that other people experience thoughts, all day, that I will never know about, fucks with me
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nobody is calling out your friend Brad The Good Cop saying he specifically caused slavery by himself, the POINT is that the system he works for (and chooses to continue to give his labor to) is built with malicious intent toward POC
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Greeley people be careful on 10th between Gunter and Frasier at night, last night an older man yelled at me and then followed me and didn’t stop until I was visibly on the phone. Maybe he was a confused old man who really wanted to know the time but maybe he wasn’t so stay safe
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Socially distanced Sociology! Very exciting to see some of our
#UNCBears
students on campus in
#uncosociology
courses with Dr. Angie Henderson and also with Dr. Rebecca Beals. As Dr. Beals’ mask indicates, “Everything is Fine” 😷 👍 🐻 📚
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any of my followers take AP Psych in high school? i wanna know why I always cry at “Determinate” from Disney’s Lemonade Mouth (2011)
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wanting to have sex with someone just isnt the fucking compliment you think it is!!!
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furiously googling “alligators ears loud noises hurt alligator” through blurred eyes
Bonus photo for the year: an alligator watches a rocket launch. In nearly 20 years of setting up cameras around the pads, I have never captured a gator in an image before. And more than just the eyes, they seem to be watching!
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my inner child, shaking and crying: you wouldn’t DARE wear that in public
me: oh yeah. i think I would
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the feminine need to be actively drinking a little beverage of some kind at all times
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ladies...if a rando messages you on Instagram asking you to be his sugar baby.....it’s a scam....if you want a sugar daddy go find one, don’t send visa gift cards to some internet stranger.....
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Getting our first female president because of Biden dying would be like winning a football game because the other team’s bus broke down
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has anyone noticed that you DRIVE on a PARKway but you GET EXPLOSIVE DIARRHEA at a TARGET IN LOVELAND after EATING AT A BAD DADDY’S BURGER BAR?
has anyone noticed that you PARK in a DRIVEway but CRY in a WALGREEN’S BATHROOM ?
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by far the most unrealistic thing about harry potter is the tables being separated into houses, anyone who has met an Adult knows that the students would b “sitting by someone you don’t know :)))”
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The government deciding the criteria for who gets that stimulus money:
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why’d you join a sorority I joined the sorority because I love wearing matching outfits with my friends next question
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i just picked up my bag of cheese cubes and wondered why it was wet before remembering that I cried onto it earlier so
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not to contribute to the MT discourse or anything but i’m so sick of people sleeping on matilda
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this is my brat child who I don’t like. they are a brat because they sleep all day, don’t ever find the motivation to do the things they’re supposed to do, and have no appreciation for the life that I gave them. This is clearly because they hate me and wish I were dead xx
Parents can spot fake friends but cnt even notice their depressed kids 😭
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if you travelled just for fun over spring break...I’d think hard abt your priorities
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little women but instead of Christopher Columbus they all say “well I’ll be a monkey’s fuck!”
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If I were JK Rowling I would’ve immediately thought of a spell that replaced caffeine and the fact that she didn’t do that tells me she’s clearly neurotypical
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both owen and I are getting vaccinote on monday i am experiencing euphoria
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If I ever tried to tell you that Greeley doesn’t small all that bad this is a formal apology
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