Salman Rashid
@odysseuslahori
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#TravelWriter , My Twitter language is as scarlet as my sins can ever get; hope my books are read. Author of 14 books. My only known disease: borderline sanity.
Lahore, Pakistan
Joined February 2013
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Can we please be like this for all times to come?
Please, please, please.
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Just climbed the roof to see how many morons were standing outside on the road. NOT A SOUL. Saalay chootiyon ko chootiya bana rahay hain.
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To my Indian friends. You people are so silly. You should have given all of Kashmir to us. In less than 5 years they would have been fed up, fought a war of cessation and then you could have done whatever you wanted.
How can you forget "East Pakistan?"
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Re S Afridi telling a moronic TV host how he broke his TV set when he saw a Hindu ritual: do not expect anything else from a street urchin with poor upbringing and zero education.
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Talking of how jizya taker would spit in the mouth of the giver. The reason even high caste Hindus converted.
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I hear there are Pakistanis gloating over the failure of the Indian lunar mission. What sort of sick, convoluted mind would do that?
We should be ashamed that while the Indians are at least trying we are nowhere near a space programme.
Stop being envious, Morons. Learn to admire.
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We have a friend who is a jaddi pushti Arain. His father never agrees with me when I say we are Indians. He insisted on being Arab. "Assi Hindu ho he nahi sakday!"
His son got his DNA done. 87% Indian, a few % Iranian and Turkish. Zero arabona virus.
I wonder if he told his dad.
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Some years ago I read that a diplomat, likely Pakistan and syed, asked an Indonesian minister why they had Ganesh Maharaj on their currency note. Reply: WE CHANGED OUR RELIGION, NOT OUR FATHERS.
To all those who believe in their South Asian ancestry and are proud of it.
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I say let us first put Pakistan in order. We have Balochistan bleeding and Khyber-Pakhtunkhwa in somewhat poor way. Please let's get them back in order.
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If Imran Khan is successful in opening the border with India, and making everlasting peace too, I will forever be grateful to Qamar Javed Bajwa for letting him do it.
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My wife, a die hard PPPian always voted. I always hated every politician, never voted. Confession: I am voting now. And both of us have resolved to vote PMLN!
2 things: NS refused to budge during dharna. He did not leave PM House in face of danger. And he stands up to the army.
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This man is without question the most shameless person in the entire Universe.
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If you want cocking, especially Chines, at site, Saeed is your man.
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@majorgauravarya
Major Arya, I beg your pardon, sir. China is a friend and we will except every shit we receive from them.
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If you ever want to know what real fake history is, try Pakistan Studies books as taught in our schools. And they're at all levels of school. The higher they go, the faker and more real the fake becomes.
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A person without religion is like a fish without a bicycle.
Salman Rashid on Friday 8 March 2019.
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Religion does not make patriots. It is love for the janam bhoomi, the dust that one springs from. We've got it all wrong here.
I thank
@majorgauravarya
for this:
Major General Afsir Karim passes away. A war hero, he fought in the 1962 & 1965 wars. He commanded 8 Para during the 1971 war. He later commanded 11 Div. God bless you Sir. You will always live in our hearts. Jai Hind 🙏
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جج صاحب بہت ہی مخولی صاحب ہیں۔ بہت ہنساتے ہیں۔ پوچھا ٢ جرنیل ریٹائر ہو کے بغیر دو سال کی عدت کاٹے غیر ملکی نوکریوں پر کیسے چلے گئے۔ کس نے اجازت دی۔
سر جی، مالکاں نوں وی کدی کسے کنجر توں اجازت لینی پئی اے؟😂😂😂😂
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So Gen Bajwa gave himself an extension.
Does it mean the current crop of Corps Commanders are incompetent?
That is the only meaning I can understand.
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No matter who wins General Selection 2018, the ultimate loser will be Pakistan.
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Dawn Headline today: "Imran says it's time for peace."
With whose permission is he permitted to utter such treasonous rubbish?
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Young driver cutting my right of way.
I rolled down window: "Beta mera right of way tha."
He. "I apoligise sir. I am very sorry."
I didn't know there were still families in Lahore who taught their children courtesy.
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بڑے بڑے مادر چود سور کے بچے دیکھے ہیں پر ایسا نہیں دیکھا آج تک۔
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Time will soon prove that PTI is nothing more than a storm in a toilet bowl.
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@AMIT_GUJJU
Bloody chootiya. And the host is such an idiot she is laughing hysterically on the chootiya's recounting of his own stupid prejudice.
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What is the matter with every bloody fool in this country? Why can't you plant native species of trees. We have such beautiful and beneficial trees, yet we go for all sorts of shit from abroad.
I'll tell you what. All you BASTARDS have a massive inferiority complex.
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Liaquat Gill, a Christian of Gulshan e Ravi, addressed some fighting kids as 'beta' (son) telling them not to quarrel. They, all Muslims, beat him up for addressing them as beta. Fie, Fie, Fie! Curses on us! And we accuse India of Hindutva.
Fie on Us!
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Allah be praised. We are doing rather well in the Terror industry.
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Man not even fit to be a peon becomes the Minister for Railways.
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Wah jee Wah! I'm just loving this. A Grade 20 Pakistan Admin Service (earlier District Management Group) officer stole the wallet of a Kuwaiti delegate. CCTV footage showed him, he denied initially and then caved in.
Allah be praised, we are sooooo Islamic.
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Right! Haramzado, khud kuch na karna.
PS. And now we know why we haven't got anywhere in more than 70 years.
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Some months ago I was at Hyperstar and asked a girl assistant, "Putr, machhi kithay ae?"
Without batting an eye, she: "Pani vich!"
Then I saw panic flicker in her eyes. That because all oldies bloody grouches.
I laughed out loud, told her she was the best and that I loved her.
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My parents. The back says Mallick Photo Studio, Quetta, India. Abu was AEN NWR at Dalbandin when he wedded Dec 1944. Then he was AEN Mach until posted Dharampur Apr 1946. So this image is pre-1946.
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Nawaz Sharif's mother is either extremely naive or just a plain liar to tell BBC that her boy never stole a Pakistani rupee. That he even took a tiffin box to work so as not to eat from the govt. Does she not know how her husband stole electric power to run his K Lakhpat factory?
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Here is Pakistan, a small country with a galloping population, heading to be 300 million in the next decade or so. And our economy is based on real estate.
Fools, this is a diminishing capital. You are killing this country. One day there will be no more land to grow food.
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Saw this in today's paper. It brought tears to my eyes. Tears of thankfulness. Thank you whoever saved this one life. And thank you President Macron.
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I have to admit this is the first time in my 68 years that I have actually felt grieved. I seem to be losing my humour. Not that I have lost a dear one to coronavirus.
It is simply the feeling of helplessness. AIDS and Hep-C were OK. There were ways to catch them.
This.......
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I'm not dead and I'm not unwell.
I'm only terribly busy trying to complete a writing assignment. You'll see my poisonous tweets soon enough again.
Meanwhile, PM Moron Khan pictured planting an araucaria sapling. Did no one tell the retard that the plant is alien & short-lived?
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Last night at 11:00 PM I brought someone to Punjab Institue of Cardiology. He was having a heart attack. The premises was crowded, and I thought I would be stuck there for hours. Amazed by the quiet efficiency of the paramedic staff. The first ECG was within 10 mins. The file
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جو مر گیا وہ شہید، جو بچ گیا وہ غازی۔
جو چین بھاگ گیا وہ نیازی۔
کھسی خان کو شرم آنی چاہیے کہ اس موقع پر بھاگ گیا۔
پر کیا کرے وہ تو نیازی ہے جو صرف ہتھیار ڈالتے ہیں۔
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A hundred years from now anyone reading the history of Pakistan, especially of Generals' Selection-2018 will think they are reading farce or a very sick satire.
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For Rajputs chivalry was foremost. Even in the battlefield, it was against their norm to pursue a fleeing enemy & kill wantonly. When the enemy was routed, the horn was sounded to hold. If the enemy rallied a second time they fought. If the enemy fled, the battle was over. India
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One day perhaps by the end of the 21st century, the history of Partition will be written.
Then we will know the unalterable truth.
The villainy of bastards like Mountbatten will be uncovered.
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My father never referred to a box of matches as ماچس (maachiss) as everyone always did. For my father it was always diya salai. Cam be translated as lamp rod or needle. That was the classical word for the item before English took over.
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It is only because of the inferiority complex stemming from giving up the religion of forefathers that every convert to Islam in the subcontinent has invented an illegitimate father for himself who came from Arabia.
Be proud of what you are and arabona virus can never effect you
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Call me Patwari or whatever you want, but who could have ever thought I'd be a Nawaz Sharif follower. It all began with his assertion for civilian supremacy three years ago that cost him his premiership. It is now finally set after his speech yesterday.
@KamranShafi46
@Micks_it
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Dec 1988, returned to Lhr after 10 yrs in Karachi. On the streets everyone spoke Punjabi. Now even when I speak to these bastards in Punjabi they respond in accented Urdu. What the fuck is the matter with these madarchod Punjabis?
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I told you there was something about Gen Asim Munir. Word reaches me that he has shunted out some 450 officers guilty of moral turpitude. He is a disciplinarian who brooks no misdemeanour.
Well done, sir. Way to go.
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So, we sounded sirens. Then some who had noting better to do stood on the roads and laughed and joked. Do we hear that the evil Hindus and Sikhs have vacated Kashmir? Or do those no-good people want us to repeat this exercise next week too?
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This Mughal Bridge 400 years old. Degh Nadi near Muridke is going to be torn down for no reason at all. This is a a historical monument, people.
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My wife got tested for Covid-19. And she is.......
She is......
She is.. coff, coff, coff, hack, ya khuda khair.
She is NEGATIVE.
Rs 9200 ujaar kay he madam nu sukoon aya. Meri gull nahi munni.
But she's (and her family) champion of the vehm dee bemari.
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Generally, Pakistanis have no opinion/belief/conviction of their own. They mouth words they hear from peers or on the street. That's bad. But the pits is when their belief is based on the crap fed them by the establishment.
Morons, think for yourself.
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G. M Syed was "anti-Pakistan". That's all right because he was Sindhi. If Faiz Ahmed Faiz had been alive today, he would have been declared ghadar, ghadar, ghadar.
And as for Ghalib, thank goodness he died 150 years ago. His fate would have been worse than poor Mashal Khan's.
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Yesterday's news. COAS bajwa meets several retarded, sorry, retired generals in Lahore. Most of them retired COASs.
My reaction: Gosh, for that duration under that one roof, there was more money than bill Gates could ever dream of.
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I just couldn't hold this any longer. Mori Darwaza is one of 12 gates of Lahore old quarter. Now mori is a hole. Also a rat's burrow is mori in Punjabi. In Urdu/Hindi this mori is bill. Darwaza is Gate in English. The Lahori name for Bill Gates therefore is Mori Darwaza.
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PEOPLES! I have finished writing my Grand Trunk Road book. Gawddddd! Never knew it would drain me like this. At 7:00 PM I would collapse. Asleep at 8:00 PM. Wide awake at 1:30 AM or thereabout. COLD SWEAT!
So much left to do! SO FREAKING MUCH LEFT TO DO.
Emailed and now FREE.
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Ladies and Gentlemen!
Countdown for the THIRD - the THIRD - divorce begins.
Perhaps the Djinns have so ordained it.
Or is it the dead man in the tomb in Pakpattan who wishes it this way?
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It's the Indian Ocean and there is no Arabian Sea. The Persians always knew the northern part as the Sea of Makran. It is time to go back to the correct nomenclature.
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Is this Sidhu retarded or is he retarded? Meets Gov Sarwar and thanks him for the love and affection shown him by Lahoris. WTFFF has Sarwar got to be with the way Lahoris are, you idiot?? When we were building ourselves like this, Sarwar was a two-bit labourer in Scotland.
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When someone flaunts their "Syed" lineage and I tell them it's fiction they go ballistic.
Ditto with all other castes who claim Arab origin.
I say to all of you: GET YOUR DNA PROFILE DONE.
Once an expensive exercise, it is now under US$ 100.
Let truth set you free.
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So, finally, at long last someone got something right in this Muslim country. "Forget cousins, look for someone else."
This regarding inbreeding for those who don't understand.
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For Rs 30,000 per month a police constable lays down his life because the state cannot/is not willing to protect him. Police are sent in with anti-riot gear against savage and armed hoodlums.
The poor policeman does not even have plots and acres to dream of in future.
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The man will NOT be arrested. And this will be the beginning of the dismantling of the state you all call Pakistan.
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POINT!
IK never held public office. If he is rich, it's his money not looted money. Why is he beng equated with Tind of Rai Wind?
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After this recent capitulation I can say that Pakistan has made a habit of losing all its wars. We are the most practiced country in losing wars.
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If a man who turned 67 recently has still not grown up, there is no hope he ever will. When I say in Pakistan men don't grow up, they grow old, I had this item in my mind.
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چوہدری گڑبڑ صاح�� اب پھر گورنر بن رہے ہیں۔ پہلے بار گورنری چھوڑی کہ اُس عہدے کے کوئی پاور نہیں۔ ایسے ہی ڈمی عہدہ ہے۔
چوئی صاحب، اے نوے پاکستان وچ کوئی نویں طاقت آگئی اے لاٹ صاحب کول۔
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Let me confess that I grieve the assassination of Gen Qassem Soleimani.
For the first time in my life I have actually hated America.
And I AM NOT A SHIA.
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To all my YT subscribers, thank you. All this is very fine but friends in India I have a gripe. We check our analytics and find very few viewers from India. O bhai log, these stories are for you. We in Pakistan know this already
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If standing with the Honourable Justice Qazi Faez Isa makes me a traitor, then so be it. Judge me guilty of high treason.
I am ready.
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Why does every idiot driver only use HIGH BEAM at night? Don't they know or do they just not care that they blind oncoming traffic. I use my bicycle often and notice how one parked on the side of the road will also have his high beam on.
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Karachi airport about 12:00 noon, 6 Jan. Tea kiosk. I ask the man standing next to a dispenser if he has "ilahichi chai".
No, he said. I pointed to the dispenser and asked what that was for. "Is main cardamom tea hai!"
🤣🤣🤣
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Will be going to the airport tomorrow knowing full well that NS will, if he gets back into power somehow, try once again to be amir ul momineen. He will be as incompetent, bumbling and CORRUPT as ever before. Perhaps all this to a greater degree than ever before. But going still.
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You know you're old when you blow your nose and a fart escapes.
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THE MULLAHS OF PAKISTAN ARE THE REAL DARK SIDE OF HUMANITY.
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"We are the cream of the nation." This crap I've heard from hundreds of arseholes in Pakistan.
Chootiyas, cream rises to the top on milk. ON MILK! This is a fucking sewer and you are nothing more than turds riding the black, stinking current.
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Mir Hasil Bizenjo is a son of the great Mir Ghaus Buksh Bizenjo, arguably the most principled and upright politician this poor country has ever known. Compare the pygmy Baloch that now rules the upper house with that giant who is sadly no longer with us.
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Today 24 June 2020, when the day was at its longest, the first pre-monsoon shower hit us in Lahore at 6:20 AM. Now, three hours later, it is still cloudy. The blessed monsoon!!!
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I have always said that a man without eyebrows is always a crook and can never be trusted.
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I lament the young major and five young soldiers killed in Buleda (Balochistan) in IED attack. Their blood is not on the hands of the Baloch we like to accuse. It is on the hands of those whose flawed policies have brought Balochistan to this pass.
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There are two men claiming they were raped by Hameed Haroon. I have a question: how can a grown man be raped by another individual? Couldn't they have fought him off. Hameed is not athletic at all. One punch in the solar plexus should have done it.
Or were these men willing?
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How not to do things.
The east gate of Lahore Fort.
This transformer could have been a few metres to one side.
But no.
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I just love it when our phuddoo politicians say "We will not permit so and so to take the law in their hands!"
Oye Chootiyas, they who take the law in their hands do not need your permission to do so. They just up and do it.
Or don't you see that?
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So Farid Maneka is now officially the First Ex-Husband of the First Pirni.
He does wrong, police stop him and he wants the District Police Officer to come to his residence and beg forgiveness. Well done, Pimp!
The good officer refuses and is transferred.
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PM The Dim Khan in his speech some days ago said, "Hum kub tak ghareebon ko paisay khilatay rahain gay?"
Besharm, utnay saal to khila jitnay sal tu nay ATM Tareen kay khai.
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