Dear @OsunPpro and @NPF_Osun_State, Can you look into this case? Detaining a father for over one week based on the unsubstantiated allegation that he kidnapped his own daughter doesn’t make sense. The mother is living abroad and dictating to the police to use force to take custody of the child from the father. If you are certain that he has committed a crime, why haven’t you arraigned him in court? The said child has confirmed that she is safe and well but you’re still detaining the father. This is unacceptable.

For the benefit of the British foreign intelligence people that are so interested in my activities that they mentioned my name 51 times in their secret "Adaptive Country Plan for Nigeria" document and called me "Pro-Kremlin Nigerian journalist David Hundeyin," let me be crystal clear about something: 1.) I. Do. Not. Give. A. Single. Fuck. What. You. Label. Me. Or. Think. About. Me. 2.) I am not a citizen or resident of any Western nation, nor have I ever had any intention whatsoever of being. I am an African, and I mind my African business. Whether you want it to be the case or not, Africa is a continent of 54 sovereign countries, each with their own foreign policy directions. If you disagree with that statement, then you have to come and attempt to physically recolonise Africa if you dare. 3.) Nigeria, where I come from, is a non-aligned country and has a well-known foreign policy doctrine called "Africa First." Nigerian citizens are at liberty to associate, exchange ideas, or do business with whoever we want to on God's green earth. You cannot choose my friends or who I am allowed to associate with for me, neither can you choose my enemies for me. 4.) I am a freeborn son of Africa who has no need to define myself by any parameters created by muzungus. I am not Pro or Anti anybody except where my African interests are concerned, but if you insist on calling me "Pro-Kremlin," then I will gladly accept the label because frankly, so what? What the fuck are you going to do about it? 5.) I will continue to appear on RT and Sputnik, the same way I have continued to appear on BBC Radio 4, CNN Africa, Fox News, New Yorker Magazine, Le Monde, and Jeunes Afrique. 6.) If appearing on the 2nd group didn't make the sky fall down, then appearing on the 1st group will not do so either. So take your stupid buzzwords, catchphrases, and NLP terminology, wrap them up in a small piece of paper, lubricate it with super glue, and jam it as far up your limey ass as it will go, so that it stays there forever. Finally, I went to a British secondary school in Nigeria. I wrote British exams (UCLES) instead of Nigerian ones. I attended a British university for my first degree, and I later received a sponsored fellowship at the University of Cambridge. I have lived and worked in the UK before. All of these things, which brought benefit to the UK and its economy, were done with my Nigerian brain, my Nigerian body, my Nigerian skills, and my Nigerian money. But these gifts were given voluntarily. The UK does not own any of those things. The implied sense of ownership over the lives and productivity of Nigerian citizens, which is abundantly evident from the tone of this document, shows very clearly that those who really run the UK are still not over losing their empire. It appears the "Pro-Kremlin" tag is also a psychological coping mechanism for British intelligence officers who daydream about the glory days when they would have been 007, but their real job nowadays is to sit at a table in a windowless room at Vauxhall Cross, reading David Hundeyin on Twitter telling them everyday to stay out of Africa's business and mind their depressed little umbrella island. To them, I say, go find healing. Seek therapy for your Post-Traumatic Lost Empire Syndrome. Book an Easyjet holiday to Lanzarote and cheat on Shelly with a local prostitute for €50/hr. Do a roadtrip to Orkney with your old school friends and spend the 11-hour drive talking about your divorces and fat kids. Pop a Prozac. Do whatever helps you get past the idea that you need to own Africans for your life to have meaning. Because Britainnia is not ruling the waves anymore. Not now, not ever. Seek help.