Bullpen Clown
@nunchukdave
Followers
2,989
Following
142
Media
265
Statuses
4,711
Explore trending content on Musk Viewer
Kamala
• 2261369 Tweets
hobi
• 606057 Tweets
Argentina
• 584483 Tweets
Bret
• 528591 Tweets
hoseok
• 522941 Tweets
jhope
• 409800 Tweets
WELCOME BACK J-HOPE
• 409134 Tweets
Fox News
• 293942 Tweets
seokjin
• 284383 Tweets
García Luna
• 268369 Tweets
ブロック
• 222827 Tweets
maya
• 170463 Tweets
2seok
• 135352 Tweets
Palermo
• 93875 Tweets
DE LA MANO DEL SEÑOR
• 91804 Tweets
Sabrina
• 85040 Tweets
Liam Payne
• 84170 Tweets
#AgathaAllAlong
• 53832 Tweets
Bluesky
• 42858 Tweets
LINGORM PANTENE VOGUE TRIP
• 40961 Tweets
ミュート
• 34671 Tweets
#AEWDynamite
• 34657 Tweets
スーパームーン
• 34365 Tweets
#ラヴィット
• 31277 Tweets
#OneDirection
• 30267 Tweets
Lonzo
• 25201 Tweets
イーロン
• 20070 Tweets
Lynx
• 18892 Tweets
O Vasco
• 12403 Tweets
Buehler
• 10951 Tweets
ジンくん
• 10222 Tweets
Pinned Tweet
one of the biggest lessons in life is that vF is never actually vF. i think that this can be applied to every facet of life. no chapter is ever closed. always keep that in mind.
happy sunday everyone
3
10
172
My hilarious jokes over Teams aren’t hitting their target
7
105
3K
I’m in a good place right now.
Not mentally, just at an open bar.
3
102
2K
For two months I haven't paid for a single meal in NYC.
Here's how:
I take my Adderall in the morning, which suppresses my appetite until dinner, and then I expense dinner because I'm always working late.
6
24
836
hey bro just changed the color of that footnote on slide 18 to match the rest of the deck lmk if u need anything else
6
27
847
Interviewer: can you walk me through a DCF?
Sophomore: so let me start by saying I grew up in a middle class family
5
21
766
Been single for so long someone asked me who I’m with and I said the name of my bank and my group
10
30
723
As intern szn ramps up, i’d just like to bring this little tidbit back to the top of your inboxes.
8
17
521
How I sit at my desk knowing the draft I sent in was pure dogshit, I have too much capacity to not get staffed, and that those three lunch beers are not sitting well
1
9
469
“you’ve gotten so mature”
Thanks I’ve gradually lost my personality ever since I started banking
2
15
406
The equivalent of what my first-year analyst is using when he says he’s going to “take a stab”
3
6
408
“So she modeled out the paydown, but it was just EBITDA - Capex?”
“Just EBITDA - Capex!!!! They’re calling it free cash flow, Jerry”
2
21
353
Well someone has to turn your grandma into EBITDA
Private equity in health care is so evil it's forced me to repost articles from The Atlantic.
10
8
109
2
14
323
Weird how so many finance guys love F1 when it’s the first thing they pop off their keyboard
3
7
314
let it rip
Blackstone president predicts end of deal drought as US inflation pain fades
8
5
43
1
18
311
My office attendance best mirrors LIFO accounting standards.
6
19
301
Associate: did you check that these factset formulas tie to the 10K?
Me:
5
7
295
crazy to comprehend the sheer number of industry-shaping transactions being driven by some sleep deprived 23 year old who is most likely plugging shareholders equity
6
10
290
pov: you finally have time to prep for your interview in 12 hours
8
7
274
there are legitimate 20 yr olds advancing to the third round of the australian open and i’m sitting in front of a monitor deciding how to footnote a pro forma adjustment
4
8
269
You’re down bad?
How about your doorman asking you why you never bring girls back
5
4
266
“Yeah man we’ll be the only finance bros at the Spaniard! all the girls will want to talk to us”
3
8
257
VP: no rush, you can send me a draft on Monday
MBA Associate: sounds good we’ll get it to you by Thursday
Me, muted and camera off:
1
0
248
b*tches live a whole year just to split an 8 person Airbnb in the hamptons for MDW in the hopes that they meet some broken down associate who decides to marry them
4
12
243
when the MBA associate starts talking about how porters five forces can really influence the model
0
9
245
feedback of the week: “please don’t act jaded and negative around the interns”
2
13
227
Like yeah thanks so much for doing five hours of math from a blank excel but hey man you forgot to capitalize a header on an output page what the hell
3
9
208
If anyone wants to watch me do a sub-90 minute LBO I’ll be putting up a Twitch link later this week
3
3
205
it’s crazy how you can be doing lines with someone in a club bathroom and then twelve hours later that same person will send you an email asking why ebitda margins are off
2
8
200
My dream gf:
- gives me a daily market update every morning
- not self made (trust fund baby)
- gives me scratches behind the ear whenever I’m a good boy
- birkenstocks
- really weird and only a little bit funny
- no moral compass whatsoever
- makes banger spaghetti & meatballs
9
3
184
i like to schedule all my undergrad networking calls for one night and just pop an edible before
the shit that comes out of my mouth is absolutely ridiculous
3
2
185
Hi!
Hope you’re doing well. I just wanted to thank you again for taking the time to go on a date with me. I very much enjoyed our conversation and appreciated the time spent together.
Looking forward to continuing in the process - I would welcome any feedback.
4
3
185
oh so my MD could bring his son to the office but i can’t bring a random girl i met three nights before?
3
2
181
“Yo this place is my dream bank”
bro there’s no such thing as a dream bank. they’re all the same. you do the same work. the slides look the same. the colors are different. the only reason you’d have a dream bank is if you get a hard on for their bank color palette.
9
7
177
my MBA summer associate’s like i’m so slammed i have meetings all day
my brother in ego these are not meetings these are calls where you’re muted and taking notes
3
3
178
POV you see me on the way to teach my first year a lesson after he turned all my comments incorrectly and then proceeded to ask if Wednesday was protected
2
1
177
*checking the LinkedIn of some cocky private credit associate to make sure he’s junior enough before I send him an extremely disrespectful response to his stupid diligence request*
2
1
169
*MD getting books ready for a meeting*: “have to carry these, anyone have a bag?”
Analyst 1: yeah we got a bag
Analyst 2: bro shut up
0
0
169
Investment Committee: This company is shit, there’s no meaningful cash flow, and the risk here is way too high
Coverage MD: Blackstone is the sponsor
IC:
1
9
167
If Michigan wins, Ross alumni in bullpens across America will be more egotistical than ever before (if that’s even possible) and I’m not sure anyone is ready for that
1
3
163
Analyst class: so Thanksgiving is protected, right?
My staffer:
1
1
161
someone tell my mba summer associate that it doesn’t matter what they did at his old firm because we don’t fucking work at his old firm
4
0
157
If you can’t handle me at S + 550 then you don’t deserve me at S + 200
0
3
151
undergrads be like so do you spend most of your day in powerpoint or excel like bro i spend most of my day on twitter until i get comments
2
2
141
congrats on getting married and having your life in order man! i like to get drunk when i feel sad
3
5
141
Imagine being on a date and the girl is like enough about me tell me about yourself
…and you start walking her through your deal experience
4
0
139
It's always "you missed a footnote" and never "wow the other 99.9% of this looks great" 🥺
3
7
143
i hate those monday morning work conversation that are like
“how was your weekend”
“oh it was pretty chill and low key, just hung out with friends”
*both nursing two day old hangovers but will never mention it*
5
3
140
The sexually frustrated analyst class when a female college junior visits the floor
2
0
132
Bankers in the “trenches” coming out of the NYC earthquake
1
5
137
The plan:
- tell my associate I’m going to go out Saturday night
- have associate tell me I need to work
- existential crisis
- throw myself into work to drown out emotions
- “dude the adrenaline is amazing - I love this job”
- call suicide hotline
- wake up Sunday morning
3
1
134
my goal this summer is to convince one intern to ask out another intern and watch from afar while HR arrives at the crime scene
2
3
131
hey girlie! how was row 39,386 in section 8,736 at the taylor swift concert? because it sure looked like a blast from your instagram stories!
4
3
125
if there’s one person i’d trust with a soft landing it’s this guy
7
7
124
Does Leonardo DiCaprio just stop working once his model hits v25
9
5
123
No one:
Absolutely no one:
Apollo to the bank group on a Saturday night:
0
0
119
Intern just asked why we call it a bake-off and not a bank-off
4
0
119
My staffer upon hearing of yet another failed situationship
5
1
118
blew off two associates all weekend to teach them that sunday work is not required for a pitch in four weeks
4
4
113
My analyst asked me if I wanted to review her work and I’ve never laughed harder
5
1
111
just rogue staffed an intern to submit my expenses for me and almost got fired
3
1
110
Combing through the Epstein flight logs hoping to god that my staffer’s name shows up
2
2
105
i could literally ask my intern to shine my shoes and they’d reply “would love to - let me know when!!!!”
i miss that energy man
1
3
104
People have to stop taking life so seriously. That’s why i asked my MD if his daughter is single.
4
4
103
Hanging out in the Whole Foods snack section trying to find a date for this wedding in February
5
3
102
Seeing your MD courtside on Ashe while you’re literally turning his book
2
1
100
When the shitty dataroom provider brings in chick fil a for the whole junior class
2
3
102
the male urge to be the fastest LBO modeler in the entire world
4
5
103
Moelis changes their logo and all of a sudden PJT has to become a DTC meal prep startup
3
1
95
My apologies to the shareholders, this model is going to have to wait until tomorrow as I am currently incapacitated due my consumption of 3,000 calories of Trader Joe’s baked cheese crunchies
1
0
93
I don’t align logos, I showcase companies.
I don’t artificially inflate IRR, I’m naturally an optimistic person.
I don’t make formatting errors, I’m just keeping my associate sharp.
This is who I am.
I provide shareholder value.
2
2
95
This PE case study making it seem like maybe a few more years in banking isn’t that bad
3
1
91
The first draft is always the hardest
The model has to be built and those slides won’t create themselves
But after that it’s smooth sailing
Just edits
And eventually you get to the final product
Take that first step
3
1
90
every fintwit account starts off thinking they’ll be the next Litquidity and then ends up in the Upper LMM replying to egirls
5
3
86
when the job gets so unbearable you start to consider an exit to investor relations
2
4
88