Jack de Quidt
@notquitereal
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writer and composer on friends at the table
Joined March 2010
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bandcamp -
cohost -
bcc email newsletter -
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koroks in botw: whee! can you shoot an arrow? at my balloon?
koroks in totk: ya ha ha! build me a ford f1-50!
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help
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everyone knows the real value of video games is allowing you to look at and then acquire an orb
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aubrey plaza's three part answer to "why not make a parks and rec reboot" is:
1. what? why reboot it? it was good and we did it already
2. "i'm very busy"
3. no
and if that isn't the way to go about it i don't know what is
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given the rumours that the last of us 2 is releasing in feb, i decided to get ahead and write up the final paragraph of every review
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fuck off "ghosts never die" bullshit. i can tell you a bunch of ways to kill ghosts
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between the epic store fallout and this recent, gleefully reported story about the respawn developers, we need to be prepared for executives to turn steam forums and subreddits and discords against their own studios in the face of union pressure
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deeply sceptical of bandcamp's sale to epic as well as the idea that a perfectly good - and presumably stable - product "has to grow" / "has to seek out exciting new avenues". sometimes the most artist friendly thing is doing one thing well and with stability
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i've seen a few people wondering what the best streaming service is if they want to support artists. i'm going to be frank. if you buy an album on bandcamp for $7.99 you will be sending the artist more money than you will EVER give them on the most "ethical" streaming site
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so this guy says “you chop my head off and then one year hence i’ll chop your head off” and i think fair enough. not a problem to me because i know what happens when you get your head chopped off. but you’re not going to believe what happened
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ffxiv is my first ever final fantasy game which i feel is a bit like never having experienced "buildings" before and then being led into a cheesecake factory
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...uoy gniksa niaga ecno ma i
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so riot aren't budging on arbitration despite the walkout. just despicable
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i like the phrase “play stupid games win stupid prizes”. i like thinking about the stupid games and prizes
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ffxiv early boss mechanics: avoid AoEs
ffxiv current boss mechanics: you are fighting a bounty hunter who is haggling with his client during the fight. do what you can to disrupt this
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laughed out of prince ludwig’s armory again today. all the guards said my gun was stupid. the chief fusilier called it ‘a tiny baby gun like someone might have in toytown’.
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if you’re new to this the stock market basically has four patterns. a small spike. a big spike. decreasing throughout the week. and absolutely random. all the stocks are sold by a pig
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jk rowling is a terf and if you're following her you should stop. yes even if you want to keep up to date on the news.
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nancy drew meet your new detective partner. his name is kim kitsuragi
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i am in awe of the name of this fuckin 7 eleven snack. i will never ever be able to name a character anything as good as “marinela sponch”
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there are some exceptions but i don't want someone on twitter with 130k followers to tell me that it's a beautiful day and i'm great. i want them to give me twenty thousand dollars
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a fantastic thread about a very silly crime
every few years i email neopets support asking if they can help me log into my childhood account and (unsurprisingly, tiny team, millions of old accounts) i've never heard back
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this, from jason schreier's piece on anthem's development. how many more stories like this? how many more do we have to read and write before we see a sea change?
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imo we shouldn’t do this because the planets would crash
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it’s only a matter of time before “we’re passionate about games and about you, the players” becomes “we’re frustrated that our animation department has downed tools and we know you, the players, are too”
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spent literally all my in game money on a user created tune-up for a small egg car to make it go quickly and neglected to notice that the tune-up was called “wheelies”
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ffxiv main story: before you fight this god you have to bring me fine cakes
ffxiv first expansion: what does it mean to betray, to fight, to love one whose perception of time is alien to you?
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crypto is environmentally destructive clown shit and i think worse of any artist who uses it
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to celebrate finishing shadowbringers, i commissioned
@thebadbucket
to draw Odelie, my final fantasy 14 character. here she is. i am so thrilled
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whichever team at IO that worked out in 2013 or so that hitman should actually be about the worst excesses of modern power and the many ways that it is entangled with luxury should be given a medal
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apparently tim curry auditioned to play judge doom in roger rabbit and his tape was so frightening they turned him down
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“we know how excited you were to play [major franchise instalment] in fall 2022 and we were too. unfortunately, due to an ongoing dispute with some of our developers, that’s not going to be possible.”
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YES. GOOD. let's make 2019 the year of stopping telling people things
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bioware npc: well, i’ve been a member of the Red Order since the Event
nintendo npc: i love to ride my horse! i love to ride it in the field
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today is BANDCAMP FRIDAY, where all purchases of music on the platform (minus a bit for paypal) go directly to the artist! i can't stress enough what a help this is
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absolutely no idea why i'm so tired. i mean i know why. we all know why we're so tired. but it's still a mystery isn't it
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austin and ali just pitched me a future season by showing me some burning wind turbines and reading a passage of Freud
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last night i dreamt i exclusively started wearing crop tops. in the dream i looked rad but felt anxious, and that’s why the fight for queer expression must extend to the realm of sleep
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hitman pre 2016: he's called "the meat king". he's got a kind of bondage dom vibe and he's throwing a party in a slaughterhouse
hitman 2016: in a lake of luxury deep and wide enough, any labour is rendered almost invisible. luckily, that includes murder.
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we need to take the mic away from cis and/or able-bodied folks when it comes to transhumanism as fast as possible. just as fast as possible
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nintendo has somehow invented the exact opposite of the htc vive and it's amazing
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crushing to see the games industry has learned nothing from 2014. the harassment against sweet baby is cut from so similar a cloth - rank opportunism from right wing mouthpieces - utter lack of knowledge about how games are made - dead silence from studios and platforms in power
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the fact that mario maker 2 includes a full Introduction To Game Design course that’s clear and funny is a fuckin triumph of localisation
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jesus christ. an absolute shattering loss in
@waypoint
's layoffs and shuttering. sending so much love to everybody involved and nothing but the worst to the cowardly, destructive vice management who lay their own mistakes at other people's doors
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JUST HEARD AUSTIN SAY THIS ON A MIC
LET'S FUCKING GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
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sucks that i even have to say this but saying “trans rights” is not remotely enough
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i’ve been pretty quiet about my immigration process. it’s been a nightmare. i’m probably going to talk about it more in future but i’m finally here in Southern California. solidarity with all immigrants everywhere
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you could buy an album on bandcamp for $15 and then make five hundred mixtapes for your friends and you would still be doing more financially for the artist than streaming on any platform
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I AM A PESSIMIST BUT DESPITE EVERYTHING I HAVE A VERY FOUNDATIONAL OPTIMISM ABOUT PEOPLE AND COMMUNITIES AND THIS IS WHY
Prowling around the empty nighttime suburbs with headphones on, trying to figure out if this tree in someone’s yard is a chestnut (no, chinquapin), I hear a man’s voice across the street behind me: M’AM. M’AM. M’AM!!!
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i established a laboratory in fallen london and the only person working there right now is a coin specialist. every time i ask her to research something, she says "is it coins" and then i say "no" and then she says "no"
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the ONLY note i would give to wasabi, award winning dog who looks like this, is that i’m disappointed he’s not making some kind of foul noise whenever he moves
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the giant bomb kerbal space program series when they spend hours making a series of space errors and then infinitely longer trying to fix them is one of my favourite LPs
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these sunglasses that i have just bought from forever 21 make me look like a magnificent shithead
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“who called it bioshock when they should have called it gene wilder”, kat, 2017
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cyberpunk 2077..... a grim future........... the only clothes available to us seem to be from....... the allsaints 2017 autumn/winter collection
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ffxiv: here are seven scions. if you're up for it we're going to spend the next 60 hours getting you to like them
me: okay
ffxiv: here's a massive man called hoary boulder and we've worked out how to get you to like him basically instantly
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hey, remember yanny and laurel? thought I’d make a little thread explaining what that was about from an audio perspective. SO, every word has another word hidden inside it. we call them “gremlin words” (1/452)
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by my best estimation, if i was paid spotify's rates for the lifetime streams of
@Friends_Table
music on bandcamp, i would be able to pay one month's rent in about nine years
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once every two weeks or so i think about this bit of the spoken magic live game when art and austin escalated a situation involving mice basically instantly (shoutout to
@transcript_fatt
)
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i'm so glad that we've all been dunking on musk's awful car tunnel today. i feel like we can be brought together in the knowledge that he dug a big expensive hole and everybody hated it
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welcome to the mainstream games industry here are your lgbt options
- cis lesbians
- "my husband went to war"
- "hello. i'm trans"
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a fallout game where you launch nuclear missiles is truly the fallout game of 2018
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games for everybody! with extremely high quality internet! for everybody! games for everybody. do you have chrome? are you connected to the internet always? an 8k screen! we pulled an entire failed network out of louisville like silly string! games for everybody!
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hotel owner in the sinking city: newcomers. honestly every single one of you is a weirdo
me: not me. i'm extremely normal
owner: this last guest left behind a whole load of weird notes
me: i would like to see............. all of them
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into the breach: we will decide the fate of the universe in six minutes and it will involve punching an insect clean through a mountain
wargroove: exactly one year from now your archer will cross the river and be eaten by a dog that looks like a broccoli
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introducing a guy named fandaniel is great for your story because it makes the reader wonder all kinds of things like "why's this guy called fandaniel"
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this entire jeopardy category about state capitals is my favourite sufjan stevens album
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the only sequels i'm interested in are ones that are set 30,000 years after the first part and are floating in the sunset-hued safety of the twilight mirage
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still can’t stop thinking about the songs from ancillary justice
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given the state of the world i’m delighted to announce a new form of emergent, nested anxiety. i call it “anxiety 2”
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personally i think the worst bit about music is all the counting that you have to do
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the quiet year, by avery alder, is available here and i THINK might be the best tabletop game that there is
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it's bi visibility day and the gift i'd love the most is a big studio telling a coming of age lgbt story with masc characters
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“if men could get pregnant—“ they can!!! there are other ways to make the point you’re trying to make
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contextualising crunch and overwork as a cute marketing detail is one way studios are going to try and address it going forward. not “we’re so passionate,” but “isn’t it quirky how we don’t stop?”
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people who struggle to fill in their tax returns are really on twitter today saying that mutual aid funds, suddenly having received actual millions of dollars, are acting too slowly
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marn and pickman
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multiple people have asked if I took a selfie with the fake flowers which I didn’t understand until I found the fake flower aisle
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imagine it being 2018 and receiving the message "animal crossing will release in 2020. it'll be set on a 'deserted island'. it'll feature a crafting mechanic and release during a global pandemic lockdown"
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thinking about the EVER GIVEN and smiling beatifically. rotating that ship in my mind in a way it is famously unable to do in real life
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any interest in a short FatT twitch series called FREAK HOUR in which
@SYLVIBULLET
and i play a bunch of weird, aggressive, possibly bad contemporary horror games
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as a result of your generosity on friday in purchasing my music from bandcamp, i’m delighted to be able to donate $2445 to
@TransLawCenter
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