One week ago, the world learned what too many of us know.
GRACE would like to thank the tireless work of journalists who have spent months listening to survivors, compiling a database of offenders, and telling the world what too many have remained silent about.
Predators maintain power by creating doubt around the credibility of their victims. They are strategic in both how they present themselves and who they target.
Disclosing abuse by a pastor doesn’t “hurt” the church, or “harm” the testimony of the Gospel. It actually brings much needed truth and light into the church, and is a sobering reminder that the Gospel is all about Jesus, not a “beloved” church leader.
Informing a reported victim that her abuse disclosures against a church leader won’t be considered unless she directly confronts him before a committee is not only ignorant and asinine, but it’s abusive and wrong.
In contrast to many law firms or for-profit investigation agencies, GRACE is firmly dedicated to the pursuit of truth, meaningful independence, and the facilitation of healing in a manner that is trauma-informed and consistent with Christian values.
The decision to report sexual abuse to the authorities shouldn't be based solely upon whether or not the statute of limitations has expired - that is a legal decision that will ultimately be made by a prosecutor or judge. Reporting the crime always exposes the perpetrator.
"The resolution of an abuse of power cannot be an insistence that communities trust a single person in a position of power to handle the complaint correctly. Such concentration of power can easily lead to a mishandling of complaints." -Shira M. Berkovits
GRACE is hopeful that a number of actions taken at the SBC annual meeting may lead to meaningful reform. These resolutions, though, do not actually achieve reform--the hard work comes in implementing change. Every church will have to make sure all of its abuse prevention 1/4
“The grace of God is not proven by the foolishness of allowing perpetrators to serve in places where they can abuse again.”
—
@JustinHolcomb
#ValuedConf
GRACE has prepared a statement highlighting five reforms we have long advocated for--reforms that every denomination, every seminary, every church, and every Christian should work for. It is by our fruits that we will be known (Matthew 7:16-20).
It's published! This article was just published in the journal Currents in Theology and Mission. It looks at our understanding of trauma and how that understanding impacts the way we interact with each other.
Read it here -
We cannot just assume that someone in a position of leadership is there because they have earned it and have proven trustworthy.
It's okay to ask tough questions of leadership. Good leadership will welcome accountability.
_______
#Accountability
#EndAbuse
#StopAbuse
"Abusers in faith communities know that from the earliest of ages, children are taught to 'respect and obey' those in authority. This propels these offenders to actively work themselves into leadership positions in churches and other faith based organizations." Boz Tchividjian
Labeling an investigation “independent” doesn’t make it so. When the motivation for an investigation is self-preservation, it will often be labeled as “independent” and “transparent”, when in fact it is it “internal” and “classified”.
Thank you for a great weekend at the
@ValuedConf
! To everyone who attended and watched, we are grateful to have learned from you, are excited to walk alongside you, and look forward—with hope—to a Church free from abuse.
__________
#ValuedConf
THREAD: In times when telling the truth can get you killed, imprisoned, harassed, or ostracized, journalists know better than most the price of pursuing truth—and what happens in a society when we ignore evil.
That is why GRACE wants to thank the team at The Star-Telegram.
Christians...are sexual abuse survivors in our churches more or less likely to disclose their abuse today than two weeks ago before the Kavanaugh hearing? What messages have our words and social media posts communicated to those suffering in silence in our midst?
"I have never had to tell a Christian abuse survivor ‘you need to start thinking about forgiveness.’ Why on earth would you cut down a wounded person like that?"
—
@JustinHolcomb
#valuedconf
[Spiritual] abuse may include: manipulation and exploitation, enforced accountability, censorship of decision making, requirements for secrecy and silence, coercion to conform, [and] control through the use of sacred texts or teaching (Lisa Oakley, 2018).
Predators are not the only ones who shame. Anyone who ignores, disbelieves, or marginalizes the voices of survivors will too often shame these brave souls into silence.
__________
#EndAbuseEverwhere
As we respond to abuse disclosures, our focus should mirror that of the Good Samaritan. We must filter every decision with this question: How does this decision protect and care for the victim?
This is a hard quote to read. Quotes like this show us just how calculated offenders can be; counting on the ways people easily brush others aside.
Jesus did not brush others aside. He pulled them close and listened.
_________
#OffenderTactics
#Abuse
#StopAbuse
#Victimization
We are excited to announce the launch of our new website! Our focus is expanding beyond child sexual abuse and our resources are easier to find.
Check it out!
#EndAbuseEverywhere
“We must never respond to one’s trauma story by reducing trauma to an experience you can simply get over by the push of a mental button.”
—Dr. Diane Langberg
__________
#EndAbuseEverywhere
This has been a very painful day for many survivors having been triggered by what they witnessed in a Senate hearing room. May these amazing souls be comforted and loved by those around them...and may they end this difficult day with hope for tomorrow.
Too often, we see churches and organizations minimize what an abuser has done and jump to immediate forgiveness which plays right into what the offender wants. This is not what God calls us to do or how we bring light into our communities and honor survivors.
#IntoTheLight
Informing your congregation about past sexual abuse by a church leader is not the time for standing ovations for the abuser or patronizing statements about the abused.
CBN News EXCLUSIVE: The Pedophile in the Pulpit: How a Respected Pastor Abused Hundreds of Children for 40 Years, and No One Knew
Featuring
@JimmyHinton12
and his family’s story, with GRACE Executive Director
@BozT
.
A truth-teller disturbs, alerts, wakens, and warns against indifference to injustice and complacency about the needs of human beings.
—Dr. Diane Langberg
What voices are we listening to?
__________
#EndAbuseEverywhere
"What happened to you was not your fault. You are not to blame. You did not deserve it. You did not ask for this. You should not be silenced. You are not worthless. You do not have to pretend like nothing happened. Nobody had the right to violate you. 1/3
Most people are terrible at detecting deception. Rather than trying to "read" people, we must set up environments where safeguarding policies are embraced and those who neglect policies are held accountable. Link to APA research here -->
“Beyond the investigation, an organization needs to be doing what it can to shift the culture,” (Boz T.) said. “Talk about these matters repeatedly, publicly. Talk about how you don’t care who it is, no one in leadership is beyond accountability."
In my experience prosecuting and supervising thousands of sexual crimes, I never encountered a victim who misidentified a perpetrator she knew. The misidentification argument is a red herring attempt to discredit Dr. Ford.
@BozT
“When people use, “whoever is free of sin cast the first stone” as a reason for not calling out the transgressions of a system, they forget that Jesus was saving a woman who was about to be killed by that system. And that statement saved her life.” ~
@HappySonship
When faced with abuse allegations within the church, the leadership must decide early on whether its primary objective is the protection of the church, or the care of victim/s and the search for truth. That critical decision will determine the heart and soul of the church.
Friday, Aug. 11th, GRACE is hosting a 4-hour virtual training event designed to equip leaders and laypeople with a deep understanding of trauma and its impact, as well as a practical application of Trauma-Informed Care principles.
Learn more & register
One of the best ways to serve survivors is to simply be their friend and listen. This does not mean we pity them or make them our special project. It means we spend time with them, laugh with them, cry with them, and support them.
__________
#EndAbuseEverywhere
The way a church responds to a victim's disclosure of abuse can become a source of significant healing, encouragement, and hope or of deep and lasting pain, confusion, and emotional/spiritual injury. Tune in today for this important conversation -->
Pastors who understand their inadequacies in dealing with the complexities of child sexual abuse serve survivors well by connecting them with trained and experienced professionals.
If social injustice perpetrated in the name of religion drove Jesus to turn over tables and take out the whips in the temple, what is His response to the sexual abuse of children perpetrated by church leaders?
Instructing clergy abuse victims to focus on their own sins and to let God deal with their abuser is one way church leaders silence and shame victims, while empowering those who hurt them.
Dr. Diane Langberg, a clinical psychologist with over 35-years of counseling trauma victims, shares insights into the scourge of abuse in the place it should never be found.
Abuse is antithetical to a marriage relationship. Faith leaders must be outspoken in naming this, denouncing abusers, and supporting women who need to leave an abusive spouse. (Religion and Intimate Partner Violence, Nason-Clark et al.)
The conviction of Bill Cosby is a hope-filled reminder that those with power, money, and influence can and must be held accountable for abusing, exploiting, and destroying anyone, especially those who have less power, money, and influence.
Churches cannot make serious progress in prevention until the whole community understands what abuse is, how abusers operate, and clear expectations for conduct and accountability. Jesus said we must be "wise as serpents."
Abusers want to control the narrative and will set themselves up in a position to do just that.
As the Church we must understand and acknowledge this in order to help prevent it from happening as it has so many times before.
_____
#powerdynamics
Churches and ministries need to break the silence surrounding abuse and create space to lament injustice, hurt, and sorrow. Show the congregation you value and listen to survivors.
Arguing that we shouldn’t form an opinion about reported abuse because we “don’t have all the facts” is analogous to
refusing to tell your kids to stay inside after hearing news of an alleged murderer on the loose because we “don’t have all the facts.”
"The power of God in us always exposes sin without concern about institutions, organizations, fame, status, or theological knowledge. There is no hope of healing, of treatment for the cancer of abuse, without exposure."
—Dr. Diane Langberg
__________
#EndAbuseEverywhere
How we respond to abuse disclosures is one of the most important ways we demonstrate value and love to those who have been abused. A protocol that follows the law and places the needs of the survivor first is needed in every church.
It is all tragedy, but the second shouldn't be happening at all. When evil happens, we must respond by calling out that evil and bringing it into the light. End the cycle of retraumatization.
#MLK
#IntoTheLight
#EndAbuse
#MartinLutherKingJrDay
“Anger is not a sin. It’s actually a really good response to being sinned against. Justice and holiness is who God is. God is angrier than you are.”
—Justin Holcomb
__________
#AngerIsNotASin
#SAAM
#EndAbuseEverywhere
Announcement:
GRACE will be hosting a live stream event on Saturday, April 25th at 3:30pm EST on Facebook. Please visit to learn more and to let us know you'll be joining us!
#Announcement
#LiveStream
#Safeguarding
#StopAbuse
For the sake of tens of thousands of children who silently suffer sexual abuse each year, churches must educate themselves and create policies that acknowledge indicators of abuse so they can respond appropriately.
#EndAbuseEverywhere
#StopAbuse
#Policy
#ChildAbusePrevention
“The notion that forgiveness means silence not only goes against scripture but also the law. The consequences of ignoring reality to promote fake grace are unspeakable.”
We can tell the focus of an organization is not godly if it prioritizes reputations above the safety of the vulnerable.
It matters when we stand with the vulnerable, especially when it's inconvenient, painful, and isolating.
__________
#EndAbuseEverywhere
A survivor's story does not have to "qualify" as valid by following a certain standard. We must stop toxic and silencing responses to people who come forward about abuse.
________
#DearSurvivor
#IntoTheLight
#EndAbuse
Too many leaders are only quick to condemn abuse when it’s the popular thing to do and when it doesn’t involve their own institution or friends. This type of selective and dishonest condemnation empowers abusers and trivializes abuse.
When churches create a culture of silence around abuse, predators feel safe and those who may be vulnerable don't know how or when to speak up. Jesus addressed abuse, the Church should too.
#SpeakUp
#Comment
#Retweet
#EndAbuse
#EndSilence
to coordinate spiritual care with evidence-based mental health and medical care. Every Christian, at every turn, will need to hold offenders accountable and speak up for the "least of these" (Mt. 25:40). The true test comes once the media moves on, and only God is watching. 3/4
If you are a survivor of abuse who has been spiritually hurt and is reluctant, even afraid to return to church, you are not alone. -Victor Vieth
__________________
#YouAreNotAlone
#EndAbuseEverywhere
Many abuse survivors never disclose abuse during their lifetime. Fostering trauma-informed faith communities is important for the survivors who have shared about their abuse and the survivors who may never share.
Quote from Patience Mason (The Post-Traumatic Gazette, 1995, 1).
God calls his people to "weep with those who weep." (Romans 12:15) The most basic way to support and love those experiencing trauma and tragedy is to work diligently to create an environment of safety (physical, emotional, and spiritual).
Abuse is antithetical to a marriage relationship.
Faith leaders must be bold in naming these realities, denouncing abusers, and supporting women who need to leave an abusive spouse. (Religion and Intimate Partner Violence, Nason-Clark et al.)
The combination of ignorance and arrogance of church leaders when responding to abuse disclosures will reap disastrous consequences in the lives of victims and in the life of the church...every time.
PTSD (Post Traumatic Stress Disorder) is a normal result of abuse. Today is PTSD Awareness day, so take some time to learn more and find resources for yourself or those around you.
Resources:
_______
#PTSDAwarenessDay
#PTSDAwareness
#SurvivorCare