Christopher Mac 🦭
@motherquoter
Followers
5,783
Following
2,687
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Statuses
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never not flopping | unproductive artist & writer 🏳️🌈
New York City
Joined June 2010
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The Beyhive naming the Cowboy Carter horse today
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I hate that Mean Girls The Musical The Movie flopped because Legally Blonde The Musical The Movie would've saved lives and now it'll never get made
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I just matched with a man whose Hogwarts house was in his bio, so I asked wtf that's all about only to find out it did not in fact say hufflepuff, it said huffpost...where he works
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I don't usually dunk on people, but I have never seen anything less homemade (I will absolutely be deleting this)
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Waking up at 8am Waking up at 8am
on the weekend on a weekday
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I just explained the plot of Dear Evan Hansen to my mother and she goes, "Oh you probably would've loved it back in high school—you didn't have any friends either"
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There's nothing I hate more than a movie tie-in book cover
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It's meeting And then
the man of meeting his
my dreams beautiful wife
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@Variety
Example number infinity of how the criminal justice system is rigged in favor of the rich and powerful
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Your password must be at least 8 characters including a lowercase letter, an uppercase letter, a number, a special character, a cow as white as milk, a cape as red as blood, a slipper as pure as gold, and hair as yellow as corn
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Getting laid off is the worst thing to ever happen to my mental health and the best thing to ever happen to my prostate health
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"Y'all already know who I am"
Thank you for your kind wishes and continued support over the last two months.
Wishing everyone a Happy Mother's Day. C
📸 The Prince of Wales, 2024
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My boyfriend keeps calling it This Is Us instead of The Last of Us and I can't stop thinking about what that would be like
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"I know I've seen you oot and aboot, when I used to go oot...your candle's oot"
—Canadian 'Rent'
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My boyfriend is watching every season of Drag Race for the first time and called to tell me Maddy Morphosis is exactly his type which is the craziest way of finding out I'm not my boyfriend's type
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Saltburn is a perfectly imperfect movie 10/10 lots of notes
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If I lived anywhere near Atlanta, I'd be in the background of every MCU movie. They'd write Fandom pages about me. I'd be more famous than this legend
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I get it he baked them!!! I'm sorry 😭😭😭 now let me go back to getting 300 views
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RIP the Likes tab, specifically those of alt accounts. You were the backbone of Gay Twitter
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If you read HMD as "Horse Meat Disco" instead of "Happy Memorial Day" today, you might be eligible for compensation
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It's crazy how my first boyfriend and I used to f-ck in his two-door Nissan compact and now I can barely touch my toes
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Gays who post their tight holes and fat poles on here complaining about being perpetually single is so funny to me like—it must be your personality then babes 💕
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When you get back from a week away with your family and can finally j*** o**
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@DiscussingFilm
Good! The funniest comedies come from the analytics & marketing department anyway!
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@DiscussingFilm
This isn't that hard to figure out. Their contracts were up and CBS didn't want to pony up. The Netflix model is spreading (i.e. everything and everyone is replaceable because the only thing that matters is profit)
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@DiscussingFilm
Luca, Turning Red, and Soul were amazing, but all post-pandemic releases suffered at the box office. Even Lightyear was a flop. Disney needs to reinvest in theatrical releases and market their films to wider audiences instead of relying of streaming revenue
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When you’re gay and go to urgent care for something as unrelated to sex as an ear infection, one thing you can always count on is the doctor ordering a comprehensive STI panel then promptly leaving without even looking at your ear
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@FilmUpdates
Renewing something almost a decade after it filmed is the most British thing ever. Gives me hope for a new season of Sherlock!
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@Variety
Saying basically “Shut up and dribble!” to a former TV star when you yourself are a former TV star is *chef's kiss*
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*Janet Jackson's All For You comes on*
11-year-old me singing along: "Got a nice package alright, guess I'm gonna have to ride it tonight"
My mother:
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@BaharOstadan
I will never understand people who commute in their work clothes 🙅♂️🙅♂️🙅♂️
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Take it from an early middle aged gay man, just leave the bottle of lube out. If someone sees it, chances are they're probably there to use it
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Azealia Banks calling Joe Alwyn today
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I got laid off today 😭😭😭 (I'm fine tho) so now my job is actually just beach
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Me pulling my boyfriend's pants down after he's been gone for 11 days
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Me during the day: "Why do I follow so much porn on here???"
Me at night: ***furiously beating off***
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@FilmUpdates
River Phoenix would have NEVER dropped out! He would've been throwing neck for Todd Haynes
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I will never get over this scene from The White Lotus 😭😭😭 RIP Tanya McQuoid
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I'm not in finance, don't have a trust fund, nor am I 6'5, but I do have incredibly blue eyes
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@gagatondra
It's no wonder! Y'all forget how merciless fans of other queens were after her win? Sasha kept it classy though, and she just wrote a great article in WaPo yesterday everyone should go read 🗞
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@FilmUpdates
In hindsight Blake getting a Taylor song cleared for the trailer was inevitable and so perfect
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RIP to my exes, you would’ve loved the person our breakup forced me to become
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MEN. CAN. NOT. GIVE. YOU. STARS. AND THE MOON. AND A SOUL TO GUIDE YOU. AND A PROMISE TO NEVER GO.
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We as gay people get to choose which social media accounts our families don't even know exist
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@moorehn
Don't forget cinephiles who recognize Justin's horrible acting as the reason why The Social Network lost Best Picture!
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@vulture
Exposé is one of the great bottle episodes of television alongside Beach House from Girls. Nikki and Paulo, I would never ignore you
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How y'all look drinking iced coffee in this weather
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I did some digging and Stanley Tucci has played no less than 7 🌈🌈🌈 characters, but who's counting!!!
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Nothing more harrowing than catching your own deprived reflection in the jet black background of that loading screen. Wouldn't wish it on my worst enemies
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Us role playing in a last-ditch effort to save our relationship
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@PopCrave
The enemy of your enemy is also your enemy or something like that idk I didn't go to school for math
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