puking blood into competing MASKLESS in a public smash bros tournament might be one of the most out of touch things you can do in 2022
actually fucking crazy lmao
at goml i went to the washroom and there were 3 urinals; one occupied by zain, one occupied by jmook, and a free one sandwiched between them
i pulled up to the free one and said “wow this is the most stacked urinals of all time eh” and let me tell you the silence was deafening
whatever i’m annoyed
melee has some of the most bitchmade top players
too big of an ego to play mains on ranked
throwing tantrums over ranks
not supporting locals and expecting them to support you
going airplane mode peace
dude i explicitly fucking told the TO that i had a fucking tinder date at noon and they put me in a fucking 12pm pool just do your fucking job properly man FUCK
stream made me buy a shirt that said “fish love me, women fear me - because i fuck the fish” but the first part somehow didn’t get printed on
so now i own a shirt that literally just says “because i fuck the fish” and nothing else
sad to go out like that but can’t be too bummed, proud of myself for the mental changes im making towards competition
ggs ggs, 3rd at genesis 9
see everyone at summit :)
in 2014 i watched the smash documentary and 3 weeks later i went to the 1st goml as my 1st event as a 14 year old kid
wish i won today but i’d be lying if i said it wasn’t a dream come true to finally feel like i provided something to the scene/event that made me love melee
<3
14 years to the month that my mom passed away
my dad only messages me when he needs money for booze and ghosts me after it’s sent
everything i accomplish is “a fluke” or “luck”
every failure was “just a matter of time”
people wonder why i am how i am, that is why
just shit
therapys busted man
thought about killing myself every day this year but i just havent at all the past couple weeks
i had no melee motivation for the past 2 years but recently i could just grind all day as if i just started playing for the first time
JUST WANT TO SAY
@jakedirado
IS THE BIGGEST SWEETHEART ON THE PLANET
he saw i was having a shitty ass time during the holidays and him and his family sent me a huge care package
they gave me a controller case, a moky stitched blanket, a lil doggy and moose munch
TYTY <3
my most embarrassing moment happened at the big house 10
i went to dinner with like 15 of my mods/people in my community and tried to be a gigachad hotshot streamer and pay the bill for everyone as a thanks for supporting me
but the debit machine didn’t take canadian cards…
no matter what happens today i’m happy with my run
this is my third top 8 in a row and have been able to play with a clear mind which feels amazing
not bad for an online warrior
yo i am a free agent
i am:
-a top melee player
-a p cool dude
-5'6"
looking for a nice team to make the dream work 😳
email kurtismokypratt
@outlook
.com or dm me here (pls)
context:
it had been 2 hours and zain hadnt been able to take a game off my grannie so people started saying they'd gift him subs if he did
then this wack ass glitch happened
then all this happened LMAO
all of my friends, income, & entire livelihood are due to melee
without melee i have literally nothing & i know im not the only one
its unbelievably fucked that nintendo goes out of their way to kill our community time and time again when its helped so many people
#freemelee
don’t care if i have to put up with hundreds more hbox fans telling me to kill myself in the dms im gonna keep taunting and you can suck my gigantic cock
dude stood up and wore sunglasses to get into peoples heads im just hitting up on the dpad brother
onto losers
i had to ban one of my mods, they stopped tuning in when i showed support to everything thats been happening and were constantly RTing bigotry since. i want to make this clear
if you support the police/gov during all of this dont support me, i dont want anything to do with you
my favourite thing about adin ross fans trying to roast me was that they see the 5'6 in my bio and think its the raddest dunk
it would take like a second of scrolling my profile to find something that would make me act a fool yet they always choose the thing i meme myself lmao
also just gonna say again hbox wears glasses and stands up, i taunt and teabag. who fucking cares lmao
it’s a competition, neither matter and if you seriously spend your time arguing over which is worse please get some friends lmao
gonna go get drunk and enjoy my night
pce
my highest placement last year was 7th
my lowest placements this year are one 9th place, and then 5th or higher at everything else
people said i was only good vs fox, then only good online, then not top 10 and i proved them wrong
now for the people who say i cant win a major
whatever while people are already mad at me let me go the full mile
melee is cringe rn and whether it is sandbagging, gloating about how little you practice, or just not showing up at all it has truly been a displeasure competing with a lot of you this year
gl in bracket tho :D
at mangos bootcamp i was piss drunk & thought i clogged the toilet since some TP didnt flush
i plunged the toilet for 5 minutes but being hunched over that long made me puke
turns out it wasnt clogged & i just didnt hold the flusher down long enough
anyways ty for hosting mang
was supposed to take the month off to stream and relax but saw hbox ranked me like shit once again so im going to apex last minute
remember what happened last time bitch hope we dont play in bracket LMAOOOO
Zain is so much more of a man than I am. Zain gets off, I get out. Zain ejaculates, I evacuate. Zain nails, I bail. Zain rams, I scram. Zain skeets, I tweet
after collision think im taking a long melee break
busted my ass and then covid hit and couldnt netplay
busted my ass when i get better internet but everyone writes it off
busted my ass and qualified for summit but now thats gone
been 4 years in a row of the same shit, pce
i have my hinge height set as 5’7 and i got ghosted by a random match back in may but she made sure to message me today to ask “btw aren’t you actually 5’6”” god please strike me dead us short kings do not deserve this
charlie absolutely cooking sneako’s ass on twitter while simultaneously watching my super smash brothers melee run this weekend is wild shit i have never been happier to be on moist
qualifying for summit 8 was literally the only reason i decided not to retire and keep trying to make it as a top player. wouldnt be here without bts
attending summit was a rite of passage for someone trying to make a career in smash
gutting news, thanks to bts for everything
the idea of banning FoD always tilts me
i go there vs flowchart ass motherfuckers because they suck ass and cant play outside of their box, a little jank is worth letting people play to their strengths imo
it’s easily the most interesting stage, banning it would be a huge L
Alright, I'm stirring the pot today.
FoD has more RNG than unfrozen PS and it blows my mind that our first change to the stage list in years isn't to ban the more problematic stage.
The plats can rise and fall at completely random and unpredictable times. A few clips below:
rewatched my set with mango and truly think it was such a good set
bummed i lost but just happy to be in a spot to make memorable moments with this game
can only hope for more
i literally apologized to moist after almost every tournament in 2022 because i felt like i was letting both myself and the org down with my performances
extremely happy they believed in me and i was able to put together a great 2023, here’s to many more years :)
@MoistEsports
TO THE COUPLE WHO RECOGNIZED ME AT THE GROCERY STORE HOPE U HAVE A NUTS NIGHT WITH THAT WINE
MY B IF I WAS AWKWARD IVE NEVER HAD THAT HAPPEN BEFORE
BTW THAT PLACE HAS SOME BOMB ASS BUFFALO WING CHIPS IF YOURE EVER IN THE MARKET FOR IT SHIT IS MUCHO BUENO 10/10 I RECOMMEND
if im honest im not even a documentary kid im a dylan sprouse kid
dude tweeted about project m the night they added mewtwo i would not be playing melee if not for downloading pm that night on god
can’t be too bummed, couldn’t get myself to stop playing stupid in a few spots but think that’s the best zain has played against me in tournament
last year i got 3rd and i was the underdog and now i’m expected to make it there. excited to win one soon
4th place at genesis x :)