Sukari Nguru
@missnguru
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Here for the banter. I drink wine 🍷 And watch Formula 1 🏎️
Niko Area
Joined August 2016
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Pinned Tweet
I'll really miss you. 💔
So so so much❤️.
Forever in my heart P.😓
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He was faceless on this bird app. He posted his photo. Sent his picture to his DM with "kumbe unakuanga umeiva?"
We met on the 31st same month. At the date I told him "ujuange sifanyangi talking stage."💀💀
It's been a great 17 months.
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There's this babe on tiktok called Yvonne.(Kenyan but has lived in the US for quite some time)
The first time alienda naivas she bought groceries za 24,000. The comments section were up in arms😭😂😂. Today she's done house shopping worth 75K. The comments section is chaos😂😂
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No matter how hard adulting is,I'm just glad I'm not in high school. Because those were the most traumatic 4 years of my entire life.
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DOCUMENT EVERYTHING! Even if they call you, recap everything either on an email or slack or whatever! "Following our discussion on phone..."
It will save you!
What is a Corporate Survival Skill you wish you had known sooner?
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"They will not believe"
"Aura for Aura"
"Leta number tumsalimie"
Iconic! 🤣🤣. I love these three lines so much!
#RejectFinanceBill2024
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Born to say "Na usinisumbue Tena" forced to say "Please don't hesitate to reach out".
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One thing about me, I'll apply for that job with one qualification.
"Bora mmeniona" is my forever motto.
And I think I'm where I am because I have such big audacity.
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Someone just hacked my
@StanChartKE
card and wiped all my money.
I have my card with me.
Defund this day
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Ni mimi pale high school nilikuwa natembea nikiambia watu wanichangie Chai juu nilihata? 😭😭
Gherrooo! That was high school! The gheroooo!
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I dressed nicely, beat my face and took photos outside the house. 😊
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I don't know who said these words but I've read something that says "You settle for things because you think there's a shortage of what you want. There's not. The job, r/ship, the life, the peace, the wealth. It's available. Choose it over the familiar " and yoh🤯
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Dear Kenyan High Schools, if a student says they are unwell, release them... If you feel it's truancy... That's the doctor to determine.... Not your sanatoriums and pink medicines that are taking away the lives of students.
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Leo a man told me "I'm a little bit married"
Aaah men some things are unnecessary 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂👐🏾👐🏾👐🏾👐🏾
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"I taught myself English by watching Ellen DeGeneres Shows"
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My mom is making chapos and my dad walked right into the kitchen and said "naskia unapika biscuits"
Eeh?😭😭😭💀💀💀💀
I've scrome!
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Whenever I pass through Westlands/Waiyaki way, I say silent prayers because organisations I want to work for,sit in those areas🥺
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My sibling,15, got into my nerves the other day and I told him "at times you really annoy me"
Akanishow, "this is a training ground. Ndio the men you're always seeing wasikushtue"
I HATE THIS BOY 😭😭😭😭😭😭😂😂😂😂😂😂😂🚮🚮🚮🚮🚮🚮
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"I learnt English by watching Ellen DeGeneres videos."
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If the first instinct your mom has when you wear a short dress is to think HER OWN HUSBAND, WHOM SHE CHOSE TO GET MARRIED TO BY THE WAY, would get attracted to you or assault you... then you're not the problem neither is the outfit... your mom's choice of husband is wrong!
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Being interested in your girl's reproductive health
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Physics students were so full of themselves. The way they'd carry calculators, 25 pencils, log table, alafu wanapanga line nje ya lab looking all serious like they are about to meet Isaac Newton for a meeting 😂😂!
Anyway I was a physics student too! 😂😂
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I can’t watch them dance and not think of Chimano saying "Savara anastruggle" 😂😂😂😂😂😂
#MidnightTrain
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High Tea Experience
📍Fairmont The Norfolk.
We spent Ksh. 4,000 for two people.
This particular package didn't have a glass of champagne.
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Dear girl,
If I buy a tee at LC Waikiki and you buy yours at Bs. And you ask me how much it cost and I tell you, and you go like " uligongwa, hii T-shirt bs Ni 50 bob" Listen, I know. I don't care. And shut up!
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I wouldn't go back to high school for anything🙃
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When you leave to go buy bread and actually come back with bread instead of finding yourself in Naivasha with slippers.
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Njeri Wa Nguru
Kikuyu babesssssss
Si we do your thread
Ya'all are usually mad beautiful
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Cheee! I was in a situweishen with some guy recently. So we had met up at Java ya mbagathi Wei( mgez Shule yake😂💀) to talk about issues. Sasa, after talking alinishow tukiwa parking "Si unajua ningekufungulilia mlango Lakini wewe Ni raia sasa"
😂😂💀💀
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We really were beaten up for Joka Jok, Jok Owiny ,Jok Omollo.
Wow!
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In high school There were some books we didn't even bother knowing their names . The authors name was just significant!
Nisaidie Na Patel.
Or
Nisaidie na C. Muturi
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If a man tells you this, "currently I'm not in the right head space to be in a relationship... Right now I'm working on myself..."
Sis, this is coded statement for "it's not you that I want"
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Did you even go to an 844 high school if you didn't have people who constantly said that the class was divided and we needed to be united?
Chronicles manzee 😂 😂 😂
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If I tell you you hurt me and you give me a response such as "Gosh hio Ni kitu kidogo ya kukujamisha" I am here to tell you
YOU ARE NOT THE ONE TO DETERMINE MY DEGREE OF HURT. STOP BEING A SHITTY PERSON AND APOLOGIZE!!!
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Men wash their cars twice a week, but carpet ya nyumba is where they draw the line😂😂😂
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Cirry gyelz!!!!
Mnakumbuka mkikatia these lads wakituvalia supra Na Arafat Na Sisi pale Na gladiators Na carrot jeans 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭
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Before I start I haf to prway..... Father lord-ah innn the mirrry neim of Jesus....
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I entered out today....🥺😍
I am looking like a peng ting too😍
Also, I have new hair😍😊
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You might have travelled as just friends 😂😂😂. Alafu Maasai blanket , moto na good conversations zinabadilisha everything 😂😂😂😂😂😂
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Guys who use their real name on their social media handles >>>>>>>>>>>😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍
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My sibling just came to tell me I buy him a success card he wants to give a girl! 😂😂😂😂
Nimeuliza her name nikaambiwa "It's too early for you to know" this boy is 14.
Anyway tomorrow I'm buying a big one! Must let the young Queen prosper! ❤️❤️❤️
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Sometimes I'm tempted to ask the prefects of my year in high school "what was that all about?" But warrevs.
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Ukianza kuskia nikama unaforce issues jua tu unaforce.
~someone 2019~
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This dress. This one.🥺🥰
Ladies, send me photos of y'all in your favorite dresses this year pls 🥺
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1. Ya'll like to date the idea of the person and not the actual person.
2. We have normalized cheating .
3. We confuse compatibility with similarity
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You remember when Your boyfie used to tell you "My mom has seen me text you, she says hi" unaskia ushakuwa Bibi 😂😂😂😂
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No waaayyyyyy!!?
We are being governed by WAR LORDS!
This is actually sick! Live bullets?
#RejectFinanceBill2024
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Lmao....
Naona mkisema we are happy juu wamefutwa.
Did you see their confidence when they spoke on radio about women being loose after someone was violated?
Same energy!
Every action has an EQUAL and opposite reaction! It's the law!
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8 year old preparing to sing
"do me I do you my nogovess step on the dance floor my nogovess"
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Guys hii August imepita niliambiwa hivi "For now we're just friends who love each other"
Anyway awards za clowning Ni when?
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Hair in a bun
Minimal accessories
Statement dress
Theme: Elegance 🥂
📍Graze Steakhouse
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Okay. Flaqo's content is where it's at!!! From the editing. To how he plays the role of Otis, Baba Otis, Min Otis, and that uncle and makes it look like there are several people in the room!!! Love it!!!
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Today I have shown up and showed out!!!
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Burying your age mate when you're young is a different kind of pain💔. Through it all you're just in denial and thinking "life was not supposed to pan out like this"
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Hii salsa hair tulishuka 2008 ndio man mnacharge 7000 bab?🥴
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Hey guys,
I've just called AAR Kiambu Road to inquire about Covid tests.
They rapid test one costs Ksh. 2500.
You get your results after an hour.
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It's the accent for me that children develop after watching Peppa Pig😭😭😭😭😂😂😂😂
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Ngong Road has been under construction since I was 10!
😭😭😂😂
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My folks are my heros! But since my dad is the only one on twitter, I'll write it here! I'll write to mom on app.
My dad
@Steve_Nguru
is my hero! I remember as a kid even before my brother was born, every Friday, we'd have something called "Miondoko". It was where my dad....
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Chimano's pants.
Chimano's aura.
Chimano's Coat.
Chimano!!!!!!!!That's the tweet.
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I did it!
I am so happy with the outcome!
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Watuz,
What are some of your favourite Kenyan proverbs you'd print on a
T-shirt?
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If you're having a bad day just know the person in the middle is me. 😪💔
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Is it just me who feels pity for house managers that work on Sunday? She's been taking care of your kid from Monday to Saturday. Alafu this uniform thing applies even on Sundays? Then you make her sit on a different table from you guys? GIVE YOUR NANNIES OFF DAYS!
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