Minkoff
@mink_off
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Following
352
Media
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Statuses
6,606
actually, no that’s not the truth Ellen, you were invited she/her
KC ➡️ Chicago (by way of Alabama)
Joined April 2010
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last night when I was drunk I made a list of reasons why I’m mad a men as a whole. Pls see number 6
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Heather: I’ve never been kissed, but I don’t want that to define me
Bachelor producers: yes, got it, definitely
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My emotions the second someone tries to get close to me:
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Having to actually come up with a personality that doesn’t involve Alabama bulldozing its way into the playoffs every year
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Me: a terrible human being Also me: an actual angel sent from heaven above
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Nick Saban purposely losing the natty so that the team didn’t have to eat fast food at the White House is the definition of chess not checkers. The mind...
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Me about Ohio state: Ohio state sucks
Me when alabama needs Ohio state to win: Urban Meyer is my literal dad! O-H-I-O for life!! Bucky the fuck down!!!!
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Me after accomplishing nothing I set out to do today:
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Christmas with the Kranks is a top tier Christmas movie. I will not be taking any questions at this time.
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In case it’s not clear, I would still die for Nick Saban. Thank u next
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I know it’s not important, but I will be sleeping easier knowing that we will be having a bachelorette that I know loves and respects the tide
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I will be thinking about one direction all day today but, to be clear, this is no different than any other day
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Me:
Spotify Unwrapped: “Are you in the right headspace to receive information that could possibly hurt you?”
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watching tiger woods overcome the adversity he created for himself is inspiration for fuckboys and messy bitches everywhere
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And on this day we celebrate the birth of our lord and savior Saint Nicholas Saban
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This is the worst night of my life, and I’m including the time I got robbed at gun point
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I faked pretending to have appendicitis at sleep away camp because they wouldn’t let me call my parents. Spent 7 hours in the hospital faking extreme pain even though I felt completely fine only to find out I actually had appendicitis and was hours away from rupturing
What is your most on brand story from your childhood?
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I've have been more promptly and aggressively escorted out of Innisfree for trying to use the men's restroom than the terrorists storming the capitol
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It’s been a week since lolla and I still haven’t stopped thinking about this boy swiping through tinder while at
@KaceyMusgraves
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post your angry tweets, but first DONATE!!!!! And contact your elected officials!
Breaking: Alabama Senate just passed a total abortion ban in the state.
@NARAL
is raising money for
@YellowFund
an abortion fund to help women facing this dangerous and demeaning law. Help us help them. Donate here!
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@965TheBuzz
1. Dark horse - nickelback
2. Dark horse - nickelback
3. Dark horse - nickelback
4. Dark horse - nickelback
5. Dark horse - nickelback
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Holocaust/Anti Semitic jokes are never appropriate or funny and this is why.
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Cultural impact of the degrassi “shark in the water” promo > the Beatles entire discography
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On a scale of 1 to learning Glenn Howerton is anti vax, how bad was your day?
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why do sorority girls do a better job of hiding alcohol in an Instagram than these government officials trying to hide their non-kosher lobster lmao
Antes da final da Copa América entre Brasil e Peru, o presidente
@jairbolsonaro
e o
@embaixadoryossi
almoçaram juntos em Brasília. Eles irão acompanhar a partida desejando sorte para a seleção brasileira em busca de mais um título. Vai Brasil!!
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College football playoff selection committee, this is alexis neiers calling. I’m calling to let you know how disappointed I am...
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Colton loses his virginity one time and all of a sudden thinks he can rock a fuck boi haircut
#TheBachelorFinale
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Unfortunately I’ve never been to Notre Dame so I can’t post a picture on Instagram to flex for likes, but I did catch my hair on fire as a child so please let me know if you would like me to post that instead
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Me, a grown adult living 12 hours away from tuscaloosa alabama after learning that Little Italy is closing
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Me when someone tells me they've never watched the what the buck show
@buckhollywood
@shutupbuck
http://t.co/s4UYAjKETE
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when you're at a standards hearing and they tell you take your instagram picture down
SEE YOU IN COURT, THE SECURITY OF OUR NATION IS AT STAKE!
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The only thing getting me through is my hope that Donald Trump will serve the super bowl winners Long John Silvers at the White House and I’ll get to see Tom Brady pretend he isn’t absolutely disgusted by a fried fish sandwich with mayonnaise
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To the girl walking to class wearing yoga pants and a long sleeve shirt: what kind of game are you playing?
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I did not come here to watch 2 fully grown adults make out fully clothed on a bed. I came here watch 1 fully grown adult man hop a fence fully clothed and I have NOT gotten what I came for!!!
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asking for a friend, would lightning mcqueen have car insurance or life insurance? this is a very urgent matter
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Nobody talk to me for the next 36 hours. I need to hit my peak state of relaxation this weekend before I am in my peak state of Alabama football related stress on Monday.
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Hannah, sis, do not let yourself get played by a jimmy neutron cosplayer
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If you stepped foot in the innisfree women’s bathroom the day of the 2017 national championship game, you do not need to worry about what’s in the covid vaccine
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A guy deciding to grow a mustache is the male equivalent of a girl getting bangs. They both want attention and need a therapist probably
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not to be dramatic, but i deadass am out of breath
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Couldn’t be me
love when people say fuck it and just have public spotify playlists with absolutely unhinged titles
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donald trump declared a state of emergency to build the wall just to ensure colton had something to jump over
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Why has Joe Biden not released his plans for allowing Bravo cameras inside of a federal prison?
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#confirmed
we’re still rich
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Can we PLEASE cut the shit with the “trump can’t be antisemitic, he has Jewish grandchildren!!” as if simply being related to a Jew gives you a free pass for not actively rejecting antisemitism
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📍Me
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📍Actual self care |
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📍Putting a single slice of lemon in my water
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Alabama with an injured quarterback only lost by 5 to a team that lil ole Clemson lost to by 17
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If you went to Alabama between 2014 - 2018 and have a picture of the beans car (you know the one), can you please send it to me
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The call is coming from inside the house...
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My Victoria’s Secret fashion show review: too many people in their underwear, not enough Harry Styles.
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I want my husband to look at me the way joe Jonas looks at Demi lovato when he realizes she's the voice
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Imagining Taylor’s list of demands for attending the chiefs game was that she can’t be filmed doing the tomahawk chop and that Jackson mahomes is not allowed within 50 feet of her
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Concept: La La Land, but instead of jazz Sebastian's passion is nickelback
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sometimes I forget the 2016 republican presidential candidate race is real and not some weird snl sketch.
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Rest in peace to my number one girly and low key love of my life, Hairy Styles the hairless rat
#youwillbemissed
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"friday I threw up in a bush outside of sigma kappa"
okay chloe 1. thats a sorority and 2. not a sorority at alabama
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Today my roommates are going to a Beyoncé concert and I am going to darty with $5 champagne. There are two types of people and I really wish I was the other type.
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I moved back in with my parents for three months and regressed into my high school form
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Every girl that did yearbook in high school has an underlying god complex to this day. I don't know how else to explain this, but it is correct
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I forgot to plug in my headphones before playing my music so now everyone in this planet fitness knows I am:
a) dumb
b) listen to Aaron’s party when I run
My social status will NEVER recover
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This is literally Ariana grande’s second engagement, so your tweets about her being engaged “more than you change your sheets” are incorrect and not funny, but also gross, please go change your sheets
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a man should also read the room
A man should be the spiritual leader in a marriage. That’s not an issue of inferiority but an issue of assignment from God.
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The little thrill of waiting for the new dental hygienist to discover my lip tattoo
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My roommate has been isolating in her room with Covid for 2 days now and the only things she’s asked me to bring her is tzatziki dip and an entire load of focaccia. Some absolute nutritional atrocities occurring in that room.
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the sexual tension between me and the nurse at urgent care when I tell him I’m allergic to latex
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Hello
@ABCNetwork
and
@BachelorABC
, if I do not see colton jumping any sort of fence in tonight's episode I will be forced to take legal action. I am very serious and have my friend who's in her first year of law school's number listed in my phone favorites ready to go
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Bold to assume that this will cancel out the damage done from drinking a four loko every weekend for 4 years straight.
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When you're 1d af and tide af but also have too much time on your hands
http://t.co/RU7LWQDZMN
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They did not just cheers to war eagle with wine glasses filled with sweet tea. I hate it here.
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For those having trouble keeping
#TheLukes
straight on
#TheBachelorette
, just remember:
- Luke S. and the S stands for "small boi"
- Luke P. and the P stands for "psychopath"
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