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Minkoff

@mink_off

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463
Following
352
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962
Statuses
6,606

actually, no that’s not the truth Ellen, you were invited she/her

KC ➡️ Chicago (by way of Alabama)
Joined April 2010
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@mink_off
Minkoff
5 years
last night when I was drunk I made a list of reasons why I’m mad a men as a whole. Pls see number 6
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@mink_off
Minkoff
6 years
Heather: I’ve never been kissed, but I don’t want that to define me Bachelor producers: yes, got it, definitely
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@mink_off
Minkoff
10 months
Me to will reichard
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@mink_off
Minkoff
7 years
watching jersey shore together
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@mink_off
Minkoff
5 years
My emotions the second someone tries to get close to me:
@realDonaldTrump
Donald J. Trump
5 years
BUILDING THE WALL!
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@mink_off
Minkoff
5 years
Having to actually come up with a personality that doesn’t involve Alabama bulldozing its way into the playoffs every year
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@mink_off
Minkoff
9 years
Me: a terrible human being Also me: an actual angel sent from heaven above
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@mink_off
Minkoff
8 years
Me thinking about rush vs me thinking about bid day
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@mink_off
Minkoff
8 years
my mama don't like you, but she doesn't even like me
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@mink_off
Minkoff
6 years
Nick Saban purposely losing the natty so that the team didn’t have to eat fast food at the White House is the definition of chess not checkers. The mind...
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@mink_off
Minkoff
7 years
Me about Ohio state: Ohio state sucks Me when alabama needs Ohio state to win: Urban Meyer is my literal dad! O-H-I-O for life!! Bucky the fuck down!!!!
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@mink_off
Minkoff
6 years
Me after accomplishing nothing I set out to do today:
@Ahmadinejad1956
Mahmoud Ahmadinejad
6 years
Had a busy day today . But I always make time for #Twitter
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@mink_off
Minkoff
4 years
Christmas with the Kranks is a top tier Christmas movie. I will not be taking any questions at this time.
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@mink_off
Minkoff
6 years
In case it’s not clear, I would still die for Nick Saban. Thank u next
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@mink_off
Minkoff
6 years
Me every time an Oklahoma player even breathes near Tua
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@mink_off
Minkoff
5 years
I know it’s not important, but I will be sleeping easier knowing that we will be having a bachelorette that I know loves and respects the tide
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@mink_off
Minkoff
4 years
I will be thinking about one direction all day today but, to be clear, this is no different than any other day
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@mink_off
Minkoff
5 years
Me: Spotify Unwrapped: “Are you in the right headspace to receive information that could possibly hurt you?”
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@mink_off
Minkoff
5 years
watching tiger woods overcome the adversity he created for himself is inspiration for fuckboys and messy bitches everywhere
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@mink_off
Minkoff
4 years
“i hope this email finds you well” how the email found me:
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@mink_off
Minkoff
8 years
there's two types of people
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@mink_off
Minkoff
9 years
And on this day we celebrate the birth of our lord and savior Saint Nicholas Saban
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@mink_off
Minkoff
6 years
This is the worst night of my life, and I’m including the time I got robbed at gun point
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@mink_off
Minkoff
5 years
I faked pretending to have appendicitis at sleep away camp because they wouldn’t let me call my parents. Spent 7 hours in the hospital faking extreme pain even though I felt completely fine only to find out I actually had appendicitis and was hours away from rupturing
@KEBrightbill
Kathryn Brightbill 🖋️
5 years
What is your most on brand story from your childhood?
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@mink_off
Minkoff
4 years
I've have been more promptly and aggressively escorted out of Innisfree for trying to use the men's restroom than the terrorists storming the capitol
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@mink_off
Minkoff
5 years
It’s been a week since lolla and I still haven’t stopped thinking about this boy swiping through tinder while at @KaceyMusgraves
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@mink_off
Minkoff
5 years
post your angry tweets, but first DONATE!!!!! And contact your elected officials!
@ilyseh
Ilyse Hogue
5 years
Breaking: Alabama Senate just passed a total abortion ban in the state. @NARAL is raising money for @YellowFund an abortion fund to help women facing this dangerous and demeaning law. Help us help them. Donate here!
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@mink_off
Minkoff
5 years
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@mink_off
Minkoff
7 years
@965TheBuzz 1. Dark horse - nickelback 2. Dark horse - nickelback 3. Dark horse - nickelback 4. Dark horse - nickelback 5. Dark horse - nickelback
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@mink_off
Minkoff
10 years
Holocaust/Anti Semitic jokes are never appropriate or funny and this is why.
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@mink_off
Minkoff
4 years
Cultural impact of the degrassi “shark in the water” promo > the Beatles entire discography
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@mink_off
Minkoff
5 years
On a scale of 1 to learning Glenn Howerton is anti vax, how bad was your day?
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@mink_off
Minkoff
5 years
why do sorority girls do a better job of hiding alcohol in an Instagram than these government officials trying to hide their non-kosher lobster lmao
@IsraelinBrazil
Israel no Brasil
5 years
Antes da final da Copa América entre Brasil e Peru, o presidente @jairbolsonaro e o @embaixadoryossi almoçaram juntos em Brasília. Eles irão acompanhar a partida desejando sorte para a seleção brasileira em busca de mais um título. Vai Brasil!!
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@mink_off
Minkoff
5 years
College football playoff selection committee, this is alexis neiers calling. I’m calling to let you know how disappointed I am...
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@mink_off
Minkoff
5 years
Colton loses his virginity one time and all of a sudden thinks he can rock a fuck boi haircut #TheBachelorFinale
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@mink_off
Minkoff
6 years
It’s thanksgiving season my dudes, let’s get this (corn) bread!!!
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@mink_off
Minkoff
5 years
Unfortunately I’ve never been to Notre Dame so I can’t post a picture on Instagram to flex for likes, but I did catch my hair on fire as a child so please let me know if you would like me to post that instead
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@mink_off
Minkoff
4 years
Me, a grown adult living 12 hours away from tuscaloosa alabama after learning that Little Italy is closing
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@mink_off
Minkoff
10 years
Me when someone tells me they've never watched the what the buck show @buckhollywood @shutupbuck http://t.co/s4UYAjKETE
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@mink_off
Minkoff
3 years
Sophie Turner understood the assignment
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@mink_off
Minkoff
7 years
when you're at a standards hearing and they tell you take your instagram picture down
@realDonaldTrump
Donald J. Trump
7 years
SEE YOU IN COURT, THE SECURITY OF OUR NATION IS AT STAKE!
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@mink_off
Minkoff
5 years
The only thing getting me through is my hope that Donald Trump will serve the super bowl winners Long John Silvers at the White House and I’ll get to see Tom Brady pretend he isn’t absolutely disgusted by a fried fish sandwich with mayonnaise
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@mink_off
Minkoff
8 years
To the girl walking to class wearing yoga pants and a long sleeve shirt: what kind of game are you playing?
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@mink_off
Minkoff
5 years
I did not come here to watch 2 fully grown adults make out fully clothed on a bed. I came here watch 1 fully grown adult man hop a fence fully clothed and I have NOT gotten what I came for!!!
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@mink_off
Minkoff
7 years
asking for a friend, would lightning mcqueen have car insurance or life insurance? this is a very urgent matter
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@mink_off
Minkoff
5 years
character development.
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@mink_off
Minkoff
6 years
Nobody talk to me for the next 36 hours. I need to hit my peak state of relaxation this weekend before I am in my peak state of Alabama football related stress on Monday.
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@mink_off
Minkoff
5 years
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@mink_off
Minkoff
5 years
Hannah, sis, do not let yourself get played by a jimmy neutron cosplayer
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@mink_off
Minkoff
8 months
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@mink_off
Minkoff
10 years
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@mink_off
Minkoff
5 years
spotify really gonna call me out like this
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@mink_off
Minkoff
4 years
If you stepped foot in the innisfree women’s bathroom the day of the 2017 national championship game, you do not need to worry about what’s in the covid vaccine
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@mink_off
Minkoff
5 years
A guy deciding to grow a mustache is the male equivalent of a girl getting bangs. They both want attention and need a therapist probably
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@mink_off
Minkoff
4 years
not to be dramatic, but i deadass am out of breath
@Harry_Styles
Harry Styles.
4 years
GOLDEN. OUT NOW.
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@mink_off
Minkoff
4 years
Couldn’t be me
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@TheBrotographer
Austin 🌊💌
4 years
love when people say fuck it and just have public spotify playlists with absolutely unhinged titles
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@mink_off
Minkoff
4 years
God when she made me a Virgo diagnosed with OCD
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@mink_off
Minkoff
3 years
I
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@mink_off
Minkoff
4 years
Megan Rapinoe said hurdle someone and Najee said got you queen
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@mink_off
Minkoff
5 years
donald trump declared a state of emergency to build the wall just to ensure colton had something to jump over
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@mink_off
Minkoff
7 years
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@mink_off
Minkoff
3 years
Why has Joe Biden not released his plans for allowing Bravo cameras inside of a federal prison?
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@mink_off
Minkoff
5 years
#confirmed we’re still rich
@Greg_Byrne
Greg Byrne
5 years
We even have color capabilities- perhaps Crimson after we score? 🐘 #RollTide
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@mink_off
Minkoff
4 years
Can we PLEASE cut the shit with the “trump can’t be antisemitic, he has Jewish grandchildren!!” as if simply being related to a Jew gives you a free pass for not actively rejecting antisemitism
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@mink_off
Minkoff
6 years
📍Me | | | _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ | 📍Actual self care | _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _| | | | 📍Putting a single slice of lemon in my water
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@mink_off
Minkoff
5 years
Alabama with an injured quarterback only lost by 5 to a team that lil ole Clemson lost to by 17
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@mink_off
Minkoff
3 years
If you went to Alabama between 2014 - 2018 and have a picture of the beans car (you know the one), can you please send it to me
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@mink_off
Minkoff
5 years
who wore it better?
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@mink_off
Minkoff
4 years
The call is coming from inside the house...
@Commanders
Washington Commanders
4 years
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@mink_off
Minkoff
7 years
My Victoria’s Secret fashion show review: too many people in their underwear, not enough Harry Styles.
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@mink_off
Minkoff
3 years
Me, an adult who pays for her own rent:
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@mink_off
Minkoff
9 years
I want my husband to look at me the way joe Jonas looks at Demi lovato when he realizes she's the voice
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@mink_off
Minkoff
10 months
Imagining Taylor’s list of demands for attending the chiefs game was that she can’t be filmed doing the tomahawk chop and that Jackson mahomes is not allowed within 50 feet of her
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@mink_off
Minkoff
7 years
Concept: La La Land, but instead of jazz Sebastian's passion is nickelback
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@mink_off
Minkoff
9 years
"I'm thankful for myself”
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@mink_off
Minkoff
9 years
sometimes I forget the 2016 republican presidential candidate race is real and not some weird snl sketch.
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@mink_off
Minkoff
9 years
Rest in peace to my number one girly and low key love of my life, Hairy Styles the hairless rat #youwillbemissed
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@mink_off
Minkoff
9 years
"friday I threw up in a bush outside of sigma kappa" okay chloe 1. thats a sorority and 2. not a sorority at alabama
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@mink_off
Minkoff
6 years
Today my roommates are going to a Beyoncé concert and I am going to darty with $5 champagne. There are two types of people and I really wish I was the other type.
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@mink_off
Minkoff
4 years
I moved back in with my parents for three months and regressed into my high school form
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@mink_off
Minkoff
4 years
tonight’s vibes
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@mink_off
Minkoff
4 years
Every girl that did yearbook in high school has an underlying god complex to this day. I don't know how else to explain this, but it is correct
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@mink_off
Minkoff
5 years
I forgot to plug in my headphones before playing my music so now everyone in this planet fitness knows I am: a) dumb b) listen to Aaron’s party when I run My social status will NEVER recover
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@mink_off
Minkoff
4 years
This is literally Ariana grande’s second engagement, so your tweets about her being engaged “more than you change your sheets” are incorrect and not funny, but also gross, please go change your sheets
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@mink_off
Minkoff
3 years
I’m gonna kill myself… but in a cute way
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@mink_off
Minkoff
5 years
a man should also read the room
@luke_parker777
Luke Parker
5 years
A man should be the spiritual leader in a marriage. That’s not an issue of inferiority but an issue of assignment from God.
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@mink_off
Minkoff
3 years
The little thrill of waiting for the new dental hygienist to discover my lip tattoo
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@mink_off
Minkoff
10 years
remember that girl from elementary school? This is her now. Feel old? http://t.co/AnE28aqvgQ
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@mink_off
Minkoff
2 years
My roommate has been isolating in her room with Covid for 2 days now and the only things she’s asked me to bring her is tzatziki dip and an entire load of focaccia. Some absolute nutritional atrocities occurring in that room.
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@mink_off
Minkoff
4 years
the sexual tension between me and the nurse at urgent care when I tell him I’m allergic to latex
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@mink_off
Minkoff
5 years
Hello @ABCNetwork and @BachelorABC , if I do not see colton jumping any sort of fence in tonight's episode I will be forced to take legal action. I am very serious and have my friend who's in her first year of law school's number listed in my phone favorites ready to go
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@mink_off
Minkoff
9 years
My other New Years resolution is to be adopted by Nick Saban
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@mink_off
Minkoff
3 years
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@A24films_
A24
3 years
We’re looking for some tweets to turn into movies.
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@mink_off
Minkoff
5 years
Bold to assume that this will cancel out the damage done from drinking a four loko every weekend for 4 years straight.
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@mink_off
Minkoff
10 years
When you're 1d af and tide af but also have too much time on your hands http://t.co/RU7LWQDZMN
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@mink_off
Minkoff
4 years
They did not just cheers to war eagle with wine glasses filled with sweet tea. I hate it here.
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@mink_off
Minkoff
9 years
Best game day ever !!!
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@mink_off
Minkoff
5 years
For those having trouble keeping #TheLukes straight on #TheBachelorette , just remember: - Luke S. and the S stands for "small boi" - Luke P. and the P stands for "psychopath"
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