Mike Jozoff
@mikejozoff
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elon has let me out of prison
Montreal, QC, CA
Joined July 2016
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In the spirit of
@rampagepoker
and hating money, if I FT the $25k PSPC, I will give someone who accurately guesses my FT bustout hand (with exact suits) $5000, or winning hand if I end up shipping it. First guesser wins
1) Like + Follow
2) Make your Guess
Ex: JhTc
GL us :P
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The good thing about Ali, Jake, and Bryn all being deep in that we'll all have to battle about 30 fewer accounts in the 7.777k online HR.
#wsop
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2023 WSOP RECAP
Total buyins (live + online): $278k
Total cashes (live + online): $355k
WSOP Final tables: 2 (1 unofficial)
Piece buying result: -$32k
Blackjack net result: +$16k
Dinner Flips: + ~2k
Trips to Rhino: 3
Trips to Hippo: 1
Strip Club W/L: 2-2
New Friends Made:
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The most harrowing takeaway for me with regard to all
of this Robbi cheating stuff has nothing to do with the incident itself.
Instead, it's how willing the masses (even those who know nothing about poker) are to offer their nonsensical, uninformed opinions.
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I am staying at my grandpa's house for a few days. He couldn't figure out how to record his TV show, so he disconnected the Wifi router while I was playing 4 $200 SnGs, two of which I was HU with a lead. I promptly timed out of all of them and am now on extreme tilt
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Some more figures from my first full WSOP:
Trips to Nobu: 7
Trips to Sapphire: 2
Arm wrestling record: 5-2-1
Times hit in the face by
@RealKidPoker
: 3
Times threatened to get 86d from Bally’s: 3
New friends made: many :)
Love u all. Till next year
#wsop
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@padspoker
Fire every SHRB with 100% of myself until I’m either
#1
on all time money list or broke
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WSOP Main Event update:
Spent the first few hours of the main chatting with one middle aged American gentlemen on my right and building rapport.
I opened 85s UTG into his BB and it went to showdown, and the trust has been broken. He’s let me know that he’s shocked,
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Is this how RFID readers work? I had thought that the cards had to be on the felt to be picked up by the reader. Obv nothing fishy going on in SHRB but could speak to how easy it is to cheat if you have someone on the inside and know the run outs.
@Joeingram1
@berkey11
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My GG account got hacked and my entire balance of 40k is gone. What the fuck
@GGPoker
Can someone please help me
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Since arriving at PCA, I have registered two tournaments and won both of them. Yes, one was a satty into the 10k main, and yes, the other was a 109 on stars i regged while getting a haircut.
However, if this trend continues, I estimate my profits on this trip to be roughly 13M.
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First time HU for a bracelet 😎
First time getting second 😎
Ggs
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@helloitslynne
@GillEpp
Blowjobs are a lot like MTT cashes.
Most of them are meh, min cashes etc.. But once in a rare while, you'll ship one, and you'll tell all your friends that this specific tournament was awesome and you don't know how it made you cum so quick
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Im not an overly political person but we’ve reached the point where a white man is so consumed with virtue signaling his wokeness that he’s actually telling a minority that they don’t know what racism is
Lol
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We have an update / final resolution on my situation on
@GGPoker
. The security team went above and beyond and did a fantastic job - they were able to recover about 75% of the lost funds and freeze the hacker's withdrawal.
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@genymets
???????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????
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Congrats to Ali on winning his record extending 23rd bracelet last night
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Bagged 19m chips going to day 3 of the venom
82 remain. $1.2M up toppppp
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I just ordered an acai bowl, smoothie, and avocado toast from sunlife on doordash
It was $103
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Me folding trips+ 3 times and AK preflop during first 2 levels of main vs recs
46k at 300bb
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13 left in the final day of 25k
1.7M and a bracelet for the win 😀
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My money dont jiggle jiggle, it evaporates in decentralized virtual currencies
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Thanks so much to everyone who has reached out. As stressful as it’s been, a silver lining of this shit storm is that it showed me there’s a lot of good people who care about me and are trying to help. Appreciate you guys a lot <3
Will update when investigation is complete
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I try not to make enemies but just in case...
gonna start looking at some 200bb + heads up stuff
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Yeah sex is cool, but have you tried
Bagging the 1500 8M multiflight main on GG on 1 bullet and watching other regs be in for 25 bullets over the course of the next 2 weeks
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My family is playing 5 dollar mah jong games during the holidays right now and my mom started talking shit after she won a game. I got tilted and now we’ve cross booked 10000% on the next 5 dollar game. These are my mentally ill competitive gambling genes.
Merry Christmas.
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What's your favorite question you get asked about your career as a professional poker player by "regular people"?
I'll go first: Are you friends with people in the mafia?
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@ChancesCards
Because of Phil's choice of headwear, I have lost 90% of my networth to BTC Latinum. It was nice playing with you in a 25k field. If you need me, I will be playing 1/2 at the Golden Nugget.
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@kittykuopoker
@RyanFeePoker
@kittykuopoker
8am not reasonable. You tell me 8 am i tell you go ur side.
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@VegasHayls
One of the things I get the absolute most enjoyment out of in life is when people playing low-mid stakes try to put their dick on the table about how big they’ve played.
“yeah I was just playing the big game. It was 5/10… and we were straddling 😎”
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Just hit Diamond in League of Legends Teamfight Tactics after placing in iron in about 5 days. If there are any women who now, upon learning of this news, feel the uncontrollable urge to have sex with me, please do send me a “direct message”.
#shrpo
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Me: "Sweet, 100k in my GG balance! I can finally not worry about liquidity for..."
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@Joeingram1
I love how you’re just the default arbiter in every poker related conflict
No one better
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If any mid stakes grinders are looking to sell action for WSOP schedule (ABI $1500-2k roughly) slide in my dms pls
trying to have as much exposure in mid stakes as i can
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@CardsChat
Not only that, I bring my backpack to my chair, and when I’m behind in an all in I stand up, pick up my backpack and tap the table
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Also, this isn’t a 1/3 cash game. This is a 10k in the PokerGO studio with top class dealers / floor. I’m not supposed to have to worry about “protecting my hand” after I go all in. This is not in any way shape or form the players mistake; the floor already confirmed that lol
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I am playing online and I just ate a brisket and egg breakfast sandwich on a cheddar-jalapeno bun and drank an entire iced coffee 5 minutes into the hour. We have 14 minutes left until :55 break.
I do not think I will make it.
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The most tilting thing in the world is when you're 10 tabling and you get cocked on 9/10 tables and the only one you have left is the smallest tournament of them all
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Can someone do a wellness check on Martirosian. I don't see him playing 34 tables on wednesday at 9 pm
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If someone hacks me after the steps i've taken to up my cybersecurity, they deserve the money
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@jmoserr
@dennishegstad
You idiot, some of our uncles don’t have thousands of rare koi. Mine only has 500.
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@gordoMG
Just don’t use it while you’re at the table otherwise we’ll have to do a 12 hour long Twitter space
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Interesting one in PGT 10k today… MP opens, button calls, I look down at 99 in SB and jam my short stack. Original raiser asks for a count, dealer gets up, reaches across table and mucks my cards. Rule book says my hand is just dead… (1/x)
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So many people reached out and tried to help throughout this process, but I'm not going to list everyone because I'm not accepting an academy award; I'm just a moron who got hacked.
See everyone on Sunday
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Alright
@rampagepoker
has inspired me. I have played 18 holes of real golf on a course less than 15 times in my life. Most times I have not kept score because it was too bad.
I have improved at a golf simulator recently and am now shooting around 92-94 on average there (with
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@DougPolkVids
Tactical nuke mystery bounty.
Mystery bounty tournament, some envelopes allow you to spin an rng wheel with a 5% chance to hit the “tactical nuke”, which ends the tournament and the winner wins the entire remaining prize pool. EV of this pull would just be 5% of remaining
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First Sunday of 2023 in the books!
I got murdered through my face.
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@CaesarsSports
I cannot log into my account for whatever reason in Caesars Sportsbook NY. Trying to put money on the Bills Pats game but it won't let me log in and the app is being very glitchy. Please dm
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visiting my grandparents' place with nothing to do so I decided to buy a ridiculous amount of triton action and omega sweat this series
should be fun
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Bagged 641k day 1A of the Wynn 10.4k coming back to 5k bb. Average stack around 230k. Gl to all those who bought a piece for day 2!
#p5staking
@PocketFives
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@Jared_Carrabis
HATE IT. I AM AFRAID OF CHANGE. EVERYTHING THAT IS NOT THE STATUS QUO IS SCARY AND BAD
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I'm going to eat chipotle every day until i'm tired of it
day 4 right now and very much looking forward to this bowl
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@carl_bevv
@Minikiwi_9
Clear fold. Opponent could be holding higher royal flush on ACR. Can’t call for chop
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